GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Just Thought I'd Share

POSTED BY: RANGRBOB
UPDATED: Wednesday, April 14, 2004 12:35
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 2189
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Sunday, April 11, 2004 7:13 PM

RANGRBOB


Last christmas after my roomate bought me Firefly and I finally realized how wonderful it was. See, I had a hard time following it when it was being run on fox. I decided to buy my mother a copy because I knew how much she liked good TV. I thought it was funny when I talked to her today and she told me she had to go out and buy another copy for herself. She had lent out her original copy to some friends and now she can't get them back. Apparently they are making their way around the town of Dehlonega GA. from one person to another. Kind of like a virus converting everyone who sees them. Just thought I'd share

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Sunday, April 11, 2004 8:37 PM

ZOID



Very cool! Just make sure they know about "Serenity", the movie version due for theatrical release in 2005. I also tell my converts that the movie has been written as a lead-in for return to series TV, according to Firefly's creator, Joss Whedon.

That way, when we're all standing outside the theatre on opening day, outnumbering Star Wars fans, when the news teams ask we can say, "Yeah, it's coming back to TV." Makes a powerful image for networks to consider, y'know?

Let's face it: we've got to get it back on TV so we can get 13 hours of FF a year, instead of 1.5 - 2 hours every 3rd year.



Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"River didn't fix faith. Faith fixed River."

- Senator Richard 'Book' Wilkins, Independent Congress
author of A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence

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Sunday, April 11, 2004 11:55 PM

RANGRBOB


Done and Done

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Monday, April 12, 2004 1:08 AM

CAPTAINCERENTZ


You should add that extra 'viral' infection of strongly suggesting that everyone that borrows the show head out and buy their own copy...

With the increase in DVD sales, someone is bound to take notice...

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Monday, April 12, 2004 5:52 AM

BROWNCOAT1

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.


Quote:

Originally posted by rangrbob:
Last christmas after my roomate bought me Firefly and I finally realized how wonderful it was. See, I had a hard time following it when it was being run on fox. I decided to buy my mother a copy because I knew how much she liked good TV. I thought it was funny when I talked to her today and she told me she had to go out and buy another copy for herself. She had lent out her original copy to some friends and now she can't get them back. Apparently they are making their way around the town of Dehlonega GA. from one person to another. Kind of like a virus converting everyone who sees them. Just thought I'd share



Good news indeed RangrBob.

Better news is, as Zoid pointed out, the movie "Serenity" coming to theatres in 2005. We need to spread the word to as many as we can to increase awareness and interest.

Loaning the DVD set is a great idea to make some new fans, but I tell everyone I loan it to that once they have seen it, they should buy a copy for themselves as they will not be able to watch the episodes just once.

Keep converting those new fans, and thank your mom for sharing the show w/ others.

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."


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Monday, April 12, 2004 6:43 AM

ZOID


Browncoat1:

I'm an even better 'dealer' than that: I give 'em enough of a taste to get 'em hooked, then I cut 'em off. If they want more -- and they always do -- they've got to buy their next fix, same as everybody else...

I usually show them "Serenity", followed by "Out of Gas". This way the unsuspecting and uninitiated get the back story on all the crew and continuing passengers, without really screwing with the timelines. If they're ready for more -- which again, they always are -- I then show them "Our Mrs. Reynolds" if they're guys, or "The Message" if they're girls. I think these episodes are pretty much standalone, without too much 'big arc' content as far as Season 1 is concerned, so they don't screw up the story, particularly.

Then I say, "Whew! Four hours! Where has the time gone?", pack up my box set and split, leaving them gasping for more. (Mine is an evil laugh)

Bingo! Converts! Paying converts...



Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"River didn't fix faith. Faith fixed River."

- Senator Richard 'Book' Wilkins, Independent Congress
author of A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence

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Monday, April 12, 2004 8:51 AM

SAMURAIX47


I lend out the first disc... then when i get it back I lend them the second disc... after that they have to buy their own to see the rest...

