Disclaimer: Firefly is not mine, just writing for fun.

A/N: So, I was asked to post The Retribution Series as one story. Here it is. There has been a little bit of rewriting, so it could connect better. I rated it PG-13 for some situations and implications. Simon/Kaylee, Mal/Inara (ish). Big thanks to Gypsylife for the help and hope you enjoy it! Comments are always welcomed!

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Simon loved it when she wore those shorts. He couldn't control himself when Kaylee wore them. She had on that little tank, the brown one with the flowers, and Simon wasn't sure why, but her socks were pulled almost up to her knees and she had those cute buns on her head. She resembled those girls he remembered from school, the one's who played field hockey every Tuesday. He would always remember to walk the long way to the transport, just to get a glimpse. As Kaylee sauntered up to Simon with a wicked grin spreading across her face, he leaned back on her bunk, arms bracing himself. She quickly straddled him, knees on each side of his hips, arms stretched out over his shoulders, not sitting on his lap but pressed against him. Her head stayed a few inches from his, coming close to his then pulling back coyly. It was one of the things Simon loved so much about Kaylee, her playfulness. Of course he fell for the bait and leaned forward more, forcing him to wrap his arms around her waist. With only mere seconds to their lips meeting the com in Kaylee’s bunk switched to life. “Kaylee! “, the Captain’s voice resonated off the hull’s walls, destroying the moment Simon and Kaylee were sharing,” We need you up in the cockpit. Gorram cortex feed is blown and I need to send a wave! Hurry up!” “Always when it’s gettin’ good”, Kaylee muttered as she slid off of Simon and grabbed for her shoes and coveralls. Simon leaned back on his arms, rolled his eyes, and groaned, “This is getting ridiculous. How many times in the past few days has this happened?” “Seven”, she replied as she began lacing up her boots. It seemed that the fates had been working against Simon and Kaylee. Everything on the ship was breaking down, nothing catastrophic but little things, making Kaylee feel like she was losing her touch with Serenity. And Simon was doing more non doctor duties that it would fill up most of his spare time. Any moment they had together was continuously interrupted. By the end of the day they were so tired they just collapsed in each others arms. But now it was becoming truly irritating. Kaylee leaned down and kissed Simon quickly. She lingered for a moment, thinking one more kiss wouldn't hurt none. Right as she was leaning in the intercom buzzed again. "Kaylee!" With a little exasperated growl Kaylee punched the com, “I’m comin’!” She then climbed up the ladder, leaving Simon to get himself ready for the rest of the day.

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Simon and Kaylee were frantically disrobing in his dorm room. Finally they had some time to themselves. “Did you double check the compression coil?” “Yep, I did full systems checks, everything’s in workin’ order. Did ya finish the inventory? You’re not on septic vac are ya, ‘cause we need to dump it ‘fore we hit atmo on Paquin!” “No, Jayne is.” Kaylee was already out of her coveralls and helping Simon pull his sweater off. “River said we had about fifteen minutes before we landed." “That’s plenty a time!”, Kaylee squealed as she began to take off her socks. "No," Simon motioned for her to stop," Keep them on." A playful smile spread across her face as she attacked him, jumping on him , wrapping her legs around his waist. He held her by her thighs, not wanting them to crash to the floor as he tried to keep his balance. Anything broken would definitely spoil the mood. She didn't even kiss him on the lips but went straight for the little spot behind his ear, next to the hair line, she knew that would drive him crazy. It worked, his eyes rolled back a little as he pushed her up against the wall. The walls began to shake, they were already hitting atmo, they’d be on the ground in just a few minutes. “I thought ya said we had fifteen minutes!” “We did! I was told fifteen!” The crackle of the com interrupted them yet again, “Simon, report to the cargo bay, we’re leaving the second we hit dirt.” Gently setting Kaylee down to stand on her own and pout, Simon began flinging on his clothes with great irritation. “Simon!” the com buzzed again. He practically punched the com button and responded, “I’m coming!” _______________________________________________________________

