The Buffy Paradigm by Zicsoft

BUFFYVERSE

The Buffy Paradigm

POSTED BY: ZICSOFT
UPDATED: Thursday, February 6, 2003 03:21
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VIEWED: 4767
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Monday, July 1, 2002 12:39 PM

OK, we're all just having fun here. Nothing wrong with that. But it turns out that our favorite TV show has National Security and Homeland Defense implications! If we want to be safe from bioterror attacts, we need to buckle down and learn to deal with ....

THE BUFFY PARADIGM

http://www.csis.org/burke/hd/reports/Buffy012902.pdf

No, this is not some flake with his own web site. This is a reputable national security expert:

http://www.csis.org/html/4cordesm.htm

Scary. Not as scary as bioterrorism, or even as scary as some of the better Buffy episodes. But still pretty scary.

(

A Kiss is Just a Kiss

)

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Monday, July 1, 2002 2:05 PM

PANDORA

Oh dear gourd.

I'm not sure if I should be really, really scared...

or really really relieved...

hmmm...

Pandora

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." -Ralph Wiggum

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Monday, July 1, 2002 2:17 PM

ZICSOFT

Now that I think about it, this sort of thing isn't that weird. It just means Mister Whedon has done a good job of capturing the old Zeitgeist. But you have to smile when you think of some deadly-serious National Security pundit using Buffy for his thought experiments!

On a totally unrelated topic: Pandora, I'm dying of curiousity. If it isn't too personal: What's the story behind this "She stole my heart and my cat" tag?

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Monday, July 1, 2002 9:56 PM

PANDORA

Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:

On a totally unrelated topic: Pandora, I'm dying of curiousity. If it isn't too personal: What's the story behind this "She stole my heart and my cat" tag?

Ziccy: Never fear! "She stole my heart and my cat" is a quote from the exceedingly funny and undeservedly obscure Mike Myers comedy/mystery romp, So I Married an Axe Murderer. A truly hilarious movie, despite its misleading title, it has some of the most quotable moments of any movie I've seen. The quote I use as my tag is from the following poem, read by Myers in a slightly pretentious cafe, accompanied by bongos in the beat style:
(forgive errors, this is from memory)

"Woman.
Whoa, man-
Woooooe, man!
She was a thief,
You've got to believe-
She stole my heart and my cat!

Betty!
Wilma!
Josie and those hot pussycats!
They make my horny,
Saturday morny,
Girls in cartoo-ins
Will leave me in ruins,
I want to be Betty's Barney.

Jane, get me off this crazy thing-
called love..."

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies
and the baby looked at me." -Ralph Wiggum

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Tuesday, July 2, 2002 8:35 AM

BOBKNAPTOR

That report was disturbing! I'll admit that I stopped reading and only skimmed the last 30 pages or so... But it's nice to know that Buffy is so well received. :D

As for So I Married an Axe Murderer... I have to agree with Pandy.... a fabulous movie. Well worth quoting. So, to share in the joy, here's another Mike Myers beat poem/song called "This Poem Sucks":

Harriet.
Harri-et.
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.
Beautiful, bemused, bellicose butcher.
Un-trust-ing. Un-know-ing. Un-love... ed?
"He wants you back," he screamed into the night
Like a fireman going to a window that has no fire...
Except the passion of his heart.
I am lonely.
It's really hard.
This poem... sucks?

That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!

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Tuesday, July 2, 2002 9:34 AM

ZICSOFT

I regret to inform you that I hated SIMAAM. Too busy hating it to memorize all the cute lines. I did smile at, "Hello! I ordered a large coffee!"

Too bad. I had visions of Pandora in some heart-rending Sapphic Soap Opera. Like "Kissing Jessica Stein", only with a cat.

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Tuesday, July 2, 2002 9:39 AM

BOBKNAPTOR

Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
I regret to inform you that I hated SIMAAM. Too busy hating it to memorize all the cute lines.

It's ok, Zic... not everyone is perfect.

Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
Too bad. I had visions of Pandora in some heart-rending Sapphic Soap Opera. Like "Kissing Jessica Stein", only with a cat.

I have this vision too, and it makes me all warm and tingly.

for Pandy. She's my hero today.

Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch.

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Tuesday, July 2, 2002 6:46 PM

PANDORA

Quote:
Originally posted by bobknaptor:
Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
I regret to inform you that I hated SIMAAM. Too busy hating it to memorize all the cute lines.

It's ok, Zic... not everyone is perfect.

Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
Too bad. I had visions of Pandora in some heart-rending Sapphic Soap Opera. Like "Kissing Jessica Stein", only with a cat.

I have this vision too, and it makes me all warm and tingly. for Pandy. She's my hero today.

Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch.

Ziccy: I agree with bob's assessment- your transgression is forgiven. But if you don't like Wayne's World, and/or Austin Powers, we're through!

As for Sapphic Soap Operas, I'm glad to say that my Sapphism is blessedly non soap operatic, and completely sans felines. It's more like dark and farcical romantic comedy...

As for you, Ms. Knaptor... you flirt! You're making me blush!

!

You guys are lovely.

Pandora

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies
and the baby looked at me." -Ralph Wiggum

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Wednesday, July 3, 2002 7:14 AM

BOBKNAPTOR

Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora:
As for you, Ms. Knaptor... you flirt! You're making me blush! !

Ok, Ok, I'll be good. But it's hard to keep myself in check with one as fabulous as yourself around.

______________
I'd still ... if you'd still...
I'd still. I'd very still.

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Wednesday, July 3, 2002 12:56 PM

ZICSOFT

Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora:

Ziccy: I agree with bob's assessment- your transgression is forgiven. But if you don't like Wayne's World, and/or Austin Powers, we're through!

Guess we're through then.

Another romantic opportunity lost!

Quote:

As for Sapphic Soap Operas, I'm glad to say that my Sapphism is blessedly non soap operatic, and completely sans felines. It's more like dark and farcical romantic comedy...

What, you don't like cats?!

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Thursday, February 6, 2003 3:21 AM

IHATETHECOLONEL

hey! i can't believeeee you dont like 'axe murderer' ... it is only THE best comedy i've ever seen! how can't you appreciate the stewart (charlie's scottish father) ....
"i hate the colonel with his weeeee beedy eyes, and that smug look on his face 'ooooooh you're gonna buy my chiken ooooo- oohhh'" ......
you need your head checked!!!!

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