Senator Ted Cruz to host cooking show on the Food Network by whozit

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Monday, August 3, 2015 8:26 PM

JONGSSTRAW

Of course, the gun range is the perfect place for a greasy slippery floor. And I'm sure I don't wanna know how the eggs get cooked there.

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Monday, August 3, 2015 9:45 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
Of course, the gun range is the perfect place for a greasy slippery floor. And I'm sure I don't wanna know how the eggs get cooked there.

The eggs are episode 2.

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Tuesday, August 4, 2015 9:16 AM

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two

Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
Of course, the gun range is the perfect place for a greasy slippery floor. And I'm sure I don't wanna know how the eggs get cooked there.

Ted Cruz has poor judgment. Ted should have known better, but thanks to Ted's endorsement and help, Texas has a criminal for its Attorney General. Today's editorial from the Houston Chronicle:

http://www.chron.com/opinion/editorials/article/There-was-no-surprise-
in-Ken-Paxton-indictment-6422565.php
We all knew Paxton’s indictment was a matter of time.

There’s little surprise in Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s felony indictments for securities fraud and failing to register with the state to sell securities (“Paxton indicted on felony charges, Page A1, Sunday). The longtime lawmaker’s legal troubles have been public knowledge for some time. During the 2014 election season, political watchers routinely warned voters about Paxton’s record of insider dealings and kickbacks. As we wrote during the primary runoff: “Voters shouldn’t want a lawyer-in-chief who will confront the wrong end of a grand jury on day one.”

It took a bit longer than one day, but here we are at the predictable inevitability of a broken political system.

Paxton’s campaign for attorney general was a parade of red flags. News poured from the woodwork about admissions to lawbreaking, failures to fill out ethics disclosures, lawsuits about breach of fiduciary duty and instances of him investing with companies that suspiciously went on to land state contracts. There was even the odd story about him stealing another lawyer’s $1,000 pen.

This should have been enough to doom a man in a competitive primary race, but serious allegations seemed to matter less than an endorsement from now-U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz.

It didn’t have to be like this. Republican primary voters had a fine candidate in Paxton’s opponent, former state Rep. Dan Branch of Dallas. A seasoned conservative, Branch could tout the endorsements of many legal advisers to then-Attorney General Greg Abbott and support from former President George W. Bush. While in the Legislature, Branch proved capable and pragmatic. “Conservatives have a responsibility to govern,” he told the Chronicle editorial board during his endorsement meeting.

Unfortunately, Republican primary voters saw little to like in Branch’s camaraderie with Texas Speaker of the House Joe Straus, a moderate Republican and tea party target. Democratic candidate Sam Houston didn’t fare much better in the general election.

Now we’re stuck with an attorney general who will be too busy tending to self-inflicted wounds to fulfill the business of his office. Government transparency, consumer protection and all manner of regular governing will have to take a back seat to Paxton’s personal legal woes.

This unforced error should remind Texans that they have a duty to vote in primaries not on the basis of their political allegiance, but with a strategic mindset aimed at blocking the worst that our state has to offer. Until Republican primary voters love Texas more than they hate Straus, we’ll be stuck with politicians who have more ambition than ethics.

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly

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Tuesday, August 4, 2015 10:56 AM

Yes, he's joining Trump on the Inappropriate Channel, right after his appearance on RWGN (Right Wing Gun Nuts, sponsored by the NRA) Episode 1 - Know Your Guns, Lesson 1 - the AR-15 is not a machine gun, idiot!

Fucking idiot, we just dealt with a tragic loss of life (it always amazes me, the right wing agenda, these jerk-offs promoting guns, violence and killing; yet they claim they're pro-life. Does that seem right to you?) in Louisiana and this moron is going around shooting off his mouth (I wish) and his gun, trying desperately to show everyone what a man he is by toting his AR-15. A real man wouldn't need a huge gun, or any gun, to prove his manhood.

But, of course, we're not dealing with a particularly smart individual here, are we? You want to prove you're a man - walk in Central Park after midnight - alone.
Then come see me about being a real man.

SGG

Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:

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Tuesday, August 4, 2015 11:46 AM

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two

Quote:
Originally posted by SHINYGOODGUY:

A real man wouldn't need a huge gun, or any gun, to prove his manhood.

Ted Cruz is Harrison Ford playing the President with machine gun in Air Force One (1997).

