Germany : a lesson by Aliasse

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Germany : a lesson

POSTED BY: ALIASSE
UPDATED: Friday, August 27, 2010 07:09
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VIEWED: 5200
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Sunday, August 22, 2010 2:05 AM

I was inspired by Peacekeeper's touching and ultimately doomed attempt to explain a little bit about Britain to do a general series on Europe. First up, Germany.

Germany is a country. Note the decisive use of the letter 'r' in this word. It has a population of about 82 million. All Germans are Jews. Jews are tiny faerie-like creatures who live in underwear drawers.

Selfishly, the people of Germany persist in refusing to speak English. They speak their own strange tongue, called 'German'. Fortunately, it is possible for non-Germans to communicate with Germans by using the many words that are the same in both languages, such as 'finger'.

The world's most famous German is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger, like all Germans, is a member of the British Royal Family and likes to be called 'ma'am'.

Other famous Germans include Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Hitler, Wittgenstein, Kant, Nietzsche, Horst Buchholz, Freud, Jung, Goethe and Einstein, who formed the Nazi party in 1066. All Germans are Nazis, though they tend to be quite modest about it.

Please go and share this information with everyone you know.

*throws PN's homework in the bin*

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Sunday, August 22, 2010 5:54 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Good one! Most excellent,

Hippie Operative Nikovich Nikita Nicovna Talibani,
Contracted Agent of Veritas Oilspillus, code name “Nike”,
signing off

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Sunday, August 22, 2010 6:22 AM

KLESST

Quote:
Originally posted by Aliasse:
The world's most famous German is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I only point you make that I would disagree with is that Arnold is German. Arnold was born in Austria which according to the Austrians is an independent country, though I'm sure most Germans would dispute the fact.

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Sunday, August 22, 2010 6:28 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

I get it that you didn't understand the whole thing was a send-up. Too bad, you might have enjoyed it as much as I did if you could have.

Hippie Operative Nikovich Nikita Nicovna Talibani,
Contracted Agent of Veritas Oilspillus, code name “Nike”,
signing off

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Sunday, August 22, 2010 6:35 AM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

My father used to call it 'Playing the Straight Man.'

--Anthony

Due to the use of Naomi 3.3.2 Beta web filtering, the following people may need to private-message me if they wish to contact me: Auraptor, Kaneman, Piratenews. I apologize for the inconvenience.

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Sunday, August 22, 2010 6:45 AM

KLESST

Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2:
I get it that you didn't understand the whole thing was a send-up. Too bad, you might have enjoyed it as much as I did if you could have.

I hope you are joking. No sober human could possible be that dense. I would tell you to lay off the drugs, but it's obvious the damage has already been done.

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Sunday, August 22, 2010 8:43 PM

AGENTROUKA

You forgot to mention our traditional garb: Lederhosen and jackboots by day, black latex with metal spikes by night.

*Teutonic stare*

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Sunday, August 22, 2010 8:53 PM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

In terms of sexy stereotype outfits, Germany conquers the world.

I give evil Soviet/ex-Soviet women a 2nd place slot. Possibly this is because of East Germany.

--Anthony

Due to the use of Naomi 3.3.2 Beta web filtering, the following people may need to private-message me if they wish to contact me: Auraptor, Kaneman, Piratenews. I apologize for the inconvenience.

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Sunday, August 22, 2010 9:40 PM

DMAANLILEILTT

You forgot Karl Marx! How could you?!

"I really am ruggedly handsome, aren't I?"

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 5:50 AM

ALIASSE

Klesst, you say that Arnold is an Austrian.

Also,

Mozart - Austrian
Hitler - Austrian
Freud - Austrian
Jung - Swiss
Einstein - Swiss

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 5:50 AM

ALIASSE

Klesst, you say that Arnold is an Austrian.