“No ya ain’t”, Jayne chuckled as he kept himself from falling over in a fit of laughter. Zoe leaned against the control panel, a conspiratorial grin spread across her face and asked, “Sir, when do you think they’re gonna figure out we got River “listening” in on them?” “Well, Simon’s top three percent, but I think he’s still a little addlepated. Kaylee’s ‘bout ready to burst. Whaddya say Lil’ Albatross, how much longer we got?” “At least until the end of the day.” “What happens at the end of the day?” “Inara will tell on us,” River replied never taking her eyes off the controls as she landed. Hearing a throat clear, they all turned to see Inara leaning against the opening of the cockpit. “So that’s what has been so funny around here.” Inara gave Mal a withering look, then turned on them and stormed down the hallway towards the kitchen. Mal chuckled to himself as he followed after her. "C'mon "Nara, it's not that bad." "Mal, it's horrible what you all have been doing to them! !",Inara chastised, clutching her shawl tight around her shoulders, “Not to mention a little twisted, having his sister "listen" in on when her brother is about to...” Inara faltered but then flung around to face Mal squarely, her full repugnance at the thought apparent in her voice, “That's really disturbing!” "It ain't like she hasn't seen it first hand! 'Sides, she only waits till they're almost gonna have sex, we don't have her give us a blow by blow," Mal explained, knowing it really wouldn't help with Inara's anger," C'mon, admit it, it's pretty funny." "Funny? Will it be funny when you sabotage something and Kaylee won't be able to fix it? Poor thing. She's been running all over this ship, cleaning up your messes and what about Simon? He has been doing all the go se jobs that no one else will do, when you're just trying to keep him distracted, exhausting him in the process." "We just loosen up a wire or two, I would never try to intentionally ruin my ship." Inara headed for her food locker, flinging it open with the force of her exasperation. Pulling out the tea she kept stored there, she flew around to face Mal . He was leaning against the wall by the storage closet, arms crossed, that perpetually smug grin plastered across his face. “What about Simon?” “Well...” “You owe them Mal.” “Let’s not be dramatic ‘Nara.” “I won’t say anything, yet, but you better make it up to them! You are completely incorrigible!” “Incorrigible, huh? I think that’s whatchya like most ‘bout me,” Mal teased as he pushed himself off the wall and started to cross the room towards Inara. She set down her tea in a huff and was about to really lay into him when the com crackled and Simon’s even more irritated voice filled the room. “Hey! Where is everyone?” Mal began to chuckle as he made his way back through the hall to the stairs leading to the cargo bay. Inara took a deep breath, then picked up her tea and headed back to her shuttle. She didn’t know how, but she was going to make Mal suffer for this. ________________________________________________________________

Inara let her emotions settle a bit before taking a full account of the situation at hand. She decided to check in on Kaylee. Inara rapped demurely on Simon’s door, “Kaylee?” “Come in”, Kaylee answered, sounding a bit despondent. Inara slid the door open to find Kaylee sitting crossed legged on Simon’s bed, elbows on her knees, her hands holding up her sagging head. Inara’s anger began to boil again. She had never seen Kaylee so pathetic. “Are you moping mei mei?” Kaylee let out a big sigh, “No...just frustrated is all.” Inara sat gently on the bed next to Kaylee and pushed a lock of hair back behind her ear that had fallen in front of her face. “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” “It’s just.. well, everything’s been goin’ all wrong , Serenity keeps breaking all over the place. Maybe I’ve been a bit distracted. Not paying enough attention to her, but even “that” hasn’t been happenin’! All day long Simon and I are running circles around each other and never gettin’ “it” done. And this time, it ain’t even our own fault!" Kaylee pondered for a moment and added, " Mostly his fault last time.” Kaylee leaned her head against Inara’s shoulder. Inara responded by reaching her arm across and pulling her a bit closer, keeping the tiny smile on her face from the last remark hidden. “Don’t worry. Karma has a way of setting things aright. I have a feeling this little kink will work itself out," Inara pulled back to face Kaylee directly, "Now, River’s somewhat occupied plotting a new course to Three Hills, everyone else is in town, and Serenity seems to be working just fine at the moment. Why don’t you come to my shuttle? We could have some tea, maybe brush your hair? I really am pleased to have you all to myself for a little bit. That is, of course, unless you want to stay here and-” “No”, Kaylee perked up quickly, ”That sounds shiny.” Flashing Inara a bright smile, they both got up from the bed and headed out the door.

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Pulling the brush through Kaylee’s hair gave the girl some much needed relaxation. It also gave Inara some time to formulate a scheme. The cruel, albeit hilarious joke ( though Inara would never confess it aloud), had taken a toll on Kaylee. The little mechanic always took the world upon her shoulders when things went wrong. Inara liked being the one to lift that weight off. She missed the girl time that they used to share. “This is nice,” Kaylee mused as Inara laid the brush down and ran her fingers through her hair then kissed the crown of her head. “I’m so glad you came up.” “Me too.” Kaylee beamed as she pushed herself up off the floor. They both startled a little when there was a knock at the door. “Yes?”, Inara questioned as River entered the shuttle. “Nav controls are not quite right.” Kaylee sighed, but she didn’t seem as perturbed as before. “All right, River, I’ll take care of it.” After Kaylee left, River looked down sullenly at her feet and clasped her hands, wringing them a bit nervously. “I’m sorry.” “I believe I am not the one you should be apologizing to, but never mind that now , sweetie. “ She came over to hold River’s hands in her own. “We don’t want to hurt Simon and Kaylee’s feelings by letting them know they were being spied on. And I believe you were lead astray. That man can be very convincing. Maybe you could do something nice for them, as an apology, without having to say it.” River looked up at Inara with a huge smile on her face. Inara cupped River‘s face and smiled back. “Now why don’t you go and help Kaylee, I have some things to do.” As River exited she called back with a giggle,” Evil.” She smiled as she began to rummage through her things. ________________________________________________________________ Kaylee was all smiles and chatter through out the meal after Mal announced that they were going to take a few days off on Three Hills. All the while underneath the table she couldn’t keep her hands off of Simon until she excused herself from dinner. Pinching Simon on the thigh before leaving she headed off down the hallway to the engine room but everybody noticed that she exited down the stairwell instead. Simon waited a few minutes then excused himself too. He ignored the snickering he could hear from the kitchen and took the stairs two at a time. When he reached his room Kaylee was sitting on the edge of the bed smiling to herself as she was taking off her clothes. Simon couldn’t help but look at her suspiciously and then smiled himself and asked,” What has you so amused?” She dazzled him with one of her amazing smiles as she pointed to the wall next to the sliding door. The com was a complete mess of wires. “No more interruptions.”

