Wash’s sleeping form stirred, and he rolled onto his back, finally opening his eyes. Mal watched closely as he blinked to clear his vision, his head jerking bolt upright as he spotted Danny dangling from a string above his nose. Wash’s head sank back down and he looked to the side, glaring accusingly at Mal.

“Thought maybe you was feelin’ lonely,” said Mal with a straight face. Wash chuckled. “Figured you could maybe use a pet to keep you company.”

Wash’s sleepy grin sobered as he sat up. “Don’t worry, Mal,” he said quietly. “I’m not one for grudges, just get – kinda - overwhelmed sometimes.”

Mal nodded, sighing in relief and wondering if his cheerful new friend had any idea how much of a lifeline he was. He gave Wash an uncertain smile. “You ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. Might punch you or give you advice on how to gut sturgeon, but as you pointed out, your options for sage counsel are a mite limited.”

Wash laughed. “Got any advice on how to escape from an Alliance internment camp using only a dead spider on a string?” he asked.

Mal feigned a punch, and Wash ducked with surprising speed, throwing his entire body backwards and throwing his hands up in the air, a flash of fear crossing his face before a delighted chuckle took over.

“Hey,” protested a sleepy voice from across the room. “Will you two stop with the flirting? Some of us want our beauty rest.” Matty’s grin belied any harshness in his words.

“Don’t be jealous, sweetheart,” quipped Wash with a grin. “Don’t you trust me?” Matty glared and hurled a bundled pair of socks at Wash’s head.

“Not. Fair.” came a drowsy grumble from Gray’s bunk.

Lance Straaker sat up and addressed the room with a booming voice that startled Mal. “Mal, I understand you’re new here, so you don’t know my policy on unprofessional behavior. We are soldiers, and I’m sure you’ll agree that we must conduct ourselves as such.”

Mal blinked and stared in Straaker’s direction, coming to the startling conclusion that the man wasn’t joking. He raised one eyebrow and glanced rapidly between Wash and Matty, a look of comical disbelief on his face. Wash rolled his eyes and shrugged, and Matty chuckled.

“Lieutenant!” snapped Straaker, glaring at Maddy. “What sort of example do you think you’re setting, son?”

“Just trying to keep morale up, Commandant,” said Maddy sarcastically. Mal couldn’t contain a snort of laughter at Maddy’s reply, and earned himself a scathing glare from Straaker.

“You,” said Straaker, pointing at Mal and standing. “Outside. Now.”

Mal contained a flash of anger. “I got plenty of folks to order me around. Not lookin’ for another."

“That’s an order, son,” said Straaker, his condescending tone cementing his status in Mal’s mind as someone not to be taken seriously. “I try not to remind people of this, but I am the ranking officer in this compound. That makes me, in fact, your superior officer.”

Mal feigned a look of concern as he turned to Wash. “Poor fella must not realize our military doesn’t so much – um…..exist any longer.” Wash bit his lip to force back a laugh and turned away.

Straaker turned and stormed silently out of the building, slamming the door behind him.

“Thanks from your friendly local fly on the wall,” said Zeke Hamilton, emerging from a feigned sleep. “I have to say that might just have been the most entertaining thing I’ve seen all week.”

“Happy to amuse,” replied Mal. “Now will someone please tell me that wasn’t for real?”

“Oh, he’s for real, all right,” muttered Gray.