Battle of the Bat! by Fremdfirma

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Battle of the Bat!

POSTED BY: FREMDFIRMA
UPDATED: Friday, August 29, 2008 19:56
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VIEWED: 1150
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Thursday, August 28, 2008 10:34 PM

Oh this one is just too freaking strange to not share, especially since I can't sleep at the moment...

So there I was, all curled up with three cats flopped on me, about halfway into dreamland, and the little furballs get struck with whatever passes for divine inspiration amongst cats and proceed to bounce up and go scurrying about the room.

So I mutter something in the nature of "whafuk?" and crank open one bleary eye, and barely catch a glimpse of passing flutter.

At first thought, dammit, another moth - as it's not so rare that when one of us gets home late that one of the little mungers slips in with us, usually to be pounced upon, eaten or similarly disposed of by the cats, often making a rather unfortunate ruckus.

And so, I am like... dammit, wanna SLEEP now, and figure to add my weight of fire to the kitty horde to speed the disposal process, and thus, flick on the light, and holy-shit-that's-a-big-moth... oh, it ain't.

So, next thought up, bird, and I better get it out of here before the horde decides to have it for a midnight snack, and still half asleep, shoo them out of my room, close the door, and haul open the window - any bird worth it's salt would be gone in a moment or two and I can get back to sawing the metaphorical log.

Only, instead of bolting out the now open window, yon wandering flutterer zips into a corner of the room... and stops...now...hanging...upsidedown - holy creeping credenzas batman, that's a BAT!

At this point it dawns on me that chasing a bat around the room in my skivvies is perhaps not entirely safe - not to mention I don't want the cats NEAR the thing because they can carry unpleasant things like fleas and worse.

So I bodyshim the door to keep the aggressive drooling horde from creeping in as I exit.

Having utterly no desire to harm the poor critter, a badminton racket is right out, as is anything chemical, and I don't happen to have a handful of grass seed handy to blind it without a trip to the garage, so needs must.

Okaaay, laundry basket with a nice tight weave, yay! - perfect capture tool, heavy jacket, both oven mitts and a motorcycle helmet cause I really don't wanna get bit, and maybe I got lucky and he found the window.

Back upstairs, ready for battle, shim the door, and nope, still here, and pretty active too by the way he's zooming around, maybe I can wear him out, he's gotta be as tired as he is frantic by now.

So I wear him down a bit and by cutting in on his circle by holding the laundry basket up backwards, encourage him to alight on the wall next to the wide open and inviting window, and then gently but swiftly top him with the laundry basket and start sliding it to the window.

Umm, did you know frightened, frustrated bats make an audible, frantic little chittering noise ? *twitch*

Well, they do, and it's REAL freakin unnerving when you are half asleep and trying to simultaneously evict one without harming it.

Well, not half asleep NOW!

Oh, and did I mention this was an itty bitty little bat ?

Who, at the very moment I get lined up with the window, squirms THROUGH the weave, pops out, richochets off my faceplate *GAAHHHH* and proceeds to fly in frantic circles about the room.

Bat - 1
Frem - 0

Ok, plan B... empty margarine container and a sheet of heavy postboard.

Only, apparently Fremgirl has thrown out the margarine containers, ARRRGH.

Umm, umm, umm... and my gaze falls upon the box her motorcycle boots came in.
(she just got her cycle license recently)

Might do, might do... I pull the lid off and break down the edges of the top to give it a wider coverage, and back up the steps, shim the door and he's STILL here, bleh, one could hope the open window was a strong hint that his welcome was worn out, but I guess not strong enough.

And of course me opening the door has him buzzing around in circles again, so I frustrate him a bit by holding the box and lid at various angles to mess up his flight paths and cause him to take evasive action, repeatedly.

He finally grabs a ceiling tile and hangs, prolly huffing and puffing and cussing me quite soundly in the ultrasonic spectrum, no doubt by the baleful glare he was giving me.

I lock eyes with him and in that moment flip the box upright and firmly smack it into the ceiling tile, this time prepared for the actually-audible cussing out (cause that has GOT to be what it is!) that this little guy is thundering down upon my head.

