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Squeezed: The great OJ scam

POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Saturday, October 17, 2009 13:45
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Saturday, October 17, 2009 10:43 AM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!




I'm drinking fresh-squeezed OJ right now. Nectar of the Gods. Yummy.

Anita can take her ethyl buterate and shove it up her assets!


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Saturday, October 17, 2009 12:29 PM

FREMDFIRMA


As I told that one health nutter, just cause something naturally occurs don't make it a good idea to eat - wouldn't wanna eat petroleum, right ?

Aside from that, don't even get me started about the way companies obfuscate the ingredient list to get around calling stuff by it's rightful name...

I had FINALLY made it to the store when I was so horribly sick, and out of at LEAST sixty varieties, COULD NOT FIND A SINGLE CAN without MSG in it, and the "organic" brands were the worst for it!
http://www.truthinlabeling.org/Here%27sHowTheyHideMSG.html
http://www.msgmyth.com/hidename.htm
I was honestly tempted, being sick, annoyed, having my thought processes curdled by a triple digit fever - to wing one of the cans down the aisle in sheer fury (and woulda happily paid for it, just to get the satisfaction!)...

Wound up having to make my own out of chicken prolly loaded with hormones and stuff, I mean, unless your a damned farmer, how the HELL do you even FIND any food not loaded with unpleasant things, IF you can even decipher the obfuscated names to know it, and IF they don't just plain lie about it ? *hisss*

Add to that my annoyance today at having no cookies cause I couldn't find a single box of THOSE without trans-fats in em!

I was DAMNED close to finding a maple tree and pounding in a tap myself after trying to find some damned pancake syrup without HFCS in it, which only one brand (log cabin) CLAIMS to lack, but still lists "Corn Syrup" (prolly complete with mercury just like HFCS) which kinda defeats the fucking point, along with some other ingredients I sure don't want and WTF is Sodium Hexa-Meta Phosphate anyway, doesn't sound very healthy to me!

Then there's the "heat in a microwave to make SURE you leech Bisphenol-A into it" stuff, which come to think of it makes me leery of the damned plastic containers besides...

But I got lucky on that one, Maple Grove Farms does make a commercial bottle, a GLASS bottle, and they fill it with REAL Maple Syrup - there's no ingredient list cause there's only ONE ingredient.

Although, given the Gov response towards anything that might actually be good for you (they recently jumped down some cough&cold medicines pretty hard for adding vitamin C to em - look it up you don't believe me) I may well start stockpiling the stuff for when they inevitably outlaw it.. *hissssss*

And imma hafta bake my own damn cookies now too, I want any that meet my standards, grrr.


Like I said, don't even get me started.

At least I have fresh, real, no pesticide or frankenfood apples and cherrys, in limited quantities - site three has a couple apple and cherry trees for decoration, and I've been told I'm quite welcome to harvest from them as I please, at my own risk, of course.

The residents don't seem to trust anything that didn't come out of a supermarket package, and I don't seem to trust anything that does, so it works out all well and good - besides, my auxiliaries (the local critters) also snack from the fallen fruit of those trees, which they wouldn't do if it were unhealthy, I don't think.

Well, barring Bummer, one of the raccoons, who likes his fruit a little fermented, heh - he even looks like a wino, all shaggy and all.

-Frem
It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Saturday, October 17, 2009 12:38 PM

CHRISISALL


Maple Grove rocks.


The laughing Chrisisall

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Saturday, October 17, 2009 1:45 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Frem, I've gotta ask, because it sounds like you could use a laugh to decompress a bit...


Do any of those stores happen to sell PITCHFORKS?

'Cause if not, I think I found a prime location for my Pitchforks, Tar & Feathers franchise!

Mike

Let the wild rumpus start!

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