Zoot’s Virtual Petting Zoo by Zoot

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Zoot

Zoot’s Virtual Petting Zoo
Thursday, April 14, 2005

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about the therapeutic effect of owning or caring for animals (e.g. lowering blood pressure).

So, in a vain attempt to keep us all as fit and healthy as we can be, I am hereby instituting a virtual petting zoo. There will be a selection of animals here every week for you to pet and cuddle and call your own. Take some time out of your busy day to lower that blood pressure and stroke something furry… (Ahem!)

This week’s offerings are as follows:

1. Angora Rabbit

This fluffy little critter is the ideal petting animal for those of you who like your pets so cute it hurts and with a limited ability to draw blood. Feel his woolly little ears and laugh affectionately at his winsome wrinkled nose. Go on! You know you wanna! This bunny is a petting MUST for everyone who isn’t an ex-daemon with a rabbit aversion. Be careful though – If you’re allergic to wool chances are you’ll be allergic to this wee man’s fur – so go for the surgical gloves, if that’s the case (blue for preference – you’ll find some hanging on the door of his hutch – right there, behind you). An added bonus, once you’ve all done with the stroking, we’ll shave him and make a jumper…

2. Ahuizotl

This less than fluffy enormous critter hails from Central America. Its half man, half monkey (surely, that’s Jayne?), so I recommend petting the monkey half. Legend tells, however, that this fella has a hand on the end of its tail, so feel free to shake that or just hold it (if you’re into that kinda sappy thing). The Ahuizotl is very rare, so we’re very lucky to have it in week 1 of the petting zoo!! Make the most of it. A single caveat, while petting animals can relax you, this one has a fondness for human flesh, so count your fingers before you leave the zoo.

Disclaimer: When entering the petting zoo the level of your blood pressure may go up as well as down.

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