What Makes A Hero? By 2x2 Written for FF_Fridays Challenge #112 - Heroes Rating: PG Characters: Crew Spoilers: None Disclaimer: I own nothing, just like to borrow once in a while. A/N: at the end.

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“T’aint a hero,” said Jayne, shaking his head emphatically.

“What do you mean?” said Book.

“’S what’s on the inside what makes a hero.”

“Looks like a hero,” said Simon.

“Like you would know,” Jayne scoffed.

“I know a hero when I see one,” protested the doctor.

“Divinity. Prophet. Priest. Poet. King,” said River, peering over her brother’s shoulder.

“Huh?” grunted Jayne.

“Archetype. Calling – Mentor – Obstacles – Fulfillment – Return - Rebirth. Not there yet,” she answered.

“Ain’t talkin’ ‘bout… whatever. Moonbrain,” the mercenary said, frowning as River stuck her tongue out. “Hero’s very specific like.”

“So, what makes a hero a hero?” asked Kaylee, eyes wide and curious.

“I’ve seen a lot of heroes made in my day…” claimed Book, still asserting he was right.

“Not a real hero. Don’t ‘spect a one a’ ya’s seen the real thing.”

“And, what makes you such an expert?” asked Simon.

“On account of how my Ma done brought me up to know the makin’s of a true hero, that’s what,” the big man growled with pride.

“Of course. How foolish of me.”

“Damn right! Now, what makes a hero a true hero ain’t got nothin’ to do with how you dress ‘em up.”

“It don’t? But I thought you said it was what was on the inside that counts,” said Kaylee.

“Well, it is. But dressin’ don’t change ‘em; every hero’s gots three things that’re always there. You don’t got those three things, ain’t a hero.”

“Unusual conception,” agreed River.

“Whuh… er, I guess,” said Jayne, brow furrowed.

“What ch’all starin’ at?” asked Mal suddenly, meeting five sets of eyes as he came into the room.

“Just debating the finer points of what exactly defines a hero, Captain,” said Book.

“Hero? Hero gets other people killed, Preacher,” said Mal dismissively as he sat.

“Wrong archetype,” said River, stepping around the table with a sweep of her dress, fingers trailing through the air.

“Huh?” questioned Mal, watching her dance away.

“So, what three things?” Simon nodded at Jayne to continue.

“You gots your Eye-talian bread, your pork meat, and…” said Jayne, turning back to his plate with a bundle wrapped in wax paper. He unwrapped it to reveal several slices of white cheese. “Your Provalone,” he finished, laying the slices out with a flourish. “Now that’s a hero!”

“But, well, that protein ain’t exactly meat,” disputed Kaylee.

“And that’s a French loaf, actually,” added Simon. Book chuckled, smothering a smile as the mercenary glared at them all.

“Aw, shut up!” he snarled petulantly, taking his plate and sitting at the table next to Mal.

The Captain eyed Jayne’s plate appreciatively. “Now that is one fine lookin’ sandwich,” he said admiringly as the other man set to eating.

“T’aint no sandwich,” sneered Jayne around a mouthful. He held his creation up before him. “This, is a big, damn Hero!”

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A/N: Thanks go to my husband, who gave me the idea of takin’ this in a direction I hadn’t considered, and suggested I start with Jayne and Book makin’ a hero sandwich. This was the result. :o)