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BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR
Poor Jayne has a problem with puppies and the crew learns that Simon and Kaylee's relationship has changed. Simon/Kaylee
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 1766 RATING: 9 SERIES: FIREFLY
Oh, there are 17 chapters. 18 if I decide to include an Epilogue.
She woke to a pitiful whining sound coming from the vicinity of the floor. Kaylee yawned and rolled over, careful to keep Simon’s arm wrapped tightly around her waist. She smiled sleepily when she felt him snuggle against her from behind, dropping a kiss to her neck.
But as she cuddled back against his chest, she heard it again, that whining, and forced open her eyes. She yawned and stretched, giggling as Simon mumbled incoherently behind her. She heard a little tick tick on the floor and leaned over the edge of the bed – and came nose to nose with a tiny little labrador puppy.
“Oh!” Kaylee gasped, waking Simon with her surprised gasp.
The puppy below wagged its tail excitedly as Kaylee slipped out of bed, quickly pulled on her clothes, and lifted it into her arms. “Well, hello little one. How’d you get in here?”
“Mal is going to have a fit,” Simon yawned and watched Kaylee snuggle and kiss the puppy.
“He’s so cute!”
Simon arched his head, squinted and chuckled. “She.”
Kaylee turned the pup over and giggled. “Oh. I should kinda know the difference, huh?” her eyes danced as they swept over his body.
“I certainly hope so.” Simon laughed as he slid out of bed and pulled on some pants. He scratched his fingers under the puppy’s chin and kissed Kaylee’s cheek as he walked over to the sink in the corner of the room to wash his face.
“Guess I have to find out which cage you got out of, hmm? Cap’n gonna be mighty upset if there’s lots of you runnin’ around this mornin’”
“I’d almost pay to see the look on his face,” Simon said as he dried his face and hands on a towel.
As if on cue, the ship wide com crackled and the Captain’s very irritated voice ordered everyone to the galley.
“Ah, well, perhaps I won’t need to pay after all.” He finished dressing and swept the puppy out of her arms. “Get dressed, I’ll take this little guy to –“
Kaylee pouted and snatched the little pup away. “Mine.”
Simon frowned at the puppy. “I’ve been replaced by a – a –”
Kaylee stepped into his arms and dragged a finger down his chest, stopping at the waistband of his pants. “Not anyone in the ‘verse that can replace you, honey.”
Simon glanced down at the puppy licking at her hands and sniffing his shirt. “How – comforting. I think.” He kissed her mouth before stepping away. “Get dressed and get up there. Captain finds out –“
“I know, I know,” Kaylee shook her head and waved him away. “He won’t toss you out the airlock, y’know.”
“I’d not like to take the chance just yet.”
When Simon made it to the galley, he was greeted with an annoyed Mal and a sneezing Jayne.
Simon’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Jayne. “Something wrong?”
Simon fought the chuckle that rose through his chest at Jayne’s apparent misery.
“Where’s your sister?” Mal asked Simon. “She was wandering around the cages last night.”
“No she wasn’t,” Jayne sneezed wetly. “She was having a screamin’ fit in her room.”
“That she was,” Simon nodded but as Wash and Zoe entered from one direction, River entered from another, with an armful of excited puppy looking decidedly normal after her recent bad day.
Jayne scrambled up so quickly and backed away, he nearly knocked over his chair. “Keep that thing away from me.”
“Needs love. Needs to remember who he is.” River pressed her cheek to the squirming puppy’s head.
“Will be no puppy lovin’ on my boat!” Mal growled, sending a glare first in Simon’s direction – as if he’d ever been able to control his sister – before setting his annoyed gaze on River.
“Aww, Mal,” Inara walked over to River and brushed her fingers over the soft fur. “He’s cute.”
Jayne sneezed and Simon had to turn away to keep from laughing.
Mal stalked to River and glared down at her. “That – does not belong to you. Put it back.”
Mal tossed his arms into the air when a bubbly, smiling Kaylee entered the room – no one noticed from the passenger dorms – with a jumpy, squirming bundle in her arms. “Mornin’ Cap’n.”
“These puppies are cargo! They are not to be played with!”
“Lonely.” River said sadly as she pressed a kiss to the top of one squirming head.
“If something happens to them, we don’t get paid.” He favored the girls with a scour look. “We don’t get paid, you don’t eat and this ship don’t fly. Dong ma?”
“Oh Mal, you’re overreacting –“ Inara started but Wash intervened.
“Jayne scared of an itty bitty puppy?” Wash could barely contain the excitement on his face.
