BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

FIAREYNNE

How I Soar Chapter 19
Friday, December 30, 2005

An AU in which Zoe sacrifices her life for Wash... and he must learn to move on.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2555    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

"Forget them," Inara urged.

"Whole gorram crew," Mal whinged. "Everyone's goin' space crazy."

"I certainly must be, if I've signed on to marry the king of the crybabies," Inara chided. "What's this really about?"

"He - he ain't bein' true," Mal sighed. "To Zoe. To her memory. He's down there dancin' with Kate, an' I think I saw kissin', an' where there's kissin' there's likely gonna be sexin', 'cause it ain't like they never been intimate before."

Inara sighed. This was going to be a long night, in any case, but she'd hoped for a long night of celebrating. "Zoe's gone, Mal. She's not coming back."

"I know it," Mal frowned. "They never do. But it just don't seem right."

"He's alone," Inara said softly. "She's alone. Don't you think it's right that they should be alone... together? Especially since they share a child."

"I suppose it ain't right a man should be alone when there's a woman warm and willin'," Mal conceded. "But it still just don't feel right."

~*~

"Are you gonna invite me in?" Wash asked. He'd walked Kate back to her room after their "date."

"It's only our second date," she said coyly. "Goodnight, Wash."

He settled for a kiss. "Good night. Sweet dreams."

Her dreams weren't exactly sweet, but neither were they nightmares. She dreamed of a tall, dark woman, exotically beautiful and clearly intimidating.

"Kate," the woman said. "Kathryn Angela Frye."

"Yes?" Kate replied, confused. "Zoe?"

Zoe nodded. "Take care of him, hear? He's a good man, an' he deserves to be treated good. Do right by him."

"I -" Kate blinked. "How?"

"You gave him the one thing he wouldn't let me give him," Zoe told her. "That's a start."

~*~

"Zoe?"

"Hush, baby," she told her husband. "You didn't think I wouldn't check up on ya from time to time, did ya?"

Wash smiled. "How'm I doing?"

"You're a daddy," she smiled back. "I always knew you'd be a good one."

"Zoe, I -" he began.

"I know, baby. I figured somethin' done happened on Vegas the way you made it up to me after." She grinned. "You let that little girl o' yours an' her momma take care of ya, dong ma?"

"Kate?" Wash shook his head disbelievingly. "You're - you're okay with that? With her?"

"I want you to be happy, baby, an' I can't be the one to make that happen from where I'm at." Zoe smiled sadly. "Someday maybe we'll be together again, but it ain't gonna be for a long while, an' you got a whole lotta livin' left to do."

~*~

"Captain."

"Zoe." Mal wasn't surprised to see her in his dreams, since he'd been thinking on her so much that day. "How's death treatin' ya?"

"Just fine," Zoe smiled wryly. "Ain't quite so much fun as bein' alive, but I got a whole lot less bullet holes this way."

"Payin' me a visit special, or makin' the rounds?" Mal asked.

"Little o' both," Zoe replied. "Kate an' Wash been real iffy about things, but not so iffy as you been. He ain't betrayin' me, sir. I'm dead an' buried but he's still a livin' man."

"I ain't gonna like it none," Mal frowned.

"You lie," Zoe grinned. "Ain't that woman been feedin' you well? An' ain't that little girl brightened up your ship? An' your life?"

"Reckon that's so," Mal admitted.

"Crew o' Serenity's a family," Zoe told him. "Family's always got room for one more."

~*~

"Zoe!" Kaylee called, excited. "I thought you was -"

"I am."

"Then what -"

"You're dreamin'."

"Oh," the younger woman said sadly. "It ain't been the same since you been gone."

"Way of the 'verse, li'l Kaylee," Zoe said affectionately. "I hear you an' Simon done good."

"We're married," Kaylee admitted shyly. "An' we're havin' babies."

"Two of 'em," Zoe agreed. "You'll name one for me an' one for the preacher, just like you said?"

"Cross my heart."

~*~

"You're not really here."

"That's so."

"You're a figment of my imagination, my subconscience." River cocked her head. "What do you want?"

"I'm just checkin' up on everyone," Zoe smiled. "You're doin' good, way I hear it."

"I - there are fewer psychotic breaks. She... I'm learning not to disassociate. There are meds, and -"

"And there's Jayne."