Jaymes

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Tuesday, April 13, 2004 4:54 AM

BROWNCOAT1

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.


Quote:

Originally posted by zoid:
Browncoat1:

I'm an even better 'dealer' than that: I give 'em enough of a taste to get 'em hooked, then I cut 'em off. If they want more -- and they always do -- they've got to buy their next fix, same as everybody else...

I usually show them "Serenity", followed by "Out of Gas". This way the unsuspecting and uninitiated get the back story on all the crew and continuing passengers, without really screwing with the timelines. If they're ready for more -- which again, they always are -- I then show them "Our Mrs. Reynolds" if they're guys, or "The Message" if they're girls. I think these episodes are pretty much standalone, without too much 'big arc' content as far as Season 1 is concerned, so they don't screw up the story, particularly.

Then I say, "Whew! Four hours! Where has the time gone?", pack up my box set and split, leaving them gasping for more. (Mine is an evil laugh)

Bingo! Converts! Paying converts...



Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"River didn't fix faith. Faith fixed River."

- Senator Richard 'Book' Wilkins, Independent Congress
author of A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence



(LOL @ Zoid.)

Not a bad idea Zoid. Hook them, get them the back story, then leave them begging for more.


"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."


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Tuesday, April 13, 2004 5:54 AM

ZOID


Browncoat1 wrote:

Quote:

Not a bad idea Zoid. Hook them, get them the back story, then leave them begging for more

If I can get 'em to watch all the way through "Serenity" -- which I have only failed to do once in over 20 tries -- then they become paying fans. Simple as that.

Most common comment heard after watching the pilot: "This was on television!?"

Most common comment heard after 3- or 4-hour 'initiation' session: "Fox cancelled this!?"

"Serenity" the pilot could have been released in the theatre with only a few production upgrades. I hope SciFi-US airs the pilot and perhaps some of the other series episodes prior to the BDM's theatrical release, as has been suggested elsewhere on FFFn. I agree it would boost interest in the movie. Like I said: a 100% success rate on converts, using my proven-though-not-patented method. Try it, it works. And do make them pay for their own copies, if they're well-heeled enough to do so. Worthy art deserves to be supported with funding.

One caveat though: If you're anything like me, repeated viewings are hard to take, emotionally. Although I'm a 45-year old male, married with children, and considered somewhere between 'cantankerous' and 'curmudgeonly', I have a difficult time at the ends of episodes, in particular.

Having to explain that you're crying softly, not so much because of anything sad happening in the episode, but rather because the filmmaker -- Joss Whedon -- touched something true and human in his work, is kind of tough on the 'hard-bitten' rep. Explaining to stunned friends that true art always makes you cry, because you're suddenly so proud to be a human, is a humbling experience.

So usually I don't mop at my eyes -- since that generally only makes it worse -- and trust that the low lighting will hide any welling up or actual tear tracks, until I can get to kitchen/bathroom and straighten myself out. I also try real hard to avoid talking during these attacks, since I'm liable to choke up and sound funny, or else start outright blubbering.

I mean, these little sessions are intended to be about introducing my thinking friends to the best piece of adult programming ever aired on TV; not an expose of my unsuspected soft side. Have I mentioned that Fox TV's headquarters are located directly atop the San Andreas Fault in my dreams?



Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"River? I thought she was a sweet girl. Of course, we were all sure she was crazy, too."

- Inara Reynolds, Secretary of Ecumenical Affairs
from A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence Wilkins, Richard

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Tuesday, April 13, 2004 6:44 AM

BROWNCOAT1

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.


Quote:

Originally posted by zoid:
Browncoat1 wrote:

Quote:

Not a bad idea Zoid. Hook them, get them the back story, then leave them begging for more

If I can get 'em to watch all the way through "Serenity" -- which I have only failed to do once in over 20 tries -- then they become paying fans. Simple as that.



True indeed. All but one of the people of the seven I have converted have gone out and bought the DVD set for themselves. The last is a procrastinator, but will buy it before long, I have no doubt.