Jayne glared at the pilot. “One more word little man –“
“And you’ll what? Sneeze me to death?”
On cue, Jayne sneezed sending spittle all over the table. He stared pitifully at Simon. “Some help here, doc? I feel like I’m dyin’ here.”
“Yes, please take Jayne away. Anywhere other than here.” Mal wrinkled his nose at Jayne’s more disgusting than usual appearance.
“It’s just an allergy. I hardly doubt you’re dying.” Simon rolled his eyes and pointed toward the infirmary, unwilling to get any closer to the disgusting man. “I’ll give you some antihistamine. Might knock you out for a while.”
“Good, won’t need to hear or smell those mangy animals then.”
“Wake up in a puddle of his own drool, tho’ I bet!” Wash offered as the two men left the galley. He was clearly far too amused for his own continuing good health.
“Husband, when Jayne gets well, I might just stand aside and let him get in a swing.”
Wash gaped at his wife. “You wouldn’t.”
“No, but the look on your face just now was worth the brief consideration.”
Puppies securely in their cages, and River sufficiently chastised for taking them out in the first place, Mal went about his duties, leaving the rest of the crew to go about theirs.
Kaylee entertained River while Simon dealt with an increasingly more miserable Jayne.
“God, I’ve never seen anyone react so badly to a little dander before.” Simon wrinkled his nose at Jayne. “You look truly pathetic.”
“Den take pity on me and knock me the hell out.”
“Oh no.” Simon shook his head and smirked. “No. I think you need to be awake through all of this.”
Jayne sneezed wetly and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “Thought you said I was safe in here.”
Simon grinned, understanding that Jayne was referring to a conversation they’d had the last time Jayne was injured and lying helpless at his mercy. Simon learned that Jayne had turned him and River into the Feds and surprisingly, his not so subtle threat had somehow made it through Jayne’s thick skull. “Of course you are. You’re still breathing, aren’t you?”
“Not very well!”
Simon shook his head and busied himself with something on the counter. “That you decided to romp around with puppies was not my fault.”
“I’m gonna hurt that gorram sister of yours.”
“She didn’t know.”
“Now that’s a lie an you know it.”
Simon turned away to hide his smile. It was more than likely River knew that Jayne would have an allergic reaction. She was a reader after all. It made him all warm and fuzzy inside. He owed his little bratty sister a giant hug for this.
“Jayne is the biggest baby I’ve ever seen.” Simon sank into the couch beside Kaylee who had been waiting outside the infirmary for him to finish with his patient. “Literally. The biggest. He just won’t leave. He’s starting to test even my patience. And I used to think I had a lot.”
Kaylee giggled and scooted closer to him, resting her hand on his thigh. “He’s just sick.”
“He’s allergic. That’s it.” Simon shook his head. “Pathetic.”
“Maybe he’s just likin’ you takin’ such good care of ‘em.” Kaylee wiggled her eyebrows suggestively which made her laugh even harder when Simon caught her meaning.
“God, don’t ever,” he spluttered. “That’s just – just – wrong! Ugh!”
Kaylee laughed long and hard and then leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Sorry honey.” She tilted her head noting his thoroughly disgusted reaction and giggled. “Well, maybe not too much.”
Simon’s eyes were still wide with the disturbing mental image. “I’m scarred for life.”
Kaylee swung her leg over his thigh and rubbed him with her knee. “Maybe I can do something about that?” She leaned against his chest and kissed his neck.
“I – ah – yes, all right.” His hands went around her lower back, tugging the back of her shirt up so he could feel her bare skin. “I think you’ll have to try hard. That image is just – too disturbing for words.”
She sucked gently at his neck and gently trailed her fingers down his chest to the waistband of his pants.
Simon pulled her into his lap and kissed her, thrusting his tongue into her mouth as desire and arousal coursed through his blood. Jayne had kept him plenty occupied for the last few days and he’d not spent as much time with Kaylee as he’d wanted. Their relationship was so new, he found it difficult to think of anything but her at all times. And it was natural, he knew, to want to be with her – inside her, making love to her, whenever they had some free time.
Kaylee groaned against his mouth and rolled her hips against his, feeling him swell between them.
“Maybe we should – ah – take this to –“
But Kaylee’s mouth on his silenced him and he could do nothing but slide his hands down her back, against her bare skin, touching as much of her as his fingers could find.
Wash and Zoe made their way slowly to the infirmary, really in no hurry to reach their destination. Jayne was probably there and they had no desire to see him. His pathetic sniffling was beginning to even grate on their nerves. They were a few steps ahead of Mal, who was back in the galley speaking with Book about delivering the puppies to their new home. As they rounded the corner, they stopped and stared at the couple before them.
