BEST BUFFY QUOTE? by hellsangel

BUFFYVERSE

BEST BUFFY QUOTE?

POSTED BY: HELLSANGEL
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 16, 2006 09:31
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VIEWED: 33669
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Monday, June 6, 2005 9:12 PM

It eats you, starting with your bottom.

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

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Tuesday, June 7, 2005 4:52 AM

SHINY

Willow (to Angel, re: Buffy): And YOU! You're going to live forever and you don't have time for a cup of coffee!?!?!!?!

Jayne, your mouth is talkin. Might want to look into that.

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Wednesday, June 8, 2005 10:57 AM

RANDOMWORDS

S2, Lie To Me:
Wilow: Does it really stick out?
Xander: Does what really stick out?
Willow: A sore thumb. I mean, have you ever looked at a thumb and gone 'wow, that baby is sore'
Xander: You have too many thoughts.

And from the same episode, when Angel says that none of the people know anything about vampires, how they act or even the way they dress, then a guy walks past wearing the exact same clothes as Angel.

S6, As You Were (the one where Riley comes back):

Buffy: My hat has a cow.

and

Riley: Got some big stories to tell to you. If we ever get half a second.
Buffy: Didja die?
Riley: No.
Buffy: I'm gonna win. (the little pleased look on her face is priceless)

More S2, from What's My Line Part 2, Buffy's defence of her death in front of Kendra:

Kendra: She died?
Buffy: Just a little...

S5, The Real Me is one of my favourite episodes, perhaps because it has Harmony being her airhead self for half the ep. Favourite quotes:

Buffy: How bored were you last year?
Giles: I watched Passions with Spike. Let us never speak of it.

(they're playing 'Game of Life')
Anya: Oh crap. Look at this! Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage...
Xander: That meand you're winning.
Anya: Really?
Xander: Yes. Cash equals good.
Anya: Ooh! I'm so pleased. Can I trade in the children for more cash?
(this may have been the root of Anya's love of money - it's all Xander's fault!)

And finally, again from S2 (some excellent stuff in that season), Ted:

Buffy: People are perfectly happy getting along, then vampires come and they run around and they kill people, they take over your whole house and make these stupid little mini pizzas, and everyone's like 'oh look, a mini pizza' but I'm telling you-!

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Wednesday, June 8, 2005 2:40 PM

SHINYSEVEN

I can't remember which episode, but when Xander is told that Cordelia is coming along on a Scoobie mission: "Throw in a little rectal surgery and it's my BEST DAY EVER!"

and when Spike holds Boba Fett hostage to get the Trio to build the Buffybot for him.

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Wednesday, June 8, 2005 11:47 PM

RANDOMWORDS

I found all the planning on how to kill the Mayor in Graduation Day Part 2 very amusing. Particularly Cordy -

Cordelia: That's it! We'll attack him with germs!
Buffy: Great. We'll corner him and you can sneeze on him.
Cordelia: No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and ... it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says Ebola on it and... uhm (snaps her fingers) chase him. (Oz frowns and no one else says anything) ...with the box...

Then of course the immortal Fear Itself. Many hilarious lines.

Willow: Brutus - Caesar? Betrayal, trusted friend? (with banana) Back-stabby?

Giles: Look, look! It's alive! See - how he shakes...

Willow: I'm Joan of Arc. I figured we had a lot in common, seeing as how - I was almost burned at the stake, and plus she had that close relationship with God.
Xander: And you are?
(Oz opens his jacket to reveal 'God' nametag)
Xander: Of course. I wish I’d thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could have been God.
Oz: Blasphemer.

Xander: Who's a little fear demon?
Giles: Xander, don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why, can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it's just - tacky.

Xander: That's your scary costume?
Anya: Bunnies frighten me.

Giles: Oh bloody hell. The inscription!
(I love how this sounds like it's going to be something bad that they hadn't counted on)
Buffy: What's the matter?
Giles: I should have translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.
Buffy: What's it say?
Giles: 'Actual size.'

(Man, I have a lot of quotes all stored up!)
Gotta love Faith as well, escpecially when she switches with Buffy. Eliza Dushku's very good at being exactly like Buffy when she talks to Giles (Faith here is Buffy in Faith's body) -

Faith: I'm not Faith.
Giles: Really? Because the resemblance is striking.

