BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

SCREWTHEALLIANCE

The Treasure of Lei Fong Wu -- Chapter Five
Saturday, September 10, 2005

Vacations are sooooo relaxing . . .


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4225    RATING: 10    SERIES: FIREFLY

The Treasure of Lei Fong Wu

Chapter Five

“Hmmm. That feels good. That feels reeaal good. A little harder. Harder. That’s it. Slow it down just a bit . . . perfect! Just keep doing that for, oh, say the next decade,” Zoe gasped. She was reclining in a beach chair, wearing a very small white bathing suit – much different from her “work clothes”. She also had a sunshade over her head – not that Epiphany’s sun was particularly hot, but it was bright – a G8, if she recalled correctly. Luckily, the terraformers had invested quite a bit into a protective ozone layer. No need for the rich folk to get sunburn if they could help it. “I think you love my foot rubs better than you like . . . other things I do,” Wash complained playfully as he crouched at her feet. “You ever spend two months in the same pair of socks?” she asked, peaking out from under the sun-shade. “Ha! My first year of flight school!” he said, triumphantly. “In wet, nasty, muddy terrain?” “It was a damp climate, sometimes,” he admitted. “People shootin’ at you?” “It was in a rough neighborhood. I heard shots,” he defended. “Somehow I doubt the two experiences are equivalent.” “Mayhap. But I suffered. And I do enjoy the noises you make when I rub your feet. It reminds me of . . . ” “Down, boy. I’m closed for business ‘till I can recuperate.” “You’re supposed to be at your sexual peak!” he accused. “You should be peaking! Last night you were peaking all over the place! You spend months and months in combat, fighting to stay alive every moment, getting stabbed and shot and blown up and a little too much sex takes you down? I find that hard to believe.” “I didn’t fight with my vagina,” she said with dignity. “I wish I could say the same.” “I meant I didn’t fight purplebellies with my vagina,” she corrected. “For which as your husband I am eternally grateful. But still . . .” “I guess you’re just too much da diao for me, flyboy,” she said with a sigh. “Oh, you do know just the right things to say,” he said languorously, continuing to stroke Zoe’s feet. “I wonder if we were the only ones wearing out body parts last night. Kids?” he called, over his shoulder. “Anyone wear out anything last night?” Kaylee and River were seated nearby in lounge chairs, while Mal sprawled out on a towel in the sand, wearing a conservative baggy swimsuit and a peaceful expression. He had finally come down late last night. River was staring at the surf, probably doing some complicated mathematics in her head that were completely pointless to real people. Her eyes kept darting back and forth between the wavecaps like they were horses at a racetrack. She wore a long white hotel bathrobe that was at least four sizes too big for her, and a big floppy straw hat that she bought from the hotel boutique. The effect was comical. Kaylee was also staring, but her eyes weren’t focused on anything in particular. She wore a pretty green swimsuit with little opalescent blue fish all over it – another boutique purchase, as she hadn’t ever needed a swimsuit on Serenity before. She wore her big conical straw hat and had her rainbow parasol propped against her chair. She didn’t look too happy. “Only thing I wore out was a gorram pillow,” Kaylee said, bitterly. “Got back to the room, he goes to change, I pass out cold. It was the hempflower and the wine – wine always makes me sleepy. And he’s too much of a gorram gentleman to take advantage. Wake up this mornin’ all cute and cuddly – and crampy. Started my gorram period,” she said, miserably. “Aw, Kayleebear, that’s a gorram shame,” Zoe said, disappointed for her. “Worse ruttin’ luck. I wanted to see if Simon would tian yin. Other than that, I had me a grand time last night. It was real shiny.” Mal mumbled something from the sand. When it was clear he hadn’t been understood, he raised his head almost imperceptibly. “I didn’t get in until four hours ago, local,” he said. “And it was already way after midnight for me, relative. So it’s still last night, t’me.” “Aren’t you on a menses preventative?” Zoe asked, completely ignoring Mal’s blatant attempt to garner sympathy. “Not at the moment,” said Mal. “Do I need to be?” “Nah,” the engineer remarked, ignoring Mal. “Ain’t no reason to, I ‘spose. Don’t feel natural.” She made a face. “I don’t miss it, not one little bit,” Zoe