Quote:

Most common comment heard after watching the pilot: "This was on television!?"

Most common comment heard after 3- or 4-hour 'initiation' session: "Fox cancelled this!?"



Those are the two I hear most. The other is "Damn you for showing me this show and getting me hooked". Of course I figure it is better to share the joy of the show, even if we never get another minute on TV or a movie.

Quote:

"Serenity" the pilot could have been released in the theatre with only a few production upgrades. I hope SciFi-US airs the pilot and perhaps some of the other series episodes prior to the BDM's theatrical release, as has been suggested elsewhere on FFFn. I agree it would boost interest in the movie. Like I said: a 100% success rate on converts, using my proven-though-not-patented method. Try it, it works. And do make them pay for their own copies, if they're well-heeled enough to do so. Worthy art deserves to be supported with funding.


I had never thought of "Serenity" the pilot as a potential for the box office. It did well on TV, but would it be flashy enough for the theatre? I think Joss hopes for something more epic in the BDM.

I had proposed the idea of Sci Fi airing the series in order prior to the release of the BDM in another thread, and I remain convinced it would go a long way toward inspiring interest in the movie as well as work to sell more DVD sets.

Quote:

One caveat though: If you're anything like me, repeated viewings are hard to take, emotionally. Although I'm a 45-year old male, married with children, and considered somewhere between 'cantankerous' and 'curmudgeonly', I have a difficult time at the ends of episodes, in particular.

Having to explain that you're crying softly, not so much because of anything sad happening in the episode, but rather because the filmmaker -- Joss Whedon -- touched something true and human in his work, is kind of tough on the 'hard-bitten' rep. Explaining to stunned friends that true art always makes you cry, because you're suddenly so proud to be a human, is a humbling experience.

So usually I don't mop at my eyes -- since that generally only makes it worse -- and trust that the low lighting will hide any welling up or actual tear tracks, until I can get to kitchen/bathroom and straighten myself out. I also try real hard to avoid talking during these attacks, since I'm liable to choke up and sound funny, or else start outright blubbering.

I mean, these little sessions are intended to be about introducing my thinking friends to the best piece of adult programming ever aired on TV; not an expose of my unsuspected soft side. Have I mentioned that Fox TV's headquarters are located directly atop the San Andreas Fault in my dreams?



Too true. I get emotional just hearing the Ballad of Serenity. Then everytime the credits roll, I can't help but think the best sci fi show I have ever been fortunate enough to see is off the air.

It does lead to some potentially embarassing moments when the wife walks in or my less initiated friends watch an episode w/ me.

Quote:

"River? I thought she was a sweet girl. Of course, we were all sure she was crazy, too."

- Inara Reynolds, Secretary of Ecumenical Affairs
from A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence Wilkins, Richard



I love these little quotes you have been doing Zoid. Are these just for fun, or a fan fic you are working on?

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."


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Tuesday, April 13, 2004 12:50 PM

ZOID


Browncoat1:

Quote:

I love these little quotes you have been doing Zoid. Are these just for fun, or a fan fic you are working on?


Rather than saying where I think the show was going in one sitting -- which I have done on alt.tv.firefly -- I sort of take it from the viewpoint of Book writing a retrospective of the events that take have taken place (once we get to the end of Firefly's story arc). Then I take excerpted quotes from this 'future' history and insert them, as others do on the message board with actual quotes from the series we've seen thus far.

I usually try to twist one of the quotes from the series to date (i.e., "You don't fix faith, River. Faith fixes you" becomes "River didn't fix faith. Faith fixed River") to fit how I -- using my River-like powers of extrapolation -- think the whole story was going to be resolved.

My current one, below, is really more about who was saying it than what is being said; although one can also read into the quote as well. It's not good form, but I made myself laugh with the idea of "Ecumenical Affairs"... I intend to do at least one from each of the 9 main characters, commenting as though to an interviewer on the subject of River. Kaylee's is written, and I'm toying with Wash's and Jayne's in my head now.

