"Scary, mama," Hannah sobbed.

"It's okay, baby," Kate soothed. "Uncle Simon's just tearing Uncle Mal a new one, sweetie."

The common room, which had only minute ago been filled with the calm quiet following an exhausting holiday, was now buzzing with anger.

"She's my wife, Mal," Simon shouted. "She's pregnant, for Christ's sake."

"She ain't quite showin' yet," Mal said reasonably. "Outfit should still fit her fine."

"Sending her out on a job could be as good as murder, don't you see?" Simon threw his hands up in the air. "Sometimes I wonder whether you have respect for any human life that's not your own."

"I got respect," Mal said. "I also got respect for the fact that this boat has to keep flyin', an' we can't make that happen 'less we keep workin'."

"Mal, we could live on the sale of the stones for a long while," Wash pointed out. "There's no reason we have to take on another job so soon. We could relax, take it easy for once."

"I ain't lettin' you dress my River up like no common whore," Jayne said darkly. "She ain't common and she sure as hell ain't no whore."

"They ain't gonna be whores," Mal said patiently. "They're gonna be showgirls. 'Nara's already ordered the costumes an' everything."

"Showgirls, huh?" Wash said thoughtfully. "That's, uh, that's quite the mental picture." He cleared his throat. "So, when is this going down?"

"Listen to Daddy defend my honor out there, kiddo," Kate said dryly. "He's really quite the champion, ain't he?"

"Inara is behind you on this?" Simon said, shocked. "I can't believe -"

"It was her idea to head for New Vegas," Mal said smugly. "She's got a friend - former colleague - who's gonna help us with the details, for a cut, but otherwise, this is our job. We ain't workin' for nobody on this. It's all us."

"If anything happens to Kaylee or the baby," Simon warned.

"Will there be a spoon involved?" Mal smirked.

~*~

New Vegas was one of two moons that orbited Isis. The moons, called Orleans and New Vegas, were referred to by Isisians as Sodom and Gomorrah. New Vegas was a desert moon, with a single cluster of civilization referred to as The Strip. It was alive with casinoes and hotels, offering free buffets and cheap rooms in hopes you'd gamble away your life savings during your visit. The weather was scorching during daylight and could chill you to the bone at night. Orleans was a wetter heat, an oppressive smothering heat that lingered after the skies had darkened. It was a very sensual place, inhabited by very sensual people. The moons were so-named partly because of their climates and partly because they were settled by expatriates of the cities by similar names back on Earth-that-was, which really explained the cultural similarities.

New Vegas was possibly the only place in the verse you could get hitched and get gone before the Alliance knew a thing, if by chance you happened to be a fugitive, so before Miranda had happened, the thought of visiting there had entered Simon's mind many a time, though he never said a word of it to Kaylee, because at that point he was still too shy and awkward to even kiss her. He'd never actually been, though while he was in MedAcad a group of his classmates had invited him along on their excursion. It was a week until final exams, and he wanted so badly to do well that he'd declined.

Wash had been there a time or two before he'd joined Mal's crew. Like Simon, he'd been invited by classmates, only he'd gone. Wash wasn't the kind who needed to study for his exams to know he was going to pass, as exhibited by his graduating second in his class. He still resented Mr. Universe for hacking the system, though the man was long dead and buried now. Wash had really deserved to be first. His experiences at Vegas were rather blurry, made so by excessive drink and a few strippers too many. When they'd had to bum a ride back to flight school he'd realized why locals referred to it as "No Wages." He'd been back once after that, just before he and Zoe had been married. He called it his lost weekend; he didn't know why he'd done it. There was no doubt he loved Zoe more than life itself, but part of him, the part that made him want to be a flyboy in the first place, wanted to stretch its wings and feel free one last time. Zoe had never asked, and he never offered details on what happened that weekend. There had been another woman - a stripper, and a young one at that - though he couldn't remember her name or even the color of her eyes.

Mal hadn't been to Vegas since before the war, and he reckoned it couldn't have changed much. Booze, gambling and women really didn't vary much from year to year. Maybe the stakes had gotten higher, maybe the women had become looser, but Vegas would always be the same, more or less.

