SMG is a dork by PIRATENEWS

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SMG is a dork

POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Wednesday, April 15, 2015 04:09
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VIEWED: 7140
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Friday, April 10, 2015 4:27 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

https://www.facebook.com/sarahmichellegellar

In Firefly the Alliance merged the US flag with the flag of Communist China

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Friday, April 10, 2015 4:44 PM

WISHIMAY

And YOU ain't??

Seriously, you find somebody new to stalk er whut?

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Friday, April 10, 2015 5:11 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

yes i wud stalk SMG in a heartbeat. Too bad im busy, lived with 6 hot ladies in the past year (they all crazy!!!) including my hooters roomate now in state prison and my stripper fiance who asked to marry me from jail arrested for driving the mercedes i got her for xmas. Sorry SMG my plate is full of pussy delight.....lol

my hooters roomie in prison sent me a nice email today wants to visit n makeout, nicest happiest person i ever met, shes innocent btw. Her pimp punched me in the face so she moved in with me for deprogramming from his gang-rapes to turn her out, never seen anybody cry for 5 hours. Caught me in bed with 2 of her GFs, laffed n said she never gets jealous then threw a head of lettuce at my head with deadly accuracy while i cooked her a steak dinner, that was so sweet!

we rolling to church free 1 day after jail and 1 day before new arrest to prison for 7 years on probation violation....kids just say NO to CIAs mind-kontrol drugs

I am THAT kind of friend...a photographer!

Havin our first visit in 7 months, she's the prettiest girl in prison, she says, hasn't gone lezbian either, beggin me to visit in person for her only XOXO...WWJD?

my preggie stripper buddy almost married me until she met the xwife $60,000 hilarity ensued, judge even made fun of her boobies. "Were they too small?" my dad the lawyer asked, "no too big" i replied

$150,000 a year income, she taught me how fun preggie milfs r n invited me to film the birth of her child it was amazing, only reason she ever gets to see her kid is cuz of me

my $150,000 a year playboy bunny penthouse pet invited me to hang out in her hotel room so I said OK

cant post the nudies of this hollywood actress on my bed, we buddies on facebook

she invited me to atlanta today to pay me to take pics of her hot model friends in their lingerie

oopsie nice kisser lol cant believe im paid to do this, at least until the popo shut us down and i had to mop a houseful of blood

lady on right showed up at my place to play commando in a lil black c-thru dress

Just another random lady who wanted to hug me 10 seconds after meeting me, "OMG ur so handsome r u married?!" lol

one of my hooters friends goin commando.....

the things hot young girls do for Pirate News...she didnt want me to leave her nekid on my bed for me to go on another date thats so sweet!

My date I left my Xmas gal for, just one of many scary models who stalk me n threaten to kill me but still say they love me r my bestest friend n wana marry me lol

another stripper friend in her 1st photoshoot told me "if u wana be a nude photographer then take your pants off NOW" shes so fun!

my stripper fiance punched me in the face smashed my stuff n tried to stab me so of course i said yes when she asked to marry me lol, she physically stopped her 6'5" 300 lb married XBF from kickin my ass lol thats so sweet!

my fiance detailing her mercedes i got her for xmas to get rid of her, "youre never gettin rid of me now!" she laffed

my lovely fiance makes daily chores more fun

my fiance driving us to work strippin for pro footballers paying $40,000 a nite each in the Champagne Room (i make her jealous too!), fired from every club on the East Coast, retired now I hope. The things girls do for dope. Toughest woman I ever met but she cries and prays so much. Her mom just died from heroin OD. Babydaddy made her dig her own grave. Kidnapped gang-raped tortured nearly murdered by aryan nation dope dealers. She clean now after 6 months jail and 1,000 cops thanks to the car I gave her for Xmas lol. We have the funnest visits now she cant stop smiling never seen that side before, thats when I fell in love. Is she ready to change her life and get her kids back? Or will she soon die alone in a gutter as she often feared? Pls pray for her heart n soul.

let me take a selfie for homework last year

Another pussy shot loungin on my sofa

pussy vu out my back door

jus me doin my dream job and homework for college, amazing how the married girls loved my nudie shots even better than the professor lol, got an A btw. Its been an interestin year...

SMG call me......... resume available upon request, Hollywood screenplay in progress based on my adventures in dating this year, u cant make this shite up my ladies write the script... Cruel Intentions meets Pretty Woman and Joe Dirt

all pics by me

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Wednesday, April 15, 2015 4:09 AM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

today:

Quote:
Thank you all, for such sweet messages. I feel spoiled today. To have so many friends all over the world wish me a happy birthday means more than you will ever know!!

https://www.facebook.com/Omtimes.Magazine/photos/a.10150675658790850.4
56071.193984425849/10152991092095850/?type=1#!/sarahmichellegellar/photos/a.933802809984767.1073741828.931278693570512/958927967472251/?type=1&theater

I wud b honored to stalk her lol

37 goin on 13....

shes a very cute dork!

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