Faith: Stop inching. You were inching!
Giles: Look, I know what you're going to say -
Faith: I'm Buffy.
Giles: All right, I didn't know what you were going to say, but that doesn't make you any less crazy.

Faith: I don't have time for bondage fun.

Faith: Ask me a question, ask me anything.
Giles: Who's president?
Faith: we're checking for Buffy, not a concussion.

Faith: You have a girlfriend named Olivia, and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school, which is valid, life-style wise, it's not like you're a slacker type, but - Oh, oh! When I had psychic power I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. What? Do you want me to continue?
Giles: Actually I beg you to stop.
Faith: What's a stevedore?

Too many quotes not enough time.

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Friday, June 10, 2005 3:16 PM

ALIASWEDONTNEEDNOSTININALIAS

From "The Yoko Factor"

Willow: Look, I'm not the one being judgmental here. I'll leave that territory to you and Buffy.

Buffy: Judgmental? If I was anymore open-minded about the choices you two make my whole brain would fall out!

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Friday, June 10, 2005 3:31 PM

CHRISISALL

From S1:
Is this outfit dated?
Carbon dated.

It floored me Chrisisall

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Tuesday, June 28, 2005 1:59 PM

KATYDID

I think my favorite randomness was:

Yes! And then I'm going to marry Bob Dole and raise penquins in Gaum!- Buffy

I am not a human being having a spiritual experience,
I am a spiritual being having a human experience.

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Thursday, June 30, 2005 7:24 AM

BATMARLOWE

From "Smashed"

Buffy (to Amy): How've you been?
Amy: Rat. You?
Buffy: Dead.
Amy: Oh.

Maybe not the best, but it's up there.

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Friday, July 8, 2005 11:07 AM

DAELUS

Xander: "Hey, look everyone! Giles has a television! He's shallow, like us!"

Spike: "Who you gonna call?... God, that phrase is never going to be useable again, is it?"

Spike: "Randy Giles? Why not just call me horny Giles, or desperate for a shag Giles? I knew there was a reason I hated you."

"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

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Friday, July 8, 2005 1:14 PM

ZEEK

I liked when they saw willow as a vampire and regular willow comes in the library and they all hug her.

She says something like, "y'all didn't happen to do a whole bunch of drugs did ya?"

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Friday, July 8, 2005 1:36 PM

PIFFLE101

I love those all..
But b/c of my SN...i would have to say
Everytime willow or Spike said Piffle...lol

I dont wear underwear...You know that...I mean!?!

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Sunday, July 17, 2005 3:54 PM

BLOODYAWFULPOET

There was a scene towards the end of "I Only Have Eyes For You" where Buffy and Angel become possessed. I thought that scene was really sad, but there's one part that's just hilarious.

Buffy screams "Bitch!" at Angel and he runs off like a sissy. ;)

"I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

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Tuesday, August 2, 2005 8:09 PM

SMITH

I know I'm a little late weighing in on this, and originally I would have said the "in my plan we are beltless" line, or Giles singing "Xander don't bleed on my couch I've just had it steam cleaned", but I was re-watching Season 7 yesterday, and came across a line I'd missed the first time around:
DAWN: "I don't just leave my crossbow lying around willy nilly. At least not since Miss Kitty Fantastico."
So THAT'S what happened to Miss Kitty...!

Jimmy Bond: You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.

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Thursday, October 13, 2005 8:50 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

If I can only have ONE favorite line from Buffy, it would have to be Spike saying to Giles (in "Bargaining", Season 7): "'What's the matter, Watcher? Your whole life flash before your eyes? 'Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea...' "

There were so many great smartass lines that it's hard to choose just one, but that one had me rolling.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 2:18 AM

MINIME

Quote:
Originally posted by Shiny:
Willow (to Angel, re: Buffy): And YOU! You're going to live forever and you don't have time for a cup of coffee!?!?!!?!

Jayne, your mouth is talkin. Might want to look into that.

One of my favourites.

