BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

MANICGIRAFFE

Dino Tales: Deforestation
Monday, April 10, 2006

Before Steve. Before Julia. Before Annie. Steggy, Monroe, and Lucy are sent on their first mission.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2386    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

A/N: I don't own them.

Well, I know I'm supposed to be working on In The Ether some more, but my plot bunny up and hopped away. So while I go out back and club it, y'all will have to tide over with another Dino Tale.

*******

"Are you sure about this, Steggy? Surely the cute and funny god would be displeased with this plan." Lucy actually remembered to keep her voice down as she, Monroe, and Steggy crept towards their target. Lucy paused to rest a moment, sweat beading on her brow as she lugged their latest acquisition behind her. Lucy would never dispute an order from the goddess, but often feared retribution from a displeased god.

"Indeed I am, Lucy. The Amazonian goddess has made her wishes quite clear. We must not fail today." Steggy didn't turn his head as he answered, keeping his beady eyes locked on his prize. The Amazonian goddess had given them perfect intelligence: locations, terrain, expected opposition, and the very specialized piece of equipment Lucy was bringing along. So far, the plan was going perfectly.

"We shall triumph as always, my friends! Victory is near at hand!" Monroe waved his arms in the air, upon which he was immediately shushed by his compatriots. "I apologize," he said, properly chastised, "It would not do to give up our surprise at this crucial juncture."

"Let us hope you remember that, Monroe." Steggy motioned with his tail. "For now is the time for caution. There lies our first obstacle." Up ahead, the other dinos saw the landmark, the final terrain feature before their objective. There were many warnings about this place. The caverns were deep and treacherous, the wind somehow contriving to create a low whistling noise that set their teeth on edge. "Carefully, my brethren. We must not succumb to our fear. Once past this hurdle, we shall be at the target with glorious victory in our grasp."

Lucy and Monroe nodded and started forward, one at a time. Monroe led off, slowly creeping around the mountainous terrain, bracing himself against the stiff breeze. Once past, he firmly planted his feet in the lush vegetation beyond, extending a hand back. Lucy lumbered to him, carefully handing their secret weapon across the divide and into Monroe's waiting grasp. Trade off made, Steggy and Lucy quickly sped past the caverns - must not attract undue attention form the denizens therein! - and began to set up their tools for the final blow. It would not be long now.

"Very well! Places!" Steggy took his position at the head of the secret weapon, ready to control its descent so it would strike true. Monroe readied himself on the other side, gently placing the tip at exactly the right angle to make a telling blow. Lucy placed her massive bulk behind the weapon, knowing that she must provide enough force to drive their missile home with the first stroke. Once released, the weapon could not be recalled and the damage undone. It would attract notice from far and wide as the citizenry of this land came to investigate. They must succeed. There was no going back. There would be no second chances.

"On three, my saurian brothers," Steggy whispered. "And sisters," he added, when Lucy snorted. "One." Lucy bunched up, ready to spring. "Two!" Steggy's voice got a bit louder as Monroe steadied the weapon one last time. "Three!" Steggy cried, as Lucy sprang up and Monroe released his hold, Steggy digging he feet in to send things in the right direction. With a whoop, all three saurians watched in awe as their plan came to fruition. With blazing speed - a speed only a goddess-inspired mission could produce - their missile sped down the landscape, tearing up all in its path....

**

"And that," Zoe whispered, "takes care of that."

Wash woke with a small yelp, his brain belatedly catching up to his newly-minted wife leaning over him. With a knife. He jumped up - they'd only been married two days and she wanted to kill him already? - and ran a hand over his face, forcing life into his eyes as the adrenaline surged. "Lamby? What's the matter?"

"Nothing, husband." Zoe have him a peck on the cheek as she kept her left hand hidden from his view. "Just go back to sleep."

Wash gave Zoe a funny look, his hand passing over his mouth as confusion took over the fear. Wait a minute. That felt....different. With a quizzical expression, he leaned towards the mirror they kept over the small sink. His eyes widened. "Zoe, sweetie? Where the hell is my moustache?"

COMMENTS

Monday, April 10, 2006 6:40 PM

FRELLINGBLONDE


LMAO! Brilliant! A new (and hi-larious) take on how he lost the 'stache

Monday, April 10, 2006 6:50 PM

SHINYFAB


I have to say, I think I've read all of your dino stories and I just adore them. And damn if I don't love the idea of Zoe colluding with the dinos to rid Wash of that ridiculous moustache. HAH!

Monday, April 10, 2006 7:26 PM

SHINYGEEKET


Ah, dino-goodness. All is right in the 'verse. :-)

Monday, April 10, 2006 8:37 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


It's certainly nice to know that Wash's dino buddies were friendly with Zoe at one point at least;)

BEB

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 2:06 AM

HISGOODGIRL


Read this first thing this morning, before coffee even, and damn near peed my pants!

You've got a new fan , MG! Now off to find more dino goodness.

(And BTW, I have an Allosaurus on my workbench I've had since the dawn of time...well, since 1958!).

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 2:09 AM

BOOKADDICT


I love it! I didn't have a clue what they were up to till the last paragraph!

Getting rid of the moustache? lol

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 3:23 AM

LVS2READ


If we can't have another chapter of "In the Ether" yet, "Dino Tales" more than compensates!

Hysterically funny, as always! I, too, had no idea what they were up to until the end! Great stuff! *giggling*

Now, go club that Ether bunny into submission. *g*

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 7:28 AM

SQUISH


OMG, Zoe! You go girl! Nothing like co-opting the dinos in a little game of guerilla warfare (or mustache warfare).

I just love those dinos.

But seriously, beat those muses into submission because we need more "In the Ether!"

-squish

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 10:56 AM

OURMRSWASHBURNE


Gotta love the dino tales. And I'm always happy when people take that moustache away... :)

Great stuff!

Saturday, June 3, 2006 7:45 AM

AGENTRUSCO


great stuff. Ach! the 'stache. Yah, anyhow. I hope you write some more and at some point I will check out more of yer things. I love yer grasp of humor. I try, but lately the angst has poured itself out to me.


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