Title: Not Always What They Seem

Rating: PG – NC17

Synopsis: Simon is kidnapped by the Feds and when Mal and Co. get him back, he’s not quite the same. And the doctor brought aboard to ‘fix’ him causes quite a stir.

Timeframe: Takes place a few months after the movie, Serenity.

Notes: The medical terms used in later chapters are hopefully correct. I looked up as much information as I could. If anyone notices a very glaring error, please let me know and I will correct it.

Disclaimer: This story is not meant to infringe on the copyright of any person or company related to the trademarked characters and situations depicted in the Serenity movie or Firefly series. I make no money from this. OnIy done for fun - and a desperate craving to have more stories told about this wonderful ‘verse Joss Whedon created.

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Prologue

“What was Simon thinking?” Mal swore as he paced the cargo hold. “I should have told him he couldn’t get off the gorram ship.”

“He’s been off the ship lotsa times since Miranda. No ones ever cared before,” Kaylee offered, twisting the end of her hair in an effort to channel her nervousness .

“Yeah, well someone does now.” Mal cocked his gun and turned toward Zoe and Jayne as they readied their own firearms. “We’re too close to a Core world for gorram’s sake! I should have insisted he stay put.”

“So much for that Operative tellin’ ya the truth.” Jayne said as he squinted down the barrel of one before holstering it with a snap and removing another.

“Maybe the Feds don’t have him,” Kaylee offered with a hopeful, shaky smile.

“Then who would?” Jayne asked with a dumfounded look.

“Another bounty hunter? Someone like Jubal Early?” Kaylee knew she was grasping at straws.

“Their names haven’t been removed from the wanted list. Though,” Zoe added, “I noticed there hasn’t been a recent warrant issued for their arrest.” She glanced up at Mal. “The Alliance has more concerns now than finding these two. Despite how they’ve tried to cover up the news from Miranda, factions of the government have split over the news.”

“Lovely. So likely we’re dealin’ with an ungoverned faction of the notably ungoverned union of allied planets?” Mal turned to Kaylee. “Get on the Cortex and find out if there has been any suspicious activity. Monitor all channels.” He flipped a switch on his hand-held communication device and tossed it to Kaylee. “Keep in touch.”

“Too late,” River said as she stood on the top of the stairs gazing down at them. Her eyes were glazed, her mind clearly elsewhere. “It’s too late.”

Chapter 1

The shuttle was as lavishly decorated as usual as Inara switched off the com unit. After deciding to stay on Serenity, she had returned the formerly plain shuttle to its former lavish style. She had to be careful, but she wanted to use some of her contacts to see if she could help in their search for Simon. A chirp behind her indicated that someone was at the door and she stood to go meet whoever was up so late.

“Can’t sleep, ‘Nara,” Kaylee wrapped her arms around herself and took a deep, shaky breath.

Inara wrapped her arms around the distraught woman and led her to the bed. “Sleep here tonight then, mei-mei. Mal and the others will come back with him. You know they will.”

“It’s just - River said - She’s been gettin’ better. Simon said so. And now - now she’s -“

“River is grieving herself right now. I don’t think she is seeing things clearly. As the days have passed, she can’t feel him so strongly, so she thinks something bad has happened.”

Kaylee crawled into the bed and wrapped Simon’s shirt tighter around her body. “It smells like him.”

Inara smiled softly and brushed her hand through Kaylee’s hair. “Mal will bring him back to you.” She knew her voice didn’t sound as confident as she would like, but it was all she could offer in way of comfort.

“I took a sleeper but it didn’t knock me out. I - I don’t want ta think ‘bout what they are doin’ to him.”

Inara rubbed Kaylee’s shoulders as she rested her head on the Companion’s lap. She was fond of Simon and River, in fact, defended them when they’d first arrived. Simon was a strong, determined young man, but she was afraid that wouldn’t be enough to stand up to the torture he was most certainly going to be put through as the feds tried to learn the location of his sister.

“Now what do you think Simon would say if he heard you were self-medicating?”

“He’d yell at me.” Silence fell for a moment before Kaylee continued. “And then he’d pull me into his arms and hold me all night long.”

“He’ll do that again, mei-mei.” Inara wrapped her arms around Kaylee’s shoulders and hugged her tight.

Long moments of silence followed, each woman lost in thought. Kaylee’s voice penetrated the silence, sobbing sadly. “Is the ‘verse so cruel ta give us only a few months together?”

Inara closed her eyes and sighed. The Companion tempered her response. As her own faith wavered, she lied. The answer was one Kaylee would not want to hear. “Mal will find him.”

“I’m so used ta sleepin’ with his arms around me,” Kaylee continued and Inara was grateful she had accepted the answer to her previous question. “Feels odd an all when he’s not there.”

Inara brushed her hand through Kaylee’s hair and the distraught girl lowered her head into the Companion’s lap.

“I miss him so much,” Kaylee sobbed as she closed her eyes. “I’m so afraid.”

“I know, mei-mei,” Inara said softly.

~*~

“No. No. No. No,” Simon’s eyes were glazed as he muttered to himself and he had little strength left with which to fight. “Not right. Must not give - Must -“ His voice trailed off into incoherent mutterings brought about by a heavy dosage of experimental drugs.

After uncounted days of examinations, tests and a series of drug treatments that rivaled those given to his sister, Simon’s grip on reality had become a twisted mess of logic and reverse psychology. He didn’t know what was real any longer. He saw his sister and Kaylee, safe and happy. But it wasn’t, couldn’t be true. His eyes could see but he knew he could not trust them. His mind was playing tricks on him. He couldn’t believe anything it showed him.

The memory of what they had done to his sister was still fresh, and he knew, unless he died during the process, his own mind was going to be turned into a similar playground for government experimentation.

Simon tugged at the straps holding his arms and legs into the chair but it was no use. He didn’t have the strength. He wasn’t sure he could walk on his own anymore.

“I’ve looked at the studies of his sister.” A physician stood over the young man, glancing down at his tense form. “While he doesn’t have the same - gifts, I think we may still be able to work with his mind. He is a brilliant doctor. Highly educated. We can condition him to be an effective -“

“River no!” Simon cried as a blue-gloved hand reached out to inject a milky fluid into his arm.

“He calls out for her. Constantly.” The physician noted, glancing up at screens displaying his patient’s vital signs and brain activity. “Regardless of what we do, what drugs we give him, how much we strain his mind.”

“You will break him.”

Simon’s grip on reality continued to slip and by the time they were done with their current treatment, he was incapable of coherent speech.

~*~

“He’s gone,” River said absently, as they sat at the table. Her eyes were bloodshot and they all well knew she had woken up screaming every night since Simon had been taken. “They made him like me. But he’s not like me.”

If she was dreaming about her brother, she could still feel him. It gave the others hope. Hope that Simon was still alive even though they hadn’t been able to find him.

“Don’ say that,” Kaylee’s hands began to shake and Inara reached over to squeeze them reassuringly.

“We’re going out to investigate another lead.” Mal told them because he thought they should know. But when Kaylee got that excited look in her eye, Mal raised his hand. “Don’t get all hopeful. It’s just a lead. Like all the others we’ve followed over the last week.”

“We need ta find work, too,” Jayne muttered, annoyed that all of their free time had been used to search for the doctor he hadn’t really liked in the first place. “Can’t start eatin’ the ship.”

Zoe joined the captain after strapping her sidearm to her belt. “Your tongue is sharp enough. No need to be filing down your teeth too.”

~*~

Days turned into weeks and the few slim leads they’d had when Simon was first taken slowly dried up. The chances of finding him had turned from slim to none - until a job they’d put on hold since Simon had been taken led them to the other side of the planet. In delivering stolen medical supplies to those in desperate need, their employer divulged that there was an unregistered government run facility that kept its doors tightly closed and its employees well-hidden.

After the job was done, the crew returned to Serenity to discuss their next move.

Zoe placed a bowl in front of River and she hurled it across the room, spraying protein across the flower painted walls, muttering “two by two, hands of blue” like an ancient, nerve-wracking chant.

Jayne launched himself to his feet and clutched his sidearm. He’d taken to arming himself -even while on the ship. Since Simon had been gone, River’s mental state had deteriorated steadily and he didn’t want to find himself at the sharp end of a butcher knife again.

“No!” River grabbed her head and scurried away from the table, pressing herself into the first corner she could find. “Simon!” her bloodcurdling scream echoed off the walls and sent chills of cold terror down the spines of the crew.

Chinese translations for Chapter 1:

Mei-mei - little sister

Chapter 2

The blue-gloved man leaned over Simon Tam and with a calm, cold voice and asked, “Where is your sister?”

Simon stared up at the man, his normally bright, clear blue eyes clouded with d the lingering effects of a medical treatment that would make the most experienced ER staff cringe in disgust. “Gone. Gone. All gone.”

“Not for long.” The man tapped a syringe and injected the clear contents into Simon’s arm.

Pain flickered in Simon’s eyes from the quick burst of a new drug plunging into his system. It burned terribly. But he didn’t cry out - he was too numb, too tired, too battered - his head simply lolled from one side to the other, his eyes closing as the drug began its work. “Safe,” Simon whispered. “Gone.”

The blue-gloved man glanced up at the physician who hurried over to check Simon’s vital signs.

“We are making steady progress.” The physician said as he checked his patient’s brain activity. “He will be ready soon.”

“He must be conditioned to take the stress.”

“Which is why we are making sure his body doesn’t reject any of the stimulants or pressers. It would do no good for him to hemorrhage on the operating table.” The physician glanced nervously at the new syringe the man was preparing. “Going easy on - that, would be a good start.”

“You do your job and I will do mine.”

“If he dies before -“

The blue-gloved man turned cold, calculating eyes on the physician. “It would do your health no good to let him die.”

The physician swallowed nervously. He had worked for this covert branch of the government for a very long time. But he could work here for the rest of his life and he would never feel comfortable around the mysterious blue-gloved men who had more control and power than most members of Parliament.

“You’re wanting us to speed a process that took years to integrate into his sister, we must use some measure of caution.” The physician checked the IV taped to Simon’s bound arm. “I need to do my work. Injecting him with experimental -“

“Just get it done.”

Simon muttered incoherently on the table and the two men glanced down at him before continuing with their work.

~*~

“Are you sure about this?” Jayne scowled as he readied his precious Vera for the battle ahead.

“Ah - No.” Mal shrugged.

“Then what in ruttin’ hell are we doin’ here?”

“Freeing a member of my crew.” Mal peered around the transport they’d - borrowed.

“I don’ remember agreein’ ta give my life for some prissy, Core-bred fugitive when I signed on this boat.“

“Don’t go misunderstandin’ that I’m askin’ ya to.”

“You’re trustin’ those gorram -“

“I trust they provided us with accurate information, yes,” Mal slapped his firearm into a hidden pocket. “We certainly paid them well enough.”

“Yeah. The doc owes us.”

“I’m sure River will be happy to pay any debt you feel her brother may owe.” Zoe slowly raised her gaze to Jayne. “If I were you, I’d pray that payment isn’t in blood.”

Jayne snorted, remembering the last time the crazy girl had gotten upset over something he’d said to her brother. ”Yeah. It’ll be my blood.”

“Exactly.” Zoe cocked her weapon, looking a bit too eager to go on a killing spree. “Let’s do the job, Sir.”

~*~

“River. No. River. River.” Simon sat upright in the chair, muttering the same words over and over. His hair was damp with sweat, his face pale and ashen. His arms were bound at his sides and a strap came across his shoulder blades to keep him from thrashing around too violently.

He shook his head and rocked back and forth, muttering his sister’s name. Moments of clarity were rare but he couldn’t concentrate on any one thing for more than a few seconds. Hours upon hours he’d been strapped there. He’d lost count of the days. He barely remembered who he was anymore.

Memories of his old life rushed through his mind in small snapshots to which he desperately wanted to cling; a life to which he could never return. A life he had given up to save his sister. But the events of his old life were twisted in his mind, punctuated by confusion, pain hissing up his arms as more unknown substances were cruelly injected, his mother’s smiling face as they waved goodbye to River when the transport took her away.