Also, from Season 2, Ep 1 (When she was bad):
Snyder: That girl is trouble. I can just smell it. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually, that would be one of the five.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 12:01 PM

KWICKO

I don't remember which season or episode it was in, but there was a flashback scene where Spike and Drusilla (and maybe Angelus and Darla) were escaping Europe. They were at the docks, and Drusilla was feeding on a sailor. She looked up with that not-all-there smile of hers and said, "Ooooh... I can hear the ocean." Something about it just cracked me up - like she's holding a seashell up to her ear, only she's draining the blood out of a sailor instead. :)

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Monday, October 17, 2005 12:31 PM

ENGINEANGEL

All of these are awesome!!! My favorites are any with Oz in them!!! But especially:

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh. I can't.
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.

AND

OZ: **eating animal cookies** Oh, look, a monkey. And he has a little hat and little pants.
Willow: Yeah, I see.
OZ: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And you know, the monkey's just, "I mock you with my monkey pants!" And then there's a big coup in the zoo.

...and that's where i got my e-mail address from.

keep flyin'
EngineAngel

GO SEE THE MOVIE SERENITY!!! IN THEATERS NOW!!!

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Monday, October 17, 2005 7:15 PM

KWICKO

Yeah, any scene with Oz in it can be counted on for some good quips. He's one of the main things that got me hooked on BtVS in the first place. He's not my favorite actor or anything, but I liked him in the Austin Powers flicks, and when I first saw a Buffy episode, there was Seth Green. It got my interest ("Hey - I never knew he was in this show!"), so I watched... and then of course I got hooked.

Not really a "favorite line" per se, but there's another little thing that Joss does from time to time that I always got a kick out of: One character would ask another what happened, and they'd reply, "It's kind of a long story." To which the first character would say, "You did this, they did that, and here we are... Is that about it?" And the reply would come, "... Well, not that long..." It seemed to be a little bit of Joss thumbing his nose at a TV cliché, the old "it's a long story" ruse to get out of recapping events.

Seriously, though - there's so much witty writing and dialog between characters in Buffy, Angel, and Firefly that it's damn hard to try to have just ONE favorite quote.

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:04 AM

LUCKYSHADOW

During the thanksgiving episode S4, when Spike is tied to a chair and says: "A bear! You made a bear! Undo it undo it!"

Also in S4, the whole teaser for "The Initiative," when Riley, Forrest, and Graham are watching Buffy in the cafeteria.

F: Is she hot or is she hot?
R: She's Buffy.
F: Ooh, I like that--that's girl's so hot, she's buffy.

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Friday, October 21, 2005 8:18 AM

RONAN

Just watched this in the last week. Season 7.

Andrew mis-translating 'from beneath you it devours'.

His translation:

"It will eat you starting with your bottom"

Classic...

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Friday, October 21, 2005 9:16 AM

PHI

What a trip down memory lane!

There are thousands but one I don't think I've seen here (and have very rarely ever seen) is from Gingerbread when Cordy is trying to revive Giles -

'I swear, one of these days you're going to wake up in a coma'

I love that heartbeat of silence before he turns to look at her. Certainly not the best ever but it always made me smile. Please pardon the paraphrasing.

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Friday, October 21, 2005 9:42 AM

CANTTAKESKY

Small moment but it cracked me up. (Quotation not exact.)

Principal Wood: It might just surprise you.
Faith: How?
Principal Wood: You DO know the meaning of the word?

Still makes me laugh out loud every time I think about it.

Can't Take My Gorram Sky

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Friday, October 21, 2005 5:48 PM

LUCKYSHADOW

from S5 episode "Crush" when Buffy finds out that Spike is in love with her:

B: But you're a vampire.
S: Angel was a vampire.
B: Angel was good.
S: And I can be too.
B: Why, because of that chip in your head? That's just holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison.
S: Women marry them all the time!

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Monday, October 24, 2005 3:08 PM

DREAMTROVE

This show was killer lines on end for a hundred and some hours. This makes the task impossible. Like Favorite Xander line from season 3 or something, anything that would narrow it somehow.

Anyway, I was always partial to the line in dead man's party where rupert is in the car after getting out to see if the guy he's hit is okay, and of course he's not, because he's night of the living dead, and he gets back in the car and sees his keys on the road and says:

"Good show, giles!"

Maybe this would be best if narrowed to a particular episode because just from that ep I can think of several others:

"Do you like my mask? It raises the dead. Stupid git."