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Mal did feel a little sorry for the joke they had been playing on Simon and Kaylee, but thought that the downtime would make up for it. Deep down, he hoped it would appease Inara’s anger, but he wasn’t really ready to admit that to her himself. His late night walk around the ship had led him to the kitchen and a nice cup of coffee when Inara floated in with a bottle. “Mal.” “’Nara.” After grabbing two cups, Inara sat next to Mal at the table and placed the sake bottle between them. She smiled at Mal as she leaned in to pour them both a glass. “It was very kind of you to let the crew have some time for themselves.” “Just time for a break.” Inara’s smile spread wider as she pushed the cup she had poured for Mal towards him. Not one to pass up some fine liquor, Mal and Inara toasted to “the happy couple”. Her laughter at the implication made Mal feel more relaxed. More toasts ensued till he was almost seeing double. He reached out and took Inara’s hand as they were laughing, causing a light blush to color her cheeks. Her smile was encouraging. Mal decided to make his move. He stood up from his chair and pulled her against his chest , rubbing small circles with his thumb on the wrist of the hand he grabbed just moments ago. Inara leaned into him and tilted her head up. “Come to my shuttle.”

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"Oh Mal, don't be upset, it happens to all men." He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back turned to her as she reclined stretched out on her side, head resting on her palm. She was wearing that sweet pink confection of a nightgown, the one that skimmed her thighs, slit on the sides, and plunged deeply on the neckline. Mal stole a glimpse back at Inara , then shook his head and thought this really shouldn’t be a problem. “I can‘t believe... I mean I .... Well, it doesn’t happen to me!” Inara pushed herself up and crawled over to rest on her knees behind him, hands sliding up his arms and then grasping his shoulders, her lips brushing against his ear as she comfortingly whispered,” Maybe we’ve been a bit overanxious about this moment.” “No, I’ve-” “Or drank too much.” “No, no. That ain‘t never been-” Inara kissed his temple, shutting him up effectively, and then rested her chin by the crook of his neck, whispering, “Or maybe some terrifying space monkeys came and stole your erection.” “There were no...huh?” Inara pushed Mal to the side as she quickly climbed off the bed and began gathering Mal’s clothes. “It’s not so much fun being toyed with, is it?” “Whaddya...you...you drugged me!” She smiled sweetly while replying, “Let’s not be dramatic Mal. Besides, it wears off in a day or two.” Mal got up and headed straight for Inara, but she hastily pushed his things at him then turned to open her shuttle door. “Maybe when you grow up a little more I will invite you back to my shuttle, but for now, Good Night!” Inara leaned against the wall , arms crossed over her chest and watched with satisfaction as Mal stormed out. ________________________________________________________________

“How long has he been eating out of cans?”, Simon asked Kaylee quietly. “Maybe a week now? He won’t eat or drink nothing that he don’t make himself.” They had been sitting at the end of the dining table sharing a quiet lunch, just the two of them, when Mal entered, ignoring them both as he grabbed a can and fork, then walked right back out towards the cockpit. Suddenly, out of nowhere, River came up, collected both Kaylee and Simon’s plates, and began washing them. “River, we can clean those”, Simon protested as he got up from the table. She just shook her head and smiled. “No, I want to.” Simon gave her a puzzled look, but dismissed it as just one of her whims. She had been quite helpful as of late, which he didn’t mind at all, except when she had cleaned his room and folded all his underwear into perfectly symmetrical squares. He wasn’t really comfortable with her touching them. Kaylee walked over and kissed River’s cheek. “Thanks, honey.” She then took hold of Simon’s hand and pulled him along the hallway to the stairs leading down to the passenger dorms. River finished washing the dishes and decided to clean the rest of the kitchen, since it was Kaylee’s job this week and she was still trying to “apologize”. Mal came back in to throw away his can and wash his fork as she was alphabetizing the pantry. River began to giggle. “Wouldya stop that! Every gorram time I come around ya! What is so funny?” “Space monkeys.” River then collapsed on the floor in a puddle of laughter.