Generally Jayne was game for any place that had booze and loose women, but he was a little worried what might happen if River caught him looking at one of the many strippers or showgirls that pranced around half-naked. He loved that woman more than he loved his Vera, but damn if she didn't scare the shit out of him.

Inara had escorted a client to a poker tournament at the Shining Comet years ago. He'd lost, miserably, and found himself suddenly unable to pay her wage. He'd become drunk and beligerant, and Inara had to wave the Guild to rescue her, despite his protests that what happens on Vegas, stays on Vegas, and it wasn't fair of her to tell. He'd earned a black mark in the client registry.

Kate wasn't proud of the time she'd spent on Vegas. She had been a confused kid of 20, and like so many other confused kids, had run away from culinary school, hitch-hiking from planet to moon, moon to planet and ending up on Vegas. She was scared of where her relationship with Michael was going, she wasn't ready to be married, but there she was with that ring on her finger... She went wild. She'd picked up a job stripping in some dive where the women were known for being a whole lot looser than the slots, and though she'd managed for the most part to maintain her dignity, there were nights she had too much to drink and woke up in the bed of a stranger. Usually alone. She still wondered which of the anonymous bar patrons had really fathered Hannah; after enough tequila they all looked the same. Michael had come for her; he'd searched high and low until he found her, up on the stage with half her clothes off. He'd gone up on the stage, put his own shirt on her, and dragged her all the way home. He was an honorable man, and when she found out, he'd stuck with her, married her, taken on a better job to provide for them... and in the end it had killed him.

~*~

"I never been to Vegas," Kaylee squealed. "Is it as excitin' as they make it seem on the Cortex?"

"No." Kate said harshly.

Kaylee looked surprised. "Didn't you go there to work 'fore you an' Michael got married?"

"Yes," Kate answered.

"You could elaborate on that," Simon pointed out.

"Could. Not gonna." She looked up to see Mal enter the kitchen with Hannah on his back. "We need to talk," she told him. "Kaylee? Simon? Mind watching the booger?"

"Not at all," Simon said, watching her with a curious expression.

"I don't see anythin' needs talkin' 'bout," Mal told her as she pulled him out into the corridor. "We're doin' this job. You work for me, you're in."

"I won't," she said firmly. Her voice broke as she said, "I can't." Then there were tears and Mal was at a total loss, not knowing what else to do for the crying woman than pat her back awkwardly.

~*~

Supper was... well, no one could really tell what supper was. There was chicken, breaded and baked, but the rest of the meal seemed to be the result of Kate taking a butcher knife and pretending that all the head-shaped vegetables in store were in fact the captain's head. Come to think of it, the chicken wasn't so much cut into nuggets as it was hacked to bits.

Mal wasn't sure what exactly he'd done to incur her wrath, but he made a mental note that once he figured it out, he should never do it again. He preferred his meals to not look... murdered, and he especially preferred his body that way as well. "Look, Kate," he began, stopping the instant she turned her icy glare on him.

"The costumes arrived," Inara said, trying to change the subject. "We're all going to look amazing."

"I can hardly wait," River grinned. Pretty things were becoming a weakness of hers.

"Yes, it's always fun to be degraded and objectified as long as there's money involved," Kate muttered. "Who's going to watch Hannah while we're off prancing around in our undies?" she asked Mal.

"Kaylee could do it," Simon suggested.

Mal sighed and nodded. "Fine, Kaylee will babysit Hannah and Serenity." He clenched his jaw. "Nobody else gets to back out. Simon, Wash, I know you guys don't go on a lot of jobs, but I'm going to need all of you. This isn't gonna be a walk in the park."

"No kidding," Simon laughed humorlessly. "Vegas is a big place, and while it's Alliance-free, every casino there is going to be crawling with security."

"Yep," Mal grinned.

"Kaylee, promise me that when Mal gets the rest of us killed and I finish killing him, you'll raise Hannah as your own," Kate said dryly.

"No one's getting killed," Mal told her. "'Least, none of us."

