The 13th Colony is shiny - BSG meets FF by rainstick

BLUE SUN ROOM

The 13th Colony is shiny - BSG meets FF

POSTED BY: RAINSTICK
UPDATED: Saturday, May 3, 2008 02:32
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Saturday, May 3, 2008 2:32 AM

Triggered by a thread about Firefly and BSG colliding into one. I came up with this short sketch I already posted there but I think I should share it in the Blue Sun Room to so more people see it.
So, really, what if BSG and Firefly collided into one? Enjoy.

Alternate beginning to BSG 4.1

As battle commences between the Cylon and Colonial fleets, Kara’s viper jumps into the system, and meets Lee inside the nebula.

Apollo (in shock and surprise): "You're back?"
Starbuck: "I've been to Earth-That-Was, Lee! It's shiny!"
Apollo: "It's s-what?"
Starbuck: "I've been there. Came back. Gods sent me. Two times two is four, four of five have been revealed, but only to the audience! They are not our enemies! But they don't know! Five! Prime number! Five-pointed star is power! I am going to take you there, Lee!"
Apollo: "Kara? Are you completely off your axle? What are you talking about? We all thought you had died!"
Starbuck: "Did! Was dead for three days, then returned! I will redeem the human race and lead you to salvation!"
Adama (over the com): "What's that gorram religious gibberish? Laura, is that you again? Have you been pinching from the Doc's chamalla again? Get out of the com, we're in the middle of a battle right now, you know?"
Apollo: "It's Kara, she's come back!"
Adama: "She did what? That's probably a Cylon trick, Lee. Shoot that gorram freak down at once, dong ma?"
Apollo: "But she seems to be Kara alright!"
Adama: "Cut the BS, Cylons probably cloned her. Might have cut on her brain too, just to see how much she could take. Just listen to the nonsense she's putting out over the com to the rest of the fleet."
Starbuck (on all channels): "The thirteenth colony is a fertile land and we shall thrive, we shall rule this land and we shall call it... this land. (deeper voice) I think we should call it your grave. (normal voice) Oh, frak your sudden but inevitable betrayal, you motherfrakking Cylon sleeper agent. (deeper voice) Arr, arr, mine is an evil laugh."
Adama: “Shut up, Kara.”
Starbuck (starting towards the incoming raiders): “I aim to misbehave!”
Adama: “Well, that sound like her, alright. Now shut the frak up, both of you. There’s a whole fleet of Reavers upon us.”
Apollo: “Raiders, dad.”
Adama: “Ravers, Readers, who cares? Do something!”
Apollo: “Sure would be nice if got ourselves a couple of strategic nukes, dontcha think?”
Adama (looks at the screen in the Galactica’s CIC): “What is she doing now?”
Apollo: “She’s flying towards the whole Cylon fleet alone.”
Adama: “Kara! Come back! Starbuck! That’s an order!”
Starbuck: “No power in the ‘verse can stop me!”
Adama: “Oh, yes there are. And a whole squadron of them is coming at you. Get back into formation.”
Starbuck (more to herself; but the com is still on): “I can kill you with my brain.”
Apollo: “No, you can’t Kara. That was Boom…Athena’s special trick.”
Starbuck: “Oh, gosa!“

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