And

C:"What's that?"
O:"Gile's cat"
C:"Why don't you just cat a real pet like some normal person"

or something like that

"Hootinannny: A whole lot of hoot and just a little bit of nanny"

Actually, I picked another ep. completely at random, it was "when she was bad" and checked all the killer lines in that show, and nine of them were already registered domain names.

This show, Buffy, has a lot of good lines in it.

Some more of my faves from dead man's party:

W: We dusted nine out of ten.
O: Six out of ten.
W: Six out of ten.

"Cordelia, Get out of my shoes."

"You know, I wanted Forest Pine or April Fresh, but Mom wanted Dead Cat."

J: It cheers up the room.
B: It's angry at the room, Mom. It wants the
room to suffer.

I'm sure there are lots of others I missed just from this ep. You could feel a thread with every ep.

Not the body. No funny lines in that one. But most eps, prolly.

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 11:59 AM

LUCKYSHADOW

Some favorites from S7:

This is a butcher shop, Neo. We don't sell toothpaste.

Maybe it's another musical. A much crappier musical.

Giles: As I suspected, ice cream is a universal language.
Chou-Ahn:(in chinese) Like many from Asia, I'm lactose intolerant. I'm very uncomfortable.
Buffy:(through her teeth while smiling and nodding enthusiastically)What'd she say?
Giles:She's grateful to be in the land of plenty.

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Friday, October 28, 2005 7:12 AM

LUCKYSHADOW

Principal Wood: Maybe you don't have to be so blunt about the losing of the necks bit.
Anya: No, let the girl speak the truth. We're all on death's door, repeatedly ringing the doorbell like maniacal girl scouts trying to make quota.

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Sunday, October 30, 2005 12:23 AM

CAPTRULZ

actually Shinyseven, Spike holds Boba Fette hostage so that Warren will look at his chip to find out if anything is wrong with it.

The Buffybot episode was when Warren was on his own and about to leave to go back to collage and Spike kinda imposes himself on him to make the buffybot. no hostage taking just good all intimidation at work

One of my favourite quotes would be Spike/Buffy from s6 (can't remember which ep number,title or exact words but)

Spike: Hang on, are we having a conversion?
Buffy: No! No. well maybe

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Monday, October 31, 2005 2:40 PM

CONEJITA7

I love it when Spike can't bite Willow and she get all insecure and says oh "i get it i am not the kind of girl vamps like to bite you know its like your like a sister to me or oh your such a good friend.

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Monday, October 31, 2005 3:56 PM

JOSSISAGOD

one of my favorite quotes is this one from "Fear itself" :
Xander: Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why? Can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it's just... tacky.

brings a smile to my face at the worst possible moments!

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 2:02 PM

CAPTRULZ

I agree. Definately one of the funniest quotes. Also like insecure Willow in s4 when Spike can't bite her because of the chip:

W - "lets wait half and hour and try again"
S - "Gotta beta idea....(launches at Willow).....ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!"

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Wednesday, November 2, 2005 12:38 PM

LUCKYSHADOW

This one makes me laugh out loud every time:

Dawn: Xander, drive faster.
Xander: I can't.
Dawn: I could drive faster, and I can't drive,
Anya: She's right. You're like a snail. A snail who's driving a car really slowly.

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Thursday, November 3, 2005 6:28 PM

KELLYOFLUTHIEN

This is a hard question! I've narrowed it down to three...well, three that I like right now:

Anya: [singing]"Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes/They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses/And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?/Bunnies, Bunnies it must be Bunnies!

...or maybe midgets."

And, of course my friends and I always walk around saying

[Buffy] "Beer bad. Boy smell nice. Beer foamy."

But, to get serious for a moment, of of the lines that always stuck with me was:

Buffy: "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it."

I love my Captain :)

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Monday, November 7, 2005 6:23 PM

RMMC

Best quote? Oh, man where to start?