Rather than doing a full-blown fanfic, these allow me to enjoy fantasizing where Firefly might've gotten to, without necessarily having to spell out all the events and motivations. Fully fleshing it out kinda ruins the potential of where JW might be heading, for me.

BTW, I do have a little 'opening scene' I wrote for the BDM that's pretty funny, featuring Jayne and Mal, if anyone's interested. I also did a little scene -- based on one of the other newsgroup poster's desire to get "The Ballad of Serenity" into the movie. It features Joss in a cameo role as an Elvis Impersonator, singing the ballad ala his rendition on the DVD extra.

I'm glad some folk enjoy the 'quotes'; they're intended to entertain.


Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"River? I thought she was a sweet girl. Of course, we were all sure she was crazy, too."

- Inara Reynolds, Secretary of Ecumenical Affairs
from A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence Wilkins, Richard

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Tuesday, April 13, 2004 12:56 PM

BADGERSHAT


I took it one step better and meaner--

I burned bits and pieces of each episode, sort of trailer-like, onto a DVD. Then, burned multiple copies of that DVD, and sent em to lots of folks.

So far, I've sent 14 copies, and 11 of the recipients have bought the set for themselves!

Not bad, eh?

--The Hat

***************************
"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

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Tuesday, April 13, 2004 1:10 PM

KARENKAY99


Quote:

Originally posted by zoid:
BTW, I do have a little 'opening scene' I wrote for the BDM that's pretty funny, featuring Jayne and Mal, if anyone's interested. I also did a little scene -- based on one of the other newsgroup poster's desire to get "The Ballad of Serenity" into the movie. It features Joss in a cameo role as an Elvis Impersonator, singing the ballad ala his rendition on the DVD extra.



interested! please share!

i really hope joss finds a way to be in the BDM.

Wouldn't it be cool ... on some planet, mal leaves ship with zoe discussing something important and plot driven, passes homeless man/joss with shopping cart full of junk, homeless man/joss says "parts, cheap", mal doesn't stop talking but rummages through cart finding box of big red buttons, catalyzer, tosses homeless man/joss a coin and keeps on walkin' & talkin'.
shiny!!

"They say the snow on the roof is too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger."

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Tuesday, April 13, 2004 3:55 PM

ZOID




karenkay99 wrote:

Quote:

interested! please share!



Due to the overwhelming response of my fellow browncoat(s), here's a little something I 'tossed off' while vacationing in the Carribean (with apologies to Eric Idle for mangling his joke). I wrote it several months ago, after hearing the joyous news that the BDM got greenlighted...

Gentle Readers,

In hopes that Firefly the Movie will be a tremendous success, I have written a humorous attempt at an opening scene script, which will guarantee an 'R' rating and a big box office success. You've been warned...


Fade in from black, to a wall of lush, dense jungle growth. The camera continues to close in on one particular spot in the waxy, broad-leafed greenery and suddenly, amid the shadowy growth a pair of eyes open wide, then go to slits, peering back and forth to check that the way is clear.

As the camera pulls back, the figure emerges from the bush and we can see that it is Jayne, in full camo and paintstick. As the camera slowly pans from his face to a following shot, he slowly lowers from his crouch to crawl on all fours across the forest floor. The camera pans back from behind, around to his face as he reaches his goal, parts the broad leaves that reveal his target, and a satisfied grin threatens to crease his grim visage as he brings his binoculars to his eyes.

The camera then pans around to the Jayne's-eye view and we behold his quarry...

The entire female cast of Firefly naked and bathing in a jungle pool, in a very businesslike fashion (including Saffron, please; who cares how she got there). We watch them bathing and chatting -- perhaps Kaylee and River splashing playfully -- for long enough to get the 'R' (what? 30 seconds?) then we hear the click-whirr of a revolver and Jayne whirls to find himself staring into the barrel of Mal's pistol.

Mal says quietly, menacingly: "We've got to stop meeting like this."