There were dark circles under his eyes as he stared blankly at a spot on the wall. His hair fell over his forehead, shaken loose by his useless struggle.

“He hasn’t given us any information as to her whereabouts.” The physician said as he watched his patient through the two-way mirror.

“He will.”

“I don’t know.” The physician sounded skeptical. “He’s very determined. It doesn’t matter what we do to him. He’s not said a word about her location.”

“Perhaps he doesn’t know.”

“I think he does.” The physician said with confidence. “He just won’t tell us.”

“Exactly.”

The physician glanced at the blue-gloved operatives and shook his head. “I thought River Tam was difficult to break. Her brother is proving to be just as difficult.”

“He is to be transported to our off-world facility immediately.”

The physician nodded. “Preparations are nearly complete. I will supervise his transfer myself.”

“We will meet you there.”

~*~

Two well-armed security guards rolled the gurney through stark white hallways of the government run facility, the physician walking closely behind.

He glanced nervously down at the unconscious Simon, who was tightly strapped to the narrow bed. He hadn’t been the most docile of patients. But with everything they’d done to him over the last few weeks, the doctor didn’t expect Simon to be calm in any sense of the word.

A door to their side opened suddenly and the guards stopped, raising their weapons. The young doctor that appeared in the doorway gasped and raised his hands, afraid they were going to kill him. “What are you doing?” The physician asked the younger man.

“Need help with -“

Simon’s eyes snapped open just as the man tied to a chair inside the room screamed. Simon stared calmly at the patient restrained within the room, his breathing labored and his body trembling. After a moment that seemed to drag on indefinitely, Simon’s body tensed and he pulled at the straps binding him to the bed.

The guards moved to restrain Simon while the doctors turned toward the screaming man tied inside the white-walled room.

The old, grey-haired man now stared at Simon with a clear, calm expression. His eyes pierced the struggling man, sending tendrils of fear along both doctor’s spines.

Simon screamed and the physician pushed the younger doctor into the white-walled room with a curse. He slammed the door shut with a promise to come back and deal with the man’s mistakes later. The irritated physician turned to the guards, “One of you stay here to make sure that Doctor Lieng does not leave that room. I will have words with him when I return.”

One guard immediately took up position outside the door and the other followed the doctor as he continued down the white hallway toward the shuttle platform.

Two more armed guards flanked the ramp of a small shuttle as they approached. The physician breathed a sigh of relief. Having such a high security patient grated on his nerves and he would be glad to be rid of Simon Tam.

The physician and guard moved into the shuttle and they began to secure the patient for transport. “Captain, take off as soon as you are cleared. I have an appointment to keep and I am running short on time.”

“Yes doctor,” came a distinct female voice from in front of him.

The two guards followed him and made quick, precise preparations for takeoff, securing the doors as well as their weapons.

Hearing a commotion behind him, the doctor turned around. The guard who had rolled Simon into the transport was unconscious on the floor, and a very large gun was pointed at his own chest.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The physician demanded as the small transport lifted off.

“Freeing our friend.”

“This can’t be so easy.” Jayne maneuvered the unconscious Simon into a corner of the ship and secured the bed on which he lay. “It was far too easy.”

“Docking with -“ Zoe glanced over her shoulder at the nervous physician then nodded at Mal, who understood his first mate perfectly. “In two minutes.” They would have to be quick if they wanted to escape without anyone noticing where they’d gone.

The only thing they had going for them was the fact that the Alliance, especially this branch, was exceptionally arrogant about their activities. No one got out of these men’s custody. No one but a few select patients that the branch would never admit even existed. After all, a simple trauma surgeon from Osiris’ Capitol City had broken their star pupil out of their most top-secret facility. They would never admit to that. And they weren’t expecting trouble now.

“You won’t get away with this!” The physician said as he reached for an emergency control panel.

Jayne raised his gun and let off one shot.

Mal glared at him as the physician sank lifeless to the floor, blood spreading across his chest.

“What’d you go an do that for?” Mal reached for the physician but was distracted as Simon moaned. “We might’ve needed him.”

“We got a doc. We dun need another.”

Mal rolled his eyes and moved to Simon’s side. He released the straps holding the somewhat-conscious doctor to the bed but instantly regretted it as Simon launched himself up off of the mattress.

Simon stumbled, and shook his head, trying to clear it. His eyes were wide, wild, and he swung at Mal as the older man reached out a hand to steady him.

“What the -“ Jayne muttered as he slung Vera over his shoulder and reached for the flailing doctor’s arms.

“No! River!” He struggled as Jayne held him. “It’s not mine! I don’t want it! Get it out! Get it out!” He sank to the floor of the transport, Jayne still gripping his shoulders tightly.

“He’s real weak. Got no strength at all.” Jayne said as Mal took Simon’s head between his hands and forced the younger man to look into his eyes.

“Simon. Can you hear me? Do you know where you are?”

“No,” Simon whispered, weakening as he pulled frantically at Jayne’s ironclad grip. “Won’t tell you anything. Just kill me.” He would have collapsed from exhaustion had Jayne not been holding him upright.

Jayne exchanged a confused look with Mal as he released his grip. Simon collapsed to the floor, shaking, his incoherent mutterings eerily similar to those of his sister.

After a few moments, Simon pushed himself away from them, clearly in some kind of shock, and wrapped his arms around his bent knees. He stared at Jayne and Mal for a long time, rocking back and forth, muttering in a language neither Mal nor Jayne could understand.

“Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng,” Jayne spat as he released Simon to the floor. “What in hell they do to ‘em?”

Clearly irritated, Mal shot back. “If you hadn’t shot the doctor over there, perhaps we coulda asked.”

Chinese Translations for Chapter 2:

Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng - frog-humping sonofabitch

Chapter

“I’m sorry Gabriel couldn’t join us,” Samantha Gambeson said as she removed her white lab coat and hung it in her office.

“Oh, he’s been busy with work and - I - simply couldn’t decline your invitation.” Regan smiled kindly.

“Ran out of excuses, hmm?” Samantha grinned at her friend.

Regan chuckled sadly. “It’s been too long since I’ve been off world and - well -Gabriel insisted.”

Samantha rested her hand on Regan’s shoulder. “You have an attentive husband who loves and cares for you. It’s good to see.” She could feel Regan tense and wondered if she’d said the wrong thing.

“Oh, that’s not it at all,” Regan shook her head and walked to a large window overlooking the picturesque city. “I think my brooding finally got to him.”

Samantha could see the lines of stress and exhaustion surrounding her old friend’s eyes but was reluctant to bring up a subject that might cause her pain.

“I’ve missed you, Sam,” Regan said after a few moments of silence. She turned around, her eyes wet with unshed tears. “When you left Osiris, I thought I’d lost my best friend.”

Samantha moved beside her friend and regarded her with a kind smile. “Osiris has the best medical facilities in the Core. I wasn’t needed there. I am needed here.”

Regan nodded, and Samantha could see that her mention of Osiris’ medical capabilities had brought back an unpleasant memory. “Besides, Paquin isn’t that far away. And - we have something the great Osiris doesn’t have.” She winked at her friend.

“Oh?” Regan asked, trying to appear interested.

“The best theater in the Core.”

Regan forced a smile to her lips and nodded. “Very true. Gabriel and I used to take trips here for long weekends just to see the shows.”

“We’re going to fit in as many as you can stand while you’re here.”

Regan nodded and an uncomfortable silence fell around them. Samantha returned to her desk to finish marking a patient’s chart and Regan turned to stare out the window once again, her eyes staring at nothing.

“It’s all right,” Regan said, after a few minutes of silence. “I know you want to ask about them.”

“It’s not my place,” Samantha said as finished her work and slipped into a well-tailored jacket.

“As my friend, you have the right to ask - to know what - happened.”

Samantha closed the door to her office and they walked down the hallway. They had plenty of time to reach the theater and she did truly want to know what had happened to her friend’s children. Their disappearance had been very quiet and she had not asked out of respect. But she had seen the warrants issued for their arrest - she was certain every Tam family friend or acquaintance knew. “I’ll listen if you want to tell me.”

As they passed two emergency personnel who looked rather agitated, Samantha and Regan nodded respectfully. They looked as if they were about to speak to her until a younger man, clearly a resident, came hurrying out of the hospital calling Samantha’s name. The men continued walking as the two women turned to address the harried man.

”Doctor Gambeson?”

“Yes?”

Regan glanced up at the evening sky as Samantha provided instructions on how to properly care for one of her terminally ill patients. Only Samantha’s hand on her friend’s arm drew her out of a very unpleasant reverie filled with images of her son and daughter playing on the estate grounds as children.

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking.” Regan offered a half-hearted smile that, once again, didn’t reach her eyes.

“It’s allowed.” They began to walk toward the transportation lanes and Samantha cast a hesitant look at her friend. “So - you wanted to talk about Simon and River?”

“Yes, I - I think I need to -“

The two women were suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled behind a large, covered transport. A brief glimpse of the men revealed that they were the same that had passed them further up the walkway. Large, calloused hands covered their mouths as they were pulled into the vehicle, preventing their screams for help from being noticed.

“We need your help, doctor,” Mal Reynolds knelt in front of Samantha, his eyes full of concern and determination.

“Kidnapping a medical officer is a federal offense that will be -“ Regan began but was cut off by Jayne’s waving a very large gun in front of her eyes.

“He weren’t talkin’ ta you. Be quiet.” “What do you want with us?” Samantha asked, glancing at her captors. She tried to look behind her, but was prevented from doing so by the big man with the gun.

“We need your help.”

“If you think kidnapping -“

Jayne raised his gun and cocked it. “Didn’t I say -“

“Please -“ Samantha extended her hand toward him, her eyes pleading with him not to harm anyone. “I will help you. Just - let Regan go.”

“Sure, sos she can turn ‘round and have the Feds chase us down. Don’t think so, doc.” Jayne growled, lowering his gun.

“Do you have someone who needs medical attention?” Samantha asked, looking around the dark vehicle for someone who might be injured.

“You could say that.” Mal said, being deliberately cryptic.

“Where?”

“You’ll see right shortly. Just sit back and wait til we get there.” Jayne said, clearly annoyed.

The women found nearby seats and strapped themselves in as the shuttle lifted off wondering where they were going and what they would find when they got there.

~*~

“Oh Simon, please, please. You’re safe now. You’re home.” Kaylee held his hand, rubbing it desperately. He was so very pale and his few moments of consciousness were punctuated by screams and inaudible mumblings.

She could recognize River’s name and even hers, but otherwise, his behavior terrifyingly reminded her of how River used to be before he’d begun to treat her. What had they done to him? How could they help him? He was the genious doctor. What happened when the doctor needed doctoring?

Simon muttered in his sleep but she didn’t understand. Mal had insisted on sedating him, insisting he’d not been himself, could be violent if he woke up. River had not yet returned with Inara -having been sent away for her safety when they’d put the rescue plan into action - but they had communicated with the shuttle, which was still at least twelve hours out, that Simon had been found.

Kaylee pressed her lips to his cheek. His skin was cool, but with just the right amount of warmth. He didn’t have a fever. He wasn’t sick - with any visible illness. But she remembered when he’d opened his eyes, when he’d first returned. The hollowness and the genuine fear she’d seen there frightened her.

She heard shuttle 2 return and fervently prayed the Captain had found a doctor who could treat whatever injuries Simon had sustained at the hands of the feds. She kissed him gently and resisted the urge to go meet the shuttle. They would be there as quickly as they could. She didn’t want to leave his side for a minute.

~*~

“Where are you taking us?” Samantha asked as she exited the transport in front of Regan.

“To your patient.”

Jayne and Mal escorted the women to the passenger bunks while Zoe headed toward the bridge.

“If all’s gone well, we should be ready to meet the shuttle at 0900 tomorrow.” Zoe said as she hurried up the metal staircase.