said, fervently. “Ain’t had a monthly since the War.” “Periodic outflow influences subtle neurological factors and can cause erratic performance,” River commented to no one in particular. “I always thought of it as a down payment on babies,” Kaylee said, philosophically. Then something occurred to her. “Does that mean you don’t have that . . .” “‘Raging cho san ba on a stick’ time?” Zoe supplied. “She has it all the time,” mumbled Mal. “Tha’s why she was . . . yawn . . . such a fearsome soldier in th’war.” “Go to hell and rot for all eternity,” Zoe said in a friendly tone of voice. “Sir,” she added. “Okay, squeamish menfolk here,” Wash said, raising his hand half-heartedly. “Ladies, love you and I truly mean that. But there are things that man was not meant to know – except in the abstract, and this one is high on the list. I move we change the subject back to sex, where it belongs.” “Second,” Mal grunted without moving. “Coward,” Zoe said, accusingly. “I’m merely asserting my masculine authority,” he said with a stab at dignity. “Yes, dear. Now get back to rubbing my feet, flyboy. Ni shi wo de biao zv.” “Yes, my mistress. At least we get to lay on the beach for a while,” Wash pointed out. “Poor Simon is stuck up in a flier all day, getting a sales pitch from some hard selling slicker with bad hair and a permanent smile.” “He’ll get his chance. We got a full seven days here, don’t we Cap’n?” Kaylee asked. “I mean, they will have Serenity up and runnin’ on time, won’t they?” She sounded worried. Mal raised his head an inch and a half off of the towel that kept the sand out of his nostrils. “That’s the plan,” he agreed. “And after talkin’ to the technician, I got all the confidence in the ‘verse that she’ll be up and runnin’ on schedule.” “Good, ‘cause I ain’t real happy with strangers . . . crawlin’ all over my girl,” Kaylee muttered. “Doin’ things to her when I ain’t there to watch out for her.” “And that’s the last business I want to hear talked about ‘till it’s time t’go,” Mal insisted. “This is y’all’s vacation. Enjoy it. Might be a long time before we get another.” “Hear, hear,” Wash said. “No more shop talk. I declare, by the power of the ‘verse so vested in me, that we are, for the next week, not criminals, fugitives, or otherwise lawbreakers concerned about having our collective asses bound by law and sentenced to an indefinite term on the penal project of our choice; instead, we are festive, freewheeling, freespending tourists, and should behave accordingly.” While he had been talking, a fully dressed Jayne came out to the beach, broad-brimmed hat shielding his eyes from the sun. He didn’t look festive. “That sure is a mighty large amount of aqua,” he commented, half to himself. River looked up at him – and did a double take. It suddenly occurred to her that in all the months that she had known her, Zoe had never seen River do a double-take. Then River burst out into hysterical peals of laughter for no apparent reason. Jayne looked at her, confounded at first, then with some strange realization occurring to him, his confused expression transformed into a scowl. Mal opened one ee to observe. “You just shut up, you freak o’ nature,” Jayne muttered, and set off walking down the beach. Wash looked at Jayne’s back, then back to River. “I think we all just missed something,” he observed. River was still cackling mightily. “What was that all about?” Kaylee asked, curiosity burning. “Revelation,” River finally choked out. “Outside of physics, the most compelling evidence for the existence of God, Fate, or other capricious higher power in my experience.” She finally caught her breath, and looked after Jayne, who was quickly becoming a dot on the horizon. “Jayne makes me think God must be female.” Zoe just looked at her, as if she had merely stated the obvious. “’Bout time you figured that one out, crazy girl,” she commented. “I ‘spose most every woman comes to that particular conclusion early on in her life, no matter what church she grew in. Don’t know how you got that outa the likes of him, though.” “You mean God is a woman?” Wash asked, eyebrows raised. “They neglected that part in Sunday School. Might have even gone more if I’d known. Trifle heretical, but it would have made it more interesting.” “You got any doubt?” Zoe said with a small, wicked smile. “Now that you mention it – with that playful ‘you ever wanna have sex again’ look on your face – I have no problem subscribing to this particular heresy.” “Would ‘splain a lot,” admitted Mal, who was starting to drool onto the towel. He looked skyward. “Bitch.”

