Murder by Snow Shovel by Fremdfirma

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Murder by Snow Shovel

POSTED BY: FREMDFIRMA
UPDATED: Sunday, January 3, 2010 02:20
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Sunday, December 16, 2007 8:21 AM

MURDER BY SNOW SHOVEL.

(Fair Warning: This is a rant and almost certain to be both profane and offensive, you have been warned...)

You know, I used to think it was their own fault when I heard of folks droppin dead shovelling snow, usually and most likely the elderly or folks in poor health.

That was, till I became a homeowner.

Now, we've gone rounds on this issue, but the last straw for me was this weekend, and there *WILL* be hell to pay just as soon as I can physically manage it, even as I sit here, bleary-eyed from pain and fatigue the hate is the only thing keepin me goin...

Does it make sense to shovel snow WHILE it's snowing ? like, repeatedly ? instead of doing it ONCE when that shit stops ? but nooooooo....

Fuckin city bangin on my door early in the mornin, and I work nights remember folks, makin all manner of dire threats of fines and whatnot, so I figure do it and shut them the hell up...

Mind you I have a corner lot, and 1/3 acre so that's TWO walks, TWO porches, sets of steps and a goddamn wheelchair ramp that needs be done as a cherry on top, and thanks to the missus buying "american made" we have a snowblower that worked exactly ONCE before fragging the engine in such as manner as to leave even me unable to fix it cheaper than replacement...

And as you know I gotta prosthetic leg which doesn't fit well cause there's so much damage and am in poor health besides, but fuck it, the missus is out of town, most services want 1/2-2/3 the price of a new snowblower to even do this ONCE, and there aren't any neighborhood kids on this side of the main drag I can bribe... so fuck it, I do it, sure...

And then, bleeding from the tattered stump, wheezing and trembling from fatigue, collapse on the living room couch for a few minutes... darkness falls like a ton of bricks...

*bangbangbangbangbang*
WTF, can't people leave me ALONE, what the fuck do they want, oh joy, it's that ASSHOLE from the city again, I rip open the door and ask him what the fuck do you want NOW, and he starts into his spiel and I hand him the shovel and tell him fine, YOU FUCKING SHOVEL it then.

I crawl, literally, crawl, at this point, to my wheelchair and try to make coffee, but I cannot reach the cabinet, cause I can't stand up right now...

*bangbangbang* FUCK!
And there he is again, with a cop this time all ready to write a citation, who suddenly changes his mind about it when he realizes who he's dealing with, cause he knows damn well how badly wrecked my body is, having practically carried me home one night I collapsed as we were trying to help some folk during that huge blackout*.... he tells mister city person that since I already DID make a good faith effort to shovel it today, he ain't citing me for shit.

*SLAM*
And away they go...I call in, no way I can drive tonight... and then pass out again...

*BANGBANGBANG*
And guess who it fucking is, nice and too damn early in the blasted morning and what do they want ? and yes it's still snowing...
I tell him, ONE time today.. ONCE - and if I ever see him again on my property, imma call the state police to remove him, cause he ain't welcome here no more...

I wind up having to wrap a compression bandage (and overtight, too) around the tattered, bleeding stump to get it into the socket, and I feel dizzy and am starting to see shit that isn't there out the corner of my eyes, but I get to doing it, at a few points having to do so on my knees cause the pain is too awful to stand and you know, actual pain control for once would piss off those DEA jackboots and we can't have that can we *hisssss*!

My neighbor, apparently somewhat anarchic himself and sharing my views on privacy to the same extreme, apparently caught some bit of that while fueling his snowblower, cause he ran it to the edge of his yard, and then down the front walk of mine without so much as a nod or glance in my direction, followed by an obscene gesture in the general direction of the city offices as he shut it off and rolled it away - guess we know where he stands on the matter..