“Well, nothing’s gone right on this little trip so far, what makes you think today’ll be any different?” Mal called up to Zoe.

“He’s a bit - crazy,” Jayne said as they reached the passenger bunks. More to himself, he muttered. “Shoulda tied him to the infirmary chair but we jus’ knocked him out instead.”

“My patient?” Samantha asked, concern lighting her eyes. If this was a mental patient, she wasn’t sure if she was the best person to handle his case. She wasn’t a psychologist.

“Thankfully, not as crazy as his sister - yet. Who knows what the Feds did to him,” Jayne continued. To Samantha he said, “Feds gave him somethin’. Made him all crazy.”

“You’re wanted by the Feds?” Regan said, her eyes widening.

“Nope. Just the patient and his crazy sister.” Mal said as he slid open the door to Simon’s bunk.

The two women stepped inside and stopped short, recognizing the young man who lay before them.

Kaylee glanced expectantly toward them, her eyes full of hope.

“Wuh de tyen, ah." Regan said as she stared at the unconscious form of her son. Regan’s world spun out of control as Samantha, recognizing Simon for who he was, hurried to the young man’s side.

Kaylee moved out of Samantha’s way, as the woman quickly used what medical equipment was at her disposal to diagnose her patient. Kaylee’s eyes darted from Samantha to Regan, confusion spreading across her pretty face.

Mal pushed himself into the room, followed by Jayne, his eyes narrowed, suspicious. “What?” he asked Regan. His head snapped toward Samantha when she whispered Simon’s name, trying to get him to wake.

“I don’t remember tellin’ ya his name.” Mal said, hand moving to the gun strapped to his leg.

“Simon? Can you hear me?” Samantha gently slapped his face. He groaned in response.

“We doped him,” Kaylee said, her eyes sad. “They did somethin’ awful to him. He’s not the same.”

“Who?” Samantha asked, checking quickly for her patient’s vitals.

“Who did something to him?” Regan echoed, moving to Simon’s side.

“The Feds.” Jayne snapped then turned to Mal, “Didn’ we just go over this?”

Mal watched Regan carefully, “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. How do you know -“

“Simon is my son.” Regan said, her voice barely a whisper but every person crammed into the small room heard the startling revelation.

“Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean-jan,” Mal said, clearly shocked by Regan’s response. He didn’t like to be surprised. And he had found himself surprised on far too many occasions since picking up Simon and his crazy sister.

"Jen dao mei!" Jayne hissed, remembering the stories Simon had told them about his parents not believing that River was in danger.

“You -“ Kaylee’s eyes widened as she turned toward Regan. But the Samantha turned to her and asked if there were medical facilities on board.

“Ye-yes,” Kaylee stammered, her eyes still wide as saucers. “I’ll take you.”

Samantha nodded and followed the young girl out of the room, instructing Regan to sit beside her son and speak to him.

“You don’ live anywhere near this planet.” Jayne’s eyes narrowed. “’Les the doc lied to us.”

“I’m here visiting a friend - who you so wisely decided to kidnap tonight.” Regan hurried to her son’s side and sat along the edge of the bed. Her eyes were sad as she took his hand, squeezing gently. “Has he been here this whole time?” She flattened her hand against his cheek, taking in her beloved son’s uncharacteristically disheveled appearance. “Where is River?”

Mal found himself answering, even though he felt he should keep his mouth shut. The pain in this woman’s eyes was evident and he felt sorry for her. “We sent her away with - a, ah, friend - when we broke Simon out of that gorram facility.”

“What did they do to him?” Regan didn’t look up at Mal, simply leaned forward and touched her forehead to her son’s.

“We don’t know.” Mal decided to ask a pointed question of his own. “Why did you abandon your children?”

Mal’s question clearly took Regan off guard but her eyes flashed defensively. “I did no such thing! Simon was talking crazy. Associating with inappropriate people. Getting caught in blackout areas. He talked about a prestigious Academy doing terrible things to his sister. He was destroying our family. Gabriel couldn’t let him do that.”

“They did.”

“What?”

“They did do terrible things to River.”

Regan shook her head in denial. “We all toured the facility. It’s the best in the Core. They could help River with her gifts. Give her the kind of education she deserved. Challenge and stretch her mind -”

“Yah, they did all sorta lovely things to crazy’s brain,” Jayne muttered.

“When Simon wakes up, I’m sure he will tell you all about the help those tyen-sah duh uh-muo gave her.”

Samantha returned with some supplies, which she carefully arranged on the floor beside her. “Kaylee here has told me about his bits of lucidity.” She took a vial and administered a shot to wake her patient.

“If you’re wakin’ him, I don’t think that’s wise.” Mal warned.

“Maybe she should read Simon’s journal?” Kaylee suggested, a hopeful look returning to her eyes. “He kept one when treatin’ River.” She looked down at the man she loved with sad eyes. “Was always writin’ in it. Never understood how he found so much to write ‘bout.“

“His notes on how he treated River’s condition might help me figure out if similar things were done to him,” Samantha said, encouraged. She turned back to her patient as he began to stir.

“Simon?” Kaylee moved closer but hesitated as Samantha and Regan both leaned over him.

Mal reached out and pulled her into his arms, “Stay back mei-mei. He was violent last time he was awake.”

“No! River!” Simon cried and sat upright, his eyes wild as they darted around the room. Glancing down, he noticed his arms were not bound at his sides and he launched himself off the bed - and straight into Jayne’s chest. “I don’t want - No! Don’t -“

Jayne dropped his gun and held Simon tightly as he struggled to get out of the room. Simon continued to scream, continued to try and get away from the ape-man holding him so tightly his pale skin began to bruise.

“Hold him,” Samantha said as she prepared a sedative.

“Dope him already,” Jayne swore beneath his breath. “As much as I’d love to hit him -“

Mal shot the other man a warning glare. “Jayne -“ “I’m not gonna take advantage of his weakened - ow! Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh bun ur-tze!” Jayne backhanded Simon across the face when the much smaller man’s teeth bit down -hard - on his exposed arm.

Simon was hurled across the small room by the force of the impact but he gained his feet immediately, his eyes darting too and from the occupants of the small room. Spying the vials sitting beside the bed, Simon’s intelligent mind worked quickly, trying to find a way out of his incarceration. As he launched himself toward them, Mal reacted faster and pinned him against the nearest wall while Samantha shoved a needle into his arm. Almost immediately, his movements ceased and he slid to the floor.

“Violent,” Samantha panted, her eyes wide as she nodded in Mal’s direction. “Check.”

“Tol’ ya,” Jayne snarled, clutching his bleeding arm.

Chinese translations for Chapter 3

“Wuh de tyen, ah” - dear god in heaven Tzao-gao! - Damn it! Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean-jan - Oh, this is a happy development... Jen dao mei!- Just our luck! Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh bun ur-tze - Stupid son of a drooling whore and a monkey.

Chapter 4

“So River is not here with him?” Regan sat at the edge of the bed, absently brushing her fingers through her son’s damp hair.

“We sent her away with a friend when we went ta break him out,” Mal folded his arms as he spoke. “If we failed, we didn’t want the Feds to be able to trace her location back here through us.” The stories Simon had told them were either clearly false, or some change had come over his mother since her children had been gone. She was not the blind, unconcerned parent Simon had made her out to be.

Jayne leaned against the open doorframe, clutching Vera, while Mal, Kaylee, Samantha and Regan sat in various locations around the small room.

Regan nodded, seemingly accepting the Captain’s answer.

Samantha drew some blood and turned to the Captain. “I would like to test this. Perhaps I can determine what medications he has been given.”

Mal nodded to Jayne and the two headed to the infirmary while Regan simply stared at her unconscious son.

“You love them, don’t ya?” Kaylee’s voice was sad. She and Simon had spoken at length recently about how abandoned and alone he’d felt when his parents wouldn’t help him. He’d seemed reassured that she was now there for him. That he could fall asleep in her arms feeling safe and loved.

“I’ve never stopped.”

Never one to beat around the bush, Kaylee bluntly asked, “why didn’t ya help ‘em, then?”

“It’s - we didn’t know. We - it’s terribly complicated.” She trailed her hand along Simon’s cheek, marveling at how young he looked while asleep.

“I don’t see howso.” Mal said with a shrug. “Your kids in trouble and ya help ‘em. Nothin’ complicated ‘bout that.”

“We didn’t believe - we thought Simon just missed his sister.” Regan turned sad eyes on Kaylee and Mal. “They’ve been so very close since they were children.”

“Shoulda tol’ ya somethin’ about ‘em then.”

Regan nodded, but continued as if a floodgate on her emotions had opened and she could finally speak about everything that had happened. Gabriel didn’t like to discuss it. He kept everything inside. She’d never even had a chance to grieve for the children she’d lost.

“Simon was so obsessed with finding her. He was caught in blackout zones, he wasn’t behaving properly at the hospital. It was damaging his career. We - people - thought he was going crazy.”

“He’s the most sane man I know.” Mal admitted with a glance toward the bed. “His sister, on the other hand - is a bit - odd.“

“He gave up everything for River,” Kaylee said sadly as she looked down at Simon. The memories of simply lying beside him and watching him sleep, causing tears to well in her eyes. “He had everythin’ a person could want. But he gave it all up.” A tear slipped down her cheek she remembered the hurt and abandoned look in his eyes that night. She knew it had taken a lot for him to drop his carefully constructed barriers, but she had simply held him, and whispered assurances that he was not alone. She would always be with him, always be there for him.

Regan nodded slowly, her carefully composed control slipping. A tear marked a solitary path down her cheek and she made no move to wipe it away. When she looked up, Kaylee was moved by the raw emotion radiating from the older woman’s eyes.

“Can you tell me what’s happened since -“ Regan looked at her son, so innocent and small in the bed beside her.

Mal nodded and told her how Simon had come to join them on Serenity, with Kaylee filling in the gaps with some cheerful bits. The mechanic’s bubbly personality radiated brightly throughout the melancholy room. Simon had been given back to them - to her. Even if he wasn’t quite normal right now, he was back. And he would get better.

Regan chuckled at Kaylee’s account of some of the more improper - to her mind - things her son had done over the last year. It was clear the girl cared for her son, perhaps more than she realized. Regan pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She would ask later. When Simon was better.

Samantha returned a few moments later, a concerned look on her face as she glanced at the still sleeping Simon.

“What is it?” Regan asked, worry creasing her pale features.

“He’s got a multitude of unidentifiable drugs in his system. I’ve started tests to try to identify them, but it will take a few hours.”

“We’re not goin’ anywhere.” Mal said.

“Will there be any lasting damage?” Regan asked, her fingers tightening around her son’s.

“I don’t know,” Samantha admitted with a sigh. “It is likely he has a few rough days ahead of him.”

Fear twisted her insides, as Kaylee asked, “What that mean?”

“Well,” Samantha took Simon’s temperature and his vitals. “As the drugs leave his system, he is likely to have a period of withdrawal.”

“Like comin’ down from bein’ high on drops?”

‘Yes.”

“Couldn’t that kill him?” Regan asked. She knew children, and even grown adults, died every day from overdoses of narcotics like drops.

“Unlikely. The medication currently in his system have been there for a good long while. If they were going to kill him, they would have done so when first administered.” She favored each of them with a sad look. “The next few days are going to be very rough on him.”

~*~

“Did they do somethin’ to his brain?” Jayne asked as he held Simon down for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

Kaylee’s cheeks were wet with tears and she helplessly watched while Samantha shoved yet another needle into his arm to try and calm his hysteria.

Every time Regan tried to get near her son, he would mutter sadly about trust and love, before covering his head, convinced she was simply a figment of his imagination.

“I don’t know.” Samantha sat back on her haunches and exhaled a breath of relief as Simon quieted. “I don’t have the equipment here to find out.”

“What do you need?” Mal asked, resting his arm gently around Kaylee’s shoulders.

“Well, a neuro imager would be useful.” After reading portions of the journal Simon had kept for his treatment of River, she had a very bad feeling about what they could have done to him. Perhaps an internal scan could get to the root of his hysteria.