In no particular order:

"Welcome to the Hellmouth Petting Zoo." --Buffy, 'DMP'

"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you." -- Buffy, 'PG'

"You open that door and these students will eat you alive."
"You heard about Principal Flutie, right?" Principal Robin Wood & Buffy, 'BY'

"It was like the Heimlich, with stripes." -- Willow 'TP'

"I'm suddenly going to grow this demon part, and we don't even know what it is. It could be claws, or scales... what?"
"Was it a boy demon?" -- Buffy & Willow, 'ES'

"You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?" -- Buffy, 'WML2'

"Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?"
"Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet." -- Drusilla & Spike, 'Halloween'

"She couldn't have dressed up like Xena?" -- Willow, ibid

And if it weren't so late, there's be more. Scary innit?

"Bullet in the brainpan. Squish."

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Monday, November 7, 2005 6:59 PM

CUB

Most underrated Buffy quote ever... Angel in season 2, explaining why he doesn't want his soul back:

"No thanks. Been there, done that. Deja vu just ain't what it used to be."

---

"If wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak."

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005 2:53 PM

CHRISP

I don't remember which ep or season, but...

Willow walks into the library everyone is silent and looking serious and says jokingly: "Sheesh, who died?"

The gang turn to look at her in a shocked way. She stops and says sorrowfully:
"Oh god! Who died?"

I thought that was brilliant.

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Sunday, December 25, 2005 9:01 AM

MISBEHAVIN

I only just started watching Buffy, having been lured in by Firefly and Serenity. I would encourage any others who are just starting out to watch at least as far as the 8th or 10th episodes before starting to form an opinion. That's how far I've gotten and I'm really starting to enjoy the writing and humor. Here are some of my favorite lines and situations, all from "The Puppet Show":

Principle: "There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed, and also smoking."

The Principle, certain he knows the root cause behind a man's gruesome demise, says "that's the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten." He goes on to list the strange occurences at the school, which include "spontaneous cheerleader combustion" and adds that he "can't put up with that."

Cordelia: "It's just such a tragedy for me. Emma was, like, my best friend."
Xander: "Emily"

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Sunday, December 25, 2005 9:01 AM

MISBEHAVIN

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Sunday, December 25, 2005 1:24 PM

STAKETHELURK

Quote:
I would encourage any others who are just starting out to watch at least as far as the 8th or 10th episodes before starting to form an opinion. That's how far I've gotten and I'm really starting to enjoy the writing and humor.

It only gets better, Misbehavin

As for quotes, Principal Snyder's always fun, but one of my all-time favorites is a Xander line from the (deservedly) underappreciated episode "Beer Bad" from Season Four:

"Well, excuse me, Mr. I-spent-the-60s-in-an-electric-Kool-Aid-funky-Satan-groove."

I just love its convolutedness, and the way it's delivered all at once.

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Wednesday, December 28, 2005 11:29 AM

CAT1620RD

Okay here is my top ten-

1. Willow: I wish Buffy was here
Buffy: I'm here
Willow: I wish for a million dollars!
everyone stares at her
Willow: just checking
"Triangle"

2. Vampire lacky: does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No the fact that your fat makes you look fat, that sweater just makes you look purple
"The Freshman"

3. Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bitca?
"When She Was Bad"

4. Buffy: I kill your kind.
Spike: And I bite yours. So how come I don't wanna bite you? And why am I fightin' other vampires? I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
Buffy: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?
"Tabula Rasa"

5. Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleave's family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends m on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.
"Bad Girls"

6. Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
"School Hard"

7. Xander: Basically, I got as far as Oxnard, and the engine fell out of my car. And that was literally. So, I ended up washing dishes at the fabulous "Ladies Night" club for about a month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs. No one really bothered me, or even spoke to me, until one night when one of the male strippers called in sick, and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story. Suffice to say I traded my car in for one that wasn't entirely made of rust, came trundling back home to the arms of my loving parents, where everything was exactly as it was except I sleep in the basement, and I have to pay rent. How's college?
Buffy: Male strippers?
Xander: No power on this earth.
"The Freshman"

8. Xander: And was there a lesson in all of this? What have we learned about beer?
Buffy: Foamy!
Xander: Good. Just so that's clear.
"Beer Bad"

9. Xander: Hey, how goes the slaying?
Buffy: I killed something in a convent last night.
Xander: In any other room, a frightening declaration. Here, a welcome distraction. Tell us all about the killing, Buff.
Buffy: Pretty standard. Vampire staking. But I met a nun and she let me try on her wimple.
Xander: Okay, now we're back to frightening.
"triangle" okay basically every line in Triangle is high-larious!

