KILLER BISCUITS by GinoBiffaroni

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

KILLER BISCUITS

POSTED BY: GINOBIFFARONI
UPDATED: Monday, May 25, 2009 17:07
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Monday, May 25, 2009 4:54 PM

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER(the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws
and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled
up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her
head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now
open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and
Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had
been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the
doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her
head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a
loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her
in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it
was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially
passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for
over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

" They don't hate America, they hate Americans " Homer Simpson

Lets party like its 1939

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Monday, May 25, 2009 5:07 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

Linda was a blonde Obama voter.
www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp

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