*

*

*

Simon was staring out the window, trying very hard not to stare at the sales associate driving the supremely stylish flier – a Markov Gran Turismo, not more than a year old and looking straight off the assembly lines from Rhinemark. Plush burgundy interior, soft red leather upholstery, advanced holographic HUD and gleaming control console. The kind of thing Simon, himself, would have acquired in a few years as much for status as convenience. Below was mile after mile of gleaming white beach and emerald green tropical rain forest. “So what do you think of our own little ball of paradise, Mr. Smith?” “I’m impressed,” Simon admitted, half-heartedly. “It’s a lovely hotel. I look forward to spending some time on the beach,” he added. He was having a hard time taking her seriously, which was unfortunate, because she was better than average at sales. The problem was, every time he looked at her pretty face, all he could see in his mind was her naked ass. “I’m certain we can get through the sales pitch and get you back to the beach shortly,” the agent said, “and I’ll try to keep it short and pleasant. And it is an excellent hotel – we’ve spared no expense. Made from local materials – except for the structural steel, of course, which we pulled from orbit. Small change, really, compared to what it took to make this.” The agent indicated the world below with a nod of the head. She was the one who had been fornicating with Jayne on the lift last night. “Yes, I’ve always been fascinated by terraforming,” Simon said, trying his best to sound convincing. He was, actually, intrigued with how a new ecosystem was planned and executed, but most of the rest of the process was pure physics and boring engineering statistics and he could care less. He tried to steer the conversation in that direction. “I’m always amazed at how a ‘new’ world would already have such an apparently well-developed biosphere.” He was having a hard time maintaining a straight face. He couldn’t help it. The image kept flashing in his mind. “Flora was added the moment we could: first microscopic algae in the oceans and some fast-growing bacteria, fungi, lichens and simple grasses to the land. That was about thirty years ago, when the atmo was just starting to equalize and finish cooking. As soon as we could we hit it with fast growing bamboo, shrubs, flowering grasses, heavy ground cover plants. Then we burned off as much as we could to add organics and carbon into the soil.” That golden hair, all mussed from her licentious activity. “Third stage was basic flora, evergreens mostly, fourth was the palms and the fruit trees and the first-stage deciduous cover plants, most from the Valley of the Pharaohs on Isis and the Guangdong jungle on Xian. That was about ten years ago. That’s when we started adding higher fauna, too. We aren’t quite up to the pack predator stage, but we’ve got a nice mix of mammals, reptiles, amphibians and insects. And herd animals, both wild and domestic. Lots of bugs – we add eight tons a year. And the fish! We expect aquaculture to be the only major agribusiness venture here – we want to keep the land pristine as possible.” Those breasts – those large, pendulous, very-attractive breasts, swinging in rhythm to her movement. “Sounds like a lot of work.” “Oh, it is! It takes hundreds of robots and heavy fliers, and tens of thousands of laborers for each stage – and this was the easy part. Labor has always been the downfall of terraformation. Luckily, the Company procured a large bloc of bondsmen from Yuan and T’ien early on in the process, and has cultivated them like we have that garden below us. Over a hundred thousand, now.” Hands pressed tightly against the wall, knuckles white, fingers writhing. “Sounds like a recipe for insurrection,” Simon said, skeptically. Such things had happened. Slave rebellion had been one of the factors in the Unification War – company bondsmen and smallholders had stood up for themselves against the corporations who owned them. A lot of Browncoats had the corporate logo tattoo of some terraformation company on their arms, he had learned from his associates out here in the Black. Back home in the Core they had been termed ‘rebellious workers’ in the news, or “insurrectionists” the few times they made the news. The revolts were more often mentioned on the business section, and not the political section, of the newslists. It was the economic issue, not the human one, which concerned the central planets. Slave insurrections were typically quick, bloody, and disorganized. They rarely panned out. Especially after the War, now that the Alliance could be called upon for assistance in enforcing corporate rule. But they still happened. “That has happened other places, but our people are well taken care of, well fed, and have a real chance at a prosperous future as residents of Epiphany.” “Residents. But not citizenship?” “Oh, certainly not! We restrict citizenship to landowners – estates over a thousand acres, minimum.” “Keeps the riff-raff out,” he noticed. “Exactly. And security should not be an issue, anyhow. There are two security units in orbit at the Company stations, ready to pounce on any such situation within two hours of being called. Our security is mostly former-Alliance Military – as is our equipment. Of course the Company doesn’t permit any arms among the bondsmen. In addition, our Internal Security administrator keeps a close watch on the servile community. The worst thing we have ever had here was a riot long before I was born.” Brow furrowed with concentration, damp with the sweat of effort. “Impressive,” Simon repeated staring down at the nascent jungle.. “We want to make sure our clients’ investments are protected. When the Certification is finally awarded and the project is essentially complete – except for maintenance, of course – Epiphany will have a built in servile class, a quite skilled one.” Lips pursed, then licked, then pursed