"Did your mother drop you?" Kate grumbled. "On your head?"

Jayne narrowed his eyes. "This ain't about Mal's plan at all," he said. "There's some kinda reason you ain't keen to go to Vegas, ain't there?" Everyone stared at him "What?"

"Excuse me," Kate said softly. She stood up and left the room. All eyes were on Kaylee.

"She's just my cousin," Kaylee shrugged. "I got no idea what's got her panties in a wad." She sighed. "I'll go talk to her."

~*~

"The don't like it when dancers up and quit," Kate told her. "'Specially in the middle of a set. 'Specially being hauled off by a customer. Customer leaves, he ain't payin' for drinks anymore, and if the dancer leaves, nobody's payin' to look at her anymore."

"You were a dancer?" Kaylee looked shocked. "Like, as in, naked?"

Kate nodded. "I ain't proud of it. I did a lot of stupid things when I was on Vegas. Like get myself knocked up."

Kaylee shook her head. "No, Michael wasn't on Vegas with y- oh." She paused. "Ohh."

~*~

"You got a fair criminal mind under all that pretty face and frilly clothes," Mal said affectionately. "Wish you could talk sense into Kate. I ain't sure it'd be wise for me to talk to her, bein' that she's got all them big kitchen knives."

"Kaylee's talking to her," Inara smiled. "I'm sure she'll smooth things over. Kaylee's good at that."

Mal sighed. "I ain't sure I can even walk now," he smiled lewdly. "You want somethin' done right, get a professional."

"Former professional," Inara said, poking him. "And you have to walk, because you're not sleeping here. You snore."

~*~

"What do you mean, Hannah's not a Frye?" Simon asked, confused.

"Michael ain't her daddy," Kaylee told him. "I don't even know what to think of Kate right now. How could she... I mean, she's not like that, I don't understand -"

"We all do things when we're young that we regret," Simon said gently. "I'm sure Kate feels bad enough about that for the both of you."

"Yeah? What do you regret?"

"Not finding you sooner."

~*~

"Now, baby-doll, I swear it, I'll do my best not to look at no one but you, but I can tell ya from experience it ain't gonna be easy. I'd have ta dig my eyes out in order ta miss all the eye-candy." Jayne said carefully.

River shrugged. "You're a man, you'll look. If you touch, I'll break your fingers."

~*~

"You gonna talk to be about what happened at dinner?" Wash asked cautiously.

"Hadn't planned on it," Kate sighed. "I don't suppose you're going to leave until I tell you, though, are you?"

"Do you want me to leave?" Wash asked, leaning against the door frame.

She paused. "No."

Taking that as an invitation, Wash walked into her room and sat next to her on the bed. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Kate sighed. "The lowest parts of my life happened on Vegas. I was working at the Lucky Panda -"

"Isn't that a strip bar?"

"It is."

"You were a stripper?" Wash grinned.

Kate glared at him. "I was a stupid kid."

"Sorry, go on. It's just, the mental image - right, shutting up."

"There's really not much else to it, aside from the part where I had way too much to drink, far too many times." She paused, chewing on her lower lip. "I don't even know who Hannah's real father is. It's mostly a blur, but I'm afraid as soon as I see all that blazing neon it's going to come back to me, and I'm not sure I want to remember. What if someone recognizes me?" Kate asked. "I didn't exactly leave on the best of terms."

"We've all got a few skeletons in our closets," Wash told her. "You know we'll all be there for you, right? Even Mal, in his own crotchety, mean old man kind of way."

"He's not letting me off the hook, either," Kate frowned. "So I might as well go up to Inara's shuttle and look at the pretties she bought us."

~*~

"Why does Inara need to see me?" Simon asked. "I thought she and the girls were trying on their costumes."

"They are," Mal smirked.

"So?"

"'Nara promised her friend four dancers," Mal told him, barely containing himself. "And since you put Kaylee out of the running..."

"No," Simon said, horrified.

"It is a drag revue, after all," Mal said, mouth twitching. "We should at least give them one o' the real thing."