Jayne whispers angrily: "Sshhh! You'll spook 'em!" and turns back to the scene.

As Mal grabs Jayne's web belt and drags him back through the bushes toward the ship, we go to opening credits.


Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"River? I thought she was a sweet girl. Of course, we were all sure she was crazy, too."

- Inara Reynolds, Secretary of Ecumenical Affairs
from A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence Wilkins, Richard

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Tuesday, April 13, 2004 4:13 PM

ZOID


Very quickly, before anybody can eviscerate me for the "Opening Scene", here's Joss-as-Elvis, so y'all can kick me once, for both...

Gentle Readers,


In a reply post, I suggested that "Ballad of Serenity" might be too short (or otherwise unacceptable) to be used as the opening or closing theme for the movie. For a TV series, an opening theme typically runs what, one and a half minutes? That's way too short for a movie's opening credits. But I also suggested ways in which the song might be incorporated into the movie itself, since it's so popular with Firefly's fans (myself included).

One of those scenarios has captured my imagination (and some of yours, too) and so I thought it through and came up with the following script for it. I hope you enjoy it, and post possible improvements too.

The treatment's a little hard on the Elvis Impersonator, so I don't know if Joss would be comfortable playing the role; but I somehow get the feeling he's self-effacing and jovial, in which case he might get a kick out of simultaneously lampooning himself and arguably America's greatest cultural icon, Tha Kang. Heck, for a buck-and-a-half, I'd play Elvis the Pelvis' bald-headed brother Enis in the movie...




SCENE I
Setting: aboard Serenity, the Galley, all-hands crew meeting

Malcolm (Nathan Fillion): "Okay, so we're having this meeting with (Shady Character's Name Here) at 0900, planetary standard. I've done business with him in the past, but that was a long time ago. The only thing I know about him now is that I still don't trust him. That... and the fact he owns most of this little rock... and shakes down the rest. So, while I anticipate this'll be a cordial negotiation, we'll be discreetly ready to talk louder than anybody else in the vicinity, if necessary. Zoe, you'll be with me, bootlegs and blackjacks..."

Zoe (Gina Torres): (Reaching behind her back, then flicking open a collapsible baton) "Right, sir."

Malcolm: "Good. Jayne, you've got crowd control. Heavy, but discreet; get saddled up."

Jayne (Adam Baldwin): (Growls) "Right." (Exits, swinging out galley hatchway)

Zoe: (Checking wicked looking derringer with bayonet before tucking it back into her boot) "What's the name of this planetoid again, sir?"

Malcolm: "Vegas, baby."

Zoe: (Looking up, holding oversized Bowie knife she's just pulled from the other boot) "Sir?"

Malcolm: (Seeing knife, quickly adds) "Vegas, Baby. That's the planet's name, 'Vegas, Baby'. We're on Vegas, Baby."

Wash (Alan Tudyk): "Good name."

Zoe: (Looks sceptically, then puts knife back in other boot)

Malcolm: "Um, yeah. Uh, Little Kaylee? How'd you like to go into town?"

Kaylee (Jewel Staite): (Small squeal of joy)

Malcolm: "Well, alright! Go git yourself gussied up then, girl. And don't forget to bring some protection."

Kaylee: (Runs across the galley, to peck Malcolm's cheek) "Thanks, Cap'n. I promise I won't take too long." (Exits, running)

Malcolm: (Looking thoughtful, then defeated) "Now, why'd she have to go and say that?"

(End Scene)


SCENE II
Setting: outside Serenity's cargo ramp, Zoe and Malcolm standing, pacing impatiently

Malcolm: "Where are those two? How long can it take to put on some clothes and grab a sawed-off?"

Zoe: (Patiently) "Now, sir. We've got plenty of time 'til the meet, they'll be along shortly. Jayne's probably trying to figure which of his umpty-million weapons fits this particular caper, and figurin' ain't Jayne's long suit, so that'll probably take awhile. And as for Kaylee, well..." (Playfully) "It ain't every day a girl gets to go to Vegas, baby."