again. “What about . . . cultural development? I like the hotel, and I ate at a truly fine restaurant last night, but what about theater, museums, schools, that sort of thing?” “In the planning stages, granted. I can show you models. But consider this, Mr. Smith: the citizens of this world will by definition have a taste for culture and the money to indulge in it. Once we get the Opera House built in Apex, and the sports complex, the entertainment industry will start to see this as a haven. In fact, we have a whole artists’ village planned, a project called Eureka. And we have entered into negotiations with Alexandria University and the K’ung Institute to provide instruction and advanced classes on a contract basis. We do have a class II cortex relay en route now. There is an Epiphany University project in the works, but we’re honestly twenty years away from that.” A hazy, but insistent look in her eyes, a look of anticipation. “Medical facilities?” “Two major hospitals are planned, at antipodal locations, as well as six smaller clinics and a specialty medical complex over in Acme – that’s in the foothills that way. Plus three or four health spas. We intend to maintain a ‘resort’ emphasis for quite some time. In the meantime, we have three clinics and a small but very well equipped hospital. Due to the nature of our clientele, we’re probably going to have a larger elderly population than most frontier worlds, and we’ve tried to plan accordingly.” Calves straining as they tilted her hips up and back. “Taxes?” Always a question near and dear to the ultra-wealthy. “Stacked in your favor. Instead of a standard system of taxation, you pay a yearly fee based on your acreage to the landowner’s association, which is responsible for most infrastructure and zoning issues. Plus, we tie a portion of stock in the company into all land transactions, so every landowner is also a stockholder. Other than that, we keep our individual taxes low. The Company will continue to provide most essential services until local municipalities develop. Then we turn them over to local control.” Back arched in that perfect way that made every naked woman attractive. “Looks like you’ve created an ideal world here, Ms. Goldsmith,” Simon remarked. “Very attractive” “So how many lots can I put you down for?” Undulating hips moving as if of their own volition. Simon smiled to himself. “Not quite that ideal, I think, Ms. Goldsmith—” “Please! Call me Mila!” Bunched up skirt. “Mila, then. I’m afraid I won’t be able to commit to anything this trip. I’m not officially here, and it would go poorly for me if certain people were aware of my presence here. One reason for the pseudonym.” “We try to be accommodating.” “You’re doing a great job. I’m not particularly wealthy myself, at present – oh, I’ve got a trust fund that would buy one of those apartments you were telling me about, probably some land. But I’m the heir to a considerable fortune – I have an elderly relative who will likely soon pass. When that happens, I’ll be in a much better position to negotiate.” “So what are you doing . . .” “Out here on the Rim? Well, with my gra—with my relative so ill, it might not be good for my health to linger too long in the Core. I have some . . . unsavory relations. There is a lot of money at stake. I was advised to disappear for a while, so I chartered a tramp freighter and I’ve spent the last six months traveling the border worlds, ‘checking on the family investments’. When the moment arrives, my soliciter will send me a wave, and I’ll go back to become a very, very wealthy man.” “Sounds exciting,” Mila purred. White silk panties around one ankle. “It’s more depressing than exciting. Waiting for someone to die – I feel like a bit ghoulish, actually. But when the day arrives, I plan on being a little more . . . aggressive in my investments.” “Well, I hope we can be included in your portfolio.” The way she said it could have been mistaken for a proposition, had it been in a tavern. Sales – sex – Face pressed up against the wall of the lift. “Can I ask where we’re going?” “Oh! Of course! We’re going to swing by a few of our model estates –examples of some of the approved plans we have. Not that you’re limited to them when you build – the Company has over sixty approved designs on file, everything from a cozy nine room hunting cottage to things far more . . . elaborate.” A gasp that shook her whole frame in reaction to the invasion. “Just so I can get the feel of it, right?” “And so you can talk to one of the owner/stockholders. He’s been here for over five years, now, and he can tell you better than I about how good the living is here.” Her warm breath steaming the gleaming walls of the lift. “Ah, excellent,” Simon said, absently. “I just know you’ll be satisfied,” she said, seductively . . . but in a businesslike manner. Perfectly formed naked ass. “I’m . . . looking forward to that. This might just be a good place to retire to in, say, three or four years.” “If you enjoy golf, we have three courses all ready complete, with eight more planned for the next decade. Perhaps you’d like to play a round? Nine holes, or all eighteen holes?” Perfect skin. “More of a tennis man, actually. Although I’ve always fancied yachting.” “We have a family who builds them, under contract, for the company. We have plans for a regatta to celebrate Certification. Ten years should be plenty of time to practice.” She was quiet for a moment. “I enjoy watersports, myself. I like being wet.” An indefinable, uncontrolled shiver that went from her loins to her shoulders. “Never had much chance for that.” She looked at him seductively. “You should always make time to . . . relax.” Thighs straining with the force of . . . Of – . . . of Jayne Cobb’s naked, hairy ass. “Do you have any aspirin? Bit of a headache coming on.” He looked out at the ocean, below. “Probably my sinuses. Weather’s more—” Oh, God, was he going to say it? “—damp than I’m used to.”

