All New Terrorist Threat Discovered. . . by Static

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

All New Terrorist Threat Discovered. . .

POSTED BY: STATIC
UPDATED: Friday, August 6, 2004 12:36
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Friday, August 6, 2004 7:54 AM

At Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and
a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
being held incognito by the FBI pending probable charges of transporting
weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a terrorist cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ' x ' and ' y ' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns'; but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with large
numbers of coordinates in every Muslim country." He added, "As the
Greek philanderer, Isosceles, used to say: There are 3 sides to
every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "Had God
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes". To which his cabinet members then
chorused in unison: "AMEN!"

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"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

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Friday, August 6, 2004 9:37 AM

NOOCYTE

Oh.
Dear.
Gods.

This is ruttin' brilliant!! Is this an original?

But I do believe I have ruptured my spleen, Static.

I hope you're happy.

Department of Redundancy Department

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Friday, August 6, 2004 9:49 AM

STATIC

Alas, I cannot claim it as my own. . .my father, who is a High School Math Teacher sent it to me. I believe this was HIS brainchild.

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"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

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Friday, August 6, 2004 12:36 PM

SOUPCATCHER

Your father is a freakin' genius!!

Great stuff.

I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!

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