BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

BRAINSPECIALIST

Still Not Captain
Saturday, April 15, 2006

I was reading the secret diaries of Lord of The Rings (Very, very funny! http://www.bellaonline.com/misc/lotr/index.asp), and I decided to write my own about Mr. Cobb during the Big Damn Movie. Big Whoop. Humour abound.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2208    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Monday

Got new job.

Argued about grenades.

Doctor angry at Mal.

Crazy sis coming along.

Attacked by Reavers.

Harpoon through leg. Ow.

Doctor patched me up. OW.

Complained about grenades.

Doc hit Mal. Woo.

Threatens leaving. Woo!

Carries through.

Shiny.

Still not Captain. *** Tuesday

Landed. Doc left.

Wore hat. Looked cunning.

River kicked ass. Cool.

Hit guy. Go me!

Hit me with table. Ouch.

Psychopathic bint.

Doc comes back. Not shiny.

Mal brings River on board with him.

Probably sleeping with her.

Bints.

Still not Captain. *** Wednesday

Went to Haven. Said hello to Book.

I think he was checking me out.

Showed off Vera. Shiny.

Mal talks to Book about binty.

Played guitar. Yay!

Played ‘Hero of Canton’. Pushed luck.

Talked to Book about if he gets to watch Porn.

Got drunk. Lost money.

Fell over. Slept. Shiny.

Still not Captain. *** Thursday

Mal rescued Inara. Hot!

Got drunk. Yes!

Tried to shoot the crazy bint. Woo!

She shot me. V. Sore.

Apparently, also hit doc. Shiny.

Showed us Miranda.

Bloody stupid name.

Still not Captain. *** Friday

Go to Haven. Book and others dead. Poo.

Mal shot Alliance arse. Yes.

Fix bodies to ship.

Met Reavers. Screaming. Ew.

Went to Miranda. Lots of dead guys. Not my fault.

Needed decorators. No Feng Shui.

Cleaned Vera. Shiny.

Chased by Reavers and shot at by Alliance.

Wash dead. No more Hawaiian shirts. Woo!

Used grenades. Go me!

Shot Reavers. Yes!

Got shot. No!

Zoe stabbed, Kaylee+Simon shot. Mal gone to tell world about Miranda.

Might become captain.

Psychopathic bint saves day. Yay/Boo.

Everyone lives. Damn.

Bloody doctor.

Still not Captain. *** Saturday

Buried Wash, Book and Mr. Universe. Good names. Cried. Not in public.

Helped fix Serenity. I look hot when sweaty. Ooh!

Sunny. Caught tan.

Helped remove cannon with Mal. Brownie points! Might make Captain!

Sadly not.

Watched Kaylee and the doc make out and do it.

Got disgusted with myself.

Came back with camera. Shiny.

Kaylee has a nice pair on her. Hot!

Might get lucky with her one day. V. happy at prospect.

Left bloody awful planet.

Got drunk. Shiny.

Still not Captain.

COMMENTS

Saturday, April 15, 2006 8:33 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


ROFL....this was hilarious! Though I gotta nitpick about Jayne using "bint"....seems a might too Badger/Dyton Colony-like for Jayne to be spouting it.

BEB

Friday, April 28, 2006 4:29 PM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN


that was V. funny need more

Monday, May 1, 2006 5:47 PM

SILLYLITTLEDUCK


i loved this, honestly it was rather funny, i love the yay/boo about crazy saving the day. very funny

Saturday, June 24, 2006 4:48 AM

BELLONA


Watched Kaylee and the doc make out and do it.
Got disgusted with myself.
Came back with camera. Shiny.
oh, jayne...*shakes head*

b

Monday, June 26, 2006 1:56 PM

WILDHEAVENFARM


Saturday is too funny.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007 3:09 AM

CRYSTALKEI


Mal brings River on board with him.


Probably sleeping with her.


haha! hilarious!


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