“That shows a pic a the body, right?” Jayne asked.

“Yes.” Samantha answered with a slight tinge of awe in her voice. How would such an uneducated man -

“We got Simon to one a those sos he could check out his sister.”

Samantha’s eyes widened. “Where? How?”

“Simon tol’ us how ta get inta the hospital on Ariel City and -“

“Lao tyen yeh. I heard about that. It was all over the Cortex for weeks. Security in our own hospital was stepped up because of all of the medication that went missing.”

Jayne puffed out his chest proudly. “Yup. We did that.”

“He’s not getting better, is he?” Regan asked, moving to sit beside her son. He was quiet now, but his breathing was still elevated.

Samantha sighed. “It’s only been twelve hours. It can take a week or more to recover from drug dependency. And he has more than just one type in his system and they are acting like the most powerful narcotics ever manufactured. Some of these I can’t even identify, and some I know to be experimental; a dangerous combination. I just don’t feel comfortable administering a smoother for one, without adversely affecting the combination already in his system. I don’t want to keep him sedated. I need to be able to monitor him, see if they’ve done something other than inject unapproved drugs into his bloodstream. His reaction to different stimuli will allow me to do that.”

Jayne shook his head, thoroughly confused. “How ‘bout speakin’ sos the rest of us can understand.”

Samantha wasn’t sure if she could explain it in simpler terms, but she tried. “If I give him a commonly used smoother to combat one of the drugs in his system, it is likely it will combine dangerously with one of the others already there.”

“So he could die?” Regan understood perfectly, wishing she didn’t.

“If I choose the wrong combination.” She sighed. “Yes. He could.” She glanced down at her patient one more time before moving to the door. “I’ll keep reading through the journal he kept while treating River and maybe that will give me some idea of how to treat him.”

Zoe’s voice crackled over the intercom. “Captain. Shuttle One incoming.”

Regan’s eyes lit and she whispered, “River.”

Chinese Translations for Chapter 4:

mei-mei - little sister Lao tyen yeh - Jesus

Chapter 5

Mal motioned to Kaylee to join him and then pointed at Jayne. “Stay.”

Jayne nodded, glancing down at the unconscious Simon. “I don’ think he’s goin’ anywhere.”

“No one is until we get back,” Mal shifted his eyes to Regan and Samantha. Just because these two women knew and cared for Simon, didn’t mean he was going to let them alone for a moment.

Jayne nodded and moved stand in front of the door, cradling Vera to his chest.

By the time Kaylee and Mal reached the shuttle, the passengers had disembarked and River was hurrying along the catwalk toward the bunks.

“Simon,” was all she said as she tried to run past them.

Mal caught her by the arm and whirled her around to face him, his face serious. “Wait lil’ Alba -“

“He needs me!” River tugged her arm out of his grasp and disappeared around the corner, Kaylee following at her heels.

“Yes but we need to -“ Mal tried to grab her again but she was too quick. “Tzao-gao!” Mal swore and hurried after her.

Inara kept at his back, breathlessly saying, “She’s done nothing but mutter his name for hours.”

“Yeah, he’s been doin’ the same.”

“Simon!” River burst into her brother’s room and knelt at his side. Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked, salty tears running down her smooth cheeks. She lowered her forehead to his, whimpering, then she lay her head next to his on the bed and put her arm around him. She had yet to notice anyone else standing in the small room.

“Not like me. Can’t be. You protect me. You’ve always protected me. Can’t leave. Happy now. “ The words flew out of her mouth as she cupped his face in her small hands, pleading with her brother not to give in to the horrors she knew were trampling through his intelligent mind. She couldn’t read him like she used to, couldn’t sense him like she could the others and that scared her.

Samantha exchanged a confused look with Regan, who simply stood watching her daughter plead with her son to come back from whatever darkness held his mind in its iron grip. It was clear as River whispered to Simon, that she was not the same carefree, energetic girl that either woman had known. She was different.

Jayne, Mal, Kaylee and Inara simply stood and watched silently, waiting, wondering if the crazy girl would be able to bring her brother back from whatever horrors his drugged mind had conjured.

After many long minutes, River raised her head and took a deep, shuddering breath. With an agonizing slowness, she turned around and stared into her mother’s eyes.

For a long moment, the only thing that could be heard in the small room was the frantic beating of so many hearts.

Remembering the Miranda incident, Mal hoped that River wouldn’t go for her mother’s throat. He had no delusions that neither he nor Jayne would be able to stop her if she was intent on murder.

River’s mouth moved but no sound came out as dumb surprise registered across her face. “Momma?” She asked in a small voice, her fingers clutching her brother’s hand. She looked for a moment as if she would launch herself into her mother’s arms, but her eyes flashed and she said simply, “I didn’t hear you. Only heard Simon.”

Regan glanced at Mal, confused.

“Can hear you now.” She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. “Very loud.”

Regan blinked, comprehension slowly dawning across her face.

“She’s a reader.” Samantha took a step back, watching River carefully.

“Oh, fail to mention that, did we?” Mal asked with a flippant shrug.

River’s eyes slid open and she shifted her gaze to Samantha. “You try to help him. But you won’t. He’s gone. Lost. Needs to find his way home.”

“Can you - help him?” Samantha asked slowly. She knew the nervousness was showing on her face. She had never met a reader. They were simply not common among the population of any world. She’d heard the rumors that every reader had undergone serious medical treatment to give them their enhanced abilities and that information alone made her wary of them.

“I will take care of him like he always takes care of me.” River walked over to Kaylee and took her hands. “We will take care of him.”

Samantha and Regan stepped back as Kaylee let River pull her to the bed. “We can help him. You and me. Sisters.”

Kaylee’s bottom lip trembled. She and River had become so very close. Easy friends. Much faster than she and Simon. She almost did consider the crazy girl her sister.

River smiled, hearing Kaylee’s thoughts. “Loves you. Wants to marry you.” She shook her head, glancing down at her brother. “But he’s afraid. Afraid he can’t provide for you. Give you everything he wants to.”

“I only want him,” Kaylee lovingly touched Simon’s face.

“I know. He knows. Doesn’t believe. Chivalry. Respect. Propriety. Stupid brother. He’s such a boob.”

Kaylee giggled despite herself.

“Yes. Happy thoughts. He needs those. Needs to feel them.” River’s eyes narrowed as she stared at her brother. “He’s falling. Can’t stand on his own. Needs help - He knows.” River shifted her eyes to the wall, her breathing coming in short gasps. “He - knows. Doesn’t want it. Shouldn’t have to carry it. It’s not his.”

“We’ll help him. I’m trying,” Samantha said softly, desperately. “If I only knew how -“

River turned on the doctor. “He saved me.” She picked up her brother’s journal and hurled it against the wall. “Useless. Won’t save him.” She dropped her forehead to Simon’s. She repeatedly muttered fragmented words, phrases that made no sense, reminding the crew of the frightened, crazier girl she had been months before.

~*~

Simon’s screams echoed through the ship as he woke, a vicious nightmare gripping his heart and squeezing the very air out of his lungs. He panted desperately for air, his body tangled so tightly in the blankets that he thought he was strapped to the bed.

“Tyen shiao duh!” Jayne swore as he slid open the door, blinking sleep out of his eyes. “What is going on in here?!” He cradled Vera in his arms as if the weapon was a swaddling infant. “Ain’t he better yet?!”

“It would appear - not.” Mal narrowed his eyes at Samantha as she hurried to prep a sedative that she hoped would calm her patient.

“Squirmy little one ain’t ‘e?” Jayne said smugly to Mal, quite pleased not to have Simon duty tonight.

“I noticed,” Mal grumbled as Samantha pressed another needle to Simon’s arm.

When he wasn’t muttering incoherent words only River understood, he trembled so violently, they thought he was having a seizure - which wouldn’t have been uncommon given the sheer amount of drugs in his system.

Mal, yet again, pinned Simon to the bed so he didn’t hurt himself - or anyone else. After being oddly surprised at the sheer strength in Simon’s lithe body, he’d banished the thought that such firm pressure on his arms could hurt the younger man.

Jayne glanced at Kaylee with a short chuckle. “Ain’t this your job now? Pinning him to the bed?”

Samantha and Regan exchanged a curiously shocked and disgusted look. But Kaylee remained silent, watching Simon with wide, horrified eyes.

Jayne laughed at the silence that followed, adding, “Eh, I’m sure they take turns.”

“I’m sure you’d just love to know.” Mal grunted as Simon continued to struggle, showing signs of weakening as the sedative worked its way into his bloodstream.

Not one to hide his interest in sex, Jayne shrugged, “Well - sure. He’s gotta be real good ta keep our lil’ Kaylee satisfied.”

Samantha shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing. Was this big brute so crass as to discuss - were they really discussing her patient’s sex life in front of her? She bit back a groan of disgust. “As entertaining as you two apparently find Simon’s - life, please refrain from discussing it in front of us.” Samantha prepped another syringe and injected it into his arm.

“Yes,” Regan breathed, trying to regain her composure after hearing that very improper conversation. She was certain she didn’t want to hear anything about who her son was bedding. “Please.”

Jayne frowned. He was tired of all these proper, Core-bred people comin’ on his boat and makin’ him feel all dirty and uneducated.

River turned to him, hearing his thoughts. “You are.”

Regan and Samatha stared at her for a long moment, wondering, trying to understand. The others just ignored her. They’d long given up trying to understand River’s disjointed mutterings.

“Detoxing the drugs from his system is causing this behavior. It will, unfortunately, only get worse.”

“Worse?” Mal groaned.

“This is pretty worse,” Jayne added, eyes narrowing.

“I don’t understand. The propoxin should have kept him under for much longer.” Samantha shook her head, trying to understand. “It must be a combination of the other drugs in his system. He’s not responding well to the sedative.”

Simon, having quieted down for a few moments, began to mutter beneath his breath, his body tense, his hands clenched into fists. It took several very long minutes before the sedative took affect.

Samantha picked up the chart on which she’d been documenting his treatment. “I’ve tried Methadone and Naltrexone and they haven’t done a thing.” She glanced up, noticing the blank looks on the faces around her and explained, “They’re the drugs commonly used to treat narcotic dependence.” She pushed a hand through her hair, agitated that she hadn’t been able to help her patient as much as she hoped. “I’ll have to try something else.”

“If nothing works?” Mal asked.

“The toxins in his blood will dissipate - eventually. The longer he remains so agitated, his heart is at risk. He’s young and strong but we don’t know what kind of vigorous treatment they put him through. The toxins in his blood could overload his normal liver and kidney functions, perhaps damaging them permanently. I’m trying to push the toxin’s out, but the dosages in his blood were so high, it’s taking far longer than I hoped.”

~*~

Hours later, the crew had still gotten little sleep. With Mal and Jayne being the only ones strong enough to keep Simon from getting out of bed and hurting himself or anyone else, they had taken shifts watching him - and the lack of sleep was taking its toll.

River flat refused to leave Simon and Samantha had insisted she be there around the clock to monitor her patient so blankets, pillows and mattresses had been piled on the floor beside the bed. Fortunately, Simon’s room was one of the doubles in the passenger dorms, having moved into the larger one when Kaylee had had begun sharing his bed.

Kaylee fixed the next room for Regan and even slept in the passenger bunks herself in an effort to be closer to Simon. She would have preferred to be in the room with him, but there were enough complications right now. She didn’t need to add to them.

“Lucky we just finished a job that paid well,” Jayne said as he brought Mal a plate of food. “Otherwise, we’d be starvin’ an’ -“

“I can pay you,” Regan said from behind him. She looked from Mal, to Jayne to Kaylee. “I can pay you all for looking after my children. Keeping them safe.”

“We don’ need your money,” Mal said with an air of disgust. “Simon’s earned his passage as our medic.”

The annoyed look on Jayne’s face as Mal declined was evident which only encouraged Regan. “I will pay you anyway - when we reach -“ She looked at Mal. “Where are we going?”

“No destination at the moment.”

