Quote:

---

From the Asinine Press:
August 24, 2010

Felix Winthrop, Director of World Press' Biblical Research division, recently made an alarming discovery. "I can't believe I never noticed this before," he said, holding up the organization's Biblia Prima, or Prime Bible. The Bible is an old printing of the New Testament made in North Carolina before the Revolutionary War. The tome has been meticulously copied, down to every minor imperfection, and disseminated for free to all employees at the nonprofit. "It gives us a sense of history," Felix explained.

Unfortunately, tenacious attention to detail may have caused problems. "The whole Good Samaritan chapter is missing," Felix said with a laugh. "It's really quite embarrassing."

Biblical scholar Amanda Pratts was consulted about the Good Samaritan chapter, which is famous in religious circles. "It's a part of the Bible where a nonbeliever does a good deed," she explains. "It's really quite famous, and has found its way into the popular vernacular."

Now that Felix has caught the omission, he intends to create reprints of the Bible in its entirety. Still, he has good spirits about the affair. "Fortunately, no real harm was done."

---