What gives with reality?
Monday, February 6, 2006

I really think I want to make this a "Dear diary" item. It's SO me!

Let's talk about the Tams.

(uh-oh, there he goes again!)

Is River real? Or, to put it in another way, am I insane? No, I'm serious. Please, bear with me for a moment.

Clinically speaking, a psychiatrist would probably define "insanity" in terms of no longer being able to distinguish fantasy from reality. Am I, by that definition, insane? No. Because I do not actually believe River Tam is a real-life character (I can't believe I just said that; *shudder* Curse my sudden, but inevitable betrayal!). And yet I say: "Full well she's real!"

Wait a tick! What was that?

Now, the point I'm driving at, is not that River provides for me a reality which is so strong and fulfilling that, to me, she could be said to be "real". Rather, I mean to say, she's better than real! And that, in point of fact, she's even supposed to be better than real! And that I'm very much aware of this; and that I'm very much supposed to be aware of this. :)

River Tam is a mirror; but a very special one: the kind that shows you a better you! It's a favorite theme of mine. Looking into those beautiful wide eyes, I then see what I could be, and what I so very much want to become in the moment. As Nicholson expressed this so well to Helen Hunt, in As Good As It Gets, "You make me want to be a better person!"

Spiritually speaking, is that not the greatest reality of all, the awareness of one's own potential, and ensuing drive towards betterment of the soul? Does not the clinical definition of reality fall so short of this? How barren it is, I say!

When River says "I didn't think you'd come," I find myself elevated to levels of humanity that are, quite frankly, off the scale. At that one moment, for a moment, I become like my own soul, hundreds of years in the future, shiny to the Nth Degree, beaming with a Tenderness, Love and Care that -- if you want to talk reality -- are truly uncharacteristically human in the now.

From such heights, looking down at Earth-That-Was, I say, what gives with reality? I'll take the blue pill! I want to see how deep the rabbit hole really goes! I want RealityPlus; I want the expanse we call the 'verse!

FireFly, and River Tam in particular, of course, makes me want to be a better person. In that sense, I've relinquished my commitment to the reality of my current self. So, maybe I'm insane, after all. :)


Thursday, February 9, 2006 1:16 PM


This is what books, tv shows, and movies are supposed to be: An escape from reality. The very special ones, like firefly, allow us to suspend reality enough that we envision ourselves in the situations the characters are in. We experience their triumphs, their sorrows, and their joys.

Reality is over-rated...and strangely enough, it's also the leading cause of stress.

Monday, February 6, 2006 10:10 PM


I've been sane a good long while now. And change is good.


You must log in to post comments.