“Well, when next we land, I will withdraw any amount you need.”

“Doubtful the banks on the worlds we frequent are connected to your accounts.”

Regan exchanged a look with Samantha. “We’re not -“

“You know too much about us,” Jayne stroked Vera as gently as a man would stroke a woman. “Not thinkin’ we’re gonna drop ya off so’s you can go straight to the authorities, are ya?”

“Do you think I would turn in my own children?” Regan asked, aghast.

“You didn’t know.” River said, patting her mother on the arm. “But you didn’t believe either. Thought Simon was crazy. Thought he just missed me. I missed him. He could feel it. He didn’t know. He didn’t understand.“

“Know what, River?” Samantha felt the girl had just given her a bit of unforeseen insight into what was going on in her, and possibly Simon’s, mind.

“Understand what?” Regan asked, confused.

River tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “He could hear me calling to him. Calling for help. And he came for me.”

No one understood and River was clearly irritated until Samantha’s gaze shifted from Simon to his sister, realization dawning as her eyes widened. River turned to the doctor and patted her hand. “Understand now.”

“He’s telepathic.”

The collective gasp and emotional shock that rolled through the room buffeted River’s mind so strongly that she visibly staggered from the blow.

Kaylee’s eyes widened as she stared down at Simon. Was that possible? Could he -? Is that how he knew how to - She felt her cheeks warm at the thought.

River closed her eyes and clenched her fists, trying to shut out the voices suddenly screaming in her mind.

Regan stared at her son, disbelief crossing her refined features. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. He’d never shown any signs. She whimpered as the guilt over abandoning her children rent her heart into tiny pieces.

“A guay,” Mal muttered, shaking his head.

“Ta ma duh!” Jayne groaned.

River simply smiled at them in a slightly disturbed, deranged sort of way.

Chinese translations for Chapter 5:

Tzao-gao! - Damn it! tyen shiao duh - name of all that’s sacred guay - hell Ta ma duh! - fuck me blind

Chapter 6

“This isn’t possible. We would have known.” Regan shook her head, simply unable to believe what she was hearing.

“Not like me though. They didn’t hurt him enough. Teach him enough. Only feels some things. Not much.” She crawled onto the other side of the bed and laid her head on Simon’s shoulder. “But he could hear me calling for help. He came for me. He knew.”

Samantha exchanged a sad look with Regan, who again closed her eyes against the pain her children had endured.

“River?” Samantha knelt beside the bed. “Are you saying you projected your thoughts to Simon from the Academy?”

River nodded.

"Lao tyen yeh." Samantha shook her head. “Could you always do this? Before you left?”

River made a face. “Of course not. They made me. But – I always knew things. Knew what girls he liked. He hated that.”

“River and Simon always had a special bond. We thought it was just a strong intuitive sibling connection.” Regan said quietly. “She was so lost when Simon was in school studying for his degree. And he was lost when she left for the Academy.”

“Not lost. Lonely.” River wrapped her arm around Simon’s chest and hugged him tightly. “He protects me. I protect him.”

“Great, now we got two a ‘em,” Jayne muttered stepped out of the room and began to pace.

River watched her brother’s face intently. “Not two. Just one. He will get better. I won’t.”

“Don’t say that,” Kaylee spoke for the first time since River’s revelation. “Simon’s done real good tryin’ to help ya.”

River smiled brightly at her - sister. “Good doctor. Always helping, saving. Made to help.” She lowered her head to look at her brother. “I was made to kill.”

“Only by those hwoon dahn at the Academy,” Kaylee insisted and they all glanced down as Simon started to stir.

Samantha stared at her patient. “I gave him enough propoxin to keep him out for hours.”

“Body rejects it.” River said as she flattened her hand along his cheek. “Doesn’t work.”

“I need to find another sedative that will, then.”

“No.” River said, staring at Samantha. “Mixing drugs is bad. Will hurt him.”

“What?” The doctor regarded River with a curious look. “He’s too violent. If I don’t keep him sedated, he -“

“ - needs to see love.” River said simply. “Feel that he is loved. That he matters.”

“What he needs to see are the inside of his eyelids until those drugs makin’ him nutty wear off.” Mal said sharply, a warning look in his eyes.

River stared at the Captain. “I’m - nutty. I’m not asleep.”

“Yeah, little albatross, but we’re used to yer kinda nutty.”

“No. Not mine.” Simon whispered, waking slowly from a nightmare and River cupped his cheek with her hand. “Don’t want it. Don’t - It’s there. Not dead.“

Samantha hurried to find another more powerful sedative while Mal took a step closer to restrain Simon if he turned violent.

“Don’t give it to me.” Simon said weakly. Tears filled his eyes and he cradled his head in his hands as River spoke in soft whispers.

Simon suddenly turned lucid eyes on his sister. “We used it up, they said.” Simon shook his head, “But they lied. It’s not gone. It’s there. You see it.”

“What is he babbling about?” Jayne asked from where he stood in the hallway.

“No!” Simon breathed and jerked as if he’d been shot. “Don’t kill the - don’t give –I don’t want to see –“

River took his head in her hands pressed her cheek to his, whispering something no one could understand. After a few moments, he calmed and simply lay there, unmoving, looking up at his sister, his breath coming in short, heavy pants.

“Kaylee.” River extended her hand in a request for her sister to come forward.

Kaylee’s face was marred with tears but at River’s insistence, she sat beside Simon on the bed and took his hand.

“Kiss him.”

Surprised registered on her face. “What?”

“I told him you would kiss him. He feels safe in your arms. Loved. Home.”

Jayne popped his head in through the open door. “That’s what got him to quit his screamin’?!” River ignored him and leaned against the wall to give Kaylee the room she needed.

Simon’s eyes were open but staring at something intently on the ceiling. But when Kaylee slid her hands along his cheek to cup the side of his face, his eyes shifted to her, a look of confusion mixed with sadness crossing his handsome face.

“Simon?” Kaylee’s voice shook with emotion.

Simon trembled at her touch but he stared into her wide, tear-filled eyes, his own filling with love and compassion as he looked at her.

“No - don’t cry.“ He reached up to wipe a tear from her cheek. “I - can’t -“ He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “I - I see it. I see -”

“Tell him you love him.” River said to Kaylee, her eyes bright.

Kaylee’s world froze as she glanced up at River’s smiling face. She had never told Simon she loved him. She did, of course. She couldn’t remember the exact time her interest in him had turned from lust to love, but it was there, tugging at her heart and bringing tears to her eyes. She had never said the words. Fleetingly, she lamented that she didn’t really want that first time to be in a room full of people.

River continued to insist. “He loves you. Too stubborn to say it. Too worried. Thinks too much. Needs to do more, think less.” She shook her head, glancing at her brother. “He’s such a boob.”

River’s string of oddly coherent speech brought a tentative smile to Kaylee’s lips. She leaned down and pressed her cheek against his. “Oh, Simon. I do love you. So much. Ya fixed River up all good and now we -“ Kaylee pulled away slightly to look down at him and she was surprised to see him smile.

“Love you,” he whispered, his eyes clearing, his voice soft and weak. They’d been officially together for just a few months, since Miranda, and though it was easy for anyone looking at them to see their relationship had progressed further than just simple sex, neither had ever before said the words. It was odd, in this circumstance, to hear him say them now. Simon’s eyes crossed for a moment. “I don’t want it.” His voice was steady and slightly detached which made Kaylee’s heart sink to her toes.

“Your memory.” River stared down at her brother. “Tell them.”

Simon shook his head as if denying there was anything to say. His face was damp as were his clothes and he began to tremble.

Kaylee was at a loss. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t understand. She just wanted his pain to go away. She just sat beside him and let the tears flow down her cheeks.

“Simon? I want to take some blood, all right?” Samantha said, approaching him slowly. She spoke in a slow, soothing voice as she lowered her hand to his exposed arm. “Can you let me do that?”

Simon flinched but as soon as Kaylee squeezed his hand, he calmed and gazed adoringly at her, his cloudy eyes closing.

~*~

The next day, Simon was sick - dreadfully so. The onset of chills shook him to the very core and his hair and clothes were drenched with sweat. He was more coherent now and far less violent but that just made the exhausting sickness more painful to witness.

Kaylee and Regan sat with him, refusing to leave his side, while Samantha sat back and recorded in her journal - or, rather, Simon’s journal - every treatment she had administered. He was getting better, the foreign drugs purging themselves from his system as the hours passed.

She’d given River a sedative to make her sleep and Samantha had discovered a newfound respect for what Simon had been trying to accomplish. His sister was clearly a very disturbed girl, especially when it came to her brother’s health. She would appear normal, slightly detached one moment and then highly hysterical the next.

“C’mon, Simon, ya havta eat.” Kaylee pressed the spoon to his lips but he weakly brushed her hand away.

He hadn’t said much, but his eyes had spoken volumes. They were haunted, the energy behind them diminished in some unfathomable way. He recognized his mother but was far too sick to question why she was there - if there had been words spoken, Kaylee hadn’t been there to hear them. But, his inability to keep anything down started to worry her, and to a lesser extent, his mother, who knew and understood all too well what was happening.

“He’s going through withdrawal,” Samantha explained again as Kaylee once again lay a wet cloth across Simon’s forehead.

“How longs it last?” Kaylee asked, her worried eyes scanning Simon’s pale, sweat-covered face. “It’s been so long.”

“Not much longer - I hope. But the traditional drugs used to help remove narcotics from ones system don’t seem to be working properly. This could last a week or longer.“

“A week.” Kaylee’s eyes filled with tears. It was so terribly hard to see him like this, so helpless and in pain.

“I’m sure they didn’t give him narcotics.” Regan held Simon’s hand. Her heart broke for the child she felt she had abandoned to this fugitive life. It hurt her more than words could say to see the mistreatment he had suffered at the hands of the Feds.

“Not in the strictest sense, no.” Samantha leaned down to take Simon’s vitals. “But the combination of drugs in his system is causing the same affect as if he’d been taking drops.”

“He won’t - ya know, die from it, will he?” Kaylee asked, her voice trembling. She carefully dabbed at Simon’s face with the cool cloth.

“Rarely does someone die from detoxification.” Samantha glanced over the stabilizing vitals.

“But it does happen,” Regan could see through what her friend had not said.

“I don’t know every drug they used, and therefore I don’t know its effects on the body.” Samantha sat back into a chair and began to add to another journal entry. “So - it could. But I am optimistic that Simon is healthy enough that there will be no lasting effects from whatever treatment he underwent.”

Regan carefully watched Kaylee’s face as she whispered to Simon, the care with which she wiped his face, and the adoration in her eyes. A small smile crossed her face. “You do love my son, don’t you?”

Kaylee looked down at Simon for a moment, as if contemplating the answer. She wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about this with his mother, they’d only just met, but she found herself answering “yes” in a soft voice before she could stop herself.

Regan nodded slowly, recognizing the honest answer for what it was. Kaylee was not the kind of girl she imagined her son choosing to share his life with, but, in the past year, he had obviously changed. Circumstance and experience had changed him - for the better, Regan suspected. She couldn’t wait to meet this new son. He would recover. She - and Kaylee - would make sure of it.

Kaylee flattened her hand against the side of Simon’s face as he groaned. She leaned down and pressed her lips to his temple, whispering, “Oh honey, you’ll be right as rain in no time. Yer momma’s here. She’s missed you so. An’ River - yer makin’ her crazy bein’ so sick. An’ I - I don’ know what ta do ta help ya. But I will. I’ll do anythin’.”

“How about we take turns?” Regan suggested as she handed Kaylee a basin and a dry towel. They were both exhausted and needed rest. As much as she wanted to stay and hold her son as if he was still that little boy who came crying to her whenever he had hurt himself, she knew she needed to let him go. “You stay for a few hours and then I’ll be back to take over. We won’t tire ourselves out too much that way.”

Kaylee nodded and made no move to get up from where she lay beside Simon on the bed that they shared.

Regan stood and took a deep breath. “I will return in a few hours.”

