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Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

POSTED BY: THEHAPPYTRADER
UPDATED: Friday, December 3, 2010 04:56
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 13372
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Thursday, December 2, 2010 6:02 PM

THEHAPPYTRADER


Quote:

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specific case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.



No clue if this is real or not, but it is hilarious!

Here's the link, though I posted to whole thing in the quote. http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=573

EDIT: In hindsight, hilarious might not be an appropriate description, especially if this guy really has to go the jail or pay fines and what not. (assuming any of this is real). The incident makes me laugh though.


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Thursday, December 2, 2010 6:26 PM

WISHIMAY


That's not a tube of toothpaste in my pants, Im just really, really happy to see you!...

I'm pretty sure there was an assault here, but not by the gay dude...There's deffinately a lesson to be learned here-remove all junk from your trunk before before getting off(the ground)!

Did you see the one with the gal surgeon ??? in the wheelchair who showed up in a bra and panties so they could search her (and her wheelchair) easier? You go girl!

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Thursday, December 2, 2010 6:28 PM

WISHIMAY


Two posts for the price of one, yay!

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Thursday, December 2, 2010 6:31 PM

HKCAVALIER


New rule: anything that is this fucked up, is fucked up. This TSA crap needs to stop. Yeah, and nice blaming the victim here. Seriously, a man "assaults" another man by allowing the other man to masturbate him?

HKCavalier

Hey, hey, hey, don't be mean. We don't have to be mean, because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

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Thursday, December 2, 2010 6:51 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!



2 by 2 hands of blue balls...

WikiLeaks to release Percy Cummings arrest documents
http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=60

He must be related to Barbie Cummings, who makes cops ejaculate during traffic stop searches.


Google Barbie Cummings and you get Sarah Palin...

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Thursday, December 2, 2010 7:04 PM

THEHAPPYTRADER


I know right? I figured with a name like Cummings, is was likely fake. A friend posted it on facebook and I posted it here.

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Thursday, December 2, 2010 7:17 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!


Quote:

Originally posted by TheHappyTrader:
I know right? I figured with a name like Cummings, is was likely fake. A friend posted it on facebook and I posted it here.



Barbie Cummings is real. Google it. NSFW...

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Friday, December 3, 2010 1:09 AM

CANTTAKESKY


Quote:

Originally posted by TheHappyTrader:
No clue if this is real or not, but it is hilarious!

LOL Dead serious news is a satirical website. They are like an Onion-wannabe, but a bit grosser and more offensive.

But that sure would be funny, wouldn't it? Hehe.

--Can't Take (my gorram) Sky

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Friday, December 3, 2010 4:56 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...


Quote:

Originally posted by canttakesky:
Quote:

Originally posted by TheHappyTrader:
No clue if this is real or not, but it is hilarious!

LOL Dead serious news is a satirical website. They are like an Onion-wannabe, but a bit grosser and more offensive.

But that sure would be funny, wouldn't it? Hehe.



- People really want to believe the worst! I bet there are people who will actually be disappointed to find out that that story is not true.
It's like the way some people feel about Muslims - ironical much?

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=590

CIA: Al Qaeda developing suppository explosive device

Al Qaeda, buoyed by the TSA’s reaction to last year’s underwear bomb, is developing a suppository bomb, according to a press release by the Central Intelligence Agency.
The CIA has been monitoring Al Qaeda “chatter” since the well publicized TSA screenings started. The terrorist group is claiming victory, although the underwear bomb failed to detonate. “Americans are having to endure sexual molestation and having their wives and daughters leered at by lesbians,” according to one intercepted Al Qaeda communique. “An exploding suppository, successful or not, will lead to mass rape of the infidels,” an inference to possible cavity searches by the TSA.
A TSA spokesperson refused to comment on the possibility of cavity searches, other than saying “all options were on the table to detect suppository explosive devices.”

That's a corker.

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

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