Discussing the Losing Side by jetflair

BLUE SUN ROOM

Discussing the Losing Side

POSTED BY: JETFLAIR
UPDATED: Wednesday, April 19, 2006 06:56
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VIEWED: 1822
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Monday, April 17, 2006 2:20 AM

Just feeling kind of truthsome, and since my muse has departed for the night I'm taking the liberty to ramble on about...well, not much.

This is the first story I've ever written, the whole entire thing an experiment in learning how to write fiction and the evolution of story and themes and concepts. It's evolved into a far diffferent creature from what I set out to write.

The original concept was far shorter; I was thinking under 10 chapters, something that could be filmed in a Firefly episode or two, and there were two things I wanted to explore.

The first being what happened to Mal after the war ended; we saw the shattered look on his face as the world as he knew it effectively ended, and I was curious about what happened from there. I read the Visual Companion which strongly hinted that Mal could have been held as a prisoner by the Alliance afterwards, and there was Alan's whole commentary bit about his imaginary Wash backstory. That was a story that interested me.

The second and deeper being a desire to explore how Mal manages to be Mal. Not just the obvious questions of where he gets the strength and determination to go on no matter what, but the question of how he retains his humanity. What makes Mal an inspiration to me is the fact that he still cares, still feels, and is willing to take the huge emotional risk of loving that crew and that ship of his. He knows probably better than anyone that they are all in constant danger. He's fought and lost a war, been betrayed, he's lost his faith, he's lost his family, he's been tortured and shot and seen friends die.

Those events have left him scarred without a doubt, but he still manages to be a deeply loyal, caring, and even (though he's smart about it) trusting person. As someone who has experienced violence and betrayal and heartbreak and felt myself turn bitter and unwilling to allow myself to care or to bond with others, that was something incredible. It was Mal's example that set me back on my feet and taught me to go on with a realistic knowledge that life will hurt, but that's no reason to deny yourself what joy you can get from it and from the friendship of other people.

Which of course leads to the question of how he does it. The conclusion I tenatively drew was that somewhere, sometime after the devastation of losing the war, there were people who helped him through the hard times when he needed them very much. He may have given up of God and on hope, but he hasn't given up on humanity altogether, and the only way I can imagine that happening and enduring through everything Mal has been subjected to is the very real memories of good people who have helped him and comforted him and cared for him. He has to have the knowledge that some people are deeply good, even as the majority seem cruel or indifferent.

So began a little story. It was going to be short and not terribly detailed, and I didn't much expect anyone to read it. Fast-forward, and here I at 14 chapters into an epic with no end it sight. So much has developed that I never planned for this story. I probably would have simply stopped writing by now, dropped the whole concept as too time-consuming and complicated, if it weren't for the fact that people seem to really like this story, an it's fun doing something that people like. So I go on.

I never set out to write a prison drama; it's an overused genre and one I'm not the least bit interested in, yet it appears to be more or less what I'm writing at the moment. Don't ask me how I thought I was going to tell a story about Mal and Wash in prison without it being a prison story....was clearly not thinking too clearly there. I guess I initially figured on it being a much smaller part of the story.

I never, ever planned on having Mal be tortured, let alone so brutally. I hate the entire concept, and besides that I had no interest in doing an amature remake of War Stories. I wrote myself into a corner on that one; set out to write an action sequence to liven the story up a bit and help Mal get some of his confidence back by getting to be the hero. Another case of not thinking things through.

Wrote the action sequence and realized that if I wanted to maintain the sense of realisism that is Firefly, I had to end it with the only realistic outcome: the oncoming team was going to misread the situation, and Mal was going to get badly hurt. That decided, I opted not to pull any punches. If this was going to happen, it was going to change my story completely, and I might as well go with it. I guess that's the turning point where this turned into a much longer story.

I wrote that scene and felt sick and utterly horrible about myself afterwards. I love Mal, I adore Mal, I care about Mal, and it breaks my heart to think of him suffering. The fact that I wrote something so horriffic really bothered me.

Having said all that, I like my new story. Sometimes, though, it seems that all I am doing is trying frantically to dodge cliches. One thing that made Firefly so wonderful was the fresh way it completely avoided (or confronted head-on) the trite.

I've never been one for dark, angsty stories; never really saw the point. I want my fiction to entertain and uplift me, not throw me into a fit of depression. What happened when i started writing this? Dark, angsty story. Not only that, but I started reading and enjoying similarly miserable fare. Sometimes now, I have to take myself firmly by the hand and look at that style of writing as a genre, and make sure that while I can take advantage of the emotional power of that genre, I remember that isn't Firefly. Firefly is dark and sad, but also funny and warm and joyful even when things get very serious. Again with the avoiding cliches.

Another thing I never wanted to be bothered with was inventing new characters; didn't plan to linger in the story long enough to have to. I very reluctantly and with much effort created Lee; now, I've saddled myself with four extra people in the compound with Wash and Mal and find myself with a whole new set of challenges. I want to ignore them for the most part an pretend they don't exist, but readers won't go for that.

They are giving me a whole new set of cliches to avoid (I hope!) and a challenge in that I have to make them people Mal won't bond with; they don't become part of his crew and they are not heard from later in Firefly. But I can't take the lazy route of making them all jerks. One of them is, but that's the way I made him for a good reason.

This writing thing is more complex, and more mentally and emotionally challenging than I might have anticipated. Thanks for listening, if you made it this far.

______________________________

"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells you when she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home." .......We love you, captain.

"This is the captain. We may experience some slight turbulence and then.....explode"

www.serenityverse.com - Zoe necklace replicas, Serenity dogtags, jewelry, image gallery w/ custom DVD covers, other goodies!

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006 6:56 AM

SQUISH

I still have a couple of chapters left to read of The Losing Side, but I wanted to say that you've done a great job with it. It's true that when you start writing, especially characters as multi-dimensional and wonderful as these, that it sometimes goes places you never expected it to. That, of course, is a good thing. And yes, it's very hard to avoid cliches, especially I think when writing something that was a TV show. We've been overexposed to too many of them. That's not to say that readers are looking out for whenever you slip into one. I personally don't mind the occasional slip.

In working on my first fic, I'm finding that it's hard not to do what everyone else has done (probably a result of having read too much fanfic! LOL). I would also encourage you to not worry (not that you are) about the darker themes coming out. It is part of war, after all. I have begun wondering why so many readers (myself included) enjoy reading the angsty/darker fics (and we REALLY do!). I think it's because 1) it helps us deal with issues we may be facing (as you said) and 2) we want to experience the emotional journey without having to have the actual experiences themselves. We love to be tortured by plays, movies, music, etc. And we always have, way back to the ancient greeks.

Okay, so before I go all profound, I'm going to stop. And say: Keep up the good work!

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