Simon and Kaylee were sitting on the couch outside the infirmary engaged in what looked to be very intimate embrace.
“Huh. Wonder when that happened?” Wash smiled approvingly at the placement of Simon’s hands, which were slowly inching down Kaylee’s back, beneath coveralls tied at her waist.
They moved backwards out of sight and contemplated their next move.
"Think we should interrupt them?" Zoe asked, peeking around the corner.
"I wouldn't." Wash chuckled, his eyes full of mirth.
"And why not?" Zoe narrowed her eyes. “Better we find them than the Captain.”
"It’d be more embarrassing for Simon if we interrupted them." Wash glanced down, and wiggled his hips.
Zoe let out a short laugh as Book appeared beside them.
"Why are we standing over here? Something happening that – oh."
“I wonder what’s wrong with their bunks?” Zoe asked as Mal approached.
Wash gave a short laugh. "Not big enough?"
Mal peered around the corner and his eyes widened. “What the – When did this –” After a beat, what Wash had said registered in his mind and he sent the pilot a scathing look. He looked around the corner again. "And the couch IS?"
Zoe stared with rising eyebrows as Simon’s hands disappeared down the back of Kaylee’s overalls. "If you intend to stop them, do it soon, Sir."
Book heartily agreed as he glanced around the corner and noticed the placement of Simon’s hands and the appropriate amount of squirming Kaylee was doing in his lap. “Yes, please. Someone stop them. If River – "
Mal threw Book an incredulous look, and scowled when Zoe indicated that he keep his voice down. "River! Jayne walks in here, he'll take captures and post them all over the ship!"
"Kaylee'd be proud her fun warranted such close scrutiny," Wash said with a grin.
"Simon wouldn't." Mal cocked his head, considering the embarrassment the overly proper doctor would feel. Perhaps Jayne’s touch was just what this situation needed.
Book caught onto Mal’s train of thought and raised a warning finger. "Don't you even – "
“My ship. My rules.” Mal whirled around the corner and everyone tensed as they heard him ask, very loudly. “And what is wrong with your bunks?"
“Uh oh.” Wash hurried after him, eager to temper the Captain’s anger. Zoe followed, not wanting to miss the doctor’s dressing down for daring to lay his hands on Mal’s little mei mei.
Book hung back, wanting to give the kids some privacy. But he did peer around the corner once curiosity got the best of him.
Simon started so much that Kaylee nearly slipped off his lap. But she tightened her arms around his neck and turned her head to smile happily at the approaching Mal.
“Yes, Capn’? she asked with wide, innocent eyes.
Mal looked them over and crossed his arms. “Other than ‘when the hell did this happen!?’, we need inocked ‘fore we land. Job, you know? Earns us money to buy parts to keep flyin’?”
Simon stammered some response that brought a chuckle to Zoe’s lips and even Wash had to laugh at the blush creeping down his neck.
“Yes, Capn’. Didn’t think we was so close to landin’”
“Well we are, let’s go, doc.”
Simon slowly, carefully lifted Kaylee off his hips, hoping to whatever God looked down on them that Kaylee’s nimble fingers hadn’t reached the fastenings of his pants. To his dismay, his shirt was nearly unbuttoned to his waist, but thankfully that was it.
As Simon followed Mal toward the infirmary, Wash leaned over and whispered to Simon, “Nothin’ like a demanding Captain to spoil the – momentum, huh?”
Simon’s eyes widened and Zoe laughed just as Jayne sauntered around the corner to receive his own inoculation shot.
“What’s up folks?” The man was far too cheerful when cradling Vera.
“Not Simon.” Mal rolled his sleeve up and held out his arm, an unreadable expression on his face.
Wash couldn’t resist adding his own little jibe. “Anymore, that is.”
Simon groaned and prepared the hypos for injection, dreading the talk he knew the Captain was going to insist they have when he returned.
“Can’t wait to get rid of those mangy furballs.” Jayne sneezed and Simon found himself hoping something went wrong on this delivery so he had an excuse to stay in the infirmary for a very long time when they returned.
Saturday, March 04, 2006 6:50 AM
Saturday, March 04, 2006 7:15 AM
Saturday, March 04, 2006 7:19 AM
Saturday, March 04, 2006 8:33 AM
Saturday, March 04, 2006 9:12 AM
Saturday, March 04, 2006 9:18 AM
Saturday, March 04, 2006 3:25 PM
Tuesday, March 07, 2006 5:02 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006 3:28 AM
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