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Out to the Black...and that's when I took the acid...
Monday, October 10, 2011 6:36 PM
PIRATENEWS
John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!
Quote:i go into the bar. me to bartender: " got any gas" bartender: " yea we sell it out of 5 gallon cans. its $10 / gallon. gotta buy 5 gallons" me: "sell it to me.... got any beer?" so i sit down and have a beer and order a cheeseburger. i see this guy keep looking at me. he is dressed different than everyone else around here. most people are dressed like truckers and farmers t-shirt , jeans , ball-caps (you know). this guy is wearing a tie. looks slightly "not right" in a shifty eyed way. bartender brings me another beer. "guy over there bought you this" me: "ok" guy comes over. guy: "do you know where you are ?" me : ".. uh Rachael nevada ?" guy: "No..do you know where you are....?" me: "mm.. no . where are we?" guy: "AREA 51 is a few miles down that dirt road right outside that door" me: "what ?" guy keeps buying me beer. im thinking: this guy wants to get me drunk , tie me down, cover me in lotion , cut open my stomach , hook my intestines then spool them out of me onto a giant wooden thimble. guy: how old do you think i am? me: er. . you look about 48 or 52 guy: yea.. ive been here for a while. but i look pretty young. im really 923 years old. me: are you serious ? are you fucking with me? guy: no, let me the story of how i found this place. i was in the Arizona desert. i met an Indian Shaman who gave me an Eagle feather and told me to come HERE. I have been here ever since. THATS WHEN I TURNED ON MY HELMET CAMERA
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