'Hero of Canton' song. I wrote a third verse. by Blackjack68

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'Hero of Canton' song. I wrote a third verse.

POSTED BY: BLACKJACK68
UPDATED: Tuesday, August 18, 2009 22:06
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 11:39 AM

I've been playing "Hero of Canton" on guitar for a long time, but it just hit me last night, while watching Jaynestown, that the song needed a last verse that the minstrel would have written after Jaynes return to Canton.

So here it is with my new third verse at the end.

Do you think it's ok? Anything I need to change?

Jayne, the man they call Jayne

Chorus
He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain't hard to explain
The hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne

Verse1
Our Jayne saw the mudders' backs breakin'
He saw the mudders' lament
And he saw the magistrate takin'
Every dollar and leavin' five cents
So he said "you can't do that to my people"
He said "you can't crush them under your heel"
So Jayne strapped on his hat
And in 5 seconds flat
Stole everythin' Boss Higgins had to steal

Verse 2
Now here is what separates heroes
From common folk like you and I
The man they call Jayne
He turned 'round his plane
And let that money hit sky
He dropped it onto our houses
He dropped it into our yards
The man they called Jayne
He stole away our pain
And headed out for the stars

Verse 3
Now we all rejoiced when Jayne came back to Canton
Threw a shindig in his honor for the day
But Boss Higgins had other plans for the party
And set loose old Stitch to make our hero pay
They faced off in the center square of mud town
Stitch brought a shotgun and Jayne just had a knife
But when the dustcloud dispersed
And we all feared the worst
Jayne had ended old Stitch Hessians life

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 5:42 PM

FREEBROWNCOAT

Cool verse. Ignores the death as all legends do and canonizes Jayne as a hero once again.

"When it's a question between the truth and the legend, print the legend."

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 8:06 PM

RIVERDANCER

It's not bad, but I don't think it has quite the right cadence. I'm having some trouble singing it to the tune. Though that could just be my trouble... I do think it has too many syllables in places.

I think it would flow a little easier thus:

We all rejoiced when Jayne came back to Canton
And threw a celebration for the day
Boss Higgins had his own plans for the party
Set loose old Stitch to make our hero pay
They faced off in the center square of mud town
Stitch brought a gun and Jayne just had a knife
But when the dust dispersed
And we all feared the worst
Jayne had ended old Stitch Hessian's life

Just a few words taken out or altered a bit. I think it would sound more 'heroic' if the last line was something like, "Jayne triumphed over Stitch" something something. Can't come up with anything that rhymes, so I might have to re-write a previous line. I'm a little too tired and groggy for that just now, though, so I'll leave it at cadence.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 9:02 PM

BLACKJACK68

I think you're right. I did make the cadence work when I'm playing it, but I think your shorter version flows a little better.... sounds less cluttered. Consider it adopted, thanks for the input.

"Triumphed"..... yeah, I was really trying to figure out something more like that for the last line, but I just couldn't come up with anything either. If you do come up with something, by all means, post it.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 9:34 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Ooooh, poetry-type stuff! If I can expand on Dancer's redesign:

We all rejoiced when Jayne returned to Canton
We threw a celebration for the day
Boss Higgins had his own plan for the party
Set loose ol' Stitch to make our hero pay
They faced off in the center square of mud town
Stitch brought a gun and Jayne just had his blade
But when the dust dispersed
And we all feared the worst
Jayne's triumph over Stitch was clearly made

I'm not sure this is e-x-a-c-t-l-y right, since the last line seems a little forced to me... Well, it kind of was, I was trying to make it work. I may try to tinker with it more, see if I can find a better fit.

[/sig]

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 10:06 PM

BLACKJACK68

PhoenixRose... I just played your version. I like it, but I still like the knife/life one better. It's a bit more.... hmmmm......dramatic maybe is the right word.
Hey, keep at it though, I think your on the right track.

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