I fall over and finish the last four feet or so from hands and knees, muttering profanities in an endless stream just trying to focus enough not to collapse, and finally manage to crawl, dragging my savaged leg behind me like a wounded animal, back into the house - and now I'm angry... not yellin, shoutin mad cause that's a different thing... quiet, walk-away, reason-has-failed kind of angry, even yellin at someone yer still negotiatin, this is that fearful kinda silence when they stop... and do something else.

I cannot even describe what the shredded end of the stump looks like and I don't think you'd want me to if I could, but it's pretty obvious this little escapade has cost me the ability to work for quite a while, since you DO have to load the occasional suitcase and fuel up the cab yourself, and suchlike.. and imma hold the city fully responsible for that.

And now that it comes to it, who's fucking sidewalk is it anyway ?
The law is deliberately, one might even say maliciously... vague on that subject.

If it's MY sidewalk, fuck em, ya don't like it then get the hell off my property, how ya like them apples... and I'll shovel it when I am damn good and ready, and if the post-lady wants to skip the house and hold the mail till it's done that is completely understandable and fully acceptable, having had that conversation last year.

If it's the CITIES sidewalk then they can very well fucking shovel it themselves, since I pay an outrageous amount of property taxes around here for such lame shit as a sports car for the police dept of a town you can literally spit across, by morrigan they can damn well find someone to shovel one goddamn set of walks in the whole city instead of living it up on my tax dime (good BYE walter, you son of a bitch, I TOLD YOU we'd shove that embezzlement case up your ass crossways, didn't I ?) while plotting to rob me for some more...

This is not a Feudal society, I am not their fucking peon obligated to give them free slave labor under the guns of superior force, and they will either reimburse me for my time, or they can stay the fuck off my property and out of my business unless and until I give specific permission for either one, dammit.

My doc's kinda flipped out (he's pretty pissed at the situation now too) and gonna open me a spot a bit later to save a trip to the emergency room, where he really thinks I oughta be, but knows damn well my ability to pay their rabidly inflated prices for care is somewhat limited.

And now I ponder those old folks, many in poor health, on fixed incomes with no ability or resources to hire someone, likely few if any family willing to help them out... dropping dead while being driven by the lash of government threat and force, and imma call it what it is.

It's fucking murder.

And come monday mornin, there's gonna be a regular boot in the ass party up at the city offices, cause my doc is goin on holiday tonight, and *HE* wants to have a few words with em personally over this shit, and who am I to tell him no ?

And no, even with the tongue in cheek title I haven't considered murder WITH snow shovel, mine's one of them heavy all-plastic ones and it'd just take too much time and effort to be worth the hassle.

-Frem

*PS - Yes, Frem helped the cops distribute bottled water during the big blackout, try not to die of shock...

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 11:03 AM

LEADB

Damn.

That is an interesting question; no one expects you to dig out out the street along the side of your house, but it seems a universal requirement that if there are sidewalks along your house, you must shovel them. Strange... if there are no sidewalks along your house, folk are just expected to walk in the street, whatever their condition.

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 11:07 AM

LEADB

Solution: Move to Wisconsin...

http://www.lwm-info.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7B3D81D4D8-D07F-4F
D5-B668
-712D8C578AD1%7D&DE=%7B47A387CC-9EED-4ECC-AA72-D81AC1C55736%7D

(note, space added to help window width)

Edit: I suppose you could also find out if you are legally required to have a sidewalk along your property, and if not, have it removed.

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 11:31 AM

KIRKULES

Thanks for reminding me why I moved to Florida. Every year about this time I miss the Winter for a fleeting moment, then I read a story like yours and my fond memories of Winter disappear for another year.

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 11:42 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Gotta love all this global warming, eh?

"Hillary tried to get a million dollars for the Woodstock museum. I understand it was a major cultural and pharmaceutical event. I couldn't attend. I was tied up at the time." - John McCain

It is not those who use the term "Islamo-Fascism" who are sullying the name of Islam; it is the Islamo-Fascists. - Dennis Prager

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 12:33 PM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Fremdfirma:

It's fucking murder.