I ease down a corner of the box and begin sliding the now flattened top across to detain this little illegal immigrant, cause yanno, *I* didn't see no green card... and just as I get it alllllmost sealed, the little cur grabs it and starts shoving back!

Now, I don't wanna hurt him, but for crying out loud I'd like to get SOME sleep tonite, so I resort to dire threats.. "Let GO of the freakin box top or I'll let the cats eat your ass!".. surprisingly, he lets go, not for even a moment ceasing to heap verbal abuse upon me however.

And now that I have the little winged rodent secure, the window...

I stick the box out as far as I can manage, and then the thought occurs to me as I kneel there with both arms at full extension out the window holding a box of very pissed off bat... what if he flies BACK IN ?

It is actually possible, although not reccommended, at least by me, to catch the point of your chin on the bottom edge of the window and slam it onto your arms, didja know ? *EEP!*

At this point I simply let go of one end of the box top and increased pressure on the other, causing it to flip sideways, and gave the box a nice quick shove in case further encouragement was required, sending yon wandering wingmouse on his merry way, which for him was only as far as the tree outside that window, where he hung, glaring sullenly at me and silently seething.

I seethed right back, quite annoyed by this point, and overcome by the need to state my position clearly told him in no uncertain terms "And STAY out, ya friggin pest!" as I yanked both arms in, box and all, and slammed the window before he got any ideas.

So I figure that for a tie game, fair enough for me, he's out there and I'm in here and that's good enough for me.

Sorry PN, in all the fuss I didn't think to check him for illuminati assassin tattoos, but some things you just gotta take on faith.

Didn't we actually try to use infected bats as a bioweapon once ?

Anyhows, I'm going back to sleep now... anything ELSE goes fluttering about my ceiling tonite is likely to catch a load of number six from my remington, meh.

Zzzzzzzzz

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Friday, August 29, 2008 1:21 AM

OUT2THEBLACK

Another great story , Frem...You bring us the best stuff !

I have heard the audible chitters...These are the rodents' airborne forces , ya know , with the rodent-y sound effects...

Bio-weapon...Hadn't heard that , but there was a program to equip bats with incendiaries , in the hopes that they'd alight in barns and attics , and set them...alight !

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Friday, August 29, 2008 6:14 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Not to alarm you Frem, but you might want to check with your doctor friend.

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00056176.htm

Since 1980, a total of 21 (58%) of the 36 human cases of rabies diagnosed in the United States have been associated with bat variants (2,5,6).

Consequently, postexposure prophylaxis should be considered when direct contact between a human and a bat has occurred, unless the exposed person can be certain a bite, scratch, or mucous membrane exposure did not occur. In instances in which a bat is found indoors and there is no history of bat-human contact, the likely effectiveness of postexposure prophylaxis must be balanced against the low risk such exposures appear to present. In this setting, postexposure prophylaxis can be considered for persons who were in the same room as the bat and who might be unaware that a bite or direct contact had occurred (e.g., a sleeping person awakens to find a bat in the room or an adult witnesses a bat in the room with a previously unattended child, mentally disabled person, or intoxicated person) and rabies cannot be ruled out by testing the bat. Postexposure prophylaxis would not be warranted for other household members.

http://www.cdc.gov/rabies/bats.html

How Can I Tell If A Bat Has Rabies?

Rabies can be confirmed only in a laboratory. However, any bat that is active by day, is found in a place where bats are not usually seen (for example, in a room in your home or on the lawn), or is unable to fly, is far more likely than others to be rabid. Such bats are often the most easily approached. Therefore, it is best never to handle any bat.

What Should I Do If I Come In Contact With A Bat?

If you are bitten by a bat -- or if infectious material (such as saliva) from a bat gets into your eyes, nose, mouth, or a wound -- wash the affected area thoroughly and get medical advice immediately. Whenever possible, the bat should be captured and sent to a laboratory for rabies testing (see: How can I safely capture a bat in my home?).