River nodded.

"Take care o' that ol' ho-tze de pi-gu for me, little River."

~*~

"All the king's horses and all the king's men," Simon sighed. "I sound like River."

"I know you done tried to fix me," Zoe told him gently. "I was too broke, for too long. There wasn't nothin' left to save."

"It's what I do," Simon frowned. "What good am I if I can't keep my own family safe?"

Zoe smiled, real wide, and Simon realized again what a beautiful woman she was. "It ain't the doin' that counts, doc. It's the carin' enough to try."

~*~

"Comin' back to haunt me?" Jayne grinned. "Or is this one o' them naughty dreams what lands me in that special hell the preacher was always talkin' about?"

"What in God's name are you goin' on about, Jayne Cobb?"

"You don't know, I ain't gonna tell ya." He paused. "What's it like to be dead?"

"You don't know, I ain't gonna tell ya," Zoe replied. "An' you best not find out any time soon, neither. I hear you still can't manage to stay out the way of bullets."

"Workin' on it, woman. These things take time."

Zoe smiled. "Somehow I always knew I'd die before I ever had a civilized conversation with you. I guess I don't gotta tell ya to take care of River?"

Jayne shook his head. "No power in the 'verse could stop me."

~*~

"I hear congratulations are in order," Zoe said quietly. "Though I don't know whether it's you or the captain I should be congratulatin'."

"Zoe," Inara said warmly. "I think both of us."

"Been a long time comin'," Zoe said. "I was startin' to think you two'd never figure it out."

"Well, for a companion, my aptitude never did seem to lie with romance," Inara blushed. "It seems I can only read a man when I don't care what it is that I find in his eyes."

"Now you know," Zoe said, satisfied. "An' don't you forget it. You ground him, 'Nara, an' he needs that."

"I need him, too," Inara admitted. "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, so to speak."

"That's so."

~*~

"Hey there, baby girl," Zoe smiled, hoping she looked more friendly than intimidating. But then again, this child was fond of her uncle Jayne, so she couldn't be too easily intimidated.

"Who dat?" Hannah asked, sticking a chubby finger into her mouth.

"I'm somebody who loves your daddy a whole lot, Hannah," the woman told the toddler. "An' that means I love you, 'cause you're part of him. You ain't never gonna meet me, not in this life, but I wanted to get a feel for who you're gonna be, so I'll know ya when I meet ya in the next."

"Pretty," Hannah sighed. "Love."

COMMENTS

Friday, December 30, 2005 7:16 PM

SHEPARDGHOST


That was a really great way to tie Zoe in to the story. Great job.

Saturday, December 31, 2005 3:42 PM

NYKEGYRL


Choked up!! I got a teary eyed readin' that!! Good!

Sunday, January 1, 2006 7:34 AM

MISSKITTEN


"Ain't quite so much fun as bein' alive, but I got a whole lot less bullet holes this way."

very nicely said, Zoe. And I especially love that last sceene with Zoe and Hannah :)

Wednesday, January 4, 2006 1:12 PM

BELLONA


"Comin' back to haunt me?" Jayne grinned. "Or is this one o' them naughty dreams what lands me in that special hell the preacher was always talkin' about?"
"What in God's name are you goin' on about, Jayne Cobb?"
"You don't know, I ain't gonna tell ya." He paused. "What's it like to be dead?"
"You don't know, I ain't gonna tell ya," Zoe replied. "An' you best not find out any time soon, neither. I hear you still can't manage to stay out the way of bullets."
"Workin' on it, woman. These things take time."
Zoe smiled. "Somehow I always knew I'd die before I ever had a civilized conversation with you. I guess I don't gotta tell ya to take care of River?"
Jayne shook his head. "No power in the 'verse could stop me."

sorry if that quote was too long, but it was just so damn funny!!!! i could totally see zoe saying the line about civilised conversation...a little comic relief from all the tears...not that i was crying *cough* ahem...

b

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 7:29 PM

ECAMBER


Ok, that last bit with Zoe and Hannah - perfect!

I like symmetry. Sure, not much of it in how we order our lives... but all the more reason I like it when it pops up. That being said, "too neat/tidy" isn't an adjective I'd ever use with this storyline.


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