Wash, the man they call Wash !

He is our pilot, the best you’ve ever seen,

Married to Zoe, he is pretty funny.

Our love for him now, ain’t hard to explain,

The Hero of Crappy Town, the man they call Wash!

Our Wash, he grew up without stars,

That’s why he went to flight school

Serenity’s now his home

That’s the boat where he met Zoe

He said: “I love your legs and everything above it,

Will you please marry me now?”

So they did just that, despite the fact

The Captain had clearly said no!

He is our pilot, the best you’ve ever seen,

Married to Zoe, he is pretty funny.

Our love for him now, ain’t hard to explain,

The Hero of Crappy Town, the man they call Wash!

Now here is what separates others from our semi-muscular man!

He has saved the crew, a bunch of times too,

He flies with impressive calm.

He likes to play with his toys,

His many plastic dinos!

Now the man they call Wash, he is our pilot,

And Wash is a Big Damn Hero!

He is our pilot, the best you’ll ever see,

Married to Zoe, he is the funny one.

Our love for him now, ain’t hard to explain,

The Hero of Crappy Town, the man they call Wash!