Jayne lay restless in his bed. His stomach growled loudly. “Gorramn it stomach shut up. Can’t ruttin sleep with you growling like that!” Jayne barked at his belly. His belly didn’t listen. He was hungry, an honest day of thieving always gave him the munchies. He crawled out of bed and up his bunk ladder. He peeked into the bridge. He saw that Wash wasn’t up there. He peeked into the infirmary. He saw Prissy wasn’t there. He checked the cargo bay. There was no sign of Mal or Zoë. He checked Inara’s shuttle the door was closed. Damn. He checked the commons. No sign of Crazy or the preacher. Finally Jayne checked the engine room. No Kaylee. Finally things are looking his way. His stomach growled again. “Stow it stomach! I’m a feed you soon enough. I had to make sure the coast was clear.” Jayne quietly crept into the kitchen. It too was empty. He went into the cupboards. “Now where did I put ya?” He looked throw the top cupboards. Nothing. He looked in the bottom cupboards. Nothing. “Gorramn it!” Jayne was getting frustrated. He had been able to sneak aboard a hodgeberry pie. He was amazed how he was able to get it past Wash. Little man was worthless when it came things like fighting, but could smell food from a mile away. Now if he could only find his pie. He checked the cupboards again. Jayne slammed the last cupboard. “Where’s my ruttin pie!” Jayne yelled. River came around the corner. She had purple smudges all over her face. “Some how it broke down then traveled through the esophagus by means of peristalsis to the stomach.” She handed him the empty pie tin. Jayne looked solemnly at the empty tin. “Huh?” She grinned. “I ate it.” River turned and left. Jayne rubbed his finger around the tin hoping to get a least a taste of his pie. “Poor thing…didn’t even get to taste ya before Moonbrain got to ya.” He managed to get a little on his finger. He tasted it. “Hey Doc you owe me a pie!” Jayne yelled as he headed to Simon’s bunk.

******** Coming home from work tonight, already tasting my last piece of apple pie on the car ride home. Got home and no pie. Someone ate my ruttin pie!