No, your Precious Snowflake is just stupid, or lazy, or both. by Wulfenstar

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

No, your Precious Snowflake is just stupid, or lazy, or both.

POSTED BY: WULFENSTAR
UPDATED: Monday, April 6, 2009 08:20
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VIEWED: 2412
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Saturday, April 4, 2009 10:00 AM

When I was growing up, I couldn't sleep because of the noise. We turned on my radio at bedtime to help cancel out some of the other noises. These days I run fans and/or humidifiers whether they're needed or not as white noise. Neither option is perfect but it helped me.

I have a few forums I frequent about this stuff and we're always sharing ideas. Headphones and earplugs are recommended by most of the members.

---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
www.thatcostumegirl.com
www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Saturday, April 4, 2009 1:01 PM

FREMDFIRMA

TWG ?

I've had wonderful results with some of the messed up folk I deal with by using this device.
http://www.target.com/HoMedics-Sound-SPA-Relaxation-Machine/dp/B0009Y2
E42/ref=sc_ri_1?ie=UTF8&pf_rd_r=0S3H4535R9P7AWYN7XGR&pf_rd_p=471801991&pf_rd_i=B000EXTWHA&pf_rd_s=bottom-11&pf_rd_m=A1VC38T7YXB528&pf_rd_t=201

-F

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Saturday, April 4, 2009 2:35 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

One of my SpEd professors recommended giving poker chips to autism children to carry around to pacify them when they get upset. They have different textures and colors to experience.

---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
www.thatcostumegirl.com
www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 5:02 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Oh, so THAT is where they came from and why!

Someone kept leaving the things in a certain place and I've got a little pile of em, guess Emmet prolly wants em back.

Thanks for the headsup, TWG!

-F

EDIT: The Detroit PD has no freakin sense of humor, bastards broke up our pillowfight last night!

Funny thing though, AP wire covered it, strangely enough.
(We tried to get the newscrew into it, too!

)

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 6:07 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Oh BTW- my dd has already figured out the radio thing. In addition to earplugs, she likes to play classical music softly in the background.

---------------------------------
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 7:32 AM

FREMDFIRMA

That is very decidedly strange, Siggy...
Lemme guess, Bach or perhaps Vivaldi ?

One other suggestion, which is what I personally use, cause trying to "drown out" the earthsong is kinda pointless, so I dug around for a pleasant accompaniment to it, without subliminals (which set me into rage-mode) or too much dead noise.
http://www.amazon.com/Thundering-Rainstorm-Natures-Relaxing-Sounds/dp/
B000005T8C/ref=pd_sim_m_2

My current copy is at the end of it's lifespan with a couple skips near the end, and man are those especially grating on a CD.

-F
PS - Here's a direct listen so you can test it and decide it if'd help or not.
http://www.imeem.com/androgyn57/music/jihhWfWo/natures-relaxing-sounds
-enhanced-with-music-celtic-harp/

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 9:21 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Quote:
Originally posted by SignyM:
Oh BTW- my dd has already figured out the radio thing. In addition to earplugs, she likes to play classical music softly in the background.

I used to listen to old blues. Same with homework. Mozart and Basie really helped me get through an assignment.

---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
www.thatcostumegirl.com
www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 11:59 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

"Children who were beaten or ridiculed tend to do the same to their children."

And then - there's the 10% who learn how not to do things from their own negative experiences. I'd like to think I'm in that 10% when it comes to children. I have to admit, though, I have no patience with adults.

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 12:03 PM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Well, at least I started some sort of discussion.

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 12:06 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Frem

That's how they did things back when we were kids - they didn't know about all the ways the brain can go wrong. And it was accepted to use ridicule and punishment. Lazy, stupid, left-handed, screwed-up - you could fix it if only you wanted to. So maybe whack ! you just need motivation stupa dupa. Many got emotionally dinged for things that weren't their fault.

But I've known ill and impaired kids who DIDN'T go through that abuse - and they still do have emotional problems. For as lovingly as they were treated, they grew up thinking there was something wrong with them. And, yes, there was.

I don't know a way around that.

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 12:14 PM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Oh.

And, by the way....

Yes, schools do get something out of claiming autism...

This way, when the kid goes all batshit crazy and retard strong?

They can claim no liability.

CUS, OBVIOUSLY, this kid was autistic.

No Sir, nothing to do with what the teachers or the administration was doing. Nothing sue-able here.....

Not at all.

Also, does anyone actually think that an intelligent, bright 8 yr old would be content to sit in class for 8 hours being force-fed the gruel of info that they pass off as education these days?

Or would that same intelligent 8 y.o., get tired of the b.s and want the frak out?

Just wondering...

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 12:32 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

I can see you haven't dealt with children very much.

Children exist on a spectrum. A child who is far out of the norm stands out. The one who stands in the corner all day looking at the walls. The one who is squirming on the floor and can't sit still for more than 5 seconds. That's who comes to be noticed - children who are far out of the norm. Like Frem's niece. Now whether you want to call it ADHD or developmental Gerstmann's syndrome (and it does make a difference to the child, but not in the broad scope who of is and is not different), the FACT is, she's different from the others and her behavior makes her stand out.

BTW - any theoretical potential limit on liability is far outweighed by the extra money the schools MUST spend on services.

