BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

HOBANIWASHBURNE

你咬住我-Bad things happen....when Jayne gets creative
Sunday, November 6, 2005

Bored and waiting to 'git goin', Jayne Cobb works on a project that will yield more for him than anyone.... but what happens when things out of control goes a wee bit astray......


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3201    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

A Jayne Cobb piece for ya. (POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE!!! You have been warned!)
There is no BUCKY AND BOB. Sowwies....................



Fall 2518 January 2nd Onboard Serenity (Written by Blake)




"Oh yeah." His characteristic gruffish-chortle was soft, but present all the same. Standing a top his bed, arms up over his head, he pushed forth a long line of silver, ribbed tubing. Etched and tarnished, aged but strong. It was even flexible in most of the right spots and for the price he paid, that was good enough. Wiggling his right arm, a snag was hit somewhere up in the duct of his ceiling where he was feeding through the fat wire. He'd been working here and there on restoring this contraption for the past two weeks. In fact, if Jayne Cobb had to give praise where praise was due, he would say this was one of the most productive passing of time he'd ever done. Some wasted wages, at least in a time past he'd call it that, but today he called it well-spent genius. He was about as good as the Doc right now. His developing of the contraption to distract himself from the sour moods of others was working, not that Jayne didn't feel a bit of his own discouragement based on recent weeks. The death of another man didn't mean much to him prior to getting on with Serenity, and now with Mal, Simon, River and well, yeah, mostly Mal, showing him each and every step about a new path. Book would call it righteous. There were other ways to label a man but only one came to mind: Loyal just was never a word good to describe Jayne Cobb, unless it was looking out for that number one. Damn that Mal. Damn Wash and damn the Preacher. Back to thinking on his special project, Jayne turned his thoughts to self-genius once more and mentally patted himself on the back for being so clever on finding salvageable parts. Old odds and ends he picked up here and there but it was the chance happening of Jayne walking into a pawn shop looking for a new, big gun that had him come across the real idea striker. The transformer box was already hooked up and ran like a horse thief from the sheriff, the man behind the counter said. The Seller even plugged it in to show Jayne how the lens worked against the monitor. It was beautiful. "咬住我 您事" Gritting his teeth, flipping switches on the main unit in different sequences, Jayne grumbled and looked around his room for the mini-monitor that came with the device. "Damn bitch don't work right." Wiggling it around, as he cussed out a higher technology he didn't entirely understand, there was no giving up in his mind. He'd spent too much money and time down here with the unit, making it work just right, to quit after a glitch. "EEurch!" His forced exhale came and as the Captain of this sleek, long vessel, Jayne gave his order to the long tubing, "I said get goin' ! Ya hear me? GIT!" Listening, or finally the large man managed to position the head of the tubing past its barrier, the fattish wire proceeded forward again with ease and Jayne chortled happy once more as he continued to feed through the rolled coil from its perch on the floor. Up through his ceiling the ribbed tubing went, taking the head of the steel snake away from his room, through the ducts and making its way to the destination. When he hit another snag, once that no amount of bullying or cursing would set free, Jayne sighed and stepped off his bunk, onto the floor with a heavy plop. "Don't make no sense," he muttered to himself while scratching his head with his gloved hands. "Lemme see where ya are now." Squatting down, Jayne lifted up the bundles of tubing coil and judged that he had at least twenty feet already up and in the vents exploring. All the wiring was in place, however in order to try and get better reception, he juiced the transformer up with a little bit of Cobb-modification-ingenuity. Not that he was like Kaylee and could make things happen with ease, but with a bit of instruction from various peddlers, intermixed with his own knowledge of ship chores and the like, Jayne felt he had a handle on it. A smile, he began flipping switches and looking over his shoulder at the monitor sitting on a shelf, waiting for the snake head camera lens to pick up the world it had been crammed into. "Oh gimme me a home," the gruff voice sang almost merrily, "Where them girlies all roam. Naked an' abundantly free." When nothing flickered to life on the set, Jayne turned off the transformer and began switching around input and output wires, abandoning his cheery voice that was becoming more and more tense. "Where them legs do spread wide, an' she lies on her side... ya little bitch turn on an' work already!" Snapping a plug in place, then forcing the transformer on, the monitor came to life to reveal two grates that intercrossed with round circled holes away up ahead of Jayne's steel snake. "All right!" He congratulated himself as a large smile donned his face but it was cut off short. A loud hum and pop followed and whatever light or power had been working ceased. The entire power of Serenity went black, rendering her useless as every light, lock, blinking bridge console monitor or toilet flush button went dead. A surge of sorts attacked thanks to the antiquated transformer that was purchased cheap by one Mr. Cobb. "一屎" Sitting in the dark, Jayne's eyes went wide and he leapt up, banging his head on a cabinet he left open. Another round of mixed cusses followed and he all but tripped before standing on his bed to grab and yank the ribbed tubing out of his ceiling. "Comeoncomeon," Jayne jerked and forced until he heard the last of it slip through the duct with a 'wwiizzzzz' sound and fall onto his bed. Less than a minute later, the transformer unit was unplugged, everything unceremoniously shoved to tucked away and he was climbing up the rails of his room door. The power of Serenity flickered on and off for a spell before powering back up to life in full. Standing there, doing his best to be dumfounded, Jayne looked up towards the bridge and then back down to the dinning room for anybody who might catch him. In the moment of recognition of the coast being clear, Jayne's voice hollered out, "Now what in the hell was that all 'bout?!?" Sometimes it was better to blame others than blame yourself. If you could get away with it.



~~~fini~~~

Jayne Cobb-(Written by HobanIWashburne) The Mercenary
"You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here. "

COMMENTS

Sunday, November 6, 2005 5:16 PM

HOBANIWASHBURNE


Thanks so much. I have fun with Jayne n Wash... although I have to admit that Wash is a bit of a fav. of mine.

-Blake

Sunday, November 6, 2005 5:22 PM

BELACGOD


The song was the best part. Write the rest of it and post it in filks.

The whole thing was good, too. Where was he sending the camera anyhow?

Sunday, November 6, 2005 5:23 PM

HOBANIWASHBURNE


Heheee.... now to tell you that would spoil what's to come... doesn't it?



I'm new. Today's my first day. What is filks?

Thanks for the feedback. gotta love it

-Blake

Sunday, November 6, 2005 5:29 PM

RINNYPJ


*giggle* Oh, that was so wonderfuly devious of Jayne. I can totally picture him doing that too.

Wonderful! I can't wait for more.

Sunday, November 6, 2005 5:45 PM

HOBANIWASHBURNE


Thanks so much!! I'm a wee bit partial to his little "Oh gimme a home" myself... bad writer! Bad writer! But so glad you like it. Please read more and/or give me the link to your fav. piece. I'd like to return the favor or feedback.

-Blake

Monday, November 7, 2005 12:21 AM

AMDOBELL


Very funny! Maybe Book's God was keeping an eye on Jayne's weakness. Whatever, I think he would have risked a few Special Hells to get an eyeful. Chuckle. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Monday, November 7, 2005 8:34 AM

BELLONA


"Sometimes it was better to blame others than blame yourself. If you could get away with it."

a man after my own shrivelled, devious heart...

b

Tuesday, November 8, 2005 8:00 PM

HOBANIWASHBURNE


RiverMeimei - I'm sorry. Not trying to make you cry!! (but laugh.. GUILTY AS CHARGED!!)

AMDOBELL - THAT could very well be... heheeee....

Bellona - You have a devious heart eh? Uh oh!! :: ducks :: Merci!!


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