Also,

Mozart - Austrian
Hitler - Austrian
Freud - Austrian
Jung - Swiss
Einstein - Swiss

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 5:52 AM

ALIASSE

Quote:
Originally posted by dmaanlileiltt:
You forgot Karl Marx! How could you?!

I thought that Marx made an unconvincing member of the Magnificent Seven; whereas Buchholz's performance really carried the day.

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 5:57 AM

ALIASSE

Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
You forgot to mention our traditional garb: Lederhosen and jackboots by day, black latex with metal spikes by night.

*Teutonic stare*

You see? You see how considerate Rouka is? She is an Actual German and every word in this message is actually German. However, she has carefully selected only those words which are the same in English and German so that English-speakers can understand her!

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 6:57 AM

MALACHITE

Quote:
Originally posted by Aliasse:
Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
You forgot to mention our traditional garb: Lederhosen and jackboots by day, black latex with metal spikes by night.

*Teutonic stare*

You see? You see how considerate Rouka is? She is an Actual German and every word in this message is actually German. However, she has carefully selected only those words which are the same in English and German so that English-speakers can understand her!

What's "teutonic" mean?

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 8:02 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malachite:
Quote:
Originally posted by Aliasse:
Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
You forgot to mention our traditional garb: Lederhosen and jackboots by day, black latex with metal spikes by night.

*Teutonic stare*

You see? You see how considerate Rouka is? She is an Actual German and every word in this message is actually German. However, she has carefully selected only those words which are the same in English and German so that English-speakers can understand her!

What's "teutonic" mean?

Teutonic [tjuːˈtɒnɪk]
adj
1. (Social Science / Peoples) characteristic of or relating to the German people Teutonic thoroughness
2. (Historical Terms) of or relating to the ancient Teutons
3. (Linguistics / Languages) (not used in linguistics) of or relating to the Germanic languages

AURaptor's Greatest Hits:

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 20:32 To AnthonyT:
Go fuck yourself.
On this matter, make no mistake. I want you to go fuck yourself long and hard, as well as anyone who agrees with you. I got no use for you.

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 18:26 To President Obama:
Mr. President, you're a god damn, mother fucking liar.
Fuck you, you cock sucking community activist piece of shit.
... go fuck yourself, Mr. President.

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:56 AM

MALACHITE

Well, I was trying to be ironic, asking what a word meant after the previous poster had commented on how easy the post would be to understand. I probably should have put the

emoticon instead of the

emoticon.

I'll have to leave further humor and irony to Mincingbeast, evidently. Thanks though.

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 10:03 AM

AGENTROUKA

Humor and irony have no place in this thread.

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 10:13 AM

KWICKO

Agent is correct. We Teutons aren't exactly known for our sense of humor. ;)

As evidence of this, I'll point out to Mal that *I* was trying to be funny and ironic, too.

How'd that work out?

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 12:17 PM

MALACHITE

See... this is why we need a "funny and ironic" emoticon...

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 12:46 PM

DICKCHENEY

German humour:

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?

How big of an oven is the light bulb in?

Go Fuck Yourself!

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 6:34 PM

KANEMAN

Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
Humor and irony have no place in this thread.

Nor, does satin and spikes after midnight....unless you are Rob Halford

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 7:27 PM

AGENTROUKA

Quote:
Originally posted by kaneman:
Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
Humor and irony have no place in this thread.

Nor, does satin and spikes after midnight....unless you are Rob Halford

You are questioning centuries of tradition.

Exterminieren!

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Friday, August 27, 2010 7:09 AM

KANEMAN

Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
Quote:
Originally posted by kaneman:
Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
Humor and irony have no place in this thread.

Nor, does satin and spikes after midnight....unless you are Rob Halford

You are questioning centuries of tradition.

Exterminieren!

Not at all. Coming from German ancestry(75% German) I love poking fun at us. I may live in America but my family still makes a mean saurebraten....It was more a poke about Rob Halford(english) ya know spikes and leather..

http://photobucket.com/images/rob%20halford/

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