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The San Francisco Board of Supervisors voted last week to designate pet owners as pet "owners or guardians." Elliot Katz -- president of In Defense of Animals (I worked for that bastard for a while, he's a real fruitcase), an animal rights organization in Mill Valley, Calif., and supporter of the measure -- says that the term "guardian" reminds the public that pets are not possessions that can be neglected, or discarded when inconvenient.

"Rather than thinking of themselves as an owner of disposable property," Katz noted, pet guardians should be "less likely to chain up the animal all alone in the backyard" and more likely to treat the family dog as "a member of their household." Hosanna. To the extent that the ordinance, introduced by Board President Matt Gonzalez and approved in an 8-to-3 vote, makes bad pet owners behave better, it's swell. It's so swell you could almost forget how the S.F. supes embody the triumph of political symbolism over true governance.

The ordinance changes the term "pet owners" to "pet owners or guardians," then stipulates that guardians "shall have the same rights and responsibilities of an owner, and both terms shall be used interchangeably." (At least San Francisco wasn't the first city to stipulate that humans with canine-Americans and feline-Americans are guardians. Berkeley and Boulder, Colo., beat the S.F. supes to it.)

Mayor Willie Brown spokesman P.J. Johnston said Da Mayor won't sign the bill because it's silly. While Supervisors Tom Ammiano, Gavin Newsom and Aaron Peskin had the horse sense to vote against it, the bill will become law because the eight "yes" votes can override the mayor's veto.

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Maddie's Pet Adoption Center A state-of-the-art adoption facility designed by Lucy Schlaffer and Paul Bonacci of ARQ Architects in San Francisco, Maddie's Pet Adoption Center is more like a luxurious home than a "kennel." Gone are the cages; in their place you'll see private cat condos complete with perches with a view, trees for climbing, and couches for sleeping
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Cats relax in "condos" watching birds and squirrels on TV, while dogs leave their "apartments" daily to take walks with volunteers

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Hippie Operative Nikovich Nikita Nicovna Talibani,
signing off