People usually know when they have been bitten by a bat. However, because bats have small teeth which may leave marks that are not easily seen, there are situations in which you should seek medical advice even in the absence of an obvious bite wound. For example, if you awaken and find a bat in your room, see a bat in the room of an unattended child, or see a bat near a mentally impaired or intoxicated person, seek medical advice and have the bat tested.

***************************************************************
Global warming - it's not just a fact, it's a choice.

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Friday, August 29, 2008 6:31 AM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

The US Military during WWII developed a Bat-Weapon involving bats as incendiary bombs. The idea was to release thousands of bats with tiny incendiary devices strapped to them over Japan.

The bats would seek out dark spots in roofs and rafters, etc. Then they would light up.

Testing showed that the plan might actually succeed, but as far as I know it was never implemented outside of the testing range.

--Anthony

Edited to add: Oops, I see Black beat me to the punch. I should read all responses before I post. Sowwy.

"Liberty must not be purchased at the cost of Humanity." --Captain Robert Henner

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Friday, August 29, 2008 7:00 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Nah, not really a cause for concern, the cats detected him flying into the room in the first place, and were quickly shooed out before any contact could occur - and I was properly geared for the engagement, remember.

The mitts and jacket went in the washer, the faceplate and laundry basket in the dishwasher, and the box got shredded, seperately bagged and put out with the trash.

I don't believe in taking stupid chances, and was well aware of those facts when I shooed the cats out so quickly and geared up like that.

-F

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Friday, August 29, 2008 7:10 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

No problem.

It was something for you to consider b/c people who think they're only half-asleep are often more asleep and less aware than they realize (I was NOT snoring !).

***************************************************************
PS Yes, I did notice how well geared-up you were.

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Friday, August 29, 2008 7:11 AM

DEADLOCKVICTIM

That's a good story Frem - i'm glad you didn't have the knee-jerk reaction that a lot of folks do and smash his little brain in...

Bats get a bad rap in my opinion - I know they can be carriers of different diseases, but so can humans - so as long as you don't bring em in the, ahem, house with you they should have the same respect as any other living creature.

Myself - well I live in a rural environment - all kinds of fauna and flora right out my backdoor - I haven't met an animal yet that I could not coexist with. A few years ago I built four bat houses - not much really, just a roost, and put them in a secluded area behind the house. On summer evenings I sit on the back porch and watch the little critters come out and devour mosquitoes - (one of the beings i haven't learned to love yet..). I prefer this form of insect repellent.

Down in Austin, the Congress street bridge bats are a local tourist attraction, being one of the largest urban colonies in the country. These are Mexican Free-tail bats like the ones that live around my place. Heres a video:

Some folks have a genuine fear of bats - not to mention snakes, but I have learned that if treated with a little respect and given their own space - these animals pose very little threat.

Anyway - hope you got a little sleep there Frem... and you might want to put a cap on that chimney...

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Friday, August 29, 2008 8:26 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

I think I might have done the knee-jerk thing and chosen the batminton raquet... er badminton raquet.

---------------------------------
Any idea, no matter how much you may agree with it, can be radicalized and employed as an excuse for violence. There is no such thing as a righteous or untouchable philosophy, and when you start thinking that there is, you have become an extremist.- Finn Mac Cumhal

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Friday, August 29, 2008 12:18 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Well, for all that one might well get the impression otherwise, I tend to avoid violence as a solution until I feel it's unavoidable.

Had I not been able to evict him, prolly woulda just shut him in there with the window open and slept on the couch.

While I don't care for humans very much, I'll go pretty far out of my way to avoid harm to an animal, I mean, I was the kid who gave CPR to a cat struck by a car when I was twelve and kept it alive while a neighbor (who later adopted said cat) took it to the vet.

I knew how because I had an intense fascination with them and read every book I could get my hands on, as due to my mothers allergies we could never have one.

Anyhows, wild animal in your "space" is always due to accident or desperation, and doesn't *mean* any harm to you unless they're desperately starving and consider you potential lunch.

Inconvenience and annoyance is never a sufficient reason to kill something, and I might ponder it to soothe my temper, it's an idle threat at best.