~*~

“Kaylee?” Simon turned weary eyes on the girl lying asleep on the bed beside him.

When she heard his voice, Kaylee lifted her head and smiled brightly. “Simon!” She hugged him tightly, but he groaned and she pulled away, not understanding. She tried to mask the hurt in her eyes.

“Don’t feel so good,” Simon muttered as he rolled over into a fetal position away from her. Spotting the basin sitting on a table beside the bed, he reached out a trembling hand for it.

Kaylee quickly got off the bed to wet the towel, while Simon lost the liquid contents of his stomach once again. He hadn’t kept anything down while she’d been there, and she knew he hadn’t kept anything down during his mother’s shift either.

“Oh, honey.” Kaylee took the basin from his shaking hands and set it aside. When she pressed the cold cloth to his face and forehead, he trembled, drawing the blanket up to his neck.

“This - is why one should - never take -“ He reached for the basin again.

Kaylee wiped his face, and brushed her fingers through his damp hair. It fell over his eyes as he leaned weakly back into the mattress having expelled what little remained in his stomach.

“ - barbituates,” he breathed.

Samantha entered then, Regan at her heels.

“Simon, good to see you awake.”

Simon turned glassy eyes on the familiar looking woman and then closed them again. “I’d rather be unconscious.”

Samantha nodded in understanding. “Detox is not an enjoyable experience.”

The only answer she received was a muffled groan.

River swept into the room and smiled brightly. She bent and kissed her brother’s cheek, sing-songing, “Getting better.”

Simon narrowed his eyes at her. “Your - cheerfulness - disturbs me.” He trembled and River tucked the blankets around him, letting her hand linger on his cheek for a moment.

“Poster child for drops. Never take them. Very bad.” River nodded at everyone in the room before backing away to let Samantha take his temperature.

Simon rolled his head weakly toward his sister. “Thank you.” He breathed, the nausea returning. “I would - never have known.” His attempt at sarcasm left a smile on everyone’s lips. He was getting better. It would just take a bit more time.

River’s eyes widened for a moment before narrowing in concern. There was something - something at work here she could not understand. For the first time, her brother’s thoughts were not easy to read. They were clouded - blocked.

“How’s the patient today?” Mal stood in the doorway, his voice booming into the room.

Simon groaned and draped an arm over his eyes, trying to shut out the light and sound.

Mal raised an eyebrow and turned toward Samantha, impatient for an answer.

“He’s doing better. What he’s feeling now is a common in those recovering from a drug dependency.”

“Last long?” Mal asked, his eyes lingering on Kaylee wiping Simon’s face.

“Long enough,” Simon answered from the bed, his voice strained, as Regan held the basin for her son.

Mal winced at the pained tone and disgust crossed his handsome face. “Well, ain’t you a picture a health.” He left quickly, River on his heels.

Mal noticed her distraction and asked, “What is it, little Albatross?” as they walked toward the cockpit. “Makin’ your own self sick watchin’ that?”

River nodded and said simply. “He is sick.”

Mal let a snort of laughter slip through his lips. “Well now that’s obvious.”

River sat in the co-pilots chair and drew her knees up to her chest. She stared out into the black, her heart heavy. “Very sick.” She muttered as she wrapped her arms around her knees and trembled.

Chinese Translations for Chapter 6

"Lao tyen yeh."- Jesus “hwoon dahn”- bastard

Chapter 7

The next day, Simon was able to sit up in his bed and sip some soup. He didn’t remember much of the last few days. In fact, he didn’t remember anything of the last few weeks except some terrifyingly real memories of pain so intense he didn’t understand how he was still alive. The fragmented images that had plagued his nightmares seemed to have faded for the most part, leaving him wondering if he’d had them in the first place.

Despite his disheveled appearance, disgust at his appearance warred with his need to eat and he decided that he would eat first and then shower later. Maybe if he ate first he would be strong enough to shower alone.

Regan sat with her son as he ate, watching him carefully, offering very little in the way of conversation until he’d finally broken the silence and asked how she’d come to be on Serenity. She told him the simple story while he continued to eat.

After some more awkward silence, she added, “I expect the Captain will want us to leave soon.”

Simon nodded, truly unsure of what to say. He felt betrayed by his parents, but the concern plainly etched onto his mother’s face clearly indicated that she loved and cared for him. And Kaylee’s praise of the woman and her dedication had warmed his opinion of the mother he’d thought had abandoned him.

River entered without knocking and the two looked at her smiling face, grateful for the interruption. She turned to Simon, clucking her tongue. “She didn’t know. No one knew. Took me and didn’t tell them why.” She sat next to her brother on the bed and took his hand. “Only you knew. Knew what I was trying to tell you.” She cocked her head and regarded him with a mildly disgusted look. “You need a shower.” Then she stood and walked out leaving the two occupants staring after her.

Simon shot an annoyed look at her back, muttering ‘she’s such a brat’ while his mother tried to hide a smile at his typical big brotherly observation. But then the sadness crept into her eyes and she sighed.

“She’s different now,” Regan observed, lowering her eyes.

“They did terrible things to her at the Academy. I haven’t been able to help her much. Not really.” Simon sipped his soup. The ice had been broken thanks to River and he felt an obligation to tell his mother just how difficult life had been trying to fix her and keep themselves hidden from the Alliance. And he’d had to do it without the support of his own family.

Regan couldn’t keep the tears from dripping down her cheeks as Simon spoke. “I’m sorry, Simon,” she sobbed after he’d finished. “We didn’t know. We - we should have trusted you.”

“Yes, you should have.” Simon tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. He was angry. Angry with the parents that had always professed to love him so much could abandon him when he needed them the most.

“We can get River the medical care she needs at home -“

“We can never go home,” Simon said with an air of regret. “I think my recent torture at the hands of the Feds would have convinced you of that.” A lingering tremor raced down his spine and his eyes crossed for a moment but his mother didn’t notice.

“They are a rogue faction that the Alliance is trying to eliminate. They didn’t know about it. After the Miranda issue -“

“The Alliance isn’t doing a good job then, are they?” Simon asked, disgusted. He’d seen firsthand the long, disinterested arm of the Alliance and learned the hard way that the government he had blindly supported did nothing unless it benefited them. Admitting a rogue faction had been operating beneath a masterminded cover-up had been the only way to keep its power from splintering all together.

Regan sighed. Simon was bitter and she couldn’t blame him. He’d been through hell, with little to no support in his struggle to simply stay alive. “I just have to trust -“

Simon’s carefully controlled temper snapped. He was tired, weak from his stressful recovery, and his mother was still defending the government that had enabled the Tam’s to amass such a comfortable fortune. “I don’t want to talk about this any more. You can’t see my side of this argument, but I have lived on both sides. So I think I’m a far better judge of what is best for River and myself. And I do not trust for one minute that the Alliance would protect us from this rogue faction that likes to carve elite assassins out of children’s brains.“

Samantha stepped in with syringe in hand and could immediately feel the tension radiating throughout the room. She placed a hand on Regan’s arm and smiled gently. “I want to give Simon a smoother. It will probably make him a bit drowsy. How about we give him some time to rest?”

Simon leaned back and closed his eyes. He was tired, more tired than he wanted to admit. And he missed Kaylee; missed holding her in his arms, kissing her. She made him feel safe. Safe and loved.

As Samantha injected the drug, Simon sighed. So much for the shower. It would be so incredibly easy to become addicted to some of this medication - especially when it wiped away all the pain and fear.

~*~

Simon shook his head as he sat at the dining room table for the first time in weeks. He needed to get up and walk around, regain his strength. After a day of peace, the confusing, fragmented images had returned, causing him to wonder what was real and what was a memory. He needed to talk about it, even if it made him sound as crazy as his sister.

Kaylee sat beside him, holding his hand. River sat on his other side. “I’m -“ he blinked rapidly, trying to hold onto the splintered, disjointed images long enough so he could explain them. “I’m very disoriented.”

Samantha pressed a syringe to his arm and injected a smoother that would clear his head. “That’s the medication. The combination they injected caused some very severe reactions. Your cells need to repair themselves.”

Simon nodded in agreement. “One was a truth serum of some kind. But they seemed more interested in doing something else to me rather than getting River’s location. Otherwise, there are plenty of drugs available that I would never have been able to resist.”

“How ya know that?” Jayne asked, leaning away from Simon as if some of that truth serum would drip from the young doctor’s blood and infect him. No one wanted to know what he was thinkin’. Even he didn’t want to know what he was thinkin’ sometimes.

“Because of the questions they asked.” Simon took a deep breath. He waved Samantha away when she took a step toward him.

Kaylee squeezed his hand, her bright eyes, and beautiful face encouraging him

“It’s possible that the two men working on you had cross purposes,” Samantha suggested, plainly ignoring Simon’s wave. “Perhaps some of the medicinal combinations actually worked in your favor.”

Simon took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. The dizziness and disorientation were becoming old.

Samantha took his pulse and pressure and when she was confident there was nothing more she could do, she returned to her spot at the end of the table beside Regan.

“Ain’t used ta bein on this side of the doctorin’, huh?” Jayne asked Simon with a short laugh.

“No.”

Kaylee smiled softly and wrapped an arm around him. “It’s about time someone patched you up. Ya done so much for us.”

The tension filling his body lessoned at Kaylee’s gentle touch. “I don’t think there is any kind of medication that can get rid of these images floating in the back of my subconscious – none that I would prescribe for a normally sane man, that is. I can’t even manage to string them together into any kind of order.”

“What kind of images?” Zoe asked, curious.

Simon took a deep breath and shook his head. “I - I don’t understand them. Just flashes of - a memory. But it’s not my memory. I’ve never been to this place. I’ve never seen such images - except in textbooks.”

Everyone was silent as they listened. Only the quiet hum of the engine could be heard as Simon spoke.

“But the memory -“ he stopped and stared at River. “Can you see it?”

River shrugged. “Don’t understand any more than you.”

“Not what I asked.”

“Yes.”

“Well, what is it?” Jayne said, impatient for the doc to get on with it.

“It -“ Simon struggled hard to put the images into some sort of understandable order, but his voice trailed off as he just gave up and described each image that came into his mind; Lush, fertile land, large, crystal bodies of water, tall ice-capped mountains that loomed high into the clear blue sky. Ancient cities surrounded by modern technology, wonders of a world, centuries after they were built, still respected and revered – the abandonment of a world whose resources had been stripped by its growing population.

Simon inhaled sharply as he met River’s eyes. “Earth-That-Was.”

River nodded. “Screaming. Didn’t want you to see him. Opened the door. He showed you.”

Simon’s voice was filled with awe as he glanced around the table. “The old man he - he gave me these memories.” He didn’t remember much of his time at the hands of the Feds. He suspected memories would return in time as the trauma from his ordeal faded. But, this memory was as clear as the bodies of the people staring at him now.

“Wa?” Jayne shook his head, clearly confused.

“An old man I saw in the complex where they were keeping me. He – it was the day you rescued me – I think. My memories are jumbled so I’m not sure. The doctor with me was very angry with someone. I think I was asleep, but then all of these lifelike images started pouring into my head. It hurt so badly, I think I screamed.” Simon tried to remember everything, but it was all so scattered, he wasn’t sure if he was making much sense. “This man was tied to a chair, I saw him, but then the door closed and I didn’t see anything else.”

“Some mental patient projected old images of Earth-That-Was into your head?” Samantha asked, with a curious, yet disturbed look. If she understood River’s explanation of what they’d done to Simon, perhaps it could have been done.

“That facility would not keep a simple mental patient. He was important. Otherwise, why would he have been there?“ Simon shook his head, rubbing his temples. “No, the images were not old. They were - modern - familiar.“

River spoke then, her voice as detached as Simon’s had been. “Sleep. Wake. Sleep. That’s all they do. From Earth-That-Was. Doesn’t take so long now.” River cocked her head to one side. “Came here to tell them. Were silenced.”

Jayne glanced at River and then at Simon. “You two are beginning to - no, ya scare me all the time, jus more right now.”

