Leaps of Faith
Friday, April 7, 2006

Kaylee struggles to come to terms with Jayne's life, his past, his job and how their relationship fits around that.


Disclaimer: Not mine, no pay.

Thanks: To Jacqui, for friendship, great beta and encouragement, to Josh the Paramedic for medical info and to Rion, my own personal BDH. You guys are the greatest.

Rating: NC-15 this section, for adult references. Later chapters, angst, violence.

Remarks: I continue to explore the challenges faced by Jayne and Kaylee as they struggle to define their relationship. Set following my most recent story “The Birthday Gift”, after “Objects in Space”. Inara has departed from Serenity and things on board ship are getting more difficult.

Feedback: Seriously, folks, it's what it's all about. Love it or hate it, I crave your comments and observations. Post 'em here or email me at, and thanks.


Chapter One

“Wash?” She asks.

They are side by side up under Serenity’s main console replacing some of the patched cables and hastily repaired wiring still left over from Saffron’s sabotage efforts.

“Yeah?” The air smells of hot flux and solder. “Tzao gao! Ai ya, that’s hot.” He sticks his burned finger in his mouth.

“You’re supposed to be solderin’ the contact, not your finger, ya know.” Kaylee rolls her eyes and clips away a taped power cable, then begins to strip and prepare a replacement.

“Oh that…” Wash shakes his stinging hand. ”Somehow I thought my finger would work better.”

“How do you handle it?” Kaylee’s voice is quiet and she hesitates. “Lettin’ Zoë go on jobs, I mean.” Her voice is tentative, uncertain, unlike her hands, which work instinctively.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, Zoë’s bigger and a whole lot meaner than I am. Carries a big gun. Kicks ass and takes names, that sort of thing? I learned pretty fast she was gonna do what the guay she wanted.”

He leaned over toward her, as if confiding a great secret. "Of course, there are times I’m in charge and get to call the shots.”

Kaylee looks skeptical. “Like when?”

“Well, you don’t see me letting her play with my dinosaurs, do you? And my shirts. I pick my own shirts.” Wash nods his head definitively.

“Somehow I had that part figured.”

Kaylee takes the soldering gun from Wash and quickly connects the cable she has replaced.

“Wash, I’m serious. How do you deal with it when Zoë and the Cap’n are out and you know there might be dangerous stuff goin’ on and people getting hurt or killed? I know you must worry ‘bout her, be afraid a somethin’ happenin’ to her.”

The pilot thinks about her question for a minute, wondering what prompted it and how to respond. “Pass me those cutters, will ya?”

The crew of Serenity have all been though some pretty hairy events over the past few months, enough to unsettle anybody.


He groans. “Oh, god, I’m too old for this. My back’s killin’ me. Can we take a break?” He pushes himself out from under the console and into the comm chair, stalling, as Kaylee wiggles out, too.

Who else is she going to ask this question of? Wash and Zoë are the only real couple on board. Couldn’t have even said that about the Cap’n an’ Inara, although anyone could see they had feelin’s for one another and were just too gorram stubborn to say so.

With Inara gone, she doesn’t really have anyone to turn to. If she’s askin’ me, she must really be fretting, he thinks.

Wash can see she’s not going to let him off the hook, much as he’d rather talk about something else - say, fuel cells or goslings or not ever cooking again. But she came to him.

Kaylee’s sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him, all intent looking. “So?”

“Well…” He turns a plastic stegosaurus in his hands.

“Of course I worry. Makes me sick on my stomach sometimes.” He thinks of Zoë’s close call on Whitefall, other near misses.

“I guess I try to remind myself that she’s really good at what she does and that she means as much to Mal as to me.

Realizing this sounds questionable, he quickly adds, “Although for different reasons, of course.”

“Zoe’s a really strong woman, Kaylee…” He shakes his head and makes a goofy face. “And I love that about her. Strong enough she’ll break me into little pieces if I don’t let her go play soldier with the Captain when he needs her.”

He puts the toy dinosaur back on the console and arranges it and the others in a neat tableau. “Much as I might like to settle down somewhere, maybe get a little quiet job as a private pilot, not have to worry about folks like Niska and the Feds, I know that woman well enough to know that a part of her would dry up and die away from this life.”

Wash reflects on the warrior woman he’s married and nods.