Not quite murder, Frem, they don't want you dead, just nearly. They need our money AND our dancing to their citation bullets.
This is a perfect example of why I say this society and government are so screwed up...

Feel better, man.

Chrisisall

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 4:21 PM

NAFLM

We have the same law here, but the city also provides snow-shoveling services for those who are unable to do so (although it's not very well advertised). Any chance your city has something similar?

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 8:12 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

That's terrible! Can the city guy not see that you're exhausted and in pain? He's a meanie. Thank goodness the cop recognized you (I don't thank goodness for cops very often). Even if he hadn't, I think you'd have a good case for dismissal. Naflm's suggestion is good, perhaps there is a city service available.

All I have to offer is a virtual cup of hot cocoa and a spare ace bandage. I hope you feel better tomorrow. *wishes for a warm and relaxing night's rest for Frem*

---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown

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Monday, December 17, 2007 7:52 AM

FREMDFIRMA

They'll be reimbursing me.

It got... interesting

After walter and his secretary, the school blank check fiasco, and various other issues, noteably that damn sports car for the police dept, the city council doesn't care for me too much...

But I tellya, hearing the assistant mutter "Oh no, it's him again.." from the other side of the door with a sincere and honest dread in his voice as my doc pushed my wheelchair up did amuse me, politicians SHOULD fear their constituents, cause that is who pays them and who they answer to - but only when we *MAKE* them do so.

Basically a lotta wailing and gnashing of teeth, especially after one of the older codgers threw a racial remark at my doctor, who happens to be of middle eastern descent, and he blew his stack on the guy - being second generation and a full born-here american citizen, and a well educated doctor, he lit him up gooooood, and it kind set the tone of how that little discussion went.

They won't assist nor add service for handicapped folk cause it's "not in the budget" and didn't care for the idea (proposed by me) of selling that stupid police sports car or taking a pay cut for it, and I laughed in their faces when they suggested adding a tax millage, pointing out just how much of that is usually siphoned into their slimy criminal pockets, and oh gee, isn't it just too bad walter isn't here to catch his share, and I notice you're short one secretary, yes ?

They WILL pay me 75% of the lost wages from this crap, or I'll do worse than sue, I'll take it to arbitration and not only hit them for this, but to get back my share of all the money looted by the two mentioned above, followed by a full and complete audit of the cities budget and spending practices and the permanent enlistment of an independant oversight board drawn from the citizens and paid for by a 10% cut of city official wages across the board.

When I tossed the arbitration firms card across the desk, it was game, set and match on the spot, they know damn well I've seen both sets of books, know where they are and what's in em, but no one wants to push the issue cause of all the expense, trouble and hassle that would come of it, not the least of which is our whole police department collapsing - and while I wouldn't care, the locals wouldn't like it too much.. yet.

Lotta folks PO'ed about that stupid sports car, and that's gonna haunt em for a while, believe it, given that it's a mustang saleen S281 which cost about $45,000.00 USD... to patrol a town which is maybe ONE square mile in total area and has maybe 3000 people in it, when they're all here at once.

Guess the cops got a woody watching that Transformers movie or something...

Anyhow, they'll be payin up, but will continue to bitch seeing that in their opinion, one really ought to own a snowblower if they live here, and I didn't bother to point out that mine is in the garage with a broken flywheel pin (of a size no one seems to make) fouled, underjetted carb, incorrect spark plug of the wrong length (came installed like that) and no one knows what the correct size is, and possibly a bent crank from when the pin failed...

Needless to say, imma get a used Honda model and strip that "american made" (in mexico, from canadian parts

) piece of shit for spare parts, if any of em even pass QC.

My docs assessment is that I will be out for a month and more, all the medical jargon aside I ripped my stump almost to the bone, tore out a couple muscles in my back and sprained the knee on the good side quite severely.