10. Anya: Here's something you should know about vengeance demons: We don't group with the "sorry." We prefer "Oh, God, please stop hitting me with my own rib bones."
Willow: Go on. Say whatever you want. Rib bones and so forth. I-I deserve it.
Anya: Then you won't mind? Well, then, that's no fun.
"Same Time, Same Place"

and I also enjoy but can't remember the whole animal cracker french monkey wearing pants making the hippo jealous discussion between Oz and Willow.
and just because It always makes me laugh

Jonathan: I need you to hold hands.
Andrew: With each other?
Warren: Well, you know what homophobia really means about you, don't you?
"life Serial"
and everything involving the magick bone

My name is Maximus Aurillies, father to a murdered duck, husband to a murdered scarecrow, and I will have my breakfast either today or tommorrow.

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Friday, December 30, 2005 10:29 AM

SCYTHE404

Everything from Fool for Love.

Dawn: Sorry to interrupt the sex-capades.

Xander: What's with the hand move? Does that like mean something?
Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to 'choo-choo'.
Anya: It means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
Willow: Ask.
Xander: Hey, Riley! What's the [hand gesture] all about?
Riley: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.
Xander: See, now he's all mean and sarcastic.
Willow: That's because you were doing all the yelling, Mr. Stealthy-Pants.

Spike: What did you want, eh? A quick demo? A blow-for-blow description you can map out and memorize? It's not about the moves, love. And since I agreed to your little proposition, we can do this my way. Wings.
Buffy: What?
Spike: Spicy buffalo wings. Order me up a plate. I'm feelin' peckish.

Buffy: You got off on it.
Spike: Well, yeah. I suppose you're telling me you don't? How many of my kind reckon you've done?
Buffy: Not enough.
Spike: And we just keep coming. But you can kill a hundred, a thousand, a thousand thousand and the enemies of Hell besides and all we need is for one of us- just one- sooner or later to have the thing we're all hoping for.
Buffy: And that would be what?
Spike: One... good... day.

Spike: And the thing about the dance is, you never get to stop. Every day you wake up, it's the same bloody question that haunts you: is today the day I die? Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it... not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. Every Slayer... has a death wish. Even you. The only reason you've lasted as long as you have is you've got ties to the world... your mum, your brat kid sister, the Scoobies. They all tie you here but you're just putting off the inevitable. Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second- the second- that happens... You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day. Here endeth the lesson. I just wonder if you'll like it as much as she did.

[IMG]

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006 11:31 AM

XENOPROBE

I love the "Death is your art" speech so much that I made it into a peice of framed art that hangs on my bedroom wall!

Here are just a few of a myriad choices for stellar Buffy quotes:

Snyder: Whoa Summers! You drive like a spaz!

Andrew: I think Timothy Dalton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it!
(and later in the same ep...)
Johnathan: She's coming!
Warren or Andrew (can't remember): Quick Johnathan... grab your magic bone!

Pretty much all of Life Serial is golden.. Buffy drinking and making that revulsion noise each time she takes a swig.

Xander: Who? What? Who?
Giles: Three excellent questions.

or

Giles: Stop - whatever you're doing. You smell like Fruit Roll-ups.

Andrew: Can I have a cool refreshing Zima?
Buffy: Enough already with the Zima!

Andrew: Where have you been? This funnel cake is kicking my ass!

Spike: I'm drowning in footwear!

Buffybot: That'll put marzipan in your pie-plate bingo!

Dawn: Anchovies, anchovies, you're so delicious. I love you more than all the other fishes.

Spike: You're like Tony Robbins ... if he was a big scary Frankenstein looking ... You're exactly like Tony Robbins.

Spike: Is everyone here very stoned?

Spike: Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. (the accompanying hand gestures solidify this as a fave moment of mine)

Buffy: Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.

Willow: I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!

Xander: Calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way.

Xander: Rhymes with ... 'blinvisible'?

Ok- I am taking up waaaaaay too much space here... I could possible go on to quote the entire series- it's all *that* good!!!

~*~*~*~*~

Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng. Shiny.