Kaylee squeezed Simon’s hand and he smiled warily at her. He draped his arm around her shoulders and held her tight, taking the comfort he simple presence offered.

“I think what he wanted me to see is that -“ Simon blinked rapidly, his mind slowly understanding, wrapping around the importance of the images that he had seen. He glanced quickly at his mother. “ - that everything we’ve been told about Earth-That-Was is lie. It’s a thriving, prospering planet. They wanted -.“

“They?” Mal asked, his brow furrowing.

Simon shook his head. “I don’t know. Whoever they is - the Parliament, this rogue faction of the government, I don’t know. Someone doesn’t want us to know that our homeland, the place from where life as we know it originated, is not gone. It’s not used up. It’s a thriving world.”

Everyone fell silent as they digested this information. As expected, Samantha and Regan were the first to discount what Simon had said.

“The reports. The history. It all says the same thing. Earth was used up. We destroyed it. Mined its resources dry.”

“But what if we didn’t?” Simon asked, staring at his mother. “What if -“ Simon shook his head, unable to give voice to all of the theories rushing through his head. He was good at deduction. He knew he wasn’t wrong.

“We didn’t use it up.” River said simply, staring at nothing.

“You know something we don’t, little albatross?” Mal asked, eyebrow quirked.

“Simon’s memory. Not mine.”

“Ya have no trouble reading minds any other time,” Jayne grumbled, “what’s stoppin’ ya now?”

Simon looked at his sister, took her hand. “I obviously don’t have the ability to access all of these memories. Do you see more?”

“Pain and death.”

“Oh, the usual.” Mal leaned back in his chair with a sigh. Moving for the first time since Simon’s tale had begun, Inara dropped her hand into his and squeezed it gently. They talked well into the night and more than once did Jayne glance uncomfortably at Samantha and Regan.

“You want us to leave?” Samantha finally asked, pointedly directing her question toward Jayne.

“Two Tam’s on this boat’s enough.” Jayne mumbled, and then raised an eyebrow as he thought of something else. “Unless ya plan to take them with ya when ya leave.”

“No -” Kaylee leaned forward and began to protest but Simon squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“Not leaving.” River folded her arms and glared at Jayne.

Mal nodded and turned to the two women at the end of the table. “Simon an River are free to do as they want. They are members of my crew. But you must leave this boat. You all have lives. It’s best ya be getting’ back to ‘em. We’ll return you to Paquin in one of the shuttles.” Mal hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I don’t want to get too close to that planet again for a while.”

“I won’t leave my children.” Regan stood.

“Must go.” River smiled sadly at her mother. “Can help us. But not here.”

“We can discuss this later,” Mal said, pushing himself to his feet. “It’s late. We’ve had an exhausting few weeks. Now that Simon is more or less back to his normal, cheerful self, will be nice to sleep through the night for once.”

Zoe, Jayne and Inara followed Mal as he exited the room, Jayne throwing Simon and Kaylee a quick smirk as he left.

Simon stood respectfully as Kaylee pushed back her chair. Regan shot her son a look that expected him to defend her wish to remain, but he kept silent as he watched Kaylee turn in the direction of her bunk - and not toward the one they shared. Simon slid his hand around her arm stopping her progress. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, jus’ tired,” Kaylee answered with a feigned yawn.

“Then come to bed.” Simon wrapped an arm around her shoulders but was concerned when he felt her stiffen in his embrace.

“What did I do?” His mother and her friend were forgotten as fear sank into Simon’s heart.

Kaylee looked down the corridor that led to the passenger bunks. “Well, with yer mom in the next room an’ all, I didn’t think -“

Simon pressed a finger to her lips. “I’m an adult.” He turned his head to see Regan speaking quietly with Samantha at the end of the table. “My mother will just have to understand.”

Kaylee’s eyes brightened a bit but she was far from her normal, bubbly self. “She could hear an’-“

“Then we’ll use your bunk,” Simon insisted, bending to kiss her gently. “We’re together, Kaylee. It’s been so long. I just want to hold you tonight.” He brought his hand up to cup her cheek. “You bring such comfort, you -” He hesitated a moment, fear gripping his heart. “Unless - you don’t want - unless something has changed -“

Kaylee shushed him with a kiss, her eyes brightening. “We’ll use my bunk.”

Simon exhaled a sigh of relief and took her hand, glancing back to say goodnight to his mother and Samantha. He knew she wanted to talk, but he was tired and all he wanted to do was fall asleep in Kaylee’s arms. He mouthed ‘later’ and moved toward the opposite hallway that would lead to the crew quarters, not giving his mother a chance to protest. If she was upset with his sleeping with Kaylee, she had wisely not spoken of it.

River stood between them and their escape and smiled knowingly, muttering, “You are such a boob,” as she floated by them on her way up to the cockpit.

Kaylee giggled and Simon shook his head as they followed behind River stopping at Kaylee’s bunk while the crazy moonbrain continued on to the cockpit. Kaylee climbed down the metal steps first, and Simon hurried after her, yawning even as he descended into the room. As soon as his feet touched the floor, the door above them slammed shut and Kaylee hugged him so tightly he thought he would fall over.

“Was so worried,” she murmured against his chest, her eyes fluttering closed as she tightened her arms around him.

He held her for a long moment, unable to find comforting words. After a few moments, he led her to the bed and began to pull off his clothes. He was so tired, he didn’t care that he didn’t have any nightclothes in this room. He stripped to his underwear, draping the rest over a nearby chair, and turned to find Kaylee watching him with twinkling eyes.

He cocked his head and shot her such a sweet, swai smile that she felt her knees weaken.

“Need help?” Simon asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and holding out his hand.

“Was jus watchin’.” Kaylee stepped toward him and slid her hand into his. “You’re tired.”

“Exhausted, actually.” Talking about those images had released a torrent of tension and he found he could barely stand he was so tired. Simon reached up and slid his hands up her neck, fingers delicately brushing against the skin. He bent to press a gentle kiss to her mouth and when their lips met Kaylee melted against him.

“Than I shouldn’t be here. ‘Cause - I’ll jus’ distract -“

“I just want to hold you tonight.” He threaded his fingers into her hair and kissed the corner of her mouth. He knew what she wanted but wasn’t sure he could give it to her - not tonight. Hopefully, his little minx would understand. There hadn’t been a day yet, since they’d been together, that he’d denied her needs. As a concession to the pout forming on her lips, he added with a wink, “You can do whatever you want to me in the morning.”

Kaylee’s smile brightened and she wrapped her arms around his waist, giving him a tight hug. “I’ll hold ya ta that.” She turned out of his arms and removed her own clothes, depositing them on the floor. When she turned around, she smiled when she found him watching her, his eyes drooping with exhaustion.

She crawled into the narrow bed with him - one of these days they would need to get a larger one - and settled into his arms. When she pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply - half asleep already. “Sleep sweet, honey.”

“Love you,” Simon whispered as his body relaxed and his mind sank into delightful, exhausted darkness.

Kaylee stared at him for a long while, a few tears slipping from the corner of her eyes. Simon had never before said he loved her, and Kaylee buried her face against his shoulder, knowing that just as when he’d told her she was pretty, she knew that he meant those words. When he was at his weakest, every word he said was a true account of his feelings - she only hoped he would remember speaking them in the morning.

Chapter 8

Simon woke to Kaylee tightening his arm around her waist. Her back was against his bare chest and his arm was draped over her, his body cradling her from behind. Lifting the arm he’d been laying on, he gently brushed away the hair from her neck, exposing the soft curve of skin beneath. When he leaned over and pressed his lips to the long, smooth column, he smiled, hearing her sharp intake of breath.

She rolled over quick-like and snaked her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek against his chest. “Was ‘fraid ta wake ya.

“I slept like the dead. I don’t think I moved all night.” Simon said with a smile, then instantly regretted mentioning the word when her head shot up and he saw her sad eyes. “Oh, bao bei,” he leaned up and kissed her softly. “Don’t give it another thought. I’m alive. I’m here. And I will never willingly leave your side.” His arms came down around her shoulders, his hands sliding into her hair. “Guess that mean’s you’re stuck with the stuffy, cold, Core doctor.”

A small smile crept along her mouth, her eyes dancing at the thought. “You’re not cold.” She wiggled suggestively against him and was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath from his lungs.

“Oh - ah - well, my bedside manner is, so I’ve been told.”

Kaylee snuggled closer, pressing her mouth to his chest and brushing a finger over an exposed nipple. “No, you’re very warm.”

Simon could feel his body respond and so could she, if her sultry grin was any indication. He didn’t think it would have been possible so soon after his ordeal but, she obviously had a talent that he should exploit now rather than later.

“You ok? I mean, can you -“ Kaylee’s questioning gaze burned into him, heating his blood. “It’s been so long an I -“

Simon put a finger to her lips. “Yes, I’m fine. Everything works as intended.”

“I’ll be the judge a that,” Kaylee kissed him, nibbling at his bottom lip before tugging it into her mouth and sucking urgently.

Simon did nothing to stop her as her hand slid down and cupped him through the one thin layer of clothing he still wore. She squeezed gently, coaxing a trembling response from his body. He was still tired and weak, but he wanted this. He wanted her.

“You been so sick.” She grinned coyly at him as she slid down his body, pressing gentle kisses to his chest, laving each hard nipple with her tongue before sliding lower. “I need ta relax ya.”

“I’m - ah - quite relaxed,” Simon pushed his fingers through her hair and closed his eyes. “You don’t need to -“ He groaned low in his throat when she rubbed her cheek against him.

After pressing a gentle kiss to the hardness hidden beneath the thin fabric, she stroked him through it, drawing further heavy sighs from his lips. At her insistence, he lifted his hips so that she could slide the last remaining piece of clothing down his legs. There was no resistance when she curled her fingers around him and began to stroke slowly from base to tip, using her thumb to gently rub the sensitive ridge.

“Kaylee -“ Simon breathed, struggling to look down at her, at what her hands, and now - mouth were doing to him. He trembled when she pressed slow, gentle kisses to him on the way down, laving him with her tongue on the way back up again. He couldn’t help but arch his hips against her touch, and groaned loudly when she took him into the wet heat of her mouth.

He could stand only a few minutes of the delicious pressure until intense blue eyes pleaded with her to stop. It would be over far too quickly if she continued.

She grinned saucily and released him. “Yep, working as intended.” She straddled his hips and rubbed herself against him.

As he attempted to sit, to reach around her, she pressed down, driving their bodies together in one smooth, fluid motion.

His hands flew to her hips as he arched his head back into the pillow. He muttered her name as she slowly rose and fell, his hands doing nothing but guiding her. Much to his dismay, he quickly realized that something was not working as intended - his control. He rapidly felt himself spiraling toward a climax he did not yet wish to reach.

“Kaylee,” he groaned, but she paid no attention. He reached between them to touch her and that earned a moan from above him as she sharply arched against his hand. He gripped her hips and moved with her, lifting her off him and then lowering her in a steady, urgent rhythm. It had been too long. They were used to such intimacies on a daily basis, having been weeks since they’d last touched took all of the control he could possibly muster not to lose control the moment he’d felt her tight, wet heat envelop him.

“I - can’t - I don’t have -“ he panted, the words refusing to come out properly. Instead of trying to talk, he quickly sat up and wrapped his arms around her backside. With little difficulty - just a bit of awkward movement - he rolled her onto her back without slipping out of her.

The round oh of her mouth bespoke her surprise at their swift position change. But the momentary shock wore off and she reached around his neck and drew his head to her for a deep, lengthy kiss. She gasped against his mouth when he reached between them to fondle her, matching the momentum of his hips. She was so slick, and so aroused, her body trembled with each thrust, each pass of his fingers.

Kaylee clawed at his shoulders as she tensed, his gentle fingers knowing just the right motion, just the right place to pull the most pleasure from her body. Her hands slid through his hair, tugging the dark, damp strands, tongue delving into his mouth. She met him thrust for thrust as he rolled his hips against her, whimpering softly as the pleasure rose and crested within her body.

