Legacy: Drivin’ Lessons Spoilers- Series, movie and previous chapter. Disclaimer- the only character I can claim is Hoban Junior, the rest belong to Joss and Co. Note- I liked Hobie so much, and y’all seemed to as well, that I think this may turn into a series thing. If you have any ideas or requests for a Hobie fic please let me know and I’ll see what I can do. Summary- Hobie takes driving lessons into his own hands, with the usual result. Translations- yu ben de- stupid, foolish Xion can wang ba dan de biao zi- ruthless whores of sons of bitches xxx

A tremendous scream echoed through Serenity.

“Arrrrrr! How do you turn this thing offfff?”

Mal looked up from his plate. His eyes narrowed. “Where’s Hobie?”

xxxxx

Mal stormed into the Doc’s quarters that he and Kaylee where now sharing with their daughter, slamming the door open. Kaylee jumped, jolting the little girl in her arms awake. Startled the little girl screwed up her face and let out a wail.

Simon sighed. “Thank you very much, we just got her to sleep.”

Mal looked at the red faced three year old and winced, as her screams grew louder. “Sorry. Y’all seen Hobie?”

Kaylee looked up from consoling her daughter, suddenly pale faced. “That scream-?”

“Was him. Can’t find the blasted boy anywhere.”

“Uh oh.” Why did that boy hafta be so predictable?

“Kaylee?” There was a large hint of warning in that tone.

“Cap'n...” Kaylee said in almost a whisper knowing how mad Mal would be. “The way Hobie was talkin’ earlier…”

“Kaylee.”

“Hobie's learnin' to drive.”

“Drive what? We're in the middle o' space and he ain't on the bridge, I was just there and the shuttles-“ Of Kaylee's look he knew. “Not the mule... not the mule!” he shouted running for the cargo bay.

xxxxx

Mal and Jayne stood looking over the railings as Hoban struggled to keep the mule steady let alone stop it. Damn kid was lucky he hadn’t tried to fly the air vehicle, woulda tore the cargo bay to shreds in minutes. Still, even playin’ around on the old ground mule Kaylee was fixin’ up, boy had done even damage. He was gonna be a in whole mess o’ trouble.

“Gorram kid,” Jayne cursed.

Mal sighed. He was gettin’ too old for this. “Go down there and help him,” Mal told Jayne.

Jayne shook his head. “Wouldn't never get close enough to it.”

Mal scratched his head. “Jump on it.”

“Using what? My amazin’ never before seen superpowers?” Jayne asked incredulously. “You jump on it!”

“I’m the Captain!”

“So?”

“You gotta to do what I tell ya to!” Mal exclaimed.

“Not when you order me to act like some yu ben de superhero. I can’t fly, Mal!”

“Xion can wang ba dan de biao zi!” Hobie screamed, as somehow he made the mule mount the stairs and start climbin’ them.

“I gotta do everything ‘round here,” Mal complained. He pointed a finger at Jayne. “You’re damned lucky Zoë done took River and ‘Nara planetside. She’d tan your hide, things you’re teachin’ that boy.”

Mal ignored the protests that immediately came to the mercenary’s lips and moved to the head of the stairs. He waited until the mule drew level with him.

Hoban looked at Mal with terrified eyes. “Mal, help!”

Mal scowled as he reached towards the handles of the mule. “What do ya think I’m doin’?”

Mal managed to get one hand around the handle of the mule and squeezed the brake. Immediately the mule stopped, nearly sliding back down the metal stairs and taking the teenage boy with it.

Mal grabbed Hoban by the arm and yanked him off the mule. “Jayne, get over here and grab a hold would ya. Damn thing’s slippin’.”

xxxxx

Mal paced back and forth, giving Hoban his usual disapproving glare. “"You trashed my cargo bay, cleaned up three cases that were due to be dropped tomorrow. Gonna cost me some fine coin, young man. What you got to say for yourself?”

Hoban looked up at Mal with wide innocent eyes that weren’t fooling him for a second. “Jayne told me to.”

Mal glared over at the man struggling to pull the mule the rest of the way up onto the platform. “Did he now?”

Jayne’s head shot up, nearly losing the mule in the process. “I did not! Well, I mean... he was botherin' me when I was busy. Told him to teach himself.”

Mal exhaled heavily, his brow’s tightening. “He wanted lessons and you couldn't say no?”

Jayne shrugged. “Wasn't really listenin' Didn't 'xactly know what he wanted lessons for...”

xxxx

Jayne looked up from sharpening his knife and glared as Hobie climbed down into his bunk. “Got me in a spot of trouble today little man.”

Hobie shrugged with a wide grin on his face. “So?”

Jayne frowned. “So? I'm on gorram dishes for a week because you trashed the cargo bay.”

Hobie smirked. “You let me and I got extra chores for five ruttin' months.” He scowled at this.

Even though they were in his bunk Jayne glared and looked around. “Shhh! Keep it down! Who taught you to say ruttin'?”

Hobie shrugged. “You did.”

“Well, you gotta stop listenin' to me.”

“What if I know I should?”

Jayne thought about this for a moment. “Clear it with Mal first.” He shook his head and grumbled to himself. “Can't keep gettin' chores 'cause a fourteen year old can't make his own decisions.”

“Ma says I should always ask an adult.”

Jayne snorted. “You'd be the only on this boat considers me that.”

xxxxx

Kaylee stood in the cargo bay, her coveralls, hands and face stained by grease. She stared up at the platform where the mule sat, left there after Hobie had ridden it up the stairs. Kaylee titled her head as she studied it.

Zoë sidled up beside her. She looked at the mule with a faint grimace. Ever since the boy had turned fourteen he was more of a trouble than ever. Still there was one thing…

“How'd he get it up the stairs?”

Kaylee grinned and shook her head. “You do not want to know.”

xxx

End.