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006 9:57 AM

MILFORD

I know I'm WAAAYY late on this, but does anyone remember the line Xander has on the Dracula episode? It's after he's already been recruited by Dracula and they're talking about how to stop him at Giles' apartment. Xander then says something to the effect of: "Something something about the Dark Master...." Suddenly, after realizing what he said he quickly adds: "-bater." Easily the funniest thing I've ever heard on TV.

If anyone has a better telling of this scene, let me know, I know I've totally butchered it.

Remember, that but for one trifling exception, the entire universe is made up of others.- Oliver Wendall Holmes

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006 10:14 AM

XENOPROBE

XANDER: (sitting on a stool eating the donut) Like any of that's enough to fight the dark master.

(Everyone gives him a strange look. )

XANDER: ...bator.

~...then after more exposition...~

XANDER: See! Buffy didn't feel it. I think you're drawing a low of crazy conclusions about the unholy prince.

(Everyone gives him a strange look.)

XANDER: ...bator.

Personally I thought your description was a-ok but I thought I'd reply with the full quote - I'm like that :)

I also loved Xander's bit near the end:

XANDER: (back to talking normally) Where is he?? Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?
BUFFY: He's gone.
XANDER: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!

Superb!

Oh and to add yet another brilliant scene to the lengthy post I already penned...

The sequence in Dead Things as the music begins (Bush's Out of This World) and we see Buffy approach Spike's lair; Spike 'feels' her and places his hand to his door, low at first then traces it up to where her hand is resting on the opposite side. This is such a sensual and intimate moment...

So much excellence!

~*~*~*~*~

Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng. Shiny.

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006 10:17 AM

MILFORD

Muchas gracias Xenoprobe! That's just what I needed.

Remember, that but for one trifling exception, the entire universe is made up of others.- Oliver Wendall Holmes

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006 10:56 AM

XENOPROBE

Just because this is how I'm feeling today:

I've been having a bad bad day.
C'mon won't you put that pad away?
I'm asking you please no!
It isn't right - it isn't fair!
There was no parking anywhere.
I think that hydrant wasn't there.
Why can't you let it go?
I think I've paid more than my share.
I'm just a poor girl, don't you care?
Hey, I'm not wearing underwear.

Just another fabulous quote/moment :)

Shiny

~*~*~*~*~

Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng. Shiny.

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006 12:25 PM

KRIMSON

I think Spike had some of the best lines.

There was one episode where Spike having the chip in his head so he was pretty much resigned in playing the reluctant hero. I can't remember the circumstances or the quote exactly but there was some dire emergency that only the scoobies could save the day while Buffy was unavailable.

Spike: "Now are you all sure you really want to do this? This mission is going to be very dangerous and I don't like any of you.. and..
wait a minute, those are two really good reasons."

And then he just walks away. That really just cracked me up.

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006 1:45 PM

LILKAYLEE29

This is one from season 4 that sticks out in my mind...

Spike: Passions is on!!! and Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it I'll.......!

Giles: You'll do what...lick me to death!!!!! Funny, now especially concidering that Passions is now being shown on SciFi Channel of all things!!!

Here's more:

Xander: Nothing says "Thank You" like money in the waistband.... (or something like that)

Guy at Buffy's party: You sure have some weird friends.

Xander: News from the file marked, DUH!!!!

Giles mocking Joyce: Do you like my mask, isn't it pretty, it raises the dead!!! Americans!!!

Anya: I'm 1,120 years old, just give me a frickin' beer!!!

Spike: You made a Bear!!
Buffy: I didn't mean too!
Spike: Undo it, Undo it!!

Oz: I mock you with my Monkeypants!!!

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Sunday, February 26, 2006 10:07 AM

MASTERCHIEF

Best quote ever has to be...

"I know you'll never love me, I know that I'm a monster but you treat me like a man"

Why won't Buffy just love him!? Give the poor guy a break!

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 12:36 PM

MERROVINGIAN

Fire bad. Tree Pretty.

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Friday, March 3, 2006 1:45 PM

SIROSIS

randomly selected...

from S7:
potential slayer: "it's an evil wine cellar."
spike: "yeah, like 'falcon crest'."

OMG!!!! i had to stop the dvd i laughed for so long and missed the whole rest of the scene.

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