JOSS JUST TOOK THE SKY FROM ME

Saturday, October 1, 2005 4:58:08 AM

I have to admit, I was extremely cautious when approaching this movie,
because, after watching the trailers, so many things stood out to me as
different that there was no way the movie could be any good. All the
characters looked different, spoke differently. But, everyone seemed so
enthusiastic about it, and the messages on this message board all insisted
that if we wanted a sequel, we would have to pay good money and get this
movie broadcast out to the whole world so that Joss and his compadres
could rake in the big dough -- get the "signal out" so to speak.

Well one line from the series sums up this movie perfectly. "He's being
toyed with." It's the most obvious, unnecessary line in any episode
(Shindig) that informs the most minimalized idiot who couldn't get figure
it out. To me it only gains ground as a sentence when Inara blasts forth
her second ironical masterpiece with "Why would I want to leave Serenity."

Anyway, nearly every line in "Serenity" is exactly the same kind of
sentence. Nothing actually ever happens to show you that something was
going on, they just let the crew tell you all about it.


[Spoilers from here on in !!!]

They made a complete and utter mockery of the show. Those of us with a
faint hope of a reincarnation of the show have had our hopes completely
dashed.

First of all, since when was Kaylee the bumbling idiot who was falling all
over the place for nothing but Simon? She was not hopelessly in love with
him, yet now she is slightly more articulate than a valley girl. That is
only because occasionally she spits out the random number of an engine
part. And speaking of Simon, when did he become so stiff? Yeah, Simon
... imagine that they made him more stiff!

And Jayne? When did he actually not become an idiot and gain some kind of
understanding of his surroundings? And Zoe? Show emotion? Question the
captain out loud in any way other than a surface reassurance? Even the
biggest (in many senses), most important character, Serenity, became "...
something out of science fiction," a sterile, technology-overridden
"abomination" of what was once a comfortable, dirty home. WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED TO MY GORRAM CHARACTERS (WITH MORE THAN ONE DIMENSION) (YES I AM
STILL YELLING)!!!!! Perhaps everyone just forgot how to play their part.
River, except for suddenly being so important, seemed like the old River, although much darker. :( Anyway, why was Shepherd Book just suddenly a
worthless character that only carried any weight with people who already
knew something about him? And why does everyone suddenly speak Chinese
with no accent at all, most of the time with a panned away voice over?

And the music? We always have the music right? NO ! Just as the
trailers suggest, Hollywood only allows for one kind of music in science
fiction--the kind that you get in Star Wars, of course. There is a brief
moment where Jayne, who suddenly is an acclaimed blues guitarist, plays
the intro guitar riff. I was so taken aback. GET REAL! This is not
FIREFLY! If you manage to bring yourself to hanging around until the very
end of the credits, well then you will get treated to a beautiful
finger-picked rendition of the show's opening credit music. But guess
what, the opening credits can never be the same.

But the fact of the matter is, nothing happened in this movie that one's
imagination couldn't have filled out from the trailer, except those
ridiculously horrid things that I have alluded to, but I don't dare to
even mention in this spoiler section. "Serenity," summarily, was a waste
of my devotion to the serious that I grew to enjoy so thoroughly. "And
I'm out twelve bits." (Ok $7.75 and a loss of over two precious hours).

Ok there were brief moments of revitalization for Zoe's stoicism, and at
time I felt like things got back to normal, but when I say brief, I mean
at most 3% of the movie. If anyone thinks Joss is a genius, he is a
genius out of control of his art. He made this movie for those he thought
might pay to see it under the illusion that if he made the story only
available to his adoring fans, he wouldn't lose them in the onslaught.

No one new to Firefly could even begin to grasp the depth of the plot
(beyond good guy does bad thing, bad guy outfights good guy, good guy wins
pyrrhically) because it relied so heavily on connections already developed
in the show, that is the parts of the story line they didn't completely
change (for convenience of the contrived plot and script). And now, those
of us who aren't new to Firfly and loved Firefly have nothing left to hope
for. Any redemption of the show, or a sequel, will be a materialization
of this new, mostly science fiction, somewhat Matrix, somewhat Lord Of The
Rings, somewhat cow fetus, bastardization of a previously inviting, now
broken world that we, the Firefly fans, cannot recognize or even relate
to.

Therefore, this movie will hopefully flop just as quickly as the show.
Joss has toyed with us all, and he took the sky from this Firefly captain.
Perhaps he was so tired of the show he had to alienate all supposrt that
was left. And those "Browncoats" who are still intact, well are now the
Reavers to his Alliance.