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Supreme Court deems Rahm Emanuel sleazy enough to be mayor of Chicago

POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Friday, February 4, 2011 16:11
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Friday, February 4, 2011 10:37 AM

PIRATENEWS

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Israeli ballerina makes good

CHICAGO—In a unanimous decision handed down on Thursday, the Illinois Supreme Court ruled that former White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel was sleazy enough to be included on Chicago's mayoral ballot. "It is the opinion of this court that Mr. Emanuel is coarse, vulgar, and power-hungry to such a degree that he should be eligible to hold this city's highest office," Illinois Justice Robert R. Thomas wrote in his majority opinion, adding that Emanuel also met a key stipulation requiring that any mayor of Chicago be a bully willing to do whatever is necessary to push his agenda through the city council. "Further, Mr. Emanuel is a sleazebag and a sleazeball, both of which are criteria he fulfilled prior to filing his papers with the local election board. Poking politicians while naked and mailing rotted fish is a bonus." The decision overturned an appellate court's ruling that Emanuel was only sleazy enough to be the governor of Illinois, and that he lacked the slithery, snake-like attributes necessary to oversee the morally bankrupt cesspool of Chicago politics.

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Friday, February 4, 2011 4:11 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


They deserve each other.

Honestly, I was kind of hoping he'd be kicked off the ballot. Rubs me the wrong way that he just waltzes in and acts like his election is a walkover, a done deal.

Here's hoping he loses the election, fair and square. Well, as fair and square as such elections ever are in Chicago...

This Space For Rent!

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