FLYWITHMECAPTN'S BLOG

flywithmecaptn

Act like an adult "Young Lady"......
Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Boy, how many times have we heard that phrase? (Please feel free to replace "Young Lady" with "Son" if you're a guy reading this.)

I never thought about this time in my life. You always think about growing up, and, no one did much tell you what you could encounter in your travels, nor much prepare you. Just never gave it a thought I'd have to do this one-day.

I'm trying to find housing and/or any kind of assistance be it medical, food or whatever, for my birth mother, yeah birth mother. My father and mother split when I was very young. Lived with my dad my whole life and didn't really have the best relationship with my birth mother growing up. (The reason I call her birth mother is because my stepmother did adopt me, and step-mom is my mother. So for the sake of saying, I will refer to birth mother as "L.")

"L" has always needed someone to take care of her. Didn't graduate high school so, not educated so much. Relied on her first husband to take care of things while she raised two kids. This is not a bad thing, she just didn't know how to do anything, was never taught. Once that marriage was over she struggled until she found someone else to take care of her. That was when she lost us to my dad.

She did remarry and had a daughter from that marriage. "L" has since divorced from that marriage, but had my sister to rely on. My sister and "L" never separated, not once. Now they live together 5 years, 10, 20 30, and, for I don't know what reason, they have decided to live apart.

"L" doesn't collect much money; she has since retired so she is entitled to her Social Security and a small pension from the company she retired from. Sister called me last week and said that "L" was having trouble paying bills and buying prescriptions. In researching her information I discovered that "L" only makes $25 dollars more than her rent is a month. Add on top of that, a $250 heating bill, phone, groceries, gas, etc. she has no money. None!

So, here is where I play adult, I've since collected all the information from "L" I think I will need to make a case for her to get some sort of assistance. I've called the Department of Elderly affairs and am now trying to set up an appointment to have someone meet with us. I say I'm playing adult because "L" had all this information and was to meet with someone but, because she is afraid to speak to people, because she get anxious when folk start talking over her head, she becomes confused and very, very upset. I guess she needs me to rely on now, to take care of her, and I guess I will. So I will play adult. After all she is my mother. I do love her and can't see her live on the streets.

But why couldn't my sister do this? Hmm………Dunno. Maybe she just got tired. Looks like I'll be playing adult for her too one day. Or, wait, I'm older, hope she takes good notes through all this. I just might need her to rely on one day.


Thanks for listening.

COMMENTS

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 11:24 AM

13


My dad takes care of me, almost totally and fully, and I am already ready to take care of myself. I've never been told to act my age, but someday I might. I look foreward to the day where I can repay the favor.

BTW, Captn, sorry about that time I was sining FUgees naked..

*Killing me softly..with his song*

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 10:11 AM

AZBROWNCOAT


Captn, you have my best wishes. Please, remember to take care of yourself though. I know sometimes when caring for others it is easy to push one's own needs to the side simply because they seem smaller in conparison, but they aren't. Yes, she is your mother and needs help, but you also need to be whole and healthy in mind and spirit.

Good luck.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 10:11 AM

AZBROWNCOAT


Captn, you have my best wishes. Please, remember to take care of yourself though. I know sometimes when caring for others it is easy to push one's own needs to the side simply because they seem smaller in conparison, but they aren't. Yes, she is your mother and needs help, but you also need to be whole and healthy in mind and spirit.

Good luck.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 3:53 AM

COWGIRL


Captn, I've been through some of this myself. My mom had a stroke and needed rehabilitation. The only qualified place near her home was 60 miles away and we lived 1200. I flew with her air ambulance and brought her to one a mile from our home. She lived 10 years with us. Had excellent long term memory but couldn't tell you if she'd had lunch. We made it work. But there were times I had to wear the bad guy hat. I handled the dr. appts, the medicine and the moderation of smoking (impossible when one hasn't memory). I wanted to the the fun daughter...(ps. I'm an only child)
This'll be hard...but you'll look back on this and be glad you helped.
If you need to talk, ever, you know where to find me.


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