-F

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Friday, August 29, 2008 12:54 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Meh, well, we have a rescued English sparrow at home. Poor thing fell out of her nest at a mini-mall. I think she had a light case of West Nile 'cause she was kinda weird for week. Since they're considered "pests" no wildlife rescue would take her. So we're trying to "rehab" her for release back into "the wilds" of suburbia.

But bats?????

Given what I've heard about rabies and bats, I'd prolly get all kinds of creeped out!

---------------------------------
Any idea, no matter how much you may agree with it, can be radicalized and employed as an excuse for violence. There is no such thing as a righteous or untouchable philosophy, and when you start thinking that there is, you have become an extremist.- Finn Mac Cumhal

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Friday, August 29, 2008 2:35 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Quote:

Down in Austin, the Congress street bridge bats are a local tourist attraction, being one of the largest urban colonies in the country. These are Mexican Free-tail bats like the ones that live around my place. Heres a video:

DLV: It's not just the Congress Avenue bridge, either. It's EVERY highway overpass in the area. At least, every one that I've come across.

And it's freaky - the very SECOND that the top edge of the sun hits the horizon, enormous clouds of bats take wing. It's really quite a sight. I happened to be on a freeway overpass north of town, in Round Rock, one evening at just such a time, and suddenly there were bats EVERYWHERE - and none of them were getting hit by the cars doing 70mph.

Amazing creatures, really. I like 'em - but I won't pick them up! The general wisdom around here is, any bat you can pick up, you shouldn't. That's the one that's rabid, and dying. If it's on the ground, it's sick. Good rule of thumb that can help keep you out of trouble with bats.

I get bats flying around outside my house once in a while. I go inside and let them have their fill of any flying insects they can find. More power to 'em. I also have an abundance of toads, geckos, and even some "chameleons" (which are really a species of Anole lizard, but they really do change colors!). It's cool to watch the Anoles go from the grass (where they're bright green) to the fence (where they turn brown), and then back again.

I leave the porch light on for all the critters, so they can have their fill of bugs. :)

By the way, that Congress Avenue bat colony ranges from 750,000 to 1.5 million bats. They eat around 30,000 pounds of bugs PER NIGHT!

Mike

"I supported Bush in 2000 and 2004 and intellegence[sic] had very little to do with that decision." - Hero, Real World Event Discussions

I can't help the sinking feeling that my country is now being run by people who read "1984" not as a cautionary tale, but rather as an instruction manual. - Michael Mock

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Friday, August 29, 2008 2:58 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

I don't have pets in the house (too many allergies

) but I DID get the yard wildlife certified. http://www.nwf.org/backyard/

In my area the direst need is for water. So I have TWO capacious birdbaths - one up high to be safe, the other near the ground for critters to drink out of, as well for the birds. Plus I have a brush pile, and bird food and nesting sites, and native plants for the butterflies. My next planting will be with bees in mind specifically, to try and provide year-round bloom.

I'm probably helping support coyotes, skunks, raccoons and 'possums that some regard as pests, as well as birds and bobcats and insects and reptiles.

But all are more than welcome in my yard

.

***************************************************************
Global warming - it's not just a fact, it's a choice.

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Friday, August 29, 2008 7:10 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Actually I once got a bird rescue place to take some common Starlings...

The momma bird had built a nest in the front of the garage fascia? or whatever the heck you call it, after the wind blew part of it off and I had not got round to tacking it back up, and being the way I am, I just let it be - figured I would do so once the chicks grew up and flew off.

We did notice, passing strange that only one parent bird ever came to the nest, usually there's two, yanno, but in this case, just one momma bird.

Fast forward to some early morning, Fremgirl kicks me out of bed in a total frenzy all upset and panicky - apparently the momma bird is now lying there on the concrete, quite dead, about eight feet from the nest, and Fremgirl can't bear the thought of those poor little birdie-babies capping it, and having no clue what to do... throws it to me, with the absolute ultimatum.
"They must not die!"