Ted Cruz is simply an actor successfully playing a role on TV. Texans love so much how he plays his part that he will be reelected to the Senate. But his play-acting has real consequences, as seen in the 2013 shutdown of the federal government. He does not take seriously the responsibilities of being a real Senator, rather than just pretending to be one. Imagine Ted as President and the USA suddenly discovers that he is a Hollywood movie version of a heroic President. www.salon.com/2015/03/24/ted_cruzs_shutdown_amnesia_whos_to_blame_for_
the_2013_shutdown_everyone_but_ted_cruz/

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Tuesday, August 4, 2015 5:59 PM

OMG! HE COOKED BACON WITH A MACHINE GUN AND YOU LIBS ACT HE SHOT A GAY LION SEEKING AN ABORTION!!

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Tuesday, August 4, 2015 7:50 PM

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two

Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:
OMG! HE COOKED BACON WITH A MACHINE GUN AND YOU LIBS ACT HE SHOT A GAY LION SEEKING AN ABORTION!!

You missed the point. Cruz got a criminal elected to Texas Attorney General. Cruz shutdown the federal government in 2013 and pretends he had nothing to do with that. He's following the path of Phil Gramm, another Senator from Texas, who served a few years, talked about being President, now works for the corrupt corp UBS for millions of dollars per year. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UBS#Controversies

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Tuesday, August 4, 2015 9:02 PM

JONGSSTRAW

Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:

OMG! HE COOKED BACON WITH A MACHINE GUN

Why would any sane person even think about doing that, let alone actually do it?

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Tuesday, August 4, 2015 10:27 PM

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two

Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:

Why would any sane person even think about doing that, let alone actually do it?

There are few things phonier than a politician trying extremely hard to convince you they’re a real person who isn’t trying to trick you into voting for them.

The Ted Cruz 2016 presidential campaign is settling into a comfortable routine of inflammatory comments interspersed with silly man-of-the-people gimmicks. Since launching his campaign, Cruz has called the Obama administration “the world’s leading financier of radical Islamic terrorism,” gone on the Senate floor and accused Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell of being a liar, badgered Secretary of Energy Ernest Moniz about Iran deploying sci-fi weaponry against the United States, and he’s currently working on shutting down the government over Planned Parenthood funding.

When not raining rhetorical hellfire down upon all enemies real or imagined, Cruz tries to be cool on the internet. He stopped by Buzzfeed a few weeks back and did some awful impressions of “Simpsons” characters. And this week, with the help of Independent Journal Review, he cooked bacon with a gun.

Ted Cruz is desperately working to convince you that he’s a cool internet guy, and not a crank loudmouth who pretty much everyone hates. This doesn’t work because no one really expects or wants Ted Cruz to be a cool internet guy. His reputation and celebrity are based entirely on his love for ideological combat and partisan dickery. But he has a strategy to trick you into liking him: find things “the internet” likes, and then tell the internet he likes those things too. According to this article from 2009, bacon is really popular on the internet, so here comes Ted Cruz doing a thing with bacon on the internet. Roughly 98 percent of all internet communication is done using “Simpsons” quotes, and so Ted Cruz does a Buzzfeed video reciting quotes from that long-running cartoon program. Who knows what meme he’ll assault next? Maybe he’ll cover himself head to toe in blue paint.
www.salon.com/2015/08/04/magnum_p_i_g_ted_cruz_is_trying_very_hard_to_
be_a_cool_internet_guy/

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Wednesday, August 5, 2015 5:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:

OMG! HE COOKED BACON WITH A MACHINE GUN

Why would any sane person even think about doing that, let alone actually do it?

Because I love bacon! I'd eat it if it was cooked on my car's muffler.

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Thursday, August 6, 2015 3:00 AM

I thought I was the only one who thought that. Thanks G, you have restored my faith in human decency.

SGG

Quote:
Originally posted by G:
I believe that these Reps "Running for President' (who are they kidding?) discovered that there is a financial windfall for doing so - there's no other way to explain this collection of so many freaks.
Cruz - I don't know what a child molester looks like, but he sure looks like one.

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Thursday, August 6, 2015 3:02 AM

Another country heard from!

SGG

Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:
OMG! HE COOKED BACON WITH A MACHINE GUN AND YOU LIBS ACT HE SHOT A GAY LION SEEKING AN ABORTION!!

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Thursday, August 6, 2015 3:04 AM

Somehow I get the feeling that we'll be seeing Cruz' picture next to the word 'corrupt' in the dictionary.

SGG

Quote:
Originally posted by second:
Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:
OMG! HE COOKED BACON WITH A MACHINE GUN AND YOU LIBS ACT HE SHOT A GAY LION SEEKING AN ABORTION!!
You missed the point. Cruz got a criminal elected to Texas Attorney General. Cruz shutdown the federal government in 2013 and pretends he had nothing to do with that. He's following the path of Phil Gramm, another Senator from Texas, who served a few years, talked about being President, now works for the corrupt corp UBS for millions of dollars per year. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UBS#Controversies

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Thursday, August 6, 2015 3:11 AM