Not the best end result, but as good as it gets, I guess, no pain control cause my doc is afraid his ethnicity would make him an easy target for the rabid DEA jackboots, and I dunno what imma do not having or being able to DO anything physical for near a month, guess we'll find out.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Monday, December 17, 2007 8:26 AM

MAL4PREZ

Well, I'm jumping up and down cheering that you took it to `em! That jackass could have spent less time and effort clearing your walk for you than he did harrassing you over it. Oh - but that would require human decency, rather than a power trip. Jerk. When I lived in Boston folks had 24 hours after the storm to clear their sidewalks. I can't imagine it's much different where you are. This guy clearly just wanted to make himself feel big by getting all over you.

If you ever talk to your neighbor who cleared your walk, tell him a random stranger wants to kiss him! If I was anywhere near, I'd have come and shoveled for you. Better use of my time than what I did over the weekend!

-----------------------------------------------
hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left

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Monday, December 17, 2007 8:27 AM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Fremdfirma:

They WILL pay me 75% of the lost wages from this crap

What is best in life?
To crush de assholes,
See dem driven to pay you,
And to hear de lamentation of de City Council.

Good on you Frem Chrisisall

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Monday, December 17, 2007 9:41 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Frem

I wish there was something I could do for you.

Having spent most of my life in snow country I know how bad it can be. I swear clearing snow after a bad storm (8 feet in 2 days) was one of the things that made my dad go downhill and brought on an early death.

Get good revenge - as much as you possibly can.

***************************************************************
"Global warming - it's not just a fact, it's a choice."

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Monday, December 17, 2007 9:43 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Rap

You know just how bad you look at this point - right ? B/c all you can think to post is some mealy spiteful snark about global warming.

I think we've seen your true measure, dude. And calling you a midget-mind would be generous.

***************************************************************
"Global warming - it's not just a fact, it's a choice."

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Monday, December 17, 2007 10:25 AM

CANTTAKESKY

Aww Frem. Sorry to hear this, man. At least that cop came down on your side (who woulda thought), and you got a good doc.

Can't believe you tore your stump to the bone. God, I feel for you.

Listen, I don't know if this will help or not. But homeopaths and some regular MDs swear by a homeopathic remedy called Arnica Montana. If you can find some at your local health food store, email me privately, and I'll tell you how to take it. Arnica is great for physical trauma (of the type you just described). I was in a car accident last Oct and had to get 8 stitches on my tongue cause I bit the hell out of it upon impact. Took Arnica, nothing happened. Then made it stronger, took it again, and damn, the pain disappeared, for a while at least. When it came back, I just took another dose.

Not trying to push anything on ya. Just sayin, if the pain is unbearable, and you feel like tryin something...

Here is one from RWED.

Can't Take My Gorram Sky

Aude sapere (Dare to know). -- Samuel Hahnemann, M.D., founder of homeopathy

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Monday, December 17, 2007 10:35 AM

FREMDFIRMA

I'll live, just won't like it for a while.

Me and the neighbor don't talk, not exactly, I mentioned I did not know his name when we were both putting the trash out one night, and I wasn't gonna ask cause I liked it that way...

He said him too, and it's nice to have real privacy for once, cause apartment dwelling and being under someone elses rules sucks ass.

"Ain't that the truth..."
"Fuckin A right..."

And that was that, I think the only other actual exchange of conversation was when he couldn't get his lawnmower started one afternoon, I just banged once on the privacy fence and said "I can fix that."... "yeah ? ok." and he pushed it out the gate, I swapped in a new airfilter and plug, and kicked it back over.. "Thanks."
(Started on the first yank, too)

We don't talk, by choice, but our presence, our "vibes" for lack of a better word, are very similar.. during local elections, whilst I publicly demolish campaign signs placed in my yard, he just yanks em up and throws em out into the street.

So no, we don't talk, but we're good neighbors and friendly enough if just left alone.

-F

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Monday, December 17, 2007 10:50 AM

FREMDFIRMA

CTS, thanks for the headsup, but I think I mighta beat you to it...