“If I wanna be with Zoë, then I have to find a way to come to terms with all that her life entails.”

Kaylee nibbles her thumbnail and thinks about what Wash has just said.

Can she come to terms with Jayne’s life, his past, his job, how their relationship fits around all that? She just doesn’t know.


They dim the lights to a soft golden glow and Zoë turns back the comforter and sheet. Wash slides into their bunk and she slips in beside him.

“Ai ya, what a day.” Wash rolls his eyes heavenward. “Come here, wife. I need some snuggle-time.”

He opens his arms and Zoë moves in close, resting her dark head in the crook of his shoulder and entwining her butterscotch body with his fair one. He kisses her forehead tenderly. “Been lookin’ forward to this little ritual all day.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Captain’s getting real anxious about the lack of work lately, coin’s getting’ mighty short. Shortage of work means he’s more likely to take on a high risk job and we just really don’t need another one of those right away.”

She rolls onto her side and drapes a muscular arm across his body, smiles quietly up at him. “So what made it a challenging day for you, Sweetcakes?”

Wash laughs. “You mean other than spending most of it flat on my back with my head stuck up the main console?”

Zoë arches an eyebrow. “Yes, other than that…”

“Kaylee and I were rewiring all those temporary repairs we had to make when Mal’s little ‘wife’ ripped out and rerouted the controls and I burned my finger.” He holds up the seared digit. “See?” There is a small white blister on his index finger.

“Kiss it and make it all well, please?” He grins winsomely.

Zoë jokes, “It hasn’t worked on the rest of you but okay…” and she smooches his upheld finger.

Wash goes on, “I think our little mechanic is starting to have some reservations about the prospects of romancing with our resident hired gun.”

“Oh really? Did she actually come right out and admit that she and Jayne are sleeping together?” She’s a little concerned for Kaylee, even more concerned for how Mal would respond. Then she thinks about Simon and wonders whether he knows.

“Ah, nothing so direct. Although, with the noise they make, I figured everyone on the ship must know.”

“Well, Sweetie, I don’t think Serenity’s builders were much concerned with soundproofing crew quarters. Jayne can probably hear us, too, considering his bunk is right next to ours.” Wash makes a horrified face. “That’s an awful thought! Should we take up making love with pillows over our faces?”

Zoë chuckles. “Or I can gag you so you don’t squeal so much.”

“And tie me up too?” They both laugh and hug.

Wash grows serious again.

“I just don’t think I’m cut out for the role of counselor or therapist…” He trails off uncertainly. I just fly things and make bad jokes.”

“The big lunk isn’t hurting her, is he?” Zoë asks sharply, her protective side engaging. She sits up, immediately shifting into vigilant mode.

“Easy there!” Her husband draws her back into his arms and kisses her wide, soft mouth. “I just think she’s starting to realize the guy she’s fallen for works in a high risk profession, a concern I can certainly relate to.”

He kisses Zoë again, more passionately, and she returns his kiss.

“That’s why I’m just gonna focus on little ol’ you right now.”

(To be continued...)


Friday, April 7, 2006 3:24 AM


It's great to see a new story from you!
I like Zoe being all protective of Kaylee and the fact that she & Wash know of the relationship.

Can't wait to read more!

Friday, April 7, 2006 4:00 AM


I've been following this story line all along, and I think this is your best piece yet. You are getting better each time. I, too, like that Wash and Zoe (and maybe everyone) know. Makes sense. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Friday, April 7, 2006 11:44 AM


A great start to what will undoubtedly be angst-filled story of love and pain...possibly the loss of some sunshine too I suspect, hisgoodgirl!

Can't wait for the next part;)


Friday, April 7, 2006 12:12 PM


Thank you, thank you, thank you!

What a shiny birthday treat - new Jaylee fanfic!!!

Kepp it coming, hisgoodgirl!!

Friday, April 7, 2006 4:47 PM


Ah, the 'honeymoon' period is starting to wear off and the 'settling-in and readjusting' period had begun. This is, of course, when you truly see whether a relationship will work or not.

I like that they're invested enough to try, and am mighty interested to see how you play this.

On to the next chapter go I...

Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:56 AM


“That’s an awful thought! Should we take up making love with pillows over our faces?”
“Or I can gag you so you don’t squeal so much.”
somehow, it's just fits that wash would be the one squealing...



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