“So, we have almost every weapon in the universe... now what?” Mal was sitting in the cargo bay with Eis, watching Jayne sort through all the newly found cargo. Occasionally, when he thought no one was looking, Jayne would slip a couple of items into his jacket. “Far from it, Captain. However, while we do not have every type weapon in the universe, we should have, aproximently, 4.3568 percent, which is quite a bit if you think of how many types there really are in the universe. Why even sticks and rocks would-” “I don’t care if we have every single stick and rock either,” Mal fumed. “What do we do now?!” Eis watched Jayne picking through the scraps of shelving now, knowing he wasn’t going to like this. “Sell half of it.” Jayne dropped everything in his arms and looked back with an almost comical drop-mouthed expression on his face. “What!” he yelled when he recovered from shock. “We got things on this boat now that I thought I’d never be getting. What's yer sayin is purely in...consevibible!” “Inconceivable...” “Ta ma da, I aint givin up the bigguns. We’ve been bondin!” He made a gesture to one of the larger packages and made a pouting face. “We won’t sell all of them,” Eis bargained. “Only the smaller ones. We need the money for food, Jayne. Unless, of course, you want to try and rob a grocery store and have your face all over the news for that.” Jayne flinched. What a sissy crime. Those stares had so many gorram video cameras too. “Oh all right. But don’t sell Cappy!” Mal raised an eyebrow. “Been namin your guns a little early, haven’t ya?” Jayne nodded his head. “Only thissun.” He walked over to one of the not-so-big-but-still-looked-like-it-could-be-badass boxes and started pulling it towards them. As he finally brought the seven foot box to the pair sitting down, Eis spotted the label. C'mon. Alliance company. Then, as the box got closer, he read what it actually was. “Oh no, Jayne, we’ll not be selling this one...” *** “Everything installed Kaylee?” Eis was nervous. He wasn’t sure how much of this the old craft could handle. I mean, they didn’t even make these things anymore... “She’s ready to take off!” Kaylee shouted back, patting the Mule on the side. Except, it wasn’t a mule anymore. Now it was more of a tank. Mal pressed the ignition switch, and the old hovercraft roared to life. “Ok... now something I’ve never done before... Weapon systems?” Zoë looked down at her panel. “A’ok, sir,” she yelled over the roar of the newly modified engines. Mal nodded. “Here we go,” he muttered under his breath. Jayne picked up the large back of money. “Le’s go shoppin!” he said sarcastically. “Why do we need guns again?” Zoë gave him a ‘are you really that dumb’ look. He misinterpreted it and nodded... “Simple Jayne,” Mal explained as they started flying out of Serenity. “Lotta people would kill for about two tons of food going 10 miles per hour on an old beat up hovercraft...” Unfortunately, Mal didn’t know just how many people. >>>>>>>>>>>>one hour later<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< “GORRAMIT RIVER!” Mal screamed into his com. “WHERE’S MY SPACESHIP!!” The mule was being perused by hundreds of peasants throwing sticks, rocks... even the occasional cat. Some had guns too, but Jayne took them out in a hurry. It was that cats that he couldn’t bring himself to shoot... “Almost there, Captain,” River stated emotionlessly back to him. He started to beat some of the faster ones over the head, and shot some guy who was carrying another cat. Why didn’t he bring Eis too? Suddenly, a strong wind came. So strong, in fact, that it started blowing all the people away. Jayne started looking left and right. “What in the ruttin hell?” he panicked, still looking all around. “Is it God?” Zoë then pulled his head back so that he was looking up at Serenity slowly pushing the peasants back, and gave him that look again. *** “So Kaylee, what can my seemingly un-lethal transport do now? Mal asked his mechanic, who just came out of the engine room. “Well,” she began. “If the descriptions are right, with all the new hardware, we could slip past an Alliace cruiser without them even sniffin us. And even if they did, I think we might ba able to get away without runnin. Specially with Cappy...” Mal hung his head. “Kaylee, please don’t tell me your-,” “Aw, its a cute name Jayne gave it, capn! It works like a charm too!” Mal looked back at her. “You tested it?” Kaylee looked down at her feet and grasped her other arm. “Well... no. But Serenity says she’ll work. She really likes it!” Mal nodded. If Kaylee said it was good, it was good. “So, lets test it, shall we? *** “FIRE!” Mal yelled into Jaynes ear louder than need be. Jayne looked at him in shock and annoyance. Mal shrugged. “I always wanted to say that on this ship...” Jayne turned back to the controls and pulled the trigger. Instantly, four rockets flew out from the sides of the ship and blew the menacing target barrel out of the sky. Well, not really out of the sky, but... y’know what I mean... “That worked well,” River said, “but I do believe an Alliance destroyer has more armor than an empty barrel... and more guns.” Jayne sneered at her. “Course it does. This is just for the fighters and some fancy breakin an’ enterin.” River shrugged and went back to steering towards the next couple barrels so Jayne could test all the other weapons. “Are we going to test Cappy?” Kaylee asked. Everyone except Simon and Inara looked at her and shook their heads no. “Too Dangerous,” Mal explained. “Plus it is a one time use. We would need to steel s’more ammo, and accordin’ to Jayne, next time won’t be so easy.” 18 more barrels had been destroyed by Serenity’s 6 new armaments (not including the mysterious Cappy) before Mal ordered Jayne to conserve ammo. They were ready. “Anybody have any last wishes before we go on this suicide mission?” Mal asked. Almost everybody nodded. This was home. They were content. But note the ‘almost’... “I want a cat,” River spurted. Mal cringed.