*

*

*

“He has left the world, Master Tortoise,” the thug said with a grunt. He was nervous, but resigned. “I checked my contacts at the port. He left aboard a resupply shuttle to Epiphany Alpha an hour after . . . the fight.” The man tried mightily not to snicker – especially with the loser of that fight standing in the room. Tortoise was not happy to hear that, even though he expected it. Lei Chin Yi was a wily sort, much like his father. He had the ability to make elaborate plans and have the means to execute them. Fei Wu had his father’s viciousness, but none of his native intelligence or natural charm. Useful as a tool, but decidedly limited in his capabilities. He was a good pimp, though, he had to admit. The master sighed. “Very well. Alert our spies to continue to look for him. Three thousand reward.” “It shall be done, Master.” The man bowed and left. After he departed, another man appeared from the shadows behind the curtains that lined the room. He was an older man – older than the Tortoise – but did not have the crafty look of a criminal. He was Tong, of course – but he wasn’t a petty criminal or pimp. He had a long face, long hair in a braid, a bushy mustache, and a regal bearing that one associated with a military man, not a hoodlum. He was dressed plainly in work clothes, but he did not carry himself like a laborer. Fei Yu stiffened when he appeared. “That is regrettable,” the man said, shaking his head. “So long a journey, only to be thwarted by a chun zi.” “He isn’t stupid, Honorable Lord,” the Tortoise insisted. The man’s eyes fell on Fei Yu. “I wasn’t speaking of Lei Chin Yi,” he said pointedly. Fei Yu stiffened even more, his heavily bandaged and swollen face evincing shame. “Still, there has not been sufficient time for the prey to escape out of the system. My spies are watching—” “They’re watching their cho yade,” the man said roughly. “If I could arrive without your precious spies knowing about it, why couldn’t Lei escape?” “You, General, are an experienced tactician with decades of experience, not a young punk who’s next shave will be his first.” “Use my former title again,” the man warned casually, “and I will strangle you with your own entrails.” By the tone of his voice the man was not making an idle threat. “Obviously the boy has talent. Runs in the line.” He looked back at Fei Yu. “Mostly.” The Tortoise sighed again, and wondered for the ten thousandth time why he had allowed Master Lei’s assassination to go forward. This position was not worth the stress, no matter how much power he wielded. He often longed for the simple days when all he had to worry about were his ji nv skimming off tips and his pi tiao ke beating one up, occasionally. And not paying for the privilege first. “I’m certain he will be located.” “I do not share that certainty. I’ve been kind enough to allow your men to pursue this, and they have bungled it at every turn. The Tong cannot afford such incompetence. I will, therefore, be bringing in my own men. They excel at tracking down fugitives. And they don’t mind a body count, if necessary.” “Please, Honorable Master, let me handle this. I have only recently come into this position, and such activities would likely risk attention of the Company.” “You should have thought about that before sending this chou wang ba dan to challenge his brother so stupidly. A shame to the family!” “Uncle, I—” “Silence! You have not earned the right to behave so familiarly. Obviously your mother had inferior genetics. Your father’s line is not so prone to idiocy. Ni shi bai chi!” he said with a disgusted look on his face. “It is your fault that my box is now offworld.” “It is my box, Honorable Master!” Fei Yu demanded. “Mine by right! I am the eldest son!” “You are nothing,” the man sneered back. “If you had been under my command, you would not have made it out of basic training. And that box does not belong to you any more than it