He left her mewling beneath him, desperate to reach that wondrous, rapturous place only her surprisingly passionate Core-bred doctor could take her. He knew each motion of her body, his schooling had trained him to know every twitch, every muscle, and he knew she was close. His fingers worked swiftly against her sex, until she cried out, her body tightening around him, clenching him as the heat rushed through her body, leaving her trembling in its wake.

Grateful for her swift release, since he knew he could not last a moment longer himself, Simon gave himself over to the pleasure radiating off her, through her. Her body folded around him, tightened and pulled at him until he groaned deeply against her mouth, his hips thrusting sharply. He tore his mouth from hers as his own release built, coiling around his body so tightly he thought he would suffocate.

When Kaylee lifted her legs and tightened them around his thrusting hips, he dropped his head and cried out his release into her shoulder.

~*~

“But we have to do something, get this information out to the ‘Verse that our homeland is -“

“Is what? A thriving, healthy planet filled with all the natural resources our people were led to believe had been used up?” Mal cocked an eyebrow at Simon. “We have no proof. Other than what’s in that top three percent head of yours. Unlikely the Alliance will ‘preciate us meddlin’ again.”

“I’m with Mal, nothin’ we need ta be gettin’ involved in.” Jayne leaned back in his chair, smiling triumphantly at Simon.

Irritated, Simon shot back with a quick, “Something else is going on there. Why would that man have projected images of Earth-That-Was into my head otherwise?”

“Oh, maybe ‘cause you was there and you was convenient?” Jayne rolled his eyes.

Simon wouldn’t give up. Something, some insistent nagging in the back of his mind wouldn’t let him. “We got the truth out about what happened on Miranda.”

“We were in the right place at the right time.” Mal stared at Simon, daring him to counter. Boy was getting right bold since Miranda. “We are not in the right place now.”

“I was.” Simon answered, almost not of his own volition. “I was there. I was captured for a reason.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you was stupid.” Jayne observed with a smirk. “Off findin’ somethin’ for yer girlfriend when ya shouldna left tha boat.”

Kaylee’s eyes widened. She’d thought he’d left the ship to get medical supplies. The guilt she felt creeping up her spine prompted her to ask, in a small voice, “for me?”

“No,” Simon was quick to refute Jayne’s statement, knowing how guilty Kaylee would feel knowing she was the cause of him being taken and tortured. But the hurt that slid across her face at his quick remark caused him to stutter. “Yes - No - I didn’t mean -“ he was going to pay for this later if the look on Kaylee’s face was any indication. “Oh, it doesn’t matter!” Simon threw his hands onto the table. “What matters is that man wanted me to see something. There was a reason.”

“Then you kin work on just what that reason was on your own time,” Mal scowled. “We need to get our extra passengers home. And get us another job.”

Regan’s eyes brightened. Finally, something she could contribute to the conversation. “I will pay you. You don’t need - “

“I don’ take handouts,” Mal answered quickly. “Give whatever ya want ta yer kids. They’ve suffered more.”

Simon glanced down at his hands entwined with Kaylee’s and River stared at a spot on the wall, clearly uninterested in her mother’s aid.

“How can I reach you? I will send you money.” Regan asked Simon, nonplussed that he had turned away from her at the mention of giving him any help at all.

“We’ve survived this long. We’ll be fine.” Simon said slowly. Money would help them. But he wouldn’t accept it.

“’l’ll take what yer gonna give ‘em.”

“Jayne!” Inara stared at him, insulted on Simon’s behalf.

Simon began to protest but Mal held up his hand. “Okay, enough. River git us back ta Paquin. Zoe, ready shuttle two. We’ll stop at a nearby moon and you can return Mrs.Tam and the doctor back home. They’ve been gone long enough. Don’t want no one worryin’ ‘bout where they are.”

Regan sighed. She’d had an all too brief conversation with Simon earlier this morning and it had not gone they way she’d wanted. Simon wanted her to leave. River insisted she would be of more help to them at home. She’d reluctantly agreed.

Regan looked to Inara and took the Companion’s hand, giving her a genuinely grateful smile. “Thank you for the use of your very extensive and beautiful wardrobe.”

Inara smiled kindly as she walked away with Regan and Samantha. “It was no trouble. I’m sorry you arrived as you did. We - well, Simon means a lot of all of us. We were concerned.”

“Rightly so,” Samantha said as they walked toward the passenger bunks to gather Inara’s borrowed clothes. “He was very lucky there was no permanent damage.”

“Well I wouldn’t say that,” Inara glanced back at the dining area. “He’s quite convinced there is another secret out there that needs telling.”

“He’s very gifted.” Regan smiled sadly. “He is quite likely correct.”

“That’s what Mal is afraid of.” Inara admitted with a sigh.

“Simon and River are very lucky to have found friends such as you out here.” Regan said after a moment of sad reflection. “I don’t think he would come home even if he wasn’t afraid the government would send assassins after him.”

“He does have a life here now.” Inara smiled kindly as the women neatly folded the clothes. “It took him a while to adjust but I think he’s done well.”

“He - they - weren’t raised to live a life on the run, a life without - whatever they wanted. It must have been difficult for them.” Regan brushed a trembling hand through her hair. “But knowing they are alive and well - that will be enough for me. It will have to be.”

Inara nodded. “It did take a while but they have adjusted well.”

The Companion was surprised when Regan gripped her hands. “Please let me send you some money for them. We have more than we can ever use. I -“ She lowered her head in shame. “Simon gave up everything for River. He had so much; money, a career he loved, prestige. Now he has nothing -“

“I wouldn’t let him hear you call Kaylee nothing.” Inara’s eyes twinkled.

Regan nodded, a small smile passing across her face. “She is another reason. If - if he asks her - if they marry. I want my daughter-in-law to have what should be rightfully hers.”

“It sounds like Simon won’t accept -“

“He will if it comes from you. I can see in his manner that he deeply respects you.”

Inara acquiesced to make the woman happy. Whether Simon accepted anything she gave him on behalf of his mother, well, that would be something else entirely. “Send anything you wish to Shinon, to the Companion Training House. It will reach me. I will see to it that Simon and River get anything you send.”

“Thank you.”

~*~

Regan pulled her daughter into her arms and hugged her tight. “I will miss you, my little butterfly.”

“Free to dance; to be me. Happy here.” River glanced back at the crew standing behind them on the walkway. They’d all said their goodbyes. It was just Simon and River left now. “Flutter with the current. Wherever it may lead.”

“I know.” Regan flattened her hand against River’s cheek and leaned forward to whisper into her ear. “Take care of your brother.”

River nodded knowingly before stepping away. “He takes so much looking after.”

Simon stepped forward then and embraced his mother tightly. He hadn’t been good at telling her his feelings, but he was glad she had been here the last few days. It had given him hope and reassurance that his family had not abandoned him. He and River were loved, not despised because they’d ruined their parent’s standing in the upper echelon of Osiris high society.

“Take care of her, Simon.” Regan hugged her only son tightly.

He glanced back at River standing beside Kaylee. Their hands were folded together and he smiled at them.

“I will.” Simon buried his face in his mother’s hair, and inhaled a shaky breath. Somehow he knew, with absolute certainty, that he would never see her again. But at least he would have the memory of his mother’s warm and loving embrace one last time. To know that she did love, and more importantly, believe what he did to get River out was right.

When they parted, Regan extended a hand toward Kaylee and beckoned to her. The mechanic took a hesitant step forward before River gave her a little push.

Regan embraced Kaylee with warm affection. “Take care of my son.”

Kaylee’s somber mood brightened at once and a smile even appeared on Simon’s face. Regardless of her upbringing, he realized his mother had accepted Kaylee’s place in his life.

River appeared behind them, smiling stupidly. “The boob will behave.”

Simon scowled at his sister and opened his arms. River and Kaylee stepped into them, embracing him tightly. They stepped back and waved goodbye as Zoe led Regan and Samantha into the shuttle.

When Regan turned to look at her children one last time, tears welled in her eyes.

River’s voice floated through her body, light and airy, sad and understanding. She stood beside Simon, two halves of her children making a whole. “Tell him – we forgive him and we understand.”

The sob caught in Regan’s throat and the tears finally slipped down her cheeks. If she never saw her children again, her daughter had just given her a grateful gift – the knowledge that they forgave both their parents for thinking only of themselves, of the social prestige given to them when they’d turned River over to the Academy.

“See you,” River forced a smile to her lips as Zoe secured and locked the door. She wanted to make them happy, even if she knew the truth. As the shuttle disembarked, River turned sad eyes on her brother. “Never again.”

“No, mei mei,” Simon stared at the closed doors before he turned away, walking with his arms wrapped protectively around his ladies. He knew what River knew. “We will never see them again.”

~*~

“It was a success?” the blue-gloved operative asked the doctor standing at a nearby terminal. Behind them, video footage of Simon Tam’s transfer to the now missing transport cycled and repeated.

“According to the reports, the conditioning was not complete.” The doctor tapped a series of commands into the keypad and glanced up at the operative staring at the empty chair that should contain his subject. “There might be a lingering desire to complete the mission, but we cannot be sure. Nothing was completed. We only had him for a few weeks.”

“Then we will wait and watch.” The blue-gloved man paused the footage of Simon screaming. “We will find Simon and River Tam, one way or the other.”

THE END

Epilogue

Post coital bliss notwithstanding, Kaylee had never felt so happy, comfortable and safe in her entire life. Sensing that Simon wasn’t asleep yet either, she lifted her head.

“Do ya think we’ll, well not us, but our kids or our grandkids, ever go back there?” she asked as she snuggled closer to Simon and dropped her hand atop his chest. It was still damp and she absently made small circles on his skin as she spoke. “Back to Earth-That-Was?”

“I won’t give up until I’ve discovered why that old man wanted me to see what he knew.” Simon tightened his arms around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. “There had to have been a reason. If it takes the rest of my life I will find out why.”

Kaylee pressed her mouth to the center of his chest and placed a lingering kiss over his heart. “Cap’n’ll help. He’s tha curious sort, ya know.”

Simon grinned and slid a hand into her hair, tugging gently at the honeyed strands. “Are you sure you’re not just the least bit curious yourself?”

“I seen the vids, the pics of Earth-That-Was. Even read some history on it when I was a kid. Would be nice to know if it’s really there, y’know?”

“It’s there.” Simon said with a certainty he could not explain.

Kaylee looked up into his determined eyes and trembled. Something about his certainty frightened her. But she had him back and his beautiful blue eyes were clear and full of love when he looked at her. He was back from what she’d thought was certain death. If a few odd memories were all that was left of the experience, she would be grateful. She brushed her fingers across his cheek, her eyes shining. “I love you, y’know.”

Simon gazed adoringly into her bright eyes and kissed her sweet mouth. “I love you, too, Kaylee.”

Simon reached over to turn out the dim light, immediately casting the small room into darkness. He cradled Kaylee in his arms, his certainty that he would one day discover why they’d truly abandoned Earth-That-Was lulling him into a peaceful, contented slumber.

On every world, from the Core to the Rim, the terraformed land sustained and blessed the lives of the children of Earth. But it would not always be this way. One day, they would need to return to their homeland in search of what the wise men of old failed to bring to their new home.

What they didn’t realize is that one day was approaching faster than they ever anticipated.

THE END

-------------

End Notes: In an effort to keep the action going, I started the story with the Feds already having caught Simon. With enough prodding, I may possibly go back and write just how they got a hold of him in the first place. Or I may write a sequel. Right now, I have no plans to do either. Guess it all depends on how this part is received.

MORE End Notes: The information on Earth-That-Was has been taken (and expounded upon for this story) from the Serenity RPG book. It has some excellent info on a lot of things in this ‘verse. If you don’t have it yet, I highly recommend it, simply for the spectacular historical information.

----------------- Notes on the drugs mentioned in the story:

Naltrexone and Methadone are a pure narcotic antagonists. That is, it attaches to the endorphin or opiate receptors in the brain and completely blocks them.

Propoxin - sedative