Now, I know absolutely jack friggin diddly about baby birds at this point, mind you - and time is pressing, not so much food as the cold, cause it's pretty chilly outside and they're gonna run out of time fast.

The internet is a wonderful thing sometimes, innit ?

And there I am about ten minutes later, standing on top of a wobbly coleman cooler with a pair of kitchen tongs in one hand and a bowl thickly lined with paper towels in the other, slowly, gently and meticulously removing the five little chicks from the nest and placing them in the bowl, which I then take into the back room and place in a box lined with a towel and a hot water bottle.

Now, given my lack of knowledge, wacky schedule, and six cats - I mark the chances of these poor little critters not far above zero, especially with at least one cat in the house who didn't seem deterred by closed doors, that being Kallista, although we did eventually figure out how she was doin it much later.

So, having bought time from hypothermia, there's still the matter of food, since I got no idea what the hell they eat or how much, and the more pressing matter to me seems getting them into the hands of someone who does know what the hell they are doing.

I finally do find a place... but it's over in Ann Arbor, which isn't really that far away, but the front wheel bearings in my car, and both front brakes are shot, and I had deadlined the beast while saving up to have repairs done, since wheel bearing replacement requires equipment I just don't have.

But needs must, right ?

And so I rattle my way down I-94 in the slow lane at 50mph with the flashers on as the front end wobbles and shrieks, and then proceed to negotiate the utter insanity of Ann Arbors traffic patterns and road construction which never seem to ever make any logical SENSE, and wind up at the destination.

And to my neverending gratitude and relief, immediate realize that they DO know what they're doing, which I don't, and I have fulfilled the Fremgirls ultimatum.

As a firm believer in rewarding a good deed, I cracked open my wallet and actually parted with some hard earned cash in the form of a donation (they're apparently charity-run), both to cover the cost of caring for the birds and because when I desperately, critically needed their services, they were there to provide - that holds a LOT of weight in my world.

I don't suppose the gravity of such a gesture from me really gets across till you've seen me verbally eviscerate most charity reps - since most of their charities are just tax shelter dodges and 96% of the money cycles into the salaries of those operating them anyhow.

Anyhow, yeah, I forked over some long green in regard to it, they seemed very proficient, knowledgeable and thus I rated the chicks survival odds at pretty durned good, and thankfully humped it back home without either of the front wheels falling off.

Now, mind that in my beliefs once the ka, the living essence, has fled, a body is just... an object, and I had priorities with the living, so upon my return the mothers cadaver was still laying there, I've no idea what killed her, but she gave everything she had in attempting to get back to the nest, and that deserved some honor.

So I dug a reasonably decent grave at the foot of her favorite roosting tree, and rolled a largish scrap from Fremgirls dressmaking around her as a shroud, laid her to rest there and in spite of my aversion to that belief, quietly sang Amazing Grace for her as I laid in the earth and tamped it firmly.

Funny thing, next spring, another set of Starlings takes up residence in the same nest - in all the frenzy I had tossed the missing piece in the back of the garage and had forgotten about it...

And I wander closer out of curiousity, and sure enough, one of the parent birds has one of them thingies on their leg, making it just about certain that's one of the chicks... so I walk up closer, and closer, and the other bird takes off, but the chick - just sits there and looks at me.

I shrug and go inside, and again forget all about the missing piece of the front of the garage... the chicks grow up, fly away... NEXT summer comes.

Sure enough, a new set of Starlings - once this set moved on, I did put the missing piece back up, but before I did, I removed that nest, climbed the nearby tree and carefully placed it in a new location.

No doubt we'll see another set next year.

They don't really react to me as a threat or danger - they'll fly off on anyone else it seems, even Fremgirl, but I don't seem to bother em, had one fly INTO the garage and perch on the handlebars of a bike I was working on the transmission of, and didn't even flinch when I tried to shoo him off, guess he was curious.

I guess for them, this place is designated "Safe Haven", and I'm ok with that.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Friday, August 29, 2008 7:24 PM

OUT2THEBLACK

Quote:
Originally posted by AnthonyT:
Hello,

The US Military during WWII developed a Bat-Weapon involving bats as incendiary bombs. The idea was to release thousands of bats with tiny incendiary devices strapped to them over Japan.