belongs to Chin Yi. It is the property of the House of Lei, held in trust. By worthy sons of the line,” he added, “not the sons of whores.” Tortoise watched as Fei Yu boiled silently. He was curious what the young man would do. Draw a weapon? Such an act against an accomplished warrior like General Lei would be the height of foolishness. Suffer in silence? That would be wise – but humiliating. And Fei Yu had more pride than sense. Perhaps he was old enough to learn? “Very well,” Tortoise said sadly. “If you insist, Honorable Master, I will allow it.” The General howled with laughter. “Allow it? Little man, you and your pathetic little Tong exist at this moment because I suffer you to do so. I swear by Buddha’s big toe that if I so chose, you and that lifeless lump of ji bai over there would be dead in eight seconds, and within ten minutes I would be running this miserable excuse for a criminal organization. I allow. And I predicted this would happen. I want to introduce you to my top field agent,” he said, opening the concealed door to the apartment he had been loaned with a flourish. A middle-aged Occidental man entered, wearing a broad-brimmed hat with a single yellow feather and a three day growth of beard. If the General was a natural commander of men, this man was a natural killer of them. “Honorable Tortoise,” he said, wickedly turning the honorific into insult, “this is Captain Nathaniel Campbell. He’ll be overseeing my efforts here while I return to my ship. You are to treat his every whisper as a command from me. And you are to treat every command from me as a command from God. Dong ma?” “Of course, Honorable Master,” the Tortoise said, tiredly. “Although I wonder what might happen if an accident should befall either you or your agent? This can still prove a dangerous world.” The threat was so thinly veiled that Tortoise felt bad about making it – it was not artful, as a threat should be. But he was under pressure. “Let us not even contemplate such an unpleasant possibility. You are aware of my reputation. I will not go further than that. Find the boy. Find the box. Or wo xi wang ni man man si, dan kuai dian xia di yu.” A slow death and a quick ride to hell. And the General could do it, too. He did have a reputation, keeping his foes alive for days – even weeks – in the last war. His membership in the Yellow Sash Tong did nothing to diminish that reputation. Now he was not bound by the conventions on human rights. “I was just exploring all the nuances of the situation,” Tortoise said casually. “I, of course, will extend Captain Campbell my every consideration.” “I would take it as a personal favor,” the General said, the closest he had been to civil his entire stay. “I would hate to have to return here upon hearing about any unfortunate accidents. But Captain Campbell will find my box. My box,” he repeated, for Fei Wu’s benefit. “The box of the House of Lei.” “Of course. Quarters shall be made ready for him, and he shall enjoy our hospitality.” “Don’t need no yangwei hospitality,” the man muttered. “I’m a workin’ man.” “So you are, my friend. So go to work. Find me the box. I care not for the boy.” He walked over to the room’s one window and looked out into the most opulent section of the slum. “It is high time the Treasure of Lei Fong Wu was recovered. The family has need. The map must be assembled. Our destiny must be delivered.” “And would the Honorable Master enjoy the company of one of my ladies for the evening?” “My shuttle departs in two hours. Send two,” he said, rubbing his chin. “And make at least one of them your daughter,” he added. “Perhaps she will redeem your poor performance by a better one between my knees.” Tortoise swallowed hard. His daughter. He had three, of varying ages. All three were virgins. There was only one answer he could give to such an insult. “Yes, my master, she will be delivered as you wish,” he said without hesitation.

