LIKE THE FANCY FOLK

Jayne had been sitting in his quarters, assembling and disassembling Vera for hours. He had a lot on his mind. Well, he had one thing on his mind.

River.

He didn’t know what to do about her.

Their courtship had been going on for months.

She was smarter than he was. She was deadlier than he was. She was young enough to be his daughter.

And for the first time in his life, he found himself head over heels in love.

He loved her brain. He loved her deadliness. He loved her youth.

He loved her as much as he did Vera!

Which brought him to what he was thinking about.

He wanted to … well, he wanted to sport with her. Hell, he’d even kiss her. As a matter of fact, he’d kissed her many times. And he liked it. Her lips were full and soft and his brain did amazing things when his lips met hers. Other of his parts liked it too.

He was worried she’d think him an oaf if they did anything more. He was big and hairy and not at all like that fancy brother of hers. He wasn’t sure how fancy people did it but he was pretty sure it bore no resemblance to how he did it.

He wished Inara were onboard. He could ask her maybe.

He looked up and smiled.

“I’ve got it!” He’d ask Kaylee. She and Simon were all over one another these days and she was just a plain old farm girl. She’d know how fancy folk did it!

He put Vera back together and rubbed his hands on his pants and headed for the engine room.

Kaylee was under the engine fiddling with something.

“Kaylee! I gotta talk to ya!” He entered the room with his usual quiet.

She peeped out, grease on her forehead and a scowl on her pretty face. “I’m kinda busy. Trying to make her hold together until Mal can buy her some parts.”

“But this is real important.”

She rolled out and stood up, dusting herself off as she did.

“What’s so all fired important, Jayne?” She was irritated but that didn’t bother him in the least. In fact, everyone was usually irritated with him and it seldom bothered him at all.

“What is Simon like in the sack?”

She opened her mouth then closed it, for once, at a loss for words.

“Y—you want to have sex with Simon?” She squeaked out the words.

“No, silly. I want to have sex with River.” He said it as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

“But Simon is a man. How would that help you know how River is?” Kaylee looked truly puzzled.

“I want to know how them fancy folk do it!” He was getting exasperated with her now. She was just being thick!

“Like anyone else, I reckon. How did you s’pose they did it?”

“Well, me and you are always dirty or greasy and River an’ Simon are clean. I ain’t sure I could be clean as they are if I took ten baths a day.”

“She likes you, Jayne. Just do what comes naturally.”

Jayne wasn’t satisfied at all. She weren’t no help! He sighed.

Well, he sure wasn’t askin’ Simon.

Mal? Nah, he’d just laugh at him.

He couldn’t ask Zoe ‘cause he didn’t really know what to say to her since Wash bought it.

He decided that maybe he should just ask River.

River sat beside him at dinner. He thought about asking her then but decided she might not like it in such a public place so he asked her to go for a walk after dinner.

The cargo hold wasn’t the most romantic place in the ’Verse but it was big enough to walk in and be alone, that is if Mal or Zoe weren’t digging around in some crate or box for something.

It was quiet as Jayne and River strolled in and sat on a large metal crate. It reminded Jayne of the night she brought him here to kiss him.

“Jayne, don’t you think we’ve been courting long enough?”

He managed to finally ask. “Long enough for what?”

She smiled and kissed his cheek. “You are so cute. Long enough to move our relationship along.”

“Along to?” He always had trouble understanding her.

“Jayne, I think we should have sex.” She sounded nonchalant but her eyes gave her away as she searched Jayne’s face for a reaction.

He smiled. “That’s what I want too but I was scared that rich folk do it different from people like me.”

She leaned close and whispered. “I think the basic mechanics are pretty much the same for everyone. Besides, Simon and I are just crew like you are.”

He thought about that for a minute.

He stood and held his arm out to her in a most chivalrous fashion. She took it and they strolled back to his quarters.

Later, he lay with River curled in his arms. She hadn’t said a word since they, well, since they did it. Jayne couldn’t stand it any longer. He had to know what she thought.

“River?”

“Hmmm?”

“Was it…did I… how… well?”

“Yes,” was all she said and promptly fell asleep.

Jayne looked over at Vera and said smugly, “I told you so.”

~end~