Company’s Comin’

Spoilers- Firefly- series SG1- nothing in particular Disclaimer- the characters belong to people who are not me. Note- I have no explanation for how these two shows are able to exist in the same fic. Solar flares? The aliens have been hiding? I don’t know. I think it’s best if everyone picks an idea they like and read this with that idea in mind. I simply used my poetic license. Speaking of, I think it’s up for renewal. :) Translations: Mei mei- little sister Wo de ma- mother of god xxx

Mal stomped over to where Wash and Zoë were seated and grunted. “Once, just once, I’d like these things to go according to plan.”

Zoë looked up from nuzzling Wash’s neck. “I take it the negotiations aren’t going well sir?”

“Shouldn’t be no negotiations,” Mal grumbled. “We agreed on 100, cash on delivery. Ain’t our fault there weren’t no extra machine.”

“Well, you know what they say about scientists, Mal,” Wash said with a grin.

Jayne looked up from sharpening his knife. “What?”

“Ya can’t trust ‘em,” Mal told him. “Doc’s havin’ a conversation with them. Doctor to doctor. Boy’s quite a haggler too,” Mal noted with pride.

“Yes,” Wash deadpanned. “You’ve taught him well.”

“I reckon we oughta keep it for ourselves.”

Wash raised an eyebrow at Jayne. “Because no one would ever notice an ancient 50 foot stone ring in our cargo bay.”

“It’s an ancient artifact, Jayne. It’d be harder to fence than the Lassiter.”

Jayne pouted. “I was just sayin’.”

“You’re always just sayin’, Jayne. Maybe sometimes you should just think.”

Jayne glared at Mal but wisely kept quiet as Simon trotted back to the crew. Simon stopped beside Jayne and put his hands in his pockets.

“Well, Doctor, do we have a deal?”

Simon sighed. “They really wanted that mushroom shaped thing as well. Apparently it’s rather difficult to work the circle without its DHD. That’s what they call the smaller device,” he hastened to explain. “According to them there’s some connection to earth-that-was. They found some writings about a ‘Chappai’ or a ‘Stargate.’”

“And they just told you this?” Wash asked incredulously.

“No,” Simon admitted calmly. “I eavesdropped on their argument.”

Mal crossed his arms, preparing to be the hard-nosed captain. “You go back and tell ‘em that DHD wasn’t included in the deal. We could get a lot of heat offa the Alliance for this, robbing that museum on Apophis. If they want that extra machine, they’re gonna have to pay big.”

“Now we’re talkin’.” Jayne smirked.

River wandered down the ramp and walked up to Simon. “Company’s coming.”

Kaylee ran down the ramp, her boots clanging against the metal grating. She took River gently by the arm. “I’m sorry, Simon. She insisted. I couldn’t stop her.”

Simon smiled at Kaylee. “It’s fine.” He turned to his sister. “Mei mei, who’s coming?”

River rolled her eyes and pointed at the giant stone circle. As if activated by her attention the circle lit up and the inner wheel began to spin.

River turned to Simon and asked earnestly, “Do you think they’ll like tea and crumpets?”

The stone ring continued to spin. A chevron shaped thing disengaged itself from the ring, coming down to cover a glyph. A light above it lit up as the chevron shot back up. This continued six more times until on the seventh time a burst of blue-ish liquid emerged from the middle with a ‘kawhoosh!’ It settled back into the ring, looking like and up right puddle.

Mal felt his mouth drop open. “Wo de ma!”

River, unlike her fellow crew mates whose mouths were open and eyes were wide with shock as the y stared at the stone ring, grinned expectantly.

River twirled, her dress spreading around her. “Tea and cakes, cakes and tea. Particle accelerators and time dilation devices. Bullets that shoot to kill. Molecular disrupters and rear thrusters.” River sighed. “Such wonderful conversations to be had.”

River watched in delight as ripples floated across the surface of the ring. “They’re here.”

Four figures stepped through the ring.

Kaylee blinked, three months of curiosity satisfied in two minutes. “Oh, so that’s what it does.”

xxxxx

Colonel Jack O’Neill stepped through the stargate and looked around at the planet that was nothing like the telemetry they received from the MALP. He cleared his throat as his team emerged behind him.

Come to think of it, where was the MALP?

“Huh.” Jack sighed. “Oh, Carter!”

xxx

End.