Disclaimer: Not mine, no pay.

Thanks: To Jacqui, for friendship, great beta and encouragement, to Josh the Paramedic for medical info and to Rion, my own personal BDH. You guys are the greatest.

Rating: NC-15 this section, for adult references and a bit of angst.

Remarks: I continue to explore the challenges faced by Jayne and Kaylee as they struggle to define their relationship. Set following my most recent story “The Birthday Gift”, after “Objects in Space”. Inara has departed from Serenity and things on board ship are getting more difficult.

Feedback: Folks, this is like food and drink for writers. Your comments and suggestions mean a lot and help keep us going. Please post below or e-mail Lumenea@aol.com. Makes lots more sense if you read the whole series – just click on my name and the whole bunch are there, waiting for you.

Leaps of Faith

Chapter Four

Mal calls everyone together around the table. “Listen up, people. We’ve finally got a job lined up. Been a pretty lean spell for us, and I won’t lie an’ tell you I’m feelin’ all easy about this one, but for now, it’s the best bet we got.”

Zoë and Wash exchange knowing glances; Jayne sits up a little straighter, tilts his head skeptically. If the Cap’n’s admitting right off the job is shaky, well, that means seriously shaky.

“So what’s the deal, Mal?” Jayne prompts, twiddlin’ his thumbs in a restless way.

Mall rubs his hands together, then leans forward, plants his palms on the table, and nods.

“Got a contact with a hot load of weaponry that’s been parted from its’ prior owner, namely, the Alliance. And we got a buyer who’s willin’ to pay a good bit over the askin’ price. Should be easy-breezy, turn us a nice little profit. All we gotta do is pick up the cargo an’ get it to the buyer.”

“Sir?” Zoë speaks up first. “Aren’t we asking for trouble hauling Alliance arms?”

“Oh yeah, all we need is to get nailed with Alliance gear on board!” Wash blurts out. “When you say ‘easy-breezy’, Mal, I’m thinkin’, ‘Hurricane’!”

“Captain, I really question the wisdom of taking on this particular enterprise. Haven’t we done more than enough to attract Alliance attention lately?” Simon is agitated from lack of sleep, ever motivated by his need to protect his sister.

Jayne crosses his arms, glares over at Simon and growls, “You ain’t got no input on the work we take.” Starin’ down the table at Mal, the merc asks. “So what’s this job likely to pay?”

“Oh, ‘bout what we made off the last three jobs put together.” Mal replies, dryly. “That’s what makes it worth the risk.”

Wash whistles sharply. “That good, huh? Wuo de ma!”

Zoë gives him a warning look, nudges his foot under the table. It’s clear she has serious reservations. As badly as they need the cash, the potential risks seem too great.

“So, just how hot is this shipment, Mal?” Jayne asks, weighing risk and reward. “And how sure do you feel about our connections on either end?”

He’s remembering the run-in with Badger and the imprinted rations they had to pitch to Patience back on Whitefall.

“Well, our deal is with Monty…”

“Hey, we love Monty!” Kaylee chirps, bouncing in her chair.

“Well, his boat’s outta commission and he’s gotta unload these arms, so he waved us to act as couriers. The cargo is cached and we’ll just load it up fast and skedaddle.”

Mal runs his hand through his hair, like he does when he’s pulling plans out of his ass, and goes on, “And our buyer is a fella by the name of Emerson on Aberdeen.

“Hundan!” Jayne scowls. “You don’t mean Hadley Emerson, I hope. He ain’t exactly low profile, Mal, if ya get my drift. Man’s one a the biggest gun runners in this sector.”

“Captain?” Zoë wants to wave this job off; it’s sounding riskier by the minute.

Mal smiles, all reassurance. “Ain’t no need to get our tails in the wringer over this. Simple job, like I said. All we gotta do is pick up the shipment from Monty on Santo, get it to Emerson and get paid. Pickin’s are slim right now and I see this as a good way for us to get caught up a little, so we’re taking the job.”

There is much trading of glances, shaking of heads. The crew is definitely not behind him on this one.

Jayne mutters under his breath, “Just great. Hadley ruttin’ Emerson. Ai ya, Mal, did the Doc remove your brain while you weren’t lookin’?”

“You wanna say that loud enough so's I can hear you?” Mal challenges his uppity mercenary, eyes narrowing as he slams his hands down on the tabletop with a loud bang.

Sullenly, Jayne responds, “I’m just sayin, I think this is a ruttin’ bad idea.”

Mal stands up and crosses his arms, signaling the end of the debate. “Jayne, like I told you before, this ain’t no democracy.”

“Wash, get my boat movin’ toward Santo.”

