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http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iHs5vWk9IO7UiUQ4ub9w
Cv7fpeFQD9AJALL82

A White House panel of independent space experts says NASA's return-to-the-moon plan just won't fly.

The problem is money. The expert panel estimates it would cost about $3 billion a year beyond NASA's current budget.

The plan to revisit the moon by 2020 was proposed five years ago by then-President George W. Bush. It was supposed to be financed by savings from retiring the space shuttles. However, President Barack Obama's expert panel said any plan to go beyond low-Earth orbit was "not viable" with current spending. The panel posted a summary report online Tuesday.

NASA already has spent $7.7 billion on the moon plan, including the design and construction of new rockets.......

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LEBANON, OHIO—Apollo 11 mission commander and famed astronaut Neil Armstrong shocked reporters at a press conference Monday, announcing he had been convinced that his historic first step on the moon was part of an elaborate hoax orchestrated by the United States government.

According to Armstrong, he was forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos, and reading several blog posts on conspiracy theorist Ralph Coleman's website, www.OmissionControl.org.

"It only took a few hastily written paragraphs published by this passionate denier of mankind's so-called 'greatest technological achievement' for me to realize I had been living a lie, " said a visibly emotional Armstrong, addressing reporters at his home. "It has become painfully clear to me that on July 20, 1969, the Lunar Module under the control of my crew did not in fact travel 250,000 miles over eight days, touch down on the moon, and perform various experiments, ushering in a new era for humanity. Instead, the entire thing was filmed on a soundstage, most likely in New Mexico."

"This is the only logical interpretation of the numerous inconsistencies in the grainy, 40-year-old footage," Armstrong added.

Although Armstrong said he "could have sworn" he felt the effects of zero gravity while soaring out of the Earth's atmosphere and through space, he now believed his memory must be flawed. He also admitted feeling "ashamed" that he had failed to notice the rippling of the American flag he and Buzz Aldrin planted on the surface, blaming his lack of awareness on the bulkiness of the spacesuit and his excitement about traveling to the "moon."

"That rippling is not possible in the vacuum of space," Armstrong said. "It must have been the wind from an air-conditioning duct that I didn't recognize because you can't hear a damn thing inside those helmets."

"This is all just common sense, people," he added. "It's the moon. You can't land on the moon."

In a symbolic display of his newfound skepticism, Armstrong then grabbed a collection of moon rocks he had kept as souvenirs and dramatically dumped them into a trash can.

One of the main arguments posited on Coleman's website—that America could not, in 1969, have realistically possessed the technological capabilities needed to put a man on the moon—was reportedly one of the first things to cause the legendary astronaut a pang of doubt. Despite having spent thousands of hours training for the historic mission under the guidance of the world's top scientists, technicians, and pilots, Armstrong said he knew the conspiracy theories were true after learning that website author Coleman was "quite the engineering buff."

"Yes, at the time I thought those thousands of NASA employees were working round the clock for the same incredible goal, but if anyone would know what was really going on, it would be Ralph Coleman," Armstrong said of the 31-year-old part-time librarian's assistant. "He knows a lot more about faked moon landings than I ever could. He's been researching the subject on the Internet for years."

"Literally years," he added.

Addressing another inconsistency brought to light by OmissionControl, Armstrong explained he was probably so focused on piloting the lunar module that he failed to notice that one of the moon rocks visible in footage of the landing appears to have the letter 'C' stamped on it. An emotional Armstrong said that the only possible explanation for this detail was that the rock actually came from NASA's prop department.

"They forgot to turn it over," Armstrong said, removing his eyeglasses to wipe away tears. "Those lying bastards at NASA went through all the trouble to fake the moon landing, but they forgot to turn over one little prop rock. And now the whole damn thing's blowing up in their faces."

Although Armstrong initially questioned why the U.S. would attempt such an elaborate cover-up, he cited one overarching explanation provided by Coleman: that it was a ploy to defeat the Soviet Union and fulfill the Illuminati's plan to unify the world's banks and control the dissemination of information.

"Just ask Ralph Coleman," Armstrong said. "He'll answer any questions you have."

To conclude the press conference, Armstrong showed reporters footage of his first steps on the moon to demonstrate that the most daming evidence was "right under our noses." Speeding up the tape and replaying the graceful moonwalk several times in a row, Armstrong explained that the iconic images of humanity's triumphant dance with the cosmos was actually just a film of him walking backwards, slowed down, and played in reverse.

"What other explanation could there be?" Armstrong asked. "It's all right here. Everything is all right here if you'd just open your damn eyes and see!"

Added Armstrong, "I suppose it really was one small step for man, one giant lie for mankind."

www.theonion.com/content/news/conspiracy_theorist_convinces_neil

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Originally posted by Kwicko:
PN is the only person I know who actually cites The Onion as a legitimate news source.

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Originally posted by dreamtrove:
Mike
No, he's not alone...
http://www.examiner.com/x-22234-South-Asian-Culture-Examiner~y2009m9d7
-onion

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Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
Kwick...

Dude...

Im not even going to argue your negations against a higher, good, power.

Not my place. As an American citizen (I presume), you have the right to whatever you want to believe or not believe.

But trying to turn Obamas cancellation of the space program into a theological crack? Wtf?

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Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
"Also, I don't have a negation of belief in any higher power. I just don't need that higher power to be supernatural or otherworldly; our higher power is *US*. PEOPLE are our own best hope for better, our own path to a brighter future. I believe in PEOPLE, not gods, because if we were all united, there's nothing we couldn't do."

Its funny, but I agree with that (to a certain extent.)

Btw, why do you insist on lumping me in with the fundies? Seriously.

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Anyways, my "beliefs" are a whole lot simpler.

YOU give 100% to a good and righteous cause, and it isn't enough? Well that "higher power" gives you the extra 10% to get you over the top.

Why? Because the light always cancels the dark. In the end, at least. You just have to stick with it and never give up.

Good will always triumph over evil (in my belief), you just have to hold on.

ETA: I know it sounds really naive...but I've seen it happen so many times in my life that to deny it would be... unseemly.

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Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
"That roll of the dice that goes your way isn't the extra 10%; it's a roll of the dice. Chance and probability. It could have gone your way, or not. Even Einstein said that god doesn't play dice with the universe. ;)"

Einstein never saw the things I did.

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Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
"You're slipping, son - you've already gone to the "your mom" smack once today.."

Give me a break... its not that far to believe that YOU would have "Bad Mother Fucker" on your wallet. Besides... Tarantinos flicks have gone downhill since Kill Bill.

"and now you're going with the "it's hard out here for a pimp" rap"

Yes. Yes it is.

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