I can't begin to think of a reason why a school would choose to have to spend tens of thousands of dollars extra on random kids just b/c they might want to avoid some kind of theoretical lawsuit in the future - can you ?

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 2:15 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Unfortunately there are schools who claim the extra money and don't actually spend it on services, like I said, I could name names.

And yes, our educational system really needs an update to not only get with the times and take advantage of the information age, but advances in understanding of kids too - even if we have to drag them kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

Both points are equally valid, nor do they necessarily contradict each other.

You're always gonna have someone in there dodging responsiblity, sure - but thing is, it's so much easier to lay blame than actually solve the problems that it becomes a siren song leading right down the garden path to worse.

We CAN do better, and we damn well oughta.
Not just budget byuffing, but where and how it's spent, yanno - pouring money down a rathole gains ya nothing.

By PROPERLY addressing the flaws and elements that make things not run smooth, everyone benefits, even the students without serious issues.

Or, we can keep making excuses.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 4:02 PM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

"Or, we can keep making excuses."

Frem, abso-fuckin-lutly right.

I, personally, am tired of the excuse making.

Blame the teachers.

Blame the kids.

Blame the parents.

How about,

let the blame fall where it lies?

Teachers: Your job is more important than just drawing a paycheck.

Parents: You actually need to RAISE what you've sown. Sorry, but seeding the chick isn't enough. Nor is spreading your legs and popping out a little goober. You actually have to raise and take care of what you've sown.

Kids: Sorry if you weren't brought from the best gene pool. But guess what, not everyone is. You have to make the best of what you've got. Deal with it, and carry the human race forward. And, btw, you are going to have to do it on your own.. cus no-one is going to do it for you.

And to everyone, yeah...there are people who are going to make excuses for the stupidity in people. Ignore them. They are making up for themselves. Do the right thing, do the best you can.

And fuck the rest.

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Monday, April 6, 2009 8:20 AM

FREMDFIRMA

You startin to get it, Wulf, but you ain't there yet...

You can't blame ignorance while not seeking to resolve it, and I been puttin thought into it in between freezing my ASS off out there tryin to cover site three (SNOW, in April!) and workin the edges of domino two.

Part of the parenting problem and lack of involvement is due to two-three straight generations of latchkey kids where the folks were busting ass so hard just to stay afloat they didn't have time to do the job right - now if they HAD it, and didn't spend it, that's one thing, but some folks never had to TO spend - come on, you're one of the few folks around here who knows what it's like when stuff like table salt or toilet paper are luxuries... all hail the mighty yellow pages, neh ?

And so, I chewed on it a while, and hows this for a preliminary model.

Start with pre-school, but instead of a clear cut seperation, have one parent take a four day work week via a tax abatement that makes this financially viable, and make coming to pre-school with their kid the condition of getting it.

This involves the parents, reduces seperation anxiety and allows the parents to guide and observe not only their own child, but their childs interactions with other childen and different environments, while having close parental support will commit a solid relationship with the teacher that isn't distant and adversarial.

The parent also has the chance to establish relations with other parents and their children in a neutral environment which will benefit their childrens relations with each other and the community as a whole.

And, during pre-school is the best chance of locating and identifying serious problems whether they be medical, physical, environmental, emotional, or behavioral - it's proven fact that the earlier you get to them, the better chances of resolution or mitigation, so start screening for these issues BEFORE they become timebombs which destroy an entire classes learning experience as well as the childs own.

I'd have the medical and professional staff involved in this via a joint partnership with the state health dept rather than federal because the feddies can NOT be trusted not to get all soviet about it, and not under the board of education cause that results in "pet" doctors like Bacharach.

By distancing them from the politics involved it will help reduce corruption of the process - far from ideal but I am workin with what we CAN do with existing frameworks and within a couple years as opposed to pie in the sky theory.

I'd also involve at least a minimum of education and support for the parents in the job of parenting, which would be a huge boon to those out of their depth who would be unable to make time for it any other way.

Wouldn't have too much of a problem with the cost, even in taxes, cause we do this right, we'll save five times that much on the other end when we don't have to arrest the little spawn and incarcerate them, yes ?

You can't blame someone for not doin the right thing when they've never had any idea what it is, and never had the chance or ability to do it.

Me, I'd like to open that door, give em the chance - and a program like this would attract quite possibly the very best of teachers, cause on the pre-school, pre-k, kindergarten and elementary school end of the spectrum, that's where you get some of the better ones anyway cause they LIKE kids, they WANT to make a positive impact, and we give them a shot to really do it, they'll be overjoyed.

So I say give them and the parents a shot at doing it right, a real, viable one, and see who does it before we start layin blame.

People will surprise you, Wulf - a lot of em just don't know no better, or are squeezed so damn hard they can't afford to, and by removing those barriers, one can significantly reduce the problems before they become major upheavals that strain the very fabric of society.

Yes, you're always gonna have lazy, inattentive parents, but even so, even WITH those people, by supporting other parents, teachers and even fellow students, even THAT effect can be well mitigated, and likely not repeated even by thier offspring.

We need to stick out some REAL help for those who need it, instead of blaming them for not overcoming obstacles which are realistically insurmountable in the current situation.

That's all I got on it for the moment, but you really should change the angle you're coming at this from, cause you help the folk who can and will accept it, and eventually the problems you're talking about resolve themselves without having to do much about em, once you break the chain, couple generations later, no one's even gonna freakin remember it.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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