+++

Jayne is pissed. He hates it when Mal won’t listen to him, disrespects his input on jobs. He’s had one bad run-in with Emerson and knows that this job has an excellent chance of goin’ sour. That’s assuming they dodge the Alliance patrols that monitor the traffic off Santo.

He’s wonderin’ how long this ride’s gonna last, with Mal takin’ bigger and bigger risks. There are times he hates this flyin’ tin can, wants dirt under his boots and sky overhead, needs a large space to wander. He’s never stayed put this long in any job, always moving on after a few months. But then, he never knew Kaylee Frye before.

He changes into his workout clothes and heads for the weights. Better that than mutiny. The cargo bay echoes with the clanging of plates and collars as he sets the bar up for his usual routine, deadlifts, then curls, squats and as many bench presses as his body will give him. He takes a few minutes to stretch out before starting and sees Shepherd Book, in gray sweats, coming down the stairs.

“Thought I might find you down here.”

“Yeah. “ Jayne steps up to the bar. “Figured it was better’n organizin’ a rebellion. We all know what happened the last time someone tried that,” he remarks sarcastically.

Book studies Jayne for a minute. “You’re really uneasy about this one, aren’t you, son?”

Jayne looks him in the eye. “This guy Emerson’s bad news, Shepherd. Already been through one close call with ‘im; don’t reckon on another if I can help it.”

The merc plants his feet well apart, grabs the weight bar and lifts it out of the cradle, lowers the weights to the deck, shifting into the repetitive exercise that his body demands.

For the next hour and a half, Jayne and Book trade shifts, spotting one another, talking little, sweating in quiet companionship.

His frustration burned off for the moment, Jayne sits on the weight bench, his breathing and cardio normalizing. He takes a pull from his water bottle, then offers it to the Shepherd, who chugs a long swallow and sits down beside him.

“Shepherd, ya know when we was talkin’ the other night?”

“Yes.”

The big merc wipes his face with his towel, drapes it around his neck. “I been thinkin’ a lot about what ya said. About havin’ choices, I mean.”

Book nods, waits.

“I guess I got me one a them choices to deal with and I’m havin’ a right hard time figurin’ out what to do.”

Kaylee goes by up on the catwalk, toolbox in hand, heading back toward the engine room. She smiles broadly and waves. “Hey you two!”

Book watches as Jayne’s eyes follow her out of sight, sees his face soften and the faintest hint of a smile at the corner of the big man’s mouth.

“Kaylee’s a special young woman.” Book observes. “Carries a lot of light in her spirit. She’s a very loving person.”

He goes on, “I can see you care for her, son.”

Jayne leans his elbows on his knees and gazes down the length of the cargo bay, weighs his response.

“Yeah, I guess I do, Shepherd.” Jayne admits. He’s not used to confiding in anyone, much less talking to a preacher about feelings.

He sighs, looks down at his hands. “I just ain’t so sure that’s a good thing for her, ‘s’all.”

“I ain’t takin’ advantage of her, Shepherd. Kaylee’s a good girl. ‘Bout the sweetest person I’ve ever known. We both wanted to be together, although Mal’d probably shoot me if he knowed about it.”

The long silence is punctuated by Serenity’s hums and creaks, then Jayne takes a deep breath and steps off into unknown country.

“I won’t lie, Preacher. I love that girl. I’ve kept company with a lot a loose women in my day, but I ain’t been with another woman in goin’ on three months, haven’t even had the urge.”

“Kaylee’s ain’t got no business livin’ on a ship like this, takin’ the risks we do an’ just getting’ by. She deserves somebody steady, somebody who’ll take care a her and who can build a life with her.”

Jayne’s voice goes soft, hesitant, his face troubled. “Truth be told, I just ain’t sure I can give her that.”

“While I think your concern for her welfare is admirable, don’t you think it’s up to Kaylee to decide what she wants?” Book raises an eyebrow and challenges the merc’s reasoning.

“Well, that brings us hard up against it.” Jayne shakes his head and sighs deeply, meets Book’s perceptive dark eyes with his troubled blue ones.

“Never cared so much for anybody in my life, except maybe my ma. I keep thinking, if Kaylee ever come to know about some a the stuff I done, she’d be rightly horrified. Hell, I’d just as soon she never did know.”

The Shepherd stands and puts a hand on Jayne’s shoulder.

“Sometimes you just have to make a leap of faith, son. If Kaylee’s the girl I think she is and you’re an honest man with her, she’s not going to judge you. Things have a way of working out, even when we don’t see the bigger plan.

He heads for the shower and over his shoulder adds, “And don’t you worry about me telling the captain. That’s up to you and Kaylee.”

(To be continues...)