with apologies to Robert Heinlein for the bastardazation of one of his titles...

previous story segment: pt 01

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This job, like so many before it, had come their way largely by luck, of the 'being in the right place at the right time' variety. After overhearing a drunken bar patron let slip his plans to lift this cargo, Mal had instructed Jayne to perform his job as PR specialist and take the guy out back for a talk. Thinking back on it, Jayne usually conducted PR conferences with his fists rather than words, but it got the job done.

Zoe and Mal sat together in an empty isle, the rest of the car sparsely peppered with a dozen or so other passengers. They traveled under assumed newlywed names again, but anyone who took the time to scrutinize the couple could see that they were awfully stiff and not touching nearly as much as newlyweds are wont to do. As they passed through a tunnel, the pair got up and headed to the back of the train.

'At least there won't be an Alliance patrol on board this time,' Mal thought to himself, smiling at the memory of their all-to-close escape last time. One of the hurdles of this job, and Mal suspected many of the jobs that they would be taking from here on out, was that there was a small band of mercenaries that had been employed to protect the cargo that Mal and Zoe were after.

"Sir, I don't like the situation," said Zoe, tight-lipped as always. "We don't know how many of them are on the train. That guy in the bar would have told Jayne anything after the interrogation he was giving him."

"Zoe, there's always something. I'm just ruttin' glad there's no Alliance patrol on board this time, because they would be much more of a hindrance this time around. Let's get to work, we'll be out of this tunnel in a couple of minutes."

- - -

Simon held the controls to the winch as well as the bottom cargo bay door. Jayne was in his gear and getting attached to the 4 heavy chains they were going to use this time.

River guided Serenity over the mountain the train was now passing through, having matched speed with the train before it entered the tunnel. This job was going to be a matter of timing, as once the train left the tunnel it was only 10 minutes from Olympus, where the cargo they were after would be dispersed in 20 different directions, making it difficult to track it all down.

She narrowed her eyes and concentrated, mind focused on the job at hand so as to not have to focus on the images from her past that kept trying to surface.

As the train emerged from the tunnel, Simon opened the bottom cargo hatch, with Jayne and 4 very heavy chains attached to the winch. He nodded at Jayne, who prepared himself to jump onto the swiftly moving train below.

- - -

As Mal and Zoe made their way through passenger compartments and even the dining car, Mal couldn't help but think of the only other time they had attempted a job like this. That brought only one face to mind. Niska. Even though they routinely checked for his skyplex every time they approached a planet, Mal still harbored the resentment at himself for not ending that tah mah de-ing zhu tou sha gua.

They made it to the end of the last car, and after going through the back door, Zoe stopped and pulled a thin metal strip out of a belt pouch. Smiling slightly at the trick she had taken from that bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-ro Saffron, she applied the sticky back to the wall where the door would close to. She pulled of the activator strip, waited a second for the glow that would tell her the strip was in working order, then closed the door tightly as the strip welded itself to both surfaces.

Meanwhile, Mal had taken a small torch from his bag to perform the opposite procedure on the lock of the door of the last car. There was no getting around this, as they had not had time to find and purchase a key or workaround for the door. Hopefully the sound was not loud enough inside to arouse the interest of anyone who might be playing guard. He heard the sounds of Serenity overhead as he cut through the last bit of the lock.

Drawing his pistol, he opened the door and entered, not surprised to find two armed men inside, one of whom was staring at him down the barrel of a gun. They fired at each other almost simultaneously, both bullets hitting their mark in the chest of the opposite man.

- - -

"Something's gone wrong," Jayne said to Simon, angry at no one in particular. “They should have radioed me with the go-ahead by now. Do I have to do the whole gorram job by myself?"

River steadied Serenity over the final train car, getting as low as possible so Jayne could easily jump down. He put his goggles over his eyes and jumped down, landing with a hard thud on the roof of the car. He latched his smaller chain to a hook on the roof, then proceeded to drag himself to the front of the train car by a series of handholds, taking time every few feet to alternate fastenings that kept him attached to the top of the car. He reached behind him, removed one of the chains from the d-ring on his back, and began to attach it to the front left corner of the car.

- - -

Mal flew backwards from the impact of the bullet, driven hard into the rear of the compartment between the two cars. Zoe trained her gun on the second mercenary as he put his hand to his ear to activate the earwig located there. As he turned and tried to bring his gun to bear he was knocked off of his feet by a quick shot from Zoe. She quickly moved into the room, taking the men's guns and giving them quick injections in the neck. Simon, with his aversion to killing, had suggested this. The injection only knocked them out, and kept them alive for bargaining if they needed it. Besides, these people were just like the crew of Serenity, doing what they could to scrape out a living, and killing them just complicated things.

After the injections, she checked, and as she suspected, they were both wearing armor. She returned to where Mal was laid out.

"Sir, you wanna get up and get the job done?" she asked with a slight smirk. They had expected something like this, and she could plainly see where his armor was dented. She helped him up off of the floor.

"Gorramit if that doesn't still smart a bit," he said, rubbing the area where he was shot, which would have certainly been a lethal shot. He pulled out a large knife and began cutting the carpet in the passageway between the cars.

"Mal? Zoe? You guys still breathin'?" came Jayne's voice over the earwig.

"Yeah Jayne, bruised, but still kicking." Mal replied, pulling up a large section of the carpet in the passageway. Zoe had gone to secure the mercenaries, but came running back suddenly.

"SIR! We definitely have hostiles incoming, 3 or 4 from the voices on their radio. Looks like that one got a cry for help off before I shot him."

"Jayne, keep an eye out, we have some imminent hostility headed our way. How far are you with the chains?"

"I got the front two attached, moving toward the back of the car now."

"Let me know when you have them on, so I can decouple the car."

Mal found the catches along the wall and ceiling of the small passageway, removing every other one to make it easier to get away when the time was right.

An instant later he heard the door handle being tried, uselessly, then loud banging and swearing, followed by what sounded like automatic gunfire. Thank the heavens these doors and locks were made to be secure against bullets, the locks being unreachable except by torch or knife. He heard the sounds of seats being dragged across the floor, followed by the soft whirring of the power ratchet they were using to remove a ceiling panel.

"Jayne, they are headed your way. Got those chains on yet?"

"One to go boss, and we're Shiny."

Mal removed the rest of the catches holding the two cars together, so that the only thing holding them on was the large coupling mechanism below Mal's feet. Wind whipped in and around the little compartment, but Mal could still hear River's voice in his ear.

"Getting close to town Captain, plus you have 3 guys almost on the roof of the next to last car."

Cursing under his breath, Mal looked back to Zoe, who had just finished securing the unconscious bodies within cargo netting, in case they had a rough flight ahead of them.

- - -

Jayne was at the back right corner, about to attach the last chain, when he noticed movement on the car ahead of him. He looked up in time to see the muzzle flare from an automatic weapon as several rounds hit him in the chest, stomach, and arm...

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pt 03

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Translations (from http://fireflychinese.home.att.net/episode.html ):

tah mah de-ing - mother fucking

zhu tou - pig headed

sha gua - stupid melon

bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-ro - stupid inbred stack of meat