Malcolm: (Stops pacing) "I did not name this gorram rock! But I'd like to get my hands on the neck of the (insert Chinese derogatory here) who did! I'd..." (Stops in mid-sentence, agape, as Jayne enters from cargo bay)

Jayne: (Stops midway down cargo ramp, striking casual pose with 'Vera', barrel up, butt on his hip) "What?"
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Vera deserves to be in the movie, too)

Malcolm: "Jayne?! Did I not specifically utter the word 'discreet'? That thing's about as discreet as a case of wind in church."

Jayne: (Hurt feelings) "Watch yer language, Mal. Vera's... sensitive. 'Sides..." (Rapidly breaks down gun, converting it to short, over-under mortar; stowing scope, butt and extended barrel into pockets of his BDU-style trousers) "She's flexible." (Smiles at weapon lovingly, then puts it in his waistband, and pulls his shirttail over the bulge.) "Frag and gas rounds. Stay up-range of me."

Malcolm: (About to rebut, when Kaylee comes bouncing down the ramp, wearing Pink Cake Dress from "Shindig" ep, beaming beatifically. Malcolm exhales his unspoken rebuttal, hand on forehead, then turns and trudges wearily down the town's dirt main street, his three companions following.)

Setting: Following shot of the troop navigating Vegas,Baby's streets to the nightclub where the meeting with Shady Character will take place. Lots of dirt-poor types in Hawaiian shirts and other garish garb; prostitutes; wedding chapels with drunks reeling out hand-in-hand; street-corner lawyers hawking quick annulments, et cetera. The four enter the nightclub past bouncer who surreptitously pats down Mal and Zoe, waves the joyfully bouncing, hands-in-the-air Kaylee through without the check and clearly decides not to risk frisking Jayne, who eyeballs the doorman menacingly.

As they enter club, (End Scene)


SCENE III
Setting: inside darkened club; capacity 200, attendance approx 10. Jayne stays at rear, grabbing comely waitress around the waist and ordering drink. Mal and Zoe continue into the middle of sparsely populated club, while Kaylee gravitates toward the low stage where an Elvis Impersonator (Joss Whedon?), an 8-piece band and 3-girl backup is performing.

Shady Character (To be cast; same age as Mal, rakish, smooth operator): (From over at the end of the bar, hails Mal and Zoe, who are still trying to adjust their eyes to dim lighting after brilliant sunlight) "'Tent'! Hey, 'Tent'! Over here!"

Malcolm: (Squints toward bar, then nudges Zoe, who follows him toward Shady's position)

Setting: Camera angle shifts behind bar, focusing on Shady, Mal and Zoe, with spotlit stage in background. Elvis Impersonator is soulfully performing "BALLAD OF SERENITY", while backup singers hum along tiredly (one furtively checks nails, another picks a piece of lint from bodice), and all band members but acoustic guitar accompanist quietly make small talk, smoke cigarettes, etc. outside the spotlight. Kaylee can be seen in pink hoop-skirted gown at the front edge of the stage, intently watching the singer.

Malcolm: (Looking around as though casing the strength of potential attackers) "Shady. Long time."

Shady: (Bored, but affecting a genial demeanor) "Yeah, you're looking fit, 'Tent'. Who's your date?"

Malcolm: "Shady this's Zoe; Zoe, Shady."

Shady: (Takes Zoe's hand, kissing it while looking her over in an understated but predatory way) "Charmed."

Zoe: (Snatching her hand away) "Married."

Shady: (Laughing good-naturedly) "You got hitched, 'Tent'?"

Malcolm: (Flustered) "No, I..."

Zoe: (Businesslike) "Sir, why's this man calling you 'Tent'?"

Malcolm: (Defensively) "Well, it's kind of a long..."

Shady: (Conspiriatorially) "His boot camp nickname. Didn't he tell you? We went through basic together. So one morning the drill sergeant comes in banging a trash can lid at O-dark-thirty..."

