Author's Notes:

I freaking depress myself. That's all.

This started out as part of the "Your Song" series which I haven't updated in seventy billion years, and evolved into this on it's own. I felt kind of weird making up my own characters, but they're not Mary Sues (Marty Stus?) or anything like that, just necessary evils. Title is loosely derived from Ender's Game, because that's what inspired me.

Italics denote the alliance guys talking. (or, later, flashbacks)

'...' denotes thought, which is only necessary for our psychics.

Feed me! kaylee@kikiroxxorz.com

Pairings are: (Simon/Kaylee, Mal/Inara, Jayne/OC and River/OC) but they're not truly important to the plot. Except maybe the River/Adam dynamic. That's kind of important.

~*~

“The procedure is going well, sir?” “It is in the early stages, but it seems to be successful. The boy’s mind is almost completely clear. We can start phase two by tomorrow.” “And the girl?” “The procedure was delayed slightly.” “Oh?” “She collapsed. Said something about March sixteenth.” A pause. “Do you know what March sixteenth is, sir?” “No, is it significant?” “I would say so, sir.” “You must understand. The conditions for observation were questionable, and neither child was registered at birth--” “March sixteenth was the day Ainslee and Simon Tam were born, sir. Tomorrow is their seventh birthday.”

~*~

When Simon woke up, it was all white inside his head. He had not dreamt. He blinked a few times, rubbed his eyes. There was something he needed to remember, what was it? He pushed his head against the back of the chair, struggling. It came up suddenly, from some dark recess of his mind. A woman with waves of brown hair and glittery golden eyes. With a round face and dirty clothes, smiling. His mother. “Simon, sweetheart?” she said. “Hand me the—thanks, bao bei.” She dropped a kiss on his head. “I love you, Simonster,” she said, smiling down at him. “Love you so much.” Then, without warning, another needle was driven into his skull and she disappeared as quickly as she had appeared. Everything but a tiny shred of her laugh echoing in his brain. Simon tried to yell for her, but as soon as he opened his mouth, a dial was turned and Simon forgot what he was screaming about.

~*~

Kaylee woke up screaming, shaking and crying. Simon, who had been pacing the infirmary, rearranging things and holding a capture of Simon and Ainslee, ran into the passenger dorms. “Kaylee, bao bei, meili, I’m here, Kaylee, shhh, I’m here, I’m here, shhh, what’s wrong?” Kaylee clung to Simon’s shirt, unable to find the words. Simon held her, rocking and whispering soothing words until she eventually drifted back into coherence. “It’s their birthday,” she managed before she was lost again. Simon made a choked noise, “It’s their birthday,” he agreed. Gently, he untwisted Kaylee’s fingers from his shirt. “Do you want to see what I bought them?” he asked softly. Kaylee’s head bobbed slightly and Simon stood up. “I have to go get it,” he explained. He returned a few seconds later, arms laden with extravagantly wrapped presents. “There’s a cake in the kitchen…a building set in this one…a necklace for Ainslee…their own music for the shuttle…” Simon’s hands started to shake. “…and a capture from that picnic we had on Beaumonde,” he finished, burying his face in his hands. “Oh, God.” Kaylee sat up. “I bought Ainslee a first aid kit,” she said slowly. “And Simon a scale-model engine.” She started to cry again. “An’ I invited everyone from Beaumonde…and…I made cupcakes.” She couldn’t catch her breath. “Bought balloons and streamers. Why couldn’t they have just waited two more days, damn it?” “Kaylee?” She looked up at him. “You know…I forgot to tell them I loved them before we left the ship.” Simon blew his nose. “And now…I might never have the chance. Kaylee, what if they got taken away thinking their daddy didn’t love them? What if I’m just like my father, Kaylee?” “You ain’t.” Kaylee wrapped her arms around him. “Like your father. Simon and Ainslee know…” she swallowed hard. “Knew you love them. And I promise…Oh, I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore.” She curled up on the bed. “Simon?” He lay down next to her. “Mmm?” “I don’t want ‘em to be hurt.” She traced a pattern on his chest. “There’s this little voice in my head that keeps sayin’ that I’m bein’ selfish, and I should be happy that I’ll have ‘em back at all…It ain’t the same, is it?” Simon considered how to answer this. “No. It’s not the same. For the first few weeks after I got River out, all I wanted was my little sister back. I would have done anything to have that little brat back. Anything. And then I started accepting the fact that I’d never exactly have my little sister back in her entirety, and as soon as I started accepting it, she started getting better. Or maybe I just thought she was getting better because I stopped focussing on the things that were different about her and started focussing on the things that were still the same. And if…” Kaylee whimpered. Simon kissed her forehead. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, Kaylee. Adam and I talked about it. He said that there’s always a chance that they won’t get out. Maybe I’ll get lucky twice. Hell, I hope I get lucky twice. But sometimes it doesn’t happen. I don’t want to get my hopes up any more than you do, Kaylee. So if they come home, it’s going to be hard for a little while. Especially if it’s…as bad as Adam says. But eventually, it will get easier. And we’ll still love them both as much as we did the moment they left us.” Kaylee nodded, and Simon took her hand. “How are you feeling right now?” he asked, desperate to change the subject. “I’m okay.” “You haven’t eaten at all since yesterday morning, have you?” “Neither have you,” Kaylee pointed out. “I’m not the one who’s eating for two,” he teased gently. “Come on. We’ll go get something to eat.”

~*~

River and Adam were sitting in the kitchen when Kaylee and Simon walked in. “Morning,” Adam said. “Good morning,” Kaylee replied, pretending to be cheerful. Simon didn’t even look up, and instead immediately set to work making breakfast. “Ainslee’s okay,” River said suddenly. Kaylee looked surprised. “Ainslee’s what?” “I can still get through to her. They haven’t done anything to her yet.” “What about Simon?” River stood very still. “‘They taked him.’” She whimpered. “‘He went away.’” “Tell her…tell her I love her. And that we’re coming.” “ ‘I love you, Mommy. I--’” River stopped suddenly, seeming to “snap” back into reality. “River?” Kaylee asked tentatively. “What…what happened?” “They’ve got her,” River mumbled, falling into the chair.