Day -2290 Lost the war. Bummer. If only the air support had come.

Day -2050 V. Shiny. Bought a ship. Firefly-class transport. To cheer myself up, named it after the scene of my greatest defeat.

Day -1650 We have a pilot. He's from a planet that never sees the stars, and Zoe hates him. Brilliant hire.

Day -1630 We have a genius mechanic.

Day -910 We have a better genius mechanic. And she's cute and cheerful. Sometimes I just want to duct tape her mouth and put her in the hold for a month.

Day -880 Took Kaylee out of the hold. It didn't help.

Day -350 Ship hijacked. Convinced one of the hijackers to switch sides. But he wanted his own cabin. Too bad--he's kind of cute.

Day -232 V. Shiny. Rented out the spare shuttle to a Registered Companion. Maybe now I'll finally get some! Shouldn't have put Kaylee in the hold back then--might have a chance now.

Day -44 Turned down by the Companion. Not shiny. Actually, Wash is kind of cute. Zoe will kill me if I try anything.

Day 1 A Shepherd, a doctor, and a gun-crazed fed joined the crew. What is this, some kind of TV show?

Day 2 Doctor transporting naked woman. Apparently his sister. Like I believe that.

Day 10 Eat crow, Niska! That is, if you can pick him up off the walls of this canyon.

Day 17 Sister insane. Prefer doctor. Kaylee likes him, though. Really shouldn't have put her in the hold.

Day 34 Fought a duel for Inara's honor. Very brave and gallant, if I do say so myself. Because she doesn't say so.

Day 50 Not fair. I have a wife, and she tries to kill me. Just can't win. Inara kissed my wife, though. At least I can dream of that threesome. Wash and Zoe fighting--maybe now I have a chance. No, Zoe will still kill me if I try anything.

Day 78 My wife came back, wanted me to grab some guy's gun. Not what I thought.

At least Inara saw me naked.

Day 94 Finally sleep with a woman and she dies. Maybe that's why I'm not having any luck.

Day 173 V. sad. Wash died. Now Zoe will -really- kill me if I try anything.

Day 174 The Operative grabbed my ass. Finally, some action! Too bad I'm permanently numb in that part of my body. At least he helped fix my ship.