For all you cat people. by AURAPTOR

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

For all you cat people.

POSTED BY: AURAPTOR
UPDATED: Thursday, June 6, 2013 05:23
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VIEWED: 1916
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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 2:54 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 3:29 AM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/111204885/lion-hat-for-cats

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 3:58 AM

BYTEMITE

There's a hilarious nihilist cat video out there. It's done in a black and white artsy style and the cat speaks with this depressed sounding accent. Very good send up of some of the more pompous and over-contemplative indy films.

I might try to find it.

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 4:56 AM

MAL4PREZ

Kudos Rappy. That is bang on to kitty logic LOL!

Probably not the video you meant, Byte, but I went looking and found a series of Henri videos. Here's a good one:

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 4:57 AM

MAL4PREZ

dbl kittiness

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 5:01 AM

BYTEMITE

Omigosh, yes actually, those are the ones. I didn't realize it was a series.

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 5:20 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Ohhhh, Rap--wiping tears from eyes--MANY prizes for MANY first smiles, laughs, chortles and guffaws of the morning! And many thanx! I'm not a "cat person" per se, but have had and loved them, and that is absolutely PRICELESS!

I've got a similar thing, in text form, in fact a couple of them I've saved over time from an old friend who sent them to me. It's even better in visual/audio!

In return, I will (possibly for the second time, can't recall) give you back my single favorite, called "Cat Haikus":

Cat Haikus ...

You never feed me.
Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound;
cat vomit hairball somewhere;
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter;
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
your foot just squashed one.

You’re always typing.
Well, let’s see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What’s a ‘term paper’?

Kitty likes plastic.
Confuses for litter box.
Don’t leave tarp around.

Small brave carnivores.
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes.
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close...
to you. Can I fit my head...
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One...
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst:
“Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!”

Litter box not here.
You must have moved it again.
I’ll crap in the sink.

The Big Ones snore now.
Every room is dark and cold.
Time for “Cup Hockey”.

We’re almost equals.
I purr to show I love you.
Want to smell my butt?

No snooze button...
on hungry cat.
Teach her to fly?

(ETA: Those SHOULD each be on three separate lines, dammit; I've been having a devil of a time on FFF lately, "returns" don't return, quotes don't close unless I put an extra return and a SECOND "close quote" in, same with italics, and other stuff. Like the YouTube video above doesn't come out. Is it just me??)(

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 5:30 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Byte, I "respond with quote" and found the URL, went there, that one is damned classic, too! Not as hysterical as the first one, but the ending was great!

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 11:34 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

This deserves a bump. I just sat Jim down and had him watch it, and he laughed, too. It's good to laugh. Everyone should get the chance.

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 12:08 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2:
This deserves a bump. I just sat Jim down and had him watch it, and he laughed, too. It's good to laugh. Everyone should get the chance.

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen

Resident USA Freedom Fundie

" AU, that was great, LOL!! " - Chrisisall

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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 5:16 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Yeah, I giggled my way through it when she sent it to me. I've got a million of 'em; animals are GREAT!

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Wednesday, June 5, 2013 2:09 PM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT

I've got a cat right now sleeping on the computer desk, feet slowly encroaching on the mouse pad, and falling over the edge onto the keyboard shelf. Have to move feet , tails, etc, to get to keys. Pretty soon gonna wake up, be annoyed at me for moving its parts, take a bite of my-- OUCH!

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Wednesday, June 5, 2013 2:24 PM

MAL4PREZ

When my orphan was a kitten and I got too involved with playing some computer game, he'd climb on top of the monitor, gather himself, and launch himself onto my shoulder and into full cuddle position against my neck before I could do anything about it. (As if I would!) It was like a stealth cuddle attack.

Thank goodness I don't have an old-fashioned CRT anymore. If he tried that at his full grown size, he'd hurt me!

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Wednesday, June 5, 2013 3:54 PM

JONGSSTRAW

Hey AURaptor, this cat thread is really special. You have brought your community back from the abyss, and steered the stars into a new age of harmony and understanding. The message has never been clearer. Here's my gift to you....

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Thursday, June 6, 2013 5:23 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

NewOld: Prize for first guffaw of the morning... now wiping bits of chewed banana off MY keyboard, thank you... (Been there/done that, cat-wise--not for several years and, stupidly humanly, I actually miss it!)

Jong: Thank you for the first happy "aww" of the morning and a bunch of smiles. I need them right now. My back and sciatica pain are now permanent, and the axle on my sulky broke three days ago. A kind person in the group I run with loaned me her Diggler (dog scooter) to get out with the dogs while my axle is flown to AUSTRALIA to be repaired (maybe as much as three weeks). One 20-minute run around the Ponds yesterday and I'm still in severe pain; if I can't manage it with the bike, dogs and I may be unable to get out at all except for brief "sniff walks" until the sulky returns, so I am both in pain, heartsick, and dealing with two VERY full-of-shit dogs! Any good feelings much appreciated, believe me...

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