COMMENTS

Saturday, September 10, 2005 2:36 PM

SCREWTHEALLIANCE


Sorry it has taken so long with this chapter. I'm working out the plot, and I have to be careful how I set it up so it won't suck later.

Thanks for your patience, and keep the comments rolling! I promise it will get exciting before long.

Best,

StA

Saturday, September 10, 2005 3:19 PM

BENDY


Outstanding.

And it's nice that Kaylee has such a good friend to protect her from Simon's depredation.

易弯曲

Sunday, September 11, 2005 6:01 AM

AMDOBELL


Very fine, all the pieces coming together nicely and Simon and the realtor were very entertaining. Jayne's hairy ass? Now when did Simon take a good look at that? Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Sunday, September 11, 2005 6:40 AM

BELLONA


“Okay, squeamish menfolk here,” Wash said, raising his hand half-heartedly. “Ladies, love you and I truly mean that. But there are things that man was not meant to know – except in the abstract, and this one is high on the list. I move we change the subject back to sex, where it belongs.”

“Second,” Mal grunted without moving.

“Coward,” Zoe said, accusingly.

you're so obviously a man...zoe, you're scarin' the men

Sunday, September 11, 2005 7:16 AM

LAFEEVERTE


Again, you wine us, dine us, and lead us on ... and then drop a bomb like Simon's horrified image of "Jayne's hairy ass."

It's terrific!

Sunday, September 11, 2005 9:00 AM

REALLYKAYLEE


awesome! i must admit to being a little concerned about my friends. that general seems more than menacing!

i also enjoyed the insight into the future of monthlies; yeah- you definitly are married!

Sunday, September 11, 2005 9:02 AM

REALLYKAYLEE


awesome . . . so, when's the next coming! i am not nearly as patient a person as i was when i started reading kl!

Sunday, September 11, 2005 10:27 PM

UNSAVORYPLATYPUS


what can i say, it's like the show was never cancled. bless you!

Monday, September 12, 2005 12:56 AM

RELFEXIVE


It's marvellous, it surely is.


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