Malcolm: (Quickly interjecting, addressing Zoe) "It was early in the morning, and I'd been having a really vivid dream about this girl I knew in school..."

Shady: "So, 'Tent Peg'..."

Malcolm: "'Tent Pole'!"

Zoe: (Tiredly looking around her, delivered deadpan) "Mmm-hmmm..."

(Conversation is interrupted by particularly cheesy note from Elvis)

Shady: (Attending his drink) "This guy sucks... Still, without Elvis it wouldn't be Vegas, Baby, and he was the best I could get to play this rock."

Malcolm: (Now looking at the stage with a haunted, vacant expression; states quietly, soberly) "I've never cared much for that song, neither."


(Clipped. The rest of their conversation regards details of job, which I don't know, cause I'm not writing the movie, hello)


Setting: As Mal, Zoe and Shady conclude their business, cut to stage where Elvis Impersonator has just finished overemoting "SERENITY" for an enraptured Kaylee who stands alone at stage front. Elvis turns to the band and says affectedly, "'A Little Less Conversation', boys." The band's reactions indicate that this is clearly not the next number on the songlist; but they launch in anyway. Near the end of first verse, a large pair of bloomers, presumably from beneath the Pink Cake Dress, is launched from off-camera and covers Elvis' face. Taken aback, Elvis looks in momentary horror at the outsized millinery, then at Kaylee. Cut to Kaylee with hands clasped beneath her chin, smiling coquettishly and chewing her lower lip. Cut back to Elvis who, regaining his composure and swagger, mops his completely dry brow with the undergarment, then curls his lip and says, "Thank ya. Thank ya very much."

Jayne: (At back of bar with apparently well-kissed waitress draped across his lap) "There goes her protection!"

(Fade out)



Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"River? I thought she was a sweet girl. Of course, we were all sure she was crazy, too."

- Inara Reynolds, Secretary of Ecumenical Affairs
from A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence Wilkins, Richard

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Wednesday, April 14, 2004 7:01 AM

BROWNCOAT1

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.


Zoid wrote:

Quote:

Fade in from black, to a wall of lush, dense jungle growth. The camera continues to close in on one particular spot in the waxy, broad-leafed greenery and suddenly, amid the shadowy growth a pair of eyes open wide, then go to slits, peering back and forth to check that the way is clear.

As the camera pulls back, the figure emerges from the bush and we can see that it is Jayne, in full camo and paintstick. As the camera slowly pans from his face to a following shot, he slowly lowers from his crouch to crawl on all fours across the forest floor. The camera pans back from behind, around to his face as he reaches his goal, parts the broad leaves that reveal his target, and a satisfied grin threatens to crease his grim visage as he brings his binoculars to his eyes.

The camera then pans around to the Jayne's-eye view and we behold his quarry...

The entire female cast of Firefly naked and bathing in a jungle pool, in a very businesslike fashion (including Saffron, please; who cares how she got there). We watch them bathing and chatting -- perhaps Kaylee and River splashing playfully -- for long enough to get the 'R' (what? 30 seconds?) then we hear the click-whirr of a revolver and Jayne whirls to find himself staring into the barrel of Mal's pistol.

Mal says quietly, menacingly: "We've got to stop meeting like this."

Jayne whispers angrily: "Sshhh! You'll spook 'em!" and turns back to the scene.

As Mal grabs Jayne's web belt and drags him back through the bushes toward the ship, we go to opening credits.



I love it!!! That would be great.


"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."


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Wednesday, April 14, 2004 12:02 PM

ZOID



And, of course, you can do a PG version with the same scene, using the technique utilized in River's naked "coming out" (of the box) in the pilot...

But this is a guy's fantasy after all. I wrote it, so I get to say who's nekkid.

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Wednesday, April 14, 2004 12:35 PM

ANNIGERRIA


Sick, but cute... Of course, you'd never find the entire MALE complement of the crew nekkid in one place. *sigh*

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