with apologies to Robert Heinlein for the bastardation of one of his titles...

This is the first in what I hope to be a long running fanfic, with several ideas inspired by other non completed fics on this site. I hope you enjoy it, and please leave feedback, as it will most assuredly be helpful.

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Good gorram, that girl could fly a spaceship.

Mal sat in the co-pilot seat on the bridge, while River had her hands on the main controls. It was only out of habit that Mal sat in the co-pilot seat, as River had been flying this boat by herself for a week solid. Mal thought she was ready for this job, and Simon hadn’t even protested, much. Truth is, Simon had been a lot happier since the battle with the reavers two weeks ago, and no one on the ship had any doubts as to why. More than once Mal had heard the sounds of their incessant humping.

“I have to hear it too, “ River said softly, not taking her eyes off of the approaching planet. “His bunk is right across from mine.”

Damn, but that was still more’n a little creepy. “Don’t go looking too deep, little albatross. There’s things there that no one needs to see.”

River smiled knowingly to herself, adjusting the thrusters to bring the ship gracefully into the planet’s atmosphere. She was very skilled, despite having just picked it up. Intuitive, that’s what Simon had called it.

“The city we are looking for is called…”

“Athenia,” River blurted out, not missing a beat. “It’s surrounded by lush green forests and 3 different natural hot springs.” It sounded almost as if she were reciting a travel brochure.

“Put her down in the clearing to the north of town, that’s where the lot is that we are going to get off.”

Mal watched for a moment, thinking that this girl was damn near as good as Wash, and with enough practice, she would surpass him someday. He then left the bridge before they got too close to the ground. One thing Wash had on her was a style of landing so as to not scare the ruttin’ piss out of anyone watching.

“Stay here, and wait for my signal. Should everything go according to plan, your part in this little job should be relatively easy, and just like we practiced.”

- - -

As the ship broke atmo, Inara’s shuttle broke off in it’s own orbit. Mal had watched her fly away, until her shuttle was a speck on the horizon. As confusing as her staying with Serenity had been, he didn’t have time to think on that right now. Just focus on the job at hand, maybe things would go according to the gorram plan this time…

- - -

Zoe met Mal in the cargo bay, pistol holstered on her hip. Kaylee and Simon were there too, dangerously close to each other, as was Jayne, already decked out in his ‘train-hopping’ gear.

Mal had already talked to them, immediately after the first time he had gone to take a shower and found them both inside, goofy grins on their blushing faces as they made to leave together. He really didn’t have a problem with the two of them doing what they were doing, as it made both of them happier than, well, than he had ever seen them. No, Kaylee was just about this happy when she “fixed” the engine on her first day and replaced Bester. The agreement that they had settled on was that they could keep it up so long as it did not interfere with a job. He gave them a quick, cool stare, then headed down the ramp, Zoe following in stride.

“See you soon, and good luck!” Kaylee said to them as she hit the button to raise the ramp. She turned to smile at Simon, gave him a peck on the cheek, then bounced off to the engine room, ready to make any necessary tweaks at a moment’s notice.

Simon watched her shapely rear until it was out of sight, then headed to the com to tell River the cargo door was shut. Before he was halfway there, the ship started to lift from the ground. He looked at Jayne, and they both shrugged, and as Simon wandered off to await his part in the job, he heard Jayne mutter, “Crazy moonbrained girl…”

- - -

She had watched Simon and Kaylee a total of three times, and experienced it from both points of view another half a dozen. She was very happy for Simon, as he had changed a lot. Well, he was still her uptight, caring brother, and she was still his little mei-mei, but he was a lot more relaxed now, and he actually smiled. Watching them in their explicit acts was interesting, as was experiencing them from both points of view. She had been surprised to learn that Simon ended up being one of the best that Kaylee had ever had, once he had managed to let her know exactly how he felt. What a boob. There had only been one time that she had even come close to experiencing the physical act herself, long ago, buried deep, in the darkest memories of the unmentionable place. Thinking about it, she shuddered....

.......

It was several years ago, in the top-secret non-existent Blue Sun labs, hundreds of meters below the surface of that tah mah de of a planet. The guard had her alone, and she was bound and gagged. She didn't stand to put up much of a fight. He closed in on her, alone with her in the metal box of a room she was kept in. His breath, rancid, like bad meat. His clothes smelled of death and gunpowder. Lust, driving sexual desire, rape, pain, all flooding through his mind. He was molested repeatedly as a little boy, made to do horrible things. Now he had the power, and wu de tyen ah if he wasn't going to use it. He grabbed her by the shoulders, started to force her down...

It was the first time she had ever killed anyone. Before combat training was implanted, before the nightmares, she had only been here for a few days. At that point, she had no idea how she did it, just that he was alive and on top of her one second and thrown against the wall like a ragdoll the next, falling into a pile on the floor.

.......

She knew they were onto her trail. Since the Miranda broadwave, being as public as it was, they had picked up her scent. They were inhumanly good at finding even the slightest hint of a trail, and they had more than enough evidence at the installation on Mr. Universe’s moon. They had to keep moving, be extra careful, and try to keep from leaving too obvious of a trail. That meant no killing, and no high profile robberies, which was exactly what they were doing now. Somehow she had to explain to all of them, to Mal at the very least, the magnitude of the danger they were all in, because of her…

“Two by two, hands of blue, two by two, hands of blue…” she barely whispered in a singsong voice as she flew Serenity to the rendezvous spot.

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pt 02

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Translations (from http://fireflychinese.home.att.net/episode.html ):

mei-mei: little sister

tah mah de: mother fucker

wu de tyen ah: dear god in heaven