I've got a warmed leopardsbane poultice on the torn muscles, which I do believe is the same thing you're talking of here, and the knee seems ok, just shaky.

A lot of my beliefs cross over with pagan traditions, and thus I know a great deal of herbal medicine, I just don't let on about it cause it's annoying to get endlessly flamed by folks mistaking my distaste for the exploitations and abuses of modern medicine as condemning it entire.

-F

EDIT: And according to the Fremgirl I am a brick headed, mule stubborn, iron willed jackass who shoulda just let them cite me instead of being a tempermental, suicidal moron about it and I will post these facts or never get laid again.
*rolling eyes*

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Monday, December 17, 2007 11:46 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

City employees like that make me think longingly of the wood chipper in Fargo.

---------------------------------
Justkiddingisall.

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Monday, December 17, 2007 12:46 PM

LEADB

Quote:
Originally posted by mal4prez:
When I lived in Boston folks had 24 hours after the storm to clear their sidewalks.

Actually, this got me doing a fair bit of reading. The details vary hugely from locality to locality. Some areas, you don't have to clear your walks. Some places give you 10 hours to get it done, others 24. Some places start the clock when the storm ends, some start it when it starts (ie: if you have continuous snow for a week, you better get out there once a day).

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Saturday, February 7, 2009 5:33 PM

FREMDFIRMA

City fines old lady for not shovelling twice.
http://www.weather.com/multimedia/videoplayer.html?clip=13426

What a buncha assholes - she shoulda sent someone like *me* after her city council.

Specially since the city plowtruck blasted that crap back onto a walk she'd already shoveled.

One of the other locals from that town, after I left it, is trying a new variation of stickin it to em, he's hiring it out and then gonna discount it from his property taxes... we'll see how that goes.

-F
*EDIT: On re-reading this thread from way back when, it's almost prophetic considering the direction things took from there, hell, I'm surprised they *haven't* put out a contract on my head, all things considered.

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Saturday, February 7, 2009 6:21 PM

DREAMTROVE

An argument against the city. But even here, the roads, they'll plow a nice solid snowbank at the end of your driveway, and pack it down nice and solid. It takes hours to get through that. My mom can't do it, if no one does it for her, she can't get out. 6 foot block of ice at the end of the driveway. It would only take a min., not even for them to stop and plow that out, but nope.

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Sunday, February 8, 2009 10:18 AM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Fremdfirma:
City fines old lady for not shovelling twice.
http://www.weather.com/multimedia/videoplayer.html?clip=13426

Nanny State + fascist sue-happy mentality = this kind of s**t.

In MY world, you crash, Kaylee didn't make you.

The laughing Chrisisall

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Sunday, January 3, 2010 2:20 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Yes, this is a bit of THREADNOMANCY, but for good cause, not the least of which is a spit in the eye of the powers that be, and my former township, along with a good ole Muahahaha victory laugh, since the folks who wind up doing the shovelling can actually feel pretty decent about what their community service is accomplishing for once instead of the usual make-work.

Quote:
Snow removal assistance for elderly and disabled residents is available free of charge from the Washtenaw County Sheriff's Office work program. If you are unable to shovel your walks/driveway you may contact the Sheriff's Office snow removal hotline and leave a message seeking assistance. Requests are honored on a first-come first-serve basis and you must qualify for assistance. The number of walks/driveways shoveled each day is dependent upon work program participation and fluctuates each day.

For snow removal assistance please call (734) 971-8400 ext. 78676. Be sure to listen to the announcement carefully and provide the requested information.

It ain't perfect, but it's better than nothing, and I have a very long memory when it comes to such things, especially when it gets provoked by watching the elderly struggle to avoid a fine their fixed income makes difficult to pay.

-Frem

ETA: In case anyone missed it, this was the fuse that lit the eventual bombshell of the city council fiasco which came a bit later, and those two sets of books came back to haunt them rather bitterly in the beginning of THAT mess.

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