The bats would seek out dark spots in roofs and rafters, etc. Then they would light up.

Testing showed that the plan might actually succeed, but as far as I know it was never implemented outside of the testing range.

--Anthony

Edited to add: Oops, I see Black beat me to the punch. I should read all responses before I post. Sowwy.

No worries...No harm , no foul...

Upon further investigation , it turns out that the incendiary bat-bomb thing is just a black-program conspiracy tale propagated by P-N...

Ain't no thing , but a batty-wing...

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Friday, August 29, 2008 7:35 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Oh yeah, and I gotta share the skunk story, meh heh heh.

As the relationship between me and my ex slowly collapsed, we were living in a trailer, in a park on 8 mile rd - a temporary lodging I did not care for, but having JUST moved in from Houston, I got damn sick of "where in michigan have you held a job for one year" on lease applications, and thus found a place where a fat wad of cold hard cash made all those pesky questions go away.

Well, sometime during the last month of our relationship, a female skunk had taken up residence underneath the trailer, and me being me, I felt no inclination to evict her since she wasn't doin me no harm.

The soon-to-be-ex fussed about it till I pointed out she was likely to, umm, "strongly resent" any attempt to forcibly send her packing, but by all means if you wanna do it, you go riiiiight ahead, lemme know how that works out for ya, k ?

Anyhows, I sure as heck didn't wanna live in that neighborhood, and thus packed my stuff, paid up the rent two months in advance and transferred the place to her, she was staying in an unused room of the hotel she worked at in the meantime cause otherwise we'd be too busy fighting to get things done.

So I am chilling, real late/early having a cuppa coffee before taking a nap and picking up the truck to move my stuff out...

And I hear a sound that sends me into red-alert full bore einherjar glory charge mode... that being the sound of some dickhead picking at the chain keeping my motorbike where I damn well put it, prolly thought the place was empty, grrr.

As you can imagine, having lived in some rough places, I despise such vandals and thieves with a downright psychotic, almost sadistic passion, yes ?

And so I get a fistfull of wood and steel, and prepare to deliver all nine hells worth of wrath on whoevers trying to make off with my bike.

But in the dead silence of the night, before I even turn round to come flying out the door, I hear this quiet little stepped-on-cat kinda noise... followed by a choking, strangled kind of sound, followed by fleeing footsteps...

And then the smell hits me, thank all that's holy that imma partial anosmic with almost no sense of smell whatever, hell, even MY eyes were watering.

The poor bastard must have stepped on Miss Skunk as she was curled up beside my back tire - my oh my, and she gave him both flaming barrels at so close to pointblank range as it makes no nevermind.

I pondered for a moment setting out to find the would-be thief, since yanno, at that point I doubt he woulda been TOO hard to find, you know - but in the end decided against it, not much I could get away with doin to him worse than he brought on himself that night.

So I contented myself with reading a book in the far corner of the place till the U-haul place opened, and then proceeded to move out, leaving a head of lettuce from the fridge under the trailer for Miss Skunk, and chuckled to myself at the thought that my Ex would be moving in here later that day.

Karma THAT day, carried white stripes.

Meh heh heh.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Friday, August 29, 2008 7:56 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Quote:
Upon further investigation , it turns out that the incendiary bat-bomb thing is just a black-program conspiracy tale propagated by P-N...

Nope, actually happened.

Look under Project X-Ray
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb

I DO remember reading something quite official, also, about using Bats to carry Anthrax as a bioweapon, that came out of Ft Detrick, when they were talking about delivery systems for their new "product" - something most folks would still be unaware of were it not for certain rogues using the postal service as a carrier mechanism.
EDIT: This was originally under prokect MKNAOMI.

Intel folks love to waste your money on ludicrous schemes of this sort - case in point...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accoustic_kitty
You know, had that thought about that seriously even for a split second, they'd have used a dog, cats are natural Anarchists and thus unsuited to intelligence work.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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