(to the tune of “The Ballad of Serenity” by Joss Whedon)

UPDATED: added some needed verses, tweaked a few others.

The Ballad of “Firefly”

By C. A. Bridges

(to the tune of “The Ballad of Serenity” by Joss Whedon)

Brand new show, worth a glance

Thought I’d give this one a chance

Now I’m stuck here helplessly

You can’t take my show from me.

Pilots, thugs, crazy girl

Browncoats fighting for their world.

Western sci-fi fantasy

You can’t take my show from me.

Nothing left on TV since you took Serenity

But you can’t take my show from me.

Captain Mal, Shepherd Book

Both have ethics, one’s a crook

The other one’s a mystery

You can’t take my show from me.

Zoe fights fierce by gosh

The question’s why she married Wash.

He knows all the steps, you see

You can’t take my show from me.

Nothing left on TV since you took Serenity

But you can’t take my show from me.

Jayne’s the man for combat

Muscles, guns, and cunning hat

Just don’t trust his loyalty

You can’t take my show from me.

Kaylee Frye, engineer

Keeps the ship up in the air

Just on cheerful energy

You can’t take my show from me

Nothing left on TV since you took Serenity

But you can’t take my show from me.

Simon Tam, he’s got meds

Saved his sister from the feds

Now he fights to keep her free

You can’t take my show from me.

When you’re here, River’s there

Dreams and nightmares everywhere

Hers have tangibility

You can’t take my show from me

Nothing left on TV since you took Serenity

But you can’t take my show from me.

If you come bearing cash

Inara will give you some... class

Sweet Companion ecstasy

You can’t take my show from me.

Bound by fate, doomed to flee

They’re a close-knit family

Bickering and banditry

You can’t take my show from me

Nothing left on TV since you took Serenity

But you can’t take my show from me.

Then the crew found firsthand

‘Gainst one thing they could not stand

Network folks’ stupidity

You can’t take my show from me.

Went to watch thieves and whores

All I found were high school scores

Pre-empted to a sad degree

You can’t take my show from me.

Nothing left on TV since you took Serenity

But you can’t take my show from me.

Take our slot, take our cast

Run them all mixed-up, half-assed

I don't care, there's DVD

You can't take my show from me.

Put the shows on the shelf

I’ll write fanfic for myself.

It’s my gorram reality

You can’t take my show from me.

Nothing left on TV since you took Serenity

But you can’t take my show from me.

Went online, found a war

This is what they’re fighting for

Browncoats everywhere agree

You can’t take my show from me.

Bought the shows, spread the word

Big damn movie deal’s assured

Now we want a trilogy

You can’t take my show from me.

Nothing left on TV since you took Serenity

But you can’t take my